I Risked Everything… And It Changed My Life Forever

I realized there was a big problem. It was like, hard to explain to people what I wanted to do. I don't just want to write books. I don't want to just be a speaker. I want to be coaching people. And I'm doing this online video thing and writing these newsletters and blogging and sending out video. This was new. This was very different back then. And what I realized was there was no roadmap. If the roadmap isn't there. Welcome to your new era of leadership. I want to share with you today a little bit of a story that I usually don't get to share and complete on stage about one of the most important areas of progress in my life, one of the most important struggles, one of the most important crises, one of the most important turning points in my life. Those came at different times in my life of relationship or partnership. And I'd love to tell you about those inside stories that help kind of make my life so much better. When I left my corporate job to write this book that became life's golden ticket, you know, it was, it was like a long time of struggle. Living on friends floors, moving in with my then girlfriend, watching her sleep under the weight of my bills as I'm going into bankruptcy, having the breakthrough with what it took to get that book out and to launch that book. It was interesting because during that time as I'm living with my girlfriend, you know, she's paying for all the groceries, she's cheering me on, she's watching me shoot these videos in her kitchen. Back in a time, no one was shooting videos there. There was not like vlogs, there was not like video courses yet. No one was live streaming just yet. Certainly not any, any given scale. Remember this is pre Facebook. And so I'm in this place where this amazing woman is, you know, watching me film from a flip video camera duct taped to a box in her kitchen. I've got all these IKEA lamps like, like tilted down, lighting my face because we have no lighting. And I was terrible. I was really, really. If you think I'm bad now on video, which I am, I was really bad then. It was like embarrassing, awful. And yet she's like cheering it on and she's laughing and making fun of me as I'm going. But for somehow I want, I want you to hear this. I was lucky to then at that moment fall in love with a woman who never doubted me or guilted me for working on my dream. She saw it as a character trait that someone who works on their Dreams, who stays in progress on the path toward their highest aspirations. That's character, right? Today, sometimes people judge you and they think you're crazy. So in other words, they think something's wrong with you. Like there's a character flaw. Like, why do you believe this crazy idea? Are you crazy? Instead, for her, somehow it was like, well, obvious. You want to write, you should write. You want to speak, you should speak. You want to teach on the Internet, as it's, you know, as it's a possibility, then do that. She believed and supported the passions, and it's one reason I fell in love with her. And during this time, I'm moved in with her, of course, her family, I'm sure my family. I'm sure my. A lot of our friends together, they're kind of, you know, wondering, like, who is this guy? You know, he's. He's. He's. He's kind of living, and she's taking care of him, and is this going to work out? He could go get a job. Why did he quit his job? Is he crazy? Some of them supported, of course, but also, everyone was waiting to see. Everyone was in a moment waiting to see. And that's a hard time in progress mode when you're in the process, when you're starting from scratch, no one knows yet. Some people believe, some people don't. I got rejected all the time. But for some reason she believes, and I'm in progress mode, and people are wondering about it. And it's. It's a. It's like one of those things, oh, let's see if this book turns out. Let's see if life's golden ticket sells at all. And, you know, maybe if the book turns out and maybe he gets booked more and maybe the dream takes off, well, maybe then he'll have made it and, you know, he'll propose and they'll have this, you know, movie ending of a wedding kind of thing, right? It's like you fight, you struggle, you're through bankruptcy, Somebody stays with you, they believe in you, and then you have this big outcome and you get married. I knew people were thinking that way. I had some friends saying that, oh, hey, if the book takes off, are you going to propose? Are you guys going to get married? And I decided, you know, I don't want to wait till the book comes out to propose to her. I don't want this to be a conditional marriage of like, hey, if I make it in my career, then it's okay to tell her I love her. So I decided to Propose to her before life's golden ticket came out. Before, like the quote, unquote achievement had to happen that everyone was hoping could happen. And so, you know, I had decided that at a new year getaway with a bunch of my friends, I was going to propose to her. And I actually had this, like, very, you know, simple ring that I was going to have delivered there. And I propose to Denise, the girl who took me into the apartment, paid for my groceries, cheered me on, the girl who I saw sleep under the weight of my bills and my bankruptcy papers. The person who just believed in me when I said, I'm going to speak to arenas of people, I'm going to write bestselling books, I'm going to coach other people. When she saw me reading all these books in psychology and performance, she saw me having a leadership career before she knew I had a grad degree. She knew there were some indications there that I had some competency, but I had no progress, really, in a big step change in this new, you know, new career. But she believed. So in Montana, I proposed to Denise. And I just remember it felt like this great completion of a moment in my life because, you know, she was so excited, and I felt like it was a new beginning. Have you ever. Have you ever had that. That feeling of a new beginning? Maybe it's a new relationship, maybe it's a new job, but it feels like the whole world is going to change for you. This is a new moment. The book's about to come out. It was very fresh, is very exciting, is very, like, exhilarating, and it was also overwhelming all at once. Have you ever had those new seasons of your life? I want to say something to you. I want you to listen and not feel offended as I say this as a coach, if you haven't felt that new season in decades, it's time to make one. If you haven't had that freshness, that new feeling that you're about to start a new journey, it's time to do that. I'm not saying you got to throw away your old spouse and get a new spouse. We're not talking about throw away the job, get a new job, quit this revenue stream, start that. I'm not talking about that. I'm just saying there should be moments, and a lot of them in your life, seasons in your life, where a new feeling, a new beginning, a new you starts because you're going to make some bold moves, you're going to make some bold commitments. Those cannot be just accidental in life because if they're accidental in life, it only means you're living a life that's in two styles. You're living either a life that's just reaction mode all the time, not progress mode, or you're in iteration mode. Like small, tiny steps, you know, consistent discipline. That's also important, right? We're always going to have some level of reaction and we're going to have some level of consistency. Discipline, iteration, small improvement. But there should also be a mark or seasons of your life in which it feels like you're entering a new era because you chose to, because you committed to something. Hey guys, it's Brandon. I'm jumping in here real quick. First, I want to make sure you've gone to progressmode.com to join the newsletter because I have a resource for you related to this episode and I have an upcoming meetup with my private group, Ultra. If you've ever liked to be in a private group with me where I help you get more progress towards your passion projects or to build your business or your brand in a bigger way, just go to progressmode.com, click on Private Group to apply to see you can get into Ultra and we can take it to the next level by getting in person and meeting up virtually once a month online as well. Just go to progressmode.com See, my story began as a heartbroken kid, and there I was now proposing. I know for many of you when you got married, that was a big commitment. You were excited, but you're also a little scary. Like, wow, I'm dedicating life to somebody. You know, that's a new day, that's a new beginning. Some of you, you had a child and you could see that was going to be a new era of your life. Like things were going to be completely different. They would never be the same. Maybe you moved to a new city and you just feel like a freshness in your own. Your personality got refreshed when you moved to a new town. You thought, this is a new beginning for me. I want to say to you directly ear in progress mode that that should not all be accidental. That as you seek to live a great life and as you are an aspirational path to building something that you really care about, a whole and amazing and extraordinary life. You have to have those moments and you have to create them. You know, I had to make a decision to go from this to that. There's always that beginning picture and the after picture, and every month there's a beginning month and the after of the month and you can have progress every single month of your life. And I'm trying to put you in that conscious mode, but also that, that ambitious and that aspirational mode. Maybe this is a new season for you. What decision would you have to make for this to be a new season for you here? I'm trying to have a sit down conversation with you. This is a different season for me right now. I don't know how it's going to go. And I want you to know I made that conscious choice to have a new season. I didn't need to right my old work and the things I've done previously, they're working great. But sometimes you refresh yourself. Does that make sense? You actually choose a little bit of the overwhelm to refresh yourself, to level up yourself, to take yourself to a next level, a next stage, a next era. You make that decision. That's real progress mode. What commitment would you have to make to get there? I wanted to take that relationship to the next level of progress. So I proposed to the girl who believed in me. And we were so young, you know, we were late 20s and just, you know, so young. I look back at the time, I think, wow, we really, I can't believe we did that. I can't believe she believed in me when she was sleeping under my bills. I can't believe, you know, afterwards, you know, when it seemed like life's going ticket was going to happen and a trajectory was going to happen and things were going to go good, that I just decided to commit. You know, the world doesn't need another set of half interested or half hearted couples. The world doesn't need more half hearted parents. The world doesn't need more half hearted leaders. Nothing great in your life is going to happen when you're half hearted. You're going to make a real commitment to something. You're going to get clarity towards something and you're going to move with courage towards something that might be unknown but you know, it's the right next season or step of your life. And that will be bold, that will be different. That's progress mode. Because in progress we don't measure just direction of velocity, we also measure magnitude of change. And what I'm trying to be as an inspiration point for everyone here in progress mode, I'm trying to be the inspiration point of saying sometimes you, you, you need to peak it. Sometimes you need to take things to the next level. You need to have some bold moves, not just consistency. We are in a world that has Been sold. This idea of just consistency over a super long period of time will compound into greatness. But study any great story and they will tell you and they will identify there was four or five or six major big moves they made in their life and those major big moves set like the direction of their life. Sometimes there's a step change in your decision making, a bold move, a new you, a new era you decide to go into. I decided I was going to go into this industry that back then was known more as like the expert industry, the thought leader industry. You know, to be accurate, back then it wasn't even an industry. And that's where my turning point came in. Here's what happened. If you are ever trying to pursue a dream and you feel very overwhelmed because there's not a lot of like direction or research or mentors or whatever, maybe that's just a blue ocean, that's a new direction. See, I'm at the stage at that moment I propose to the woman I love. I'm trying to get Life, school and ticket ready to launch. You know, everyone in my family, all my friends who have slept on their floors, you know, all the clients. I was starting to get coaching clients. Everyone's waiting, what's going to happen with this book? You know, I'm speaking at these colleges, they're wondering, what's going to happen with this book? As I was working towards it, I realized there was a big problem. It was like hard to explain to people what I wanted to do. I don't just want to write books. I don't want to just be a speaker. I want to be coaching people. And I'm doing this online video thing and writing these newsletters and blogging and sending out video. This was new. This was very different back then. And what I realized was there was no roadmap. I couldn't find it. Everyone, you were either a writer. So if you're a writer, you went to writers conferences. If you were a speaker, you went to speakers conferences. If you're a seminar leader, you went to seminars on how to do seminars. If you're a blogger, you went to events on how to do blogging. But tying it all together, especially with video, online marketing and emerging social media, it just wasn't there. If the roadmap isn't there. Welcome to your new era of leadership. I want you to know this. That is not an era of uncertainty or overwhelm. That is an era of leadership. You're paving a path, baby. You're doing something new. If everyone's Going, what the heck are you doing? I've never heard of that. Then they're doubtful. And you've done the research, you tried to read the books, you've gone to the conference, you couldn't find the answer. You're in a new era. And instead of being scared of it, enter it in progress mode. Faith that it will turn out, making a big bet, making that commitment towards it. That's how you get to an extraordinary life. You can have a good life without doing that. It's hard to have an extraordinary life without doing that. And so let me share with you what I mean and what happened. Life's going ticket hits, we're topping on Amazon. It's selling just enough, just enough to give me the notoriety to get my speaking went through the roof. I do a seminar in a circus tent, it takes off enough for me to start making it, but not big enough for me to be satisfied. And I was frustrated, as you heard. I put so much in that book and it was good and it became greater, but it was not, was not matching my expectation. I said, I, I need to learn how to sell this book on my own. And started studying online marketing more and more and more as I'm developing those skills and trying to learn. What I realized was everybody's still talking like we're siloed. You're a writer, you're a speaker, you're a seminar leader. Maybe you're a coach, or maybe you're a blogger or a vlogger, or maybe you're on social media. And I was like, this is all the same thing. All we are all trying to do across all these. These are actually, these aren't industries. It's not the writing industry, it's not the speaking industry, it's not the event industry. This is the same industry of people who are trying to share their message or expertise in the world and get paid for it, have a living off of it, make a difference with it. This is a group of people, they have a message and they're trying to share that message with other people as like a career. And the industry is not writing speaking events. You know, what later on became content. The, the industry is, these are thought leaders and they're using these different modalities to do it. And so, you know, they're really just messengers with a good message with some competency that they want to make a difference with and they want to have a career at that, and they can. And so I thought, maybe I need to teach that. Maybe I need to teach how I Came up with the concept of a book, how I got an agent, how I got a publisher, how I had self published, how I got coaching clients from that, how I built a webpage, how I'm selling event tickets, how I got partners who are agreeing to launch this book with me. Maybe I need to teach that. Partnership model. Yeah, the partnership model is a thing. I never thought about that. Maybe, maybe I need to teach this. And I didn't think I need to teach it because I just knew that. I just thought there was a change and people were asking, how'd you do it? How'd you do this? How'd you do this? How'd you do this? How'd you do this? I thought, I guess I'll teach it. At that point, I was having success at it. At least enough for me. Because sometimes your early success seems like a late stage success to somebody who's just starting. Let me say it again. Sometimes your early success seems like a late stage success to someone who's just starting. I was talking with people who didn't even know how to conceive of the book or write the book. Didn't know how to build a webpage, didn't know what a blog was, didn't know how to do online video, Never had a partnership or sponsorship in their life, never sold a ticket to anything. I was like, I can show them what I'm doing. So I did a first little event for maybe, I think it was like 20 some people. And that little event became a turning point. I was like, oh, one of the turning points in your life is when you say, what do other people need to learn that would help them on their journey? And have I ever done anything on that journey? And I realized I could help the industry grow up into the modern era of online marketing. While there were some online marketers out there, they were more selling, like how to do online marketing to get rich quick. Like get rich quick online marketing. I was saying, oh, if you have competency and expertise and you're a thought leader in a skill set, here's how you would put that together in a framework. Here's how you put that together to sell a ticket, here's how you put that together to have this whole suite of books, events, coaching, online courses, and you could really take that message. You have and you could, you could make and you could earn from that. And so I started conceiving of this idea. Life's golden ticket comes out. I do some events, I'm doing coaching, I launch online courses, I launch that newsletter and from that moment where my then girlfriend believed in me and she's sleeping under the weight of my bills, to me writing that book, to getting that deal, to launching it, to doing the seminar, to launching online courses, it's, you know, maybe, you know, within a two year, two and a half year period and we're millionaires. It worked. It was something so new. It was like stunning people. It's on me. We bought our first dream house. We did good enough. She. She was able to quit her job that had supported me. And I asked what does she want to do and her dream, her progress in her life, she wanted to open up exercise studios. She had a dream to do this particular kind of exercise studio. And so we moved to a town that didn't have that studio so that she could pursue her dream because I had started to make mine. Do you understand? One of the reasons you need to be in progress mode and you need significant change in your life, and the reason to keep going for it is so that maybe you can achieve or experience or sense your dream so now you can help other people achieve theirs, especially those you love the most. So she supported my dream, launched books, coaching, and training, and I was able to support her dream to now start a studio and take the risk of entrepreneurship and grow into that. Sam.