How To Deal With Stress

How do you deal better with stress? Great question. I think the first thing we must all do at some point in our maturity is decide not to be a stress case. You know, there has to be an intentional decision at some point in our lives where we say, look, I'm not going to be this stressed anymore. I'm allowing too much stress into my life. And please notice the words I'm using here. I'm allowing too much stress into my life. Most stress is not real. No one hands you a plate of stress. It's not something you see and we can transact in exchange. It's something we make up in our mind. We make things stressful that may or may not be or have any cause to be stress inducing. You know, one thing that could stress you out might not be a stressful thing to anybody else. So that proves we're making it up. And since we're making it up, we should decide what we're gonna do in the future. Are we going to always be stressful people or not? I know that sounds so silly, but I made that decision when I was young. I was 20 years old, and I said, look, I don't want to be a stressful person anymore. I used to stress about getting everything right and getting good grades. And I'd stress about, you know, pleasing people and stress about, did I fit in. I'd stress about college. I'd stress about, and some point all this is made up. You know, Matter of fact, most stress is coming from usually one of two things. First is a false time crunch that we perceive. We think we only have so much time, so everything becomes stressful. Oh, my God, I gotta get this done. I gotta get this done. I got this done. And we're reacting our lives to really false deadlines. Someone asks you for something, you think you have to get it to them right away. You probably don't. It's probably not a real deadline. And unless you ask them when is the real deadline on this? I mean, the point in which everything crumbles and falls apart, if you don't get it, then what would happen? What is the worst thing that would happen if you didn't get that exact time? I'm crazy about this in my life. If someone says, well, Brenda, I need this by Thursday, I say, okay, if you need it by Thursday. Is Thursday the day everything would explode and fall apart if you didn't get it? And they're like, no, I mean, Monday would be fine. And I just bought myself Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and part of day Monday, I Just bought five days by asking when the real deadline is. Because most people, they say they want something from you when they want it, not when they need it. So your job to help deal with just the time crunch that stress can feel like is asking when is the real deadline? And all these things that you're stressed out about, do they really need to be handled right now, this immediate second? Would it be okay if you created a plan and you handle them over the next couple days, next couple weeks, next couple months, when you actually realize the unbelievable amount of time we all have as humans and how much more time we have when we become focused, diligent, intentional, disciplined, then we're not so much stressed anymore. It's like, I will get to that when the time is appropriate for that. Before that, I've got other things. I don't get stressed out about time things anymore. Because I also realize that the second sort of trick our mind plays on us is to make things more important than they really are. I mean, are you running around town really stressed out just to get the groceries? To get groceries? Groceries are stressing you out. Like, come on now. I mean, some people don't even have the ability or the gift to be able to buy groceries. They're broke. You got the ability to drive around your car, to go into a fancy Whole Foods, to find some kind of great food that you like and you get to choose. It's not being served up on a metal plate in a prison. I mean, hey, you got some blessings here, right? But what we do is, oh, it's one thing I don't want to do. And so we create stress and negative energy around it. Let's better manage our minds. Let's decide not to be stress cases. Let's say, how much time do I really have on this? You probably have more time than you think. Or you could ask for an extension of time. And as long as you deliver and you can realize that whatever you're making up to be a big story, a big deal, it probably isn't. And if you're willing to give yourself a little bit of just perspective to say, okay, how would my highest self view this? How would my best self deal with it? Would it run around like a nine year old child, all stressed out? Or would it just say, ah, I got this, I, I can handle this, all things in due time, and you just allowed it. Now, for some of you, this whole conversation, you've been fighting me. And that's because you think, well, he doesn't understand me or my life. Is so much different. And all I have to say is, well, then you're probably a stress case. With all due respect. With all due respect, people who fight basic stress advice are usually the ones who are the most stressed because they want to make their stress right. They want to justify it. They want to have a reason for all this turmoil and drama and stress in their life. They're looking for a reason. And you know what? There is no reason, except that reason in which you give yourself. There is no reason any of us has to be wandering around crazy stressed out. We could all be much more peaceful if we would just do a few very basic things first, get perspective on the situation. When is this thing really due? Is it that really important? And if it is due and it is important, how can I go about this process, Getting in and getting it complete, relaxed from a peaceful place? And what are the answers to that? The second piece of dealing with stress is to learn to breathe. You know, most of our mental tension is also coming from our physical tension. If you're not breathing in the moment, if you're just always taking little sips of air, you're going to deal worse with stress. But allow yourself to just breathe. Let your stomach out, you know, allow it to fill up like a balloon with air and expand and contract and actually take in deeper breaths. You'll find yourself calming yourself down. That's not my perspective. That's not my belief. That's science. We can tell without any question that the deeper breathing you do, the more calm you can get yourself. It's the same reason why any person who deals with folks with a phobia or people who are dealing with folks who are just troubled and struggling, or the same reason you go to yoga and they tell you to breathe a little bit because it's life. Give yourself that gift of breathing in it. Second, there's no question that at some point, even if you decide not to be a stress case, you actively manage your perspective about time and importance. You're taking a breath you're still going to get with days where you feel overwhelmed, that there's a lot going on and you're kind of freaked out about it. So here's two very simple things you can do. One, take a walk. You know, leave the office or leave your house. Go for a little bit of walk. You know, I'm not talking about, you know, walking across the country and leaving all your responsibilities, though that sounds cool. I would just say go for a short stroll, you know, 20 to 45 minutes of a walk. Outside, yes, outside can completely open up your mind again, help you find calm and just some kind of inner sense. Because you're walking, you're moving, you're breathing. For some of you, that might mean exercise. You know, go for a run, go for a jog, like, move your body to dispel some of that physical tension and your mental attention, your mental tension might go with it as well. Makes sense, right? And then finally, for stress, it's so simple, you're going to hate it. It's so tactical and people hate when I say this, but it's time to get organized. Most of the stress that is in our lives can be managed if we just organized it. Said, okay, I'm gonna deal with this on this day, this on this day, this on this day. If we really chunked out the hours of the day to move towards accomplishing the things that are troubling us. You know, sometimes just knowing that tomorrow you're gonna handle it from 9am till 10am it creates peace of mind. It like moves it off the stress of now to saying, that's the time this is going to be handled. And once you have this knowledge in mind, that's when I'm going to handle it. It releases a little bit of that craziness that's going on right now. Now, I know this is a little bit of a random conversation with you here today. I'm just sharing my ideas off the top of my head. I hope it supports you. I know without a question that one of the most important decisions you'll make in your entire lifetime is to better handle stress, to decide your identity and who you are anymore. You, you're not gonna be as stressed as you were last year or the year before. We should all become more peaceful, more thoughtful, more present, more joyous people as we age. Would you not agree? And if that's true, then it's time to start now. Get perspective, breathe, take a walk, get organized. Do whatever you have to do to handle that energy a little bit better. Do that over and over and over again. Suddenly it goes away. This whole game of life becomes a little bit of a game changer. You have a lot more joy in it, and you get to experience what we call the charge line. Hey, guys, it's Brendan. Did you like this episode? If you did, you can do three things right now to continue your journey. First, you can subscribe right here to my channel, which I hope you will, so I can keep sending you videos on a weekly basis to change your life. Second, you can get my brand new book for free by clicking the link right here. And third, you can also go to my website, sign up for my newsletter so I can send you free offers, free products, free programs, updates on my events, new podcasts, and everything else that we don't do on this channel here. If you like to do that, just go ahead and click any of these buttons you see right here. Look forward to seeing you on the next video. Until then, go out there every single day of your life. Live fully, love openly and make your difference today.