How To Start Living Your Best Life (1-Hour Class!)

What's something you're going through? You're like, man, this sucks. But there is something. It is building. It's building. I always tell people, no matter what's going through, it might be. And I don't know if it's true, but maybe it's building up some type of value within you. Values like, you know, love, truth, temperance, integrity, respect, responsibility, compassion, understanding, unity. What is it for you? How many of you before you got here today? You got up and you worked out. Would you stand up for our workout? Friends in the room? Look at our friends. Let's go. Look at this. Yeah, baby, you got it. My boy. My man. Let's go, let's go, let's go. Okay. Wow. That's way more than I thought. That was 20% of this room. That's pretty insane. That's great. Good job, guys. It's not that you have to work out every morning. I just want you to activate your body and your mind and your breath. Find a way to do that. Now, I showed you what I do. Like. You're like, that's what you do. Like, yeah. I get up, I stand, I take those 10. If you're trying to capture it in your notes, now that you have your notes, you're literally like, this is what I do every morning, 15 years. I stand, I take 10 deep breaths. I gotta do that. Only since 2011 with my brain injury, did I learn how important it was to activate the parts of my brain, especially for me, that I was injured in. So I know it looks so simple, but when you do that little cross arm, cross body movement and you look to the side, that is activating your brain. Like I said, like a Christmas tree. It is activating balance. But in terms of your, like, pre. Prefrontal cortex, not doing a lot. But my cerebellum. Woo. Turning on all of this part of your brain is turning on all of the back part of your brain is turning on, and you're just like, oh, okay. It's just getting the mind and body into balance, right? Mind and body in the balance. Then for me, then I'll do 10 air squats. Didn't make you do too many of those. And then I'll do the full body qigong, three rounds. Then I'll do some vocal activation. For me, it might be my purpose statement. It might be an affirmation. I choose that day for myself. Sometimes I'll read from scripture, sometimes I'll look at a quote, But I'll usually have something prepared for me nearby. And I'll just grab it and I'll go, and I'll say it out loud, say it out as I said, and then I'm ready to go. And for me, in the mornings now, I'll go over to the gym or to the yoga mat, depending on. Is it workout day and is it just a stretch day? If it's a workout day, I go work out. If it's a stretch day, I just stretch. Then I go over and I sit down and I read. Usually between 30 minutes to 45 minutes. It's always personal development or spirituality, sometimes leadership. Just. Just read. Then I get myself together a little bit. If I don't have my green tea yet, I'll hook up with a green tea. I'll go out or sometimes decaf. Now, I went to Europe, and they gave me some of those little espressos. Oh, my God. Did you know I didn't really have coffee till I was, like, 30, 38, 39 years old? And we went to a Paris trip. And we were in Paris, and everywhere we sat, they would come up and ask if you like an espresso. And I was like, when in Paris, I guess I'll have an espresso. And then it was like. But it was like breakfast, lunch, and dinner. And, man, we walked. I mean, man, did we walk. We walked all of Paris. I mean, it was like hyperspeed. I was like, it was awesome. Denise. Like, you want to go shopping? I'm like, yes, let's go. I was fired up. It was amazing. And then I got. I like the taste. Sometimes I'll eat the decaf. And then I go in the studio. And in the studio, some of you know, I have my battleboard. And my battleboard is just big butcher paper. And on that paper, I've drawn out 12 boxes to represent the year. And I just look at my goals and what I'm focused on and what deadlines are there. And I'm a visual person. So I have to stand in front of that thing and look at it and re anchor to my vision, to my dreams, what's going on in my life. Cause I forget everything going on in my life every day. I'm like Groundhog's Day up here with my brain injury. Like, it's such a gift. Like, I wake up as a blank, dumb slate every day. Like, if you met me, I'm so dumb. In the morning, you'd be like, brendan, you remember my kids? I'm like, what were their names? Now, an hour later, I'll remember. But in the morning, I'M like, huh? What? Denise? Like, remember the people coming over to do this and do this, and then we got to do this. I'm like, what? Denise is different. She wakes up in the morning and God downloads a list, and the list starts up here, and then it goes out her feet, and then it scrolls all the way to Israel. I don't know what goes on with her. It's just. Man, it's unbelievable. She wakes up and lists, downloads. I mean, I'm the opposite. Nothing happens. Not a thing. Who? Anyone else in the room. Just nothing in the morning. I mean, I'm just. Yeah, I don't know what that is. So now I got to stand in front of the goals, look at the goals, absorb the goals, think about them, visualize them. Think about it. Okay? That's what this is about. Today. Great. Then if I go over to my computer or my desk, at that point, I don't check my email. I look at the planner. So I have a high performance planner. I like to write everything out night before in my high performance planner. There's the day schedule. I do my morning mindset. I still like to write in the high performance planner. If I don't write in the high performance planner or I'm on the road and I don't have it, then I just use growth days morning mindset. As you guys know, any morning mindset people in growth day, let's go. So I'll do that one. Boom. I like that one. Now especially, I'm so tied to my planner, but I'm falling in love with growth day because then it remembers it and I can search it, and that's become a big thing for me. So I love the journal and Growth day because I can search it. Now. Search function just rolled out, like, two months ago. If you haven't seen it yet, thank God. Okay. So I look at it. I'm like, okay, great. And then only then if I go to my inbox or if I go to my schedule. But all that has to happen now. You don't have to do all that. People always ask me mine. What I do need you to do is that activation in the morning for what we showed you conceptually, right? There's physical movement, there's breath, there's unlocking posture and energy, and there's preparing your mind for the day however you want to do that. Some of you can do that in five minutes because you're like, Denise, she's ready to go, right? Other you. You might need more time. I believe most people need more time. Right. They need more time. There's no mindset routine in the morning. Especially as we. What we talked about yesterday, remember, I had you close your eyes for those who were yesterday, I had you close your eyes and imagine and think through and see and connect with that future you can you close your eyes real fast and think about that again, that future you, that joyful you, that beautiful you. But literally see and feel and sense that you smiling or strong or healthier or wiser. And if you would, with your eyes closed just one more time for yourself, reach out and give that you a high five. Just see yourself giving that future you a high five. And step into that future. You step into that, because that is you. You're already there. You just have to unlock. Feels good, right? Every day, something like that. And as we talked about yesterday, I know some people struggle to see that and to feel that, because maybe you felt a little caged or just comfortable for a little while or. Or maybe you feel like, no, but I've been charged. But you're also a little burned out. So we're gonna reconnect with that. Because there is something in you and you have to see that something in you every day. Otherwise you get disconnected in just reaction. Otherwise you get bored. And if you do those things, you'll tear it down. So I want you to connect to that and remember that there's something there. At some point. We've got to. If we're in any part of our lives and at any given time, many of us are in a different cage of life. You know, there's times when we're caged in a relationship or we feel like trapped in a certain career or a certain identity or just a certain way of living. And never, ever, ever, ever get mad at yourself or down on yourself. Everyone has been there. Can we all acknowledge that? We've all been there. Like, because if you can't acknowledge that you've been there, you're super there. I have to do this executives all the time. Well, I'm not me. No. I'm a high performer, Brandon. I'm like, you've never had any part of your life you felt trapped or you're doing the wrong thing or you felt lonely in it. You've never felt in that cage where, like, no one understands you and no, no, no, I'm perfect. I'm like, oh, perfect is the best cage. Perfect is like when you walk into an apartment and it's floor to ceiling windows, it's so clear and shiny, no obstruction. That's what the ego fools you into right. The ego thinks, oh, there's nothing wrong. I am perfect. And it's like, oh, well, maybe you're perfect as a soul, as a spirit, but you're mean to the person that drives through on Thursday. Like you were overreactive about something. Like, there's some parts of our life. And again, it doesn't mean your whole life is caged. I use that as a metaphor. But sometimes there's parts of our life, we got to grab it and we got to rattle it. Pick your hands up, squeeze them strong, and something in your life. Think about something in your life. Let's just rattle it. What is something we got to rattle? Your health. We got to rattle it. Squeeze a little harder. Breathe your finances. We got to rattle that bank a little bit. We got to do. Rattle that career, rattle that self discipline, rattle those relationships. Rattle like there's something. Rattle, rattle a little bit. If it's okay to rattle it, say, I'm here, I'm here, it's okay. But how do we shift out of that? What happens when we get comfortable and we're like, gosh, Brendan, you were talking about yesterday. Cause often I know when I talk about some of these things, the hardest part is for people to connect with and see who they are becoming and what that should feel like and sense and see. And the reason you can't. The reason you can't is about the topic we're going to take on today. Myself and two other speakers will help you in this area of what we might call identity or acceptance or self acceptance. The idea that you got to get cool with you again, that you got to start living into your best life again. And to do that, you have to change your perceptions a little bit. Because. Because sometimes the problem is you're seeing through a muddy window, you know, and that window is super muddy. And it's based on the filters that somebody gave you about life or the ones that you just developed because you got down on yourself over a period of time. So what I like to do is teach what I call the seven frames. And the seven frames are a way of understanding where our self perception of ourselves or the world or how we interpret things, our interpretations limit us. And as I talk, you'll immediately know them, you'll sense them, you'll see them. You're like, oh, okay, I got that. I've totally done that. So I don't have to belabor them. I think you'll get them. I think we can do the seven things in maybe like 30 minutes won't take too long. But I want you to stick with me because I know it's a lot of work in the morning, but I think if we can unlock a few things here, then when we get in, the rest of the day, we'll just glide. Okay? So if you throw up my slides, guys, we're talking about the dominant frames of self perception. If you've heard me ever talk about this in a private group. I have some groups I teach things in. I'd call these the seven frames. And the seven frames, again, are just about our self perception. So this is a good point to take some notes on. Okay. This means as we go throughout life, we look at things in a certain way. We look at them a certain way. Most people, they unconsciously look at them this way and they don't know that they're doing it. Once you know, the seven frames, now it's conscious. And I want you to write this down on a clean sheet of paper for yourself so that you can look at these. Every time something goes wrong in your life, you're gonna come back to the seven frames and going, how am I interpreting these things? Cause the way that you are interpreting the events of your life are shaping your identity. And if you interpret things in a strange or a way that does not serve you, it catches up in how you feel about yourself and how you connect with your future self and live into it. So let's talk through it. First frame is, you have either been built down or you've been built up. You've either been beat down or built up. Now, I'm going right there to the work today, friends, Right into it, right at it. Many of us, we had the things in our lives happen, and we chose that those things are things that are forever of consequence to us, that limit us. Right? You heard yesterday. I grew up in an environment where it was incredibly physical. Incredibly physical. Everybody in the neighborhood. I don't remember a single parent's friends when I grew up. As a small kid, I'd say from all the way up to about fourth grade, every one of my friend's parents hit me. All of them. Everybody. Everybody I knew got smacked all around by everybody growing up in that town that I grew up in. Large number of alcoholics. Old Irish mining town. Notice I said Irish and mining. So Irish blue collar, 100 years economically depressed up in the mountains. I mean, it's just a different world. And I don't in any way think that was. In any way do I think that today, nor by the time I was 20 and I chose to be a conscious person. Did I think that was a negative thing for. For me? Do I think that is right and wrong? That's a different question, isn't it? Let's hold here and process Things can be right and wrong. Someone hits you, someone mistreats you, someone steals from you, somebody does something inappropriate, someone takes advantage. You can be conscious and go, that's wrong. That should not happen. That. That is not. I was. In that moment, I was a victim to that thing. And that's okay. Everyone discovers that. Everyone. I was just with Matthew McConaughey and we were talking about this. Some things that happened to him as a child that he decided that he knew it was wrong, but it wasn't about him. Someone or something was happening was wrong. And that's what I'm talking about. I, I can go that being beat up as a kid, I was wrong. But I can also say that's not negative about me. Can anyone raise their hand and understand what I'm talking about? Yeah, well, the same things. Many of you feel beat down by the economy. You feel beat down by your parents, not even physically. You just feel like people talk down to you who has someone actively in your life. Today, they're talking down to you all the time, like condescending and mean. Look around the room. Raise a high so people can see it's totally. It happens. It's not right that they do that, but it also means there's nothing wrong with you. And so when you can understand that bad things can happen in the world, but they don't have to beat you down. In fact, they can build something up. It's like yesterday I saw my parents beat down by how poorly they were treated in their work environments and how it made my mom cry, my dad angry. And I went and I saw it myself. And I thought, that is terrible. But instead of thinking, oh, woe is us, and I'll never do it, it built up in me compassion. It built up in me the idea that I'd sure to love on the people around me. I sure to make. I want to make people feel welcome. I want to make people, no matter if they're different than me, they sound different, they look different, they're welcome. I'm excited about meeting new people. I'm not going to ostracize them or make fun of them because they sound different or look different. And I thought, oh, I'm going to be a person of honor because I saw my dad was a person of honor. And you Know what? So even the negative things I witnessed, I said, that's going to build up something. So what's something negative you're going through right now that might be building you up for something? What's something you're going through? You're like, man, this sucks. But there is something that is building. It's building. I always tell people, I go, no matter what's going through, it might be, and I don't know if it's true, but maybe it's building up some type of value within you. Values like, you know, love, truth, temperance, integrity, respect, responsibility, compassion, understanding, unity. What, what is it for you? Is it building up a, a desire for fairness? Like, nice hat. I love that one. I don't even have that one, man. They're outside. Oh, they're outside. Okay, I gotta get one of them. Okay, I'll get that. That's a nice one. I like that one. I ain't got that one. What is that thing that is building up for you? Something that's, that's getting there. It's building up. It's building up. I, I think this is the central thing right now. So many people feel beat down by their boss, beat down by the hours, beat down by the time, beat down even by the obligations you set up in your own life. Successful people. What, what? Maybe it's building you up, right? When we're at the sports team, so many times they feel beat down by practice. By the time I show up, practices feel like it's an obligation, like they're beating. They forgot that. No, no, no. This time is building this up into a world class team. Let's get energized again. This is building us up into a world class team. This is building us up into a world class team. This is building us up into world class time. You got to do the reps. It's building up the biceps. You know what I'm saying? You got to do the reps. It's building it up. You're building it up. Something is positive is going to come from this. Only because you choose. Everyone say it with me. Only because I choose. Raise your hand. Only because I choose. Yeah. Only because you choose the conditions or the environment or the situation. It may or may not be true. It may or may not happen for you. You're going to activate it. You're going to choose it. It's going to be a perception and a choice, right? Those things, how you perceive and how you choose to proceed, how you perceive and how you choose to proceed is defining your Identity. Every time, every moment, every shift, every change. Every time, every moment, every shift, every time, every time I look at it, and this is not any of those things. Oh, I've just build myself up when I suck. Oh, no. I can, I can look at the truth that I'm not good at a lot of things. And I can choose in those moments. I can choose in those moments to go, I failed there. I didn't do a good job. I wasn't right. I gotta learn this lesson. Okay, good. Learn the lesson, integrate the lesson. Integrate the value, do better next time, proceed right. But notice some people have perception and they never proceed. Why did this happen to me? Why did this happen to me? This is wrong. This is bad. This is awful. This is terrible. I'm awful. I'm bad, I'm awful. I'm terrible. And they stay stuck. And then they get resigned to even engaging in the world. And then they get bitter and then they think they're all alone. And then they have that weird, alone, angry, judgmental thing. So be careful if something's going on. This is why it's so important. If you don't have a coach or if you don't have a therapist or you don't have a friend to talk things through, to move it through. Cause see, between perception and proceeding, sometimes right in the middle, you gotta take time to process it. You gotta think through it, you gotta talk it out. Many people, they don't process their life's events until they're 50, 60, 70, 80 years old. And they start wondering, there's something about age and wisdom and maturity. You start wondering about the development of self much more than you do when you're younger. So this is an important one. And it is also something for you to claim. Today it's a shift. Today it's a shift in this moment. Have I been beat down or have I been built up? Mm hmm. Because if I've been beat down, there's a way I stand. I've been built up. There's a way I feel right? There's a way I feel all right. You're building up for something right now. Whatever's going on in your life, you're building up. You didn't know it. If I didn't go through all the things I went through, just like Ed, Ed says, you know, his great blessing was he was the son of an alcoholic. Remember that yesterday? That was his. He said that's his blessing. He didn't know he was being built up to learn how to read people. When his dad Couldn't get the key in the door when he was drunk. But learning to observe his father made him acute communicator to understand how people interact and move. And because he can read people, he's got one of the world's best podcasts right now because he can read his guests in a different way. And you can see how he looks at him. And it's world class. So who knew? Who knew? And this doesn't mean, again, anything that happened was right or wrong. What it means is now you have a different choice. And at some point you go, I'm building up. Everyone say, I'm building up. I'm building up. I'm gonna ask you to invite you to do something so silly. In a moment, I'll ask you to close your eyes, and then I just want you to tap on your heart and just repeat yourself. I'm building up. Three times out loud. I'm building up. I'm building up. I'm building up. You feel it on your heart. I'm building up. I'm building up. I'm building up. That's what you got to do next. We are either an identity, a person who is in reaction. I am a reactive person, or I am an intentional person. The day that I became an intentional person for me was the car accident when I learned that Live Love Matter was going to become something in my life. I'm going to guide my life based on these three words every day. I see everything through these three lenses. Live Love Matter. It's just how I see things. So I'm intentional going into the day to make sure I do these things. And at some point, at some point, I tell people all the time, oh, I forgot to tell you. You know all the misery you feel in life sometimes. Well, Mike Watch says it's like 10:20 in the morning right now on day two. Well, by 10:20 in the morning on day two, most that misery you feel in life, we just covered it in two points. Most of that misery we feel in life is because we feel like the world is against us and we're being beaten down, not trained up and built up. And we feel always in reaction mode. Right? If you feel always in reaction mode, you wake up and you check in the DMs and the VMs and you're immediately into your inbox. And I always tell people, like, listen, people who do that, they have no idea the misery they're causing in their life. Like, you jump up and you immediately answer your email. You're not even awake. You're still in a weird consciousness in the morning, and you're putting the screen in front of you. Judgment, comparison, reaction. Judgment, comparison, reaction. No wonder you look like this all day. Like, because you woke up, like, and then you go out to the kids and you. And you go to work, you're like. And then you had that dream and you're like, ah. And you're like, why am I not doing anything? Because you woke up in the morning. You trained your brain. You're freaking yourself out. The misery is coming from too much reaction and. And too little intention, right? The more you feel like you're just on the defense in life all the time, the more miserable it feels. Cause you never feel like you're winning. You're just always defending, defending, defending, defending, Fighting next fire. Fighting the next fire. Fighting next fire. And this includes the successful people. Don't be fooling yourself. You set yourself up for a life of reaction when you set yourself up for overwork. Highly successful people, no boundaries, overwork, burnout. And they think they're so strategic. I'm like, you haven't been strategic in five years of your life. You've been fighting fires, and that's why you don't feel like you're winning. That's why it feels like your business is a slog. That's why you feel like, what the hell is going on? I don't understand. This sucks. I'm backing off. I'm gonna blow it up. Screw those people. No one understands. And you're back in the cage. Anyone follow this? Is this too heavy for the morning? You like this? If you like it, say, keep going. I need the encouragement sometimes, too. I don't know, maybe it's just in my head, but I think this stuff is important. I think. I think sometimes, yeah, I think sometimes what we do is we get so caught up into building more and more and more and more into our life, we didn't realize we just built a life of reaction, not intentional. And if we're always in reaction, always on defense, we can't win. No teams win only playing defense. Even the best defenses in the world cannot win without the offensive line. You still have to have offense. And intention is offense. Intention is offense. Oh, I'm going to play this way. I'm going to play this way. This is the play today. This is what I'm doing today. This is the routine today. Here we go. I'm in it. Everyone say, I'm here. I'm ready. I go in strength. Woo. That's different. That's different. I love showing up in people's life and just seeing how they do lunch or how they talk to each other, how they move through the world. And some people, you know what, that's their time to rest and recharge, you know, and so they're just chilling. I'm good at chilling. I'm from Montana. I'm the best at chilling. I'm so good at chilling. Oh, my God, give me a beach and a pina colada. I can chill till sunset, baby. I can chill. I have no problem. Never like how, Brendan, you're so busy. You have all these companies and you've done all these things, and, oh, my gosh, you must never relax. And I go, that's an interesting frame. So you think successful people never relax. Do you think in any way that has prevented your brain from wanting to succeed? It's just like a lot of people stay of a mind of lack because when they see wealthy people or they see abundant mindedness, what they say is, oh, well, those wealthy people, you know what they got to do, I think, to become wealthy, you know what? They had to cheat, they had to steal. They had to treat people bad, they had to run over people. I would never do that. And what you're saying is, I will never become wealthy. You're training your brain the, oh, I don't want those negative effects of that thing. So I don't want the thing. So why even try? And you intellectually convince yourself not to have more abundance for your family and the next generation and their children. And their children. That's what we do. We tell ourselves stories. Oh, to have the next level of success, that would be terrible. I would be burned out and everything. I'm like, oh, no, no. The only people who feel like that is the people who have at this current level of success, wrecked their life because they didn't know how to do it yet. If you don't know how to do it yet, that next level is so terrifying because you're like, I can't even handle this one. If I can't even handle earning six figures as an entrepreneur, how could I earn seven? How could I earn eight? If I can't handle managing three people, how could I manage 10? And so you say, well, people who manage 10 people are stupid. They don't understand they could have freedom as you're drowning in your own overwork. So we do. We set these judgments against things. Again, it's all perception though, isn't it? It's all just a choice. It's a perception. I Want to let you know, though, that what successful people are doing as they want more aliveness, connection, meaning, and growth, they're just leading the day with so much more intention. Their intention, it's offense. They're more assertive into the world than reactive, to use another word. Because sometimes people think intention's too soft. I'm like, oh, no, intention is offense. Intention is assertiveness, right? I assert myself in the world. And if that's too strong or too motivational for you. For all the academics and the psychologists in the rooms, we're talking about personal agency. People with higher levels of personal agency over a period of time are very clearly happier, are very clearly healthier in terms of their overall mental health in every measure, from confidence to resilience. And soon as you understand that, you're like, oh, okay, me being on offense or in assertiveness or in personal agency, or, I just like the word intention much better. I like the vibe of it, right? Then it's very different. I need more days intentional for you. More days intentional. That's how you get to feel the day again. It's hard to feel the day when you're just on defense. When you're in offense and you assert yourself in the world, you're like, I felt that one, that game. I felt it. I didn't win every play, but at least I chose a few plays. Can I get an amen on a Friday? You're like, oh, that's different. Third idea, your identity is being shaped on whether or not you avoid or approach. Whether when difficulty, specifically when difficulty strikes, do you avoid or do you approach? This is very similar to playing offense, but slightly different, because many people, there's a difficult thing happening in their life, a difficult conversation you have to have with your partner, your spouse, somebody at work, and you're avoiding that conversation. And you're avoiding the conversation' cause it'll be difficult. And because you like the comforter, you like the comfort, the comfortable life, you like the comfort of the moment or that relationship or how you feel. You don't want to deal with the drama they'll bring up when you bring it up, often because again, you don't know how to bring it up. It's a skill set, right? You just haven't learned that practice yet. Everything comes back to skill set. Everything comes back to practices. And you just never blame the person or the situation or the challenge or the problem. Always ask, did they have the skill set there yet? Have they learned and honed that and practiced that? And if they haven't let's work on that and we can solve that. Most marital problems, for example, can be solved by communications training, which sounds so crazy. It just happens to be research. True, Just most people never learn how to talk, talk through difficulty. Well, we choose avoidance for the short term comfort. The problem with avoidance is it actually works. You get the short term comfort, but you also, when you choose avoidance, you also choose long term pain. The longer you fail to address it, it gets worse. The longer you fail to address your health, your, your weight, it gets worse. The longer you choose to face that difficult thing in the conversation or in the relationship, the worse the relationship gets. It's like, either you have an identity of like, I'm gonna engage, I'm gonna approach this, I'm gonna deal and I'm gonna deal with it quickly. Right? You're solution minded. You're in the game, you're on offense, you're in assertiveness. The more you will feel like you have a handle on life, your hands are on the steering wheel again. Otherwise you're feeling victim over and over and over and over. And listen, I just want you to understand this because today we're talking about your identity. The more that you avoid and the more that you're on defense, the more your identity moves into victim mode and you feel defeated. Because even if you win defense, you're never getting into the goal line. Write that one down. Even if you win on defense, you're never getting to the goal line. And so your identity doesn't integrate any wins, there's no touchdowns, you didn't make the play to win. And so what you feel like is defeated, discouraged, shut down. And by the way, I don't make that bad. I just want you to know it's a perception and it's a choice in identity. And I want you to proceed in a different way. I want you to start approaching the stuff of life earlier. Earlier, like early. Like, I am here. Literally the only reason I was like, how did he get this room? How does he do all this? And like, oh, I, I saw in my career everything was shifting towards video. And I was like, oh, I'm gonna learn how to do video. I'm gonna teach myself. I'll tell you that story tomorrow. But I was like, I'm gonna teach myself to do video. Okay. I have no idea how to do that. I've never done anything with a video camera. I've never owned a video camera. I don't know how to upload the video into the computer. I don't Know how to edit it. I don't know how to get it online. I'm like, but look, I'm online and this is happening. I'm gonna go forward to it. I'm just gonna go right into it. Did the same. I've been doing the same thing with AI for three years. And I followed and learned from other mentors. Like, Bezos saw, like, wow, people are ordering stuff online. It's growing by like 13,000%. I should get here. Like, approach it earlier. Doesn't mean you need to be an early adopter and everything. You just need to be real about what's happening in your career, your industry, or your relationship or your health. You can't avoid it for so long. And the longer you avoid it, the worse it gets. Other idea. You can proceed in fear or in faith. You are a person and you are coming from one of the two. You are entering every situation from one of the two, every situation. I'm gonna enter this situation in a place of faith, and I'm gonna trust that it's gonna work out just as it needs to. Or I'm terrified. I don't know how it's going to go. And people don't understand how binary that conversation is in your brain. And I'm just somebody. I'm so proud that a long time ago I said, you know what? Fear is so much to me, you know what fear is outside of physical threat. Physical threat is real. Okay, physical threat is real. But outside of physical fear, threat of safety, right outside of physical fear. Most fear is just poor management of the mind. Write it down. Most fear is just poor management of the mind. I am not utilizing this brain to see this in a positive, confident, faithful light. And soon as I can use this brain to see this and write this down in a positive, confident, faithful light. I do that to myself. Anytime I feel worry or fear, and trust me, I feel it. Emotions are automatic. They're from the body. Often they're impulsive, unregulated. They happen immediately. They're in, and often they're out. Most research shows an emotion rises and it's gone and dissipated within two minutes, but you feel it. So I feel it. And I don't choose to hang onto it and grab it and hug it and claim it and say, that's me. And some of you did that with fear. You got scared a few times in your life and you grabbed it and you held onto it too long and you integrate it. And now it's you. And you say, I'm just afraid. All the time. I am just afraid all the time. Be careful of putting a negative statement after the word I am. You put a negative statement after I am. You are building a negative personality. In spiritual texts, we would also say that you are also offending the divine, because I am is how God claimed himself. I am that I am. So you say I am, and you put something negative behind it that's offending you, and that is defending something bigger than you. At least that's how it spirituality people would say. And so I want you to be attentive to that. I'm just afraid. I'm an afraid person. I'm always afraid. No, you're not. You're managing this bad. Remember, there's a difference between practices and personhood. Many of you guys know, like, the motivation manifesto, you know, we've given that to prisons all over the country. And I would love if any of you could help us give it around the world. Thank you. Yeah. And I remember the first time I was in lockup, and I was like, like trying to work through this concept a little bit. And it was really hard because people take the identity that they're terrible. Right? I am this terrible person. No, no, no. You did something really bad. Right? There's a practice. There's just like many of you, you're like, I'm terrible in my relationships. No, you don't have any practices, skill sets of how to be great in relationships. I'm terrible at friendship. I have no friends. No, you have no friendship skills yet. It's skillset. It's practices. Well, I think that we have to realize that this fear that we all think fear is this big thing. And I always go, oh, no, no, really, you just have to choose. Okay, I am going to proceed now and see this in a positive light, in a confident light, in a faithful light. It's kind of like that, just intention. You have to set up, to enter it and to trust the process and. And to flow with it a little bit more. And to know nothing has to be perfectly architected. It just has to be in motion. And when you realize the world and the universe works like that, it's beautiful, right? It's beautiful. There is nothing you see in nature that is perfectly architected. It's just in motion and it's happening and it's growing. And when it's growing, sometimes it's ugly. You ever see a flower grow? It's super ugly, right? Comes out looks like this in the ground, Right. Sometimes the thing, the bulbs are facing down. You're like, it's squirreled up and around. You're like, what's going on? Then all of a sudden, bam. It's like a. Like, oh, wow, that's amazing. It's that ugly caterpillar into that beautiful butterfly. It's a process. Nothing in the middle of the process looks that great. And so you just have to say, oh, I'm gonna go engage this process positively confidently with faith that it'll turn out just as it needs to turn out. I would tell you that will give you superpower. That will give you. Everyone's like, how are you so relaxed, Brendan? I'm like, oh, I chose an identity that isn't fear based, that's faith based. And I, again, I'll acknowledge in this room, not a lot of people in this room have religion. Not a lot of people in this room are of a spiritual, you know, background or upbringing or spirituality is not a high value for them, or they might not feel a connection to energy, universe, divine God, whatever it is. So I get that. I always. I go, I know that's a unique thing to me. But even when I'm saying faith, you understand? I'm not saying faith in God. Only when I'm saying faith, it's trust that things will turn out well, that you have faith, you believe, you believe that it's going to be okay. Could you imagine entering the day that way? See, I work with some of you guys. Know, I had the blessing of working with a lot of monks. And a funny story was one time I was working with a very stressed monk, very stressed, and he'd been called to another level of service, and I mean, really high level of service, and was very stressed about the situation. And I was observing it and it was. It's this funny story, but what I noticed was you can have someone meditate and you can have somebody learn all the skills of life, but if they don't enter the situation faithfully, all the breathing activities and all the meditation won't do it. It's a frame of reference of life. If your dominant frame is, this is gonna turn out just great. I'm gonna engage it right? Cause notice where I'm teaching this. If you put that slide back up for me, you'll notice where I'm teaching it. There's a reason I'm teaching it here. If I know that things are building me up, if I know that I'm intentional, I'm on offense here. I'm approach the situation, I'm gonna approach it faithfully, it's gonna turn out well. If I can do all these things, that's why it looks so graceful. That's why it looks like he's glid. It's why it looks she or he has no cares in the world. Oh, they do. They just didn't freak themselves out in advance. Raise your hand if I'm saying, okay, so now you're going to close your eyes one more time with me and you're going to do the thing on the heart again. And you're going to say to yourself, I am going to stop freaking myself out. I am going to stop freaking myself out. I am going to stop freaking myself out. Open your eyes. Remember, fear is mostly poor management of your mind. And you must stop having fear as a frame. When you anticipate things are going to cause fear. When you fearfully see something you will not approach, you will avoid. And as you fearfully see something. I'm so scared to get up on stage. No, trust, when you get up there, you will serve two different things. Fear, fear, fear, fear, fear. Back, back, back, back, back. And you wonder, why did five years go by and I've been so timid? Because you saw fear in advance, not faith in advance. Right? Those who are of spirit or of biblical training. You know it. He precedes you. Oh, that's one of my favorite lines. I was like, oh, he precedes me, right? I was like, wait, wait, there's goodness and planning in advance. Oh, let me walk right in that stream. That's a lot easier than right. I was like, oh, okay, there's something precedes me. Okay, I like that idea. I don't know. And even if you don't like that idea, you know, from a biblical nature, think about that faith and that trust of the caterpillar. Trusting in the process of nature, trusting in evolution. That, that when I go in and I hunker down and I trust in process, I'm going to come out better. What an unbelievable act of faith. To go from the wanderer to enclosing, trusting and focusing so that I can bloom. That's faith. That's a big trust. I'm going to enclose myself. I'm going to go into my room and I'm going to write this book. Not knowing what's going to go on out there. I'm going to trust that this thing's going to come out. Could you imagine the faith in that? Could you imagine? I hope you can, God, I hope you can. I really do. I hope you can. All right, I love this one. Mimicry or Mastery. I love this one. Are you going to copy everybody else? And that's your identity Just going to follow. I'm just going to do what everyone else does to get by to be comfortable. Most people, they don't know it, but because their mirror neurons are so strong throughout their youth, they're mirroring everybody else around them. They're mimicking the kids around them, the peers around them, the adults around them. They don't know they're taking on so much of that that they end up a 50 year old who don't know themselves yet because they haven't done what you've done. So I really acknowledge you again for engaging in growth day, for being in a personal development environment, for wanting those growth loops of change, for like being part of this is a big deal, guys. Like, you're doing the work because notice I haven't asked you. I tell you what I'm doing, but I'm teaching concepts here and I'm teaching strategies here. So you find it and you make it in your own life. It's my style of teaching. I'll share some of my own stories, but most of it's like I'm trying to put it the concept or the value or the open the door or the gate and you're choosing it. It's trying to know how I'm gonna teach. So I'm not the guru guy of like, be like Brendan. I'm like, no, no, here's the concept, here's the strategy, run with it. What's it mean for you? What's it mean for you? What's it mean for you? And in this way, I want you to develop your own mastery. When you read Motivation Manifesto, which we handed out to you today, when you read that book, you're like, oh, okay, I gotta take back my life. There's nothing in Motivation Manifesto that's about me. There's not one single story about me in that book. There's not one single story, almost no reference of I. It's all reference of us as humans and you and your choices. You. That was really important to me because I want you to develop your own self mastery. When you master yourself, when you regulate yourself, when you choose your own path. It's like so many more days of winning. So many more days. So many more days you feel the day because that was authentically you. I had, you know how many conferences I went to, how many personal development seminars and I'd watch the speaker and I was like, oh, I love when they stand and they do that thing But I'd stand and I do that thing. I'm like, I don't really feel like that, you know? And then they would tell me, well, you should be more like this guy or that gal. When you're on stage, you should do it like them or you should play the music like that or you should do this. And I was like, yeah, that doesn't really feel like me. You know, you should try this. You should dress like that or do this. And I was like, I just. It doesn't. It's not really me. I don't. It wouldn't be my thing. And so choosing my own path along the way was important, right? Lots of people, I get speaker coaches who attend my events all the time. They leave and they're like, brendan, you cannot enter the stage like that. You're losing so much credibility immediately. And I'm like, that's probably true, but I like it. Everyone say this phrase. I want you to think of somebody who has been too judgmental on you, right? They're labeling you, even to being condescending to you. I want you to say this with me. That's probably true, but I like it. That's personal agency that's taking back. It's like, okay, I can acknowledge that you're probably right, but I like it. And soon as you own that, you own your identity. That simple phrase will change your life. It's probably true, but I like it. It's taking it back. It's taking it. You got to build the life you like. You got to build the life you love. You got to build a life that's authentic. Authentic and true and masterful for you. And I was like, I'm going to master my own thing. When I do it, I'm going to do it my way. When I do it, I'm going to do it my way. I'm going to figure out what's unique to me. Not because my ego says it has to be my way. It's not a control thing. It's actually, as you will find out in Motivation Manifesto, a freedom thing. It's not a control thing. I have to have it my way. People have to have it their way, and it must be their way. Usually that's from the ego. And they're in the cage. They're scared of change. They're scared of variability. But people who say, I need it my way, and they build a life their way, now they're Sinatra, baby. They're singing that sexy stuff, you know, Freedom. There's something there which leads me to this idea. We are going to choose our lives to take or to give. And when we choose to give, the most important thing you will ever give in your life is giving of your authentic self to others. That is the most important thing. When I put this slide up, some people, oh, taker gave. Yeah. Givers and takers. I'm like, yeah, yeah. Most people don't understand that because they think that a taker and a giver means a giver is a generous person writing philanthropic checks. I'm like, oh, no. Giving is giving of your authentic, real energy. Giving of your real self. When you give of your real self, let me tell you what that is. Sexy. Let me tell you what when you give of your real self, that's connection, that's friendship, that's love. That's the breakthrough in your career. When you're trying to be like everybody else on video or try to be everybody else on podcast, trying to be everybody else, like, in the way you dress, trying to be like everybody else where you grew up, trying to be like everybody else at the end of your life, you know what you are. What are you at the end of your life? Exhausted. When I meet people and I talk to them and, I mean, I work as, you know, with some, just. I can't even believe the people I get to work with sometimes. But they struggle, just like we all do. And I even hate when I describe it, I work with people who are like this because they're just like us. Can we all get that? We all got that right. The ultra successful, they're just like us. The person to your left or right, turn to person, shake and say, you look pretty good, just like us. The people in my ultra groups, the people who are ultra successful, my ultra clients, whatever you call, they're just like us, trying to get back on their vibe. Y' all got me. They're trying to get their aliveness, their connection and their meaning back. And the greatest thing I can teach them is, oh, you're exhausted. Many of them just so tired. I go, you're so tired because you're trying to please everybody else. See, we don't understand that mimicry doesn't just mean you copy other people's style. Mimicry also means you design your life to please everybody else's expectations and needs. It means you're living your life copying from other people's playbooks. And when everybody else is giving you the expectation, the demand, and you're only. You're running your company based on the employees versus you. Now you're in trouble because you're going to become the CEO of something you don't want to be. And when I work with CEOs, often I'm like, is this what you want it to be like? Like how you would want it to be? Oh, no, man, I got this and this and there's HR and there's finance and there's this guy and this guy and this guy. And I'm like, yeah, but who's the boss? When did you give them your title of CEO? When did you give them title of owner? When did you give them title of boss of you? When did that happen for you? Was that first year, second year, third year, fourth year, fifth year? What are we talking about here? And I'll smack my arms on the table and I'll be dramatic with them to get the same concept I'm trying to get to is like, listen, you want to give back, you want to lead here, you got to give you again in this company. You haven't given you in this company in five years. You haven't given you in this marriage in five years. I mean, you free, alive, connected you here, alive. Close your eyes real fast. I want you to tap into that. What if it was that energy again? What was that energy? What was that? What did that label you give? In fact, as you do that, if you put your stuff down and stand up, let's just kind of tap in real fast. I want you to label that. Don't leave, don't move. Just kind of close your eyes. What's the label again? I just want you to connect to that. Take a nice deep breath in. Eyes closed. What's the label of that? What was that called? What was that thing? And I want you to just, without even moving, without doing anything wild, I want you to embody that label of that energy again. Just cause I wanna see if you can choose to speed up your mind. Maybe you see lots of different colors or fireworks or something energizing. Your brain is going like Einstein now. You know, it's like bam, you're on. You just stood up, you're not even jumping. Just like bam, your brain is back on. It's amazing. And you got this energy and you got this energy and you're going to give that energy a name again. You know what that energy name is? And I just want you to give that out into the world. Imagine you're projecting that energy out into the world. So when I ask for it, I just want you to shout that name like you're embodying that energy. And you're bo. Not just doing it for you. Imagine giving that energy to the world. Giving it to the world. Not taking energy from others. Giving it your authentic energy. Right. I want you to give whatever that label is that you gave that energy. I want you to shout it on three, not just for you, but as if you're giving it to the persons in the front row. Like you're throwing it all the way up to the stage, all the way beyond stage. And you're gonna give that energy. When you shout out with serving so much energy, you're gonna give that name, that energy. You're gonna give that to Austin, Texas. That's how big that's. You're gonna shout right beyond the stage. On three. One, two, three, go. One, two, three. One, two, three. All right, that's good. Give yourselves a round of applause. Yeah. Okay, so you understand, back to the slides. You can stay standing for a minute. Just stay standing. When you go back to these slides and I talk about giving and taking, you're giving energy, you're giving energy. You're giving energy because the power plant doesn't have energy. It. Yeah, that's what we're talking about here. We're talking about a different level of experience. See my identity? And that's what today's about. It's about you. It's like, about finding you, accepting you, building you up, not being beaten down anymore. It's a different change. It's a shift. It's a big shift. If it's a big shift for you, say I'm here. Say I'm ready. Say I go in strength. Yeah. When we get there, something's happening. Something's happening. And let me give you this last idea as you're standing, that what is happening then? When all these things come together, you start to notice something in your life. You're not forcing it anymore. You're flowing because you're flowing in to giving that energy. You're flowing into that self mastery. You're flowing into faith and trust. You're approaching things because you know they'll turn out well. You're approaching things because you're on offense. You're on offense because you know no matter what's going to happen, whether it goes well or not, you're just going to build yourself back up again, right? If all of these things come together, these seven frames, they come together, right? This last piece happens, you don't feel like you're forcing it. Everyone's going, aren't you exhausted? I'm like, man, I'm Flowing. Don't you ever get burned out? I'm flowing. Don't you ever get tired? I'm flowing. Isn't that hard? Isn't that stressful? Isn't that scary? I'm flowing. You watch me. You hang out with me. I'm just flowing in every situation. Graceful, taking it on. Prepared or not prepared, I'm just going to flip. Flow right in there. You see me move on stage. There's no forcing up here. It's just flowing right across. Even my body hurts. Even after this many days. Doesn't matter. Just flowing. That's. That's the identity. Yeah. I want you to get back into that beautiful place of your life. Not like me, like you. That energy, that flow. It's why I didn't give you the name of the energy. I want you to name the energy. So I'm not telling you the practices. I'm describing a skill set, but I want you to build it for yourself. I want you to get there. Hey, it's Brendan. I just want to thank you for watching my channel. There's so many other teachings and trainings on this channel, so please enjoy. Thanks for being here. Also, for those who want to go to another level, I have an upcoming Certified High Performance Coach Certification week. This is where I teach you and certify you to become a world class life coach. We call them Certified High Performance Coaches. You can click the link in the description right now to to apply and to learn about our upcoming certification week. If you want to go to another level as a life coach and you want me to certify you and help you, make sure you click that link and take advantage of it right now. Enrollment is open today.