How To Deal With Everyday Anxieties

Hey, guys, it's Brendon. And in this video, let's talk about everybody's favorite topic, anxiety. I think we get this question quite a bit, Brendon, how do I deal with my anxiety, my nervousness, my fear, my struggle, my constant incessant mind freaking me out all the time. And the good news is the answer is so easy. Stop worrying about it. In some part. That will be my advice to you today. Obviously, this advice today will come with the idea of this isn't psychological advice. I'm not a psychiatrist or neurologist or a psychotherapist or anything that ends in ist that I'm aware of anyway. This is just a conversation about how to maybe deal better with some things. And lots of people, they might not need to go see. They might actually need to go get some therapy, get some assistance, get on some meds. I don't know what your circumstances always consult your advisors, but let's have a go at this. My first piece of advice is really that to stop worrying about it as much. Most people's question is, Brendan, how do I overcome anxiety when that's an immediate tell to where the problem lies? They're trying to stop something. They're trying to let me stop having so much anxiety. And my argument as a high performance coach is always actually what would happen if we turned our attention and started asking a different kind of question, which is this, what must I begin to do to develop more confidence and strength in my life? Because I believe you can develop your strengths and your confidences in life to such a degree that you just stop experiencing as much anxiety without even working on the anxiety. Say, what would I have to do in social situations to be able to, you know, develop some confidence? What would I need to do to develop a deeper competency, skill set, talent, ability in this new area that will make me an all around stronger, more competent and capable person. I think we should focus on the plan to develop your strengths much more than just stopping some of the inadequacies or the worries. Those will always be there. If you don't have them, the game is over. If I ever get to the point where I'm backstage and I'm about to go out on stage and perform for thousands of people who, who've paid thousands of dollars to see me, who came from 40 plus countries to be in the room, if I don't have any anxiety to that some performance anxiety that's gonna tell me that's probably the day I should turn it in, quit, retire. Cause it means I Don't care enough about it. I want to experience some anxiety. I wanna have a little stress. We know from high performance studies that a little bit of stress can give that edge in performance. And as long as it's managed, as long as it's utilized as a tool to pay attention, to focus, to execute, versus as an excuse to stop. So how have you been using anxiety as a performance enhancement tool or an excuse to stop? The world's highest performers use it as a tool. They get an edge from it and they say, okay, I'm nervous, but that tells me I'm in the game, I better pay attention. And they also develop plans to develop themselves, to strengthen themselves in all their areas. Emotionally, socially, financially, physically, spiritually. So that those anxieties start to diminish as they become more. I would also say, though, let's be honest, we're always gonna have anxiety, so let's just figure out what it is. I think the best thing we can all do is say, where's this coming from, this anxiety and this worry I'm having right now? Where is it coming from? Is there a place that I can put on it? Did this thought come up and it's freaking me out? Did this person say this thing to me and it's freaking me out? Did I get lost in this loop of distraction and in my concerns and my worries to such a degree, I stopped focusing on what the real goal is. Sometimes the best way to overcome anxiety is to recharge or re aim your focus towards the things that you do want. But let's talk about that anxiety because we will have to address it. Anxiety usually is coming from just three places, and once you realize it, it's not so scary anymore. The scary part about anxiety is when you don't know why you have it. And again, for some people, they might have a chemical imbalance, they might have a challenge or a past unconscious traumatic event that is coming up for them and they might need to seek some help for it. Others can just sit down and go, okay, where is this coming from? And. And knowing that it's probably coming from three places that now we can deal with it. Most anxiety comes from fear of loss. You feel like in any uncertain situation, you feel like, gosh, if I don't do well here, I might lose reputation, I might lose my job, I might lose someone's respect or somebody's love. I might lose something I like. If I try something new and it doesn't go well, it's just scared they might lose something. So ask yourself Next time you feel anxiety, what am I scared I'm gonna lose here? What could I be scared of that I'm gonna lose here? Maybe that's what I needed. And then do fact checking, saying, is that legitimate? Is that a concern? I'm blowing up in my mind and I have no basis in reality to figure out. And if I don't, I need to stop thinking about it and I need to start focusing on what's tangible action items I can do tomorrow or today to take one little tiny step closer to. Because sometimes the easiest way to wipe out anxiety is to get a little momentum. I would say the second thing that people often fear is hardship. They just think the real anxiety is, I'm not going to be able to handle this. I'm not enough as a person. I don't have the skills, the capabilities, the competencies, the talent. And if I try it, it's going to be hard on me. People say it's going to be too hard on me. And I tell people all the time, if that's coming from that, you have no idea how strong of a human being you can be. You really don't? I don't. And I'm not saying that. I'm not preaching here. I don't. We don't know. I'm stunned at the things I can handle today that I couldn't handle 10 years ago. And I know there's areas of your life like too. Like things that you just, you can handle today. When you first tie your shoe, you fear that you're not going to be able to figure it out the next time it's going to be too hard or you're gonna be embarrassed. But then you do it 10 times and now you've got this. The hardship thing doesn't bother you anymore. So one way to overcome anxiety is to question where do I feel like I'm not gonna be enough or capable here? And then start doing a little diagnosis, say, but where have I been so capable of before? Or how could I develop this capability? What support or mentorship could I get to go to the next level here to know that I'm not gonna have to handle on my own, that I'll have real support. Cause sometimes what we need to know to overcome anxiety is that will be supportive. Last piece. I think people really have a lot of anxiety towards is disappointment. They fear that they're gonna. They could do it, they could try, but maybe it doesn't turn out well. And because it doesn't turn out well, they start inventing all These reasons now, it's. It's not gonna turn out well. They're gonna lose something and they're gonna have hardship and they're gonna feel like crap. You know, they actually are fearing what they're going to be fearing, feeling, and that's the anxiety. The anxiety is actually just a sense of, oh my gosh, I might not feel good. And it causes us to feel even worse, right. Disappointment. And so you have to look at and say, maybe I need to change my value of criteria here. Maybe this isn't about whether or not I succeed. Maybe it's about whether or not I give effort towards something is meaningful to me. Maybe it's not towards whether it turns out perfect. But it's that I began the journey that we stopped thinking about, is the destination going to be perfect and the promised land for us? And instead we ask this question is, can I develop as a human? Can I just. You know what? Yes. Maybe part of me overcoming anxiety is getting more comfortable with the uncomfortable. Not to get rid of the anxiety, but to get rid of how I'm dealing with the anxiety. To take pride in the fact that I'm, I'm facing it, I'm dealing with it, and I'm still marching on. And I think if we face it, we deal with it and we still march on, we start to really start managing that anxiety. You have greater strength in your ability and in your body than you could ever possibly imagine. And I'll say it all day long because you probably don't believe it in those moments when you're experiencing anxiety. But next time you start to experience anxiety, sit down and say, where's it coming from? Am I scared I'm gonna lose something? Am I scared of hardship? Am I scared I'm disappointed. Do any of those things have any factual, like, matter to them? And if they do, what am I gonna do with that energy? Am I going to let it stop me? Or I'm gonna use it as a tool to pay a little bit more attention and to keep momentum. Because I know the more momentum I get, the less anxiety I'll have. Start focusing on developing your strengths and your momentum. You'll start to experience what we call the charged life. Hey, guys, it's Brendan. Did you like this episode? If you did, you can do three things right now to continue your journey. First, you can subscribe right here to my channel, which I hope you will, so I can keep sending you videos on a weekly basis to change your life. Second, you can get my brand new book for free by clicking the link right here. And third, you can also go to my website and sign up for my newsletter so I can send you free offers, free products, free programs, updates on my events, new podcasts, and everything else that we don't do on this channel here. If you like to do that, just go ahead and click any of these buttons you see right here. Look forward to seeing you on the next video. Until then, go out there every single day of your life. Live fully, love openly, and make your difference today.