Striving in Chaos: Staying Motivated

What's up, my friends? Hey, it's Brendon Burchard. Welcome back to the Brendon show and the special series I've been doing on Striving in Chaos. How do we deal with this turbulent times? How do we deal with the chaos? How do we deal with the struggle and the overwhelm of all these changes in our lives, of the difficulties we're all facing? And I wanted to hop online, talk to you live, and share some ideas about that. On this special episode of Striving in Chaos, I want to take on the topic of motivation. You know, so many people are like, brendan, I've lost my motivation or I've lost my even sense of purpose. I've lost all my energy because, you know, all the stress is weighing down on me. I used to be performing up here and now I'm down here and I can barely get off the couch and I'm watching 40 seasons of Netflix and I'm just not finding my motivation right now because there's so much going on. What should I do? And so I'd love to talk to you a little about the science of human motivation and what you could do to reignite that, turn that back on, even though it's a struggle right now. And first good news, you didn't lose your purpose, nor did you lose your motivation. What happens is that sometimes in chaos, our brains are built to focus on little things one thing at a time. And so your mind isn't saying you lost purpose, it's saying, hey, you know what? Let's get our house in order. Hey, you know what, let's just take care of the projects we already had right now. Hey, let's just button up these things, get these things in order, take care of this problem at hand. And so those big picture thinking, that long view vision, that sense of seeing the horizon line in life, of course, that fades a little bit for some people sometimes when you're going through the such tremendous chaos. Okay, so that feeling that you have of stress or overwhelm, of just mental and spiritual fatigue from the world weighing down on you, totally normal, and you didn't lose anything. It's your mind asking you to focus narrowly on things that you can manage, on tasks in front of you, on completing projects, on organizing the house, on getting the kids fed, on making sure you shower during the day, sometimes those are when under extreme duress. But I hope you will also listen to all the previous episodes on the Brandon show podcast where I talked about striving in chaos because you can still have that drive. You can still have that purpose. But it's going to take a lot more work to rev that stuff up than it probably did in the past. Makes sense, right? When you have so much on your shoulders, you got to do a little bit more work to turn on that fire, right? When, hey, when it's warm outside and everything's going great and everything's easy, you throw one log in the fire, no problem. When it's winter and it's difficult and the wind is howling and it's difficult, you might have to throw four, five, six, seven logs in the fire. So what do I mean by that? Well, motivation is not something that you instantaneously have. You might have motivation like, you know, a drive or a hunger or a necessity in life that makes you go. But it's more of something. Don't think of it as something like you just naturally have. It's something that you sort of pick up by momentum. It's first you summoning the will to act and then you doing something and then picking up momentum, which I know you all know. But let me remind you of three things that must be in place for motivation to happen and for motivation to happen long term as well. Okay? So here we go. The things you need for motivation, number one, all of motivation begins with ambition. Now, I know not everyone likes the word ambition, but it is a technically correct way to define what's happening in motivation. Like, if you don't like the word ambition, replace it with desire, Replace it with hunger, replace it with wanting, replace it with, you know, purpose. Replace it with whatever you want. But ultimately, it's. Motivation begins with an ambition, a will to want to do something more, a will to change, a desire to shift action. It's an ambition to want something more. And I know in this world right now, I was like, oh, my gosh, I can't have ambition. How dare I have ambition for my life when everyone's struggling? No, how dare you not desire more for your life, because that will keep you alive. You. Desiring more is. Okay, listen, even the Dalai Lama has ambition, right? We have this idea that Buddhism is all about, like, letting go of all desire. Well, even the Dalai Lama would have an ambition to deepen his practice in meditation. Of course, he'd have ambition to impact and help and save and. And serve more people. Ambitions are. Okay. Ambitions aren't negative. Some people think of ambition as, I just want power. It's like, what do you. You lived too much in the 80s, okay? Ambition for you and your family is Totally. Okay. It's unchecked ambition. When you want ambition and power over others, that can become negative. But motivation, the spark is always going to be ambition for something. I want a better life. I want to achieve this project, I want to finish this thing. I want to just meditate and chill today. You still have to set that up right? So motivation begins with allowing and cultivating ambition. What does that mean for you right now? That means every day you need to get close to your goals. Every day you need to write them down, look at them, feel them, sense them. You gotta look at your goals on a more consistent basis to stoke the fire. Don't expect the fire to be there. Stoke it. Do the hard work of looking at your goals, visualizing the outcomes, hoping for them, dreaming of them, thinking about them, journaling about them, and working towards them. Allowing that ambition in your life right now is important. And double checking that you're making it happen by looking at your goals. That's what's gonna keep that motivation alive. Okay, what else? Well, the second thing that we need for motivation to be enduring is what psychologists call expectancy. That means you have a goal, a dream, a desire, a destination, a thing that you're achieving or seeking to achieve. Expectancy means I believe that I can have that, I believe that I can make that happen. I can figure it out. I, I believe that I'm valued and worthy of having that thing. It's the expectation that you're going to make it happen and the expectation that you specifically are going to do things to make it happen. Not like hope, not like faith. Those are very important. But for personal motivation, that's going to come from, you're going to go, oh, I can do that, I can do that, I can make that happen. I can summon that. So first and foremost, you got to have ambitions. And second, you got to believe in them. Right. It's the oldest thing in a book in personal development. Right. If you don't believe it, you can't achieve it. So you've got to sit and ruminate. How can you possibly believe you're going to do it? Because you're going to visualize it. You're going to think about it. You're going to make a plan, you're going to visualize it, you're going to think about it, you're going to make a plan and you're going to do it every dang day. Yes. Even in the turbulence. Yes. Even the chaos. Visualize it, think about it. Make it a plan. Go visualize it. Think about it make it every day you have to ruminate on these positive things that can happen in your life. And when you ruminate on the positive things that can happen in life, your body and your brain start getting primed and energized and ready to go, baby. What's the third big piece? You know, it's coming. Effort, hard work, going for it. Because remember, often motivation is actually picked up by momentum. We need you to get small, everyday steps towards something that you value for you to then wake up the next day and feel pulled, motivated again to move towards it. Right? So much of motivation is a result of momentum. When there's no momentum, it's like, you know, it's like that old, you know, it's like an object at rest stays at rest unless acted upon by another force or willpower, you know, so it's like really important for you to go, oh, if I want motivation, I must allow ambition. I must get close to my goals. I. I must every day visualize the goal, see the goal, hope for the goal, dream for the goal, plan for the goal, and every day make a small step towards that. And all those small steps pick up that momentum. And one day you wake up, you're like, oh, I feel a little more driven because you feel a little more rewarded to go. Last big piece on motivation often, y'. All. And I know this is true for so many of you. You will do more for your family, for your friends and for other people than you would do for yourself. So tap back into one of the world's most beautiful and powerful things, especially in turbulent times. And that is service to others, purpose, meaning leadership, that connection with other people's waking up. Listen, if you won't do anything for yourself today, I know some of you, you won't even shower. You're so bummed out. Send a nice Voice Text to 10 people tomorrow morning. Watch how it changes your attitude and your energy. Send seven great emails to people thanking them for being in your life, thanking them for their hard work. Watch how it changes your attitude. Puts a little more motivation in your heart. Acknowledging, appreciating, surprising, gifting, doing wonderful acts of service for other people, saying beautiful things to other people. It motivates us, it drives us, it turns us back on. And all of these things I know you can do. That's why I'm here for you every day. I'll be motivating you throughout this. Every day. I'll be posting the audios of what we're doing here on the Brendan show podcast for you. So if you want to listen to yesterday's Striving and Chaos episodes, those are up every day. I'll be here for you live. I'll put the audio up on the Brendan show podcast so you can listen again and again. Especially if you have any of those days where you're down, you're overwhelmed, you. You're stressed out, you're emotionally fatigued, you doubt yourself. The uncertainty is kicking your butt. Go listen to Brendon show podcast. The link is in my bio on Instagram. And I promise you, those episodes called Striving and Chaos, this whole new season I'm doing, they will shift and they will change your life. Okay with that, what's up, Instagram? I'd love to take some of your questions today. I hope you enjoyed that little framework and that little reminder about motivation. What question? Well, first off, everybody watching live. Hi, guys. I see you all. Give me a shout out. Tell me where you're from, and give me a question. What's bothering you? What do you need some advice on? What are you struggling with? I'm here for you. I can see you here. Thank you so much for being here. Hi, Glenn. I see you. I see you. Hi, little Hardy. I see you. Hi, Grossie. I see you. What's up, Anthony? Where do you start, man? Anthony, you start in the morning with your morning routine. Don't wait until the afternoon to hope to have motivation and drive in your. Like, have that first hour of the day lock solid with the routine that you do. Lock solid that first hour. Like, it doesn't have to be everything perfect every day. But listen, that first hour can really lock it in. If you'd like to know my morning routine, go listen to the very first episode of Striving in Chaos, the new series on my Brennan show podcast. Listen to that. Because I gave you my entire daily routine. I tell you what I eat. I tell you what I do in the first 20 minutes of time, the next 20, the next 20 after that. I tell you how I work out, how I refresh myself throughout the day, energetically, what types of meditation I do. That's all part of the Striving and Chaos episode number one on my podcast, the Brendon Show. Just go check it out. What other questions do you have? I'm here for you. I've seen people from Brazil. What's up? That's awesome. Do you have any specific diet? My diet would be pretty fairly straightforward. Again, I talk about that in episode one of Striving Chaos on the Brennan show podcast. But basically, I Wake up. And about maybe an hour, one to three hours after I've woken up, I have a morning shake and that's 30 grams of protein, plant based protein. It's spinach or kale, it's chia seeds, it's blueberries, it's almond butter, it's avocado, coconut milk. That's it. Pretty much every morning for lunch, it's usually something, maybe if we have some leftovers, but usually it tends to be lots of greens and some type of like chicken, turkey or beyond meat, veg, burger. Dinner is almost always fish and some type of green stuff like lots of greens, lots of greens all day, lots of greens. That's pretty much it. Let's see, let's see. What's your responsibility? This is from Jess. What's your responsibility in a relationship? For motivation, your responsibility is always yourself and seeking to be a role model for your partner. And I know that's not always easy, but I can say it's required in a good relationship. Many of you guys have been through Transformation Week, my online course with my wife Denise, and she's man, this last week or two has been super hard. As I've been pivoting the business, I've been doing a lot more for you all. I've been just kicking out free programs, free programs, free audios, free courses, all my YouTube stuff. If you've seen it, like, we've been on a tear of content creation and been rather exhausting. And my wife, seeing her positive attitude in the morning, hearing her be accepting and cheering me on, has been really helpful and she takes that on for me and I take that on for her in that we both have made a decision in this relationship that we're here to cheer each other on. And I think that is the best you can do. You're not responsible for their motivation, but by your positive example and your appreciation, compassion, empathy and love for them, you can definitely motivate them, is my personal belief. I hope this is serving you guys. What are the questions you got? Oh, I'm sorry, my comments section froze. One sec, guys, I'll come back to you. Okay, let's see. Nancy, how long did it take you to become an expert in your industry? Boy, I guess, Nancy, that depends on who you ask. You know, I don't know. In so many ways it was almost called. It was spontaneous. I had a car accident inspired me to want to live my life in a different way. And my personal story from that car accident was my credibility point. It was, this is what, this is where I was. I was suicidal. I was sad. I was a depressed and broken young man from a relationship that ended. I had this accident, unrelated, that made me realize I didn't want to die. I actually was just sad. And I wanted to live my life. And it made me start over again. It gave me that tagline, live love matter. And it was that that situation of that car accident inspired me to change. And so my credibility began with that incident and with those efforts to just judiciously and conscientiously change and improve my life. And it was sharing the example of those efforts and those, you know, mindsets, habits, routines. It was just sharing my own journey that made a connection with people. Then my credibility in my own perspective came from the research. You know, I've read a book a week for 24 years, pretty much Unbroken, and that really got me a lot of insight because those books I read are always psychology, always philosophy, self improvement, spirituality, or some type of leadership in business. And that intel, that research helped me a lot. Then coaching and working with people, like, actually being compensated to change people's behavior and help them improve their lives and getting results through that. So all these things stacked on. First it was just my personal journey, then it was the research, then it was practical application, doing it for other people and getting the results and the intel from that. Then it was training people all around the world. And the more people I trained, the more perspective I got. And ultimately, that really served me. I hope that helps. Unaman. I think it's saying I can't read. Your name is asking, how do you deal with uncertainty? You realize that it has been there every single day of your life. Uncertainty was there on your most successful days of your life. Uncertainty was there on your most motivated days of your life. Uncertainty was there on your most. Uncertainty has never changed. Everyone right now who's getting locked in the uncertainty of the pandemic is telling themselves a story that this uncertainty is somehow bigger or different than uncertainty of all time. And that's not true. Like, it's a new threat, no question asked. But many people who are staying at home, hey, it's more certain they're not going to be in a car accident today than they would have been in four months ago, right? It's just as uncertainty that. Just, just as uncertain that our planet will be whacked out by a comet. It just is uncertain that there'll be an earthquake. It's just as uncertain that we'll drop over dead from heart disease. Like, we keep thinking and believing that there's New uncertainty. That's so. Uncertainty has been enormous. It has been perilous. It has been a chasm. It has been an abyss that has been present every day of your life, including the best days of your life. So I say, what was different on the best days of your life? You weren't obsessing about the uncertainty. You weren't ruminating it all day. You were doing stuff. You were connecting with people. You were taking care of business. And so I just have to say, don't let uncertainty become bigger now, because there's a new threat, because there's always been threats to your health. Listen, every time you put that crap food in your mouth, that is an uncertain outcome. Though scientifically we say it's probably going to lead to something negative. So I'm just here to say uncertainty has always been there. It's just that now everyone's ruminating on it because they're checking their phone 47 times a day. They're freaking out. And the more that you do that, the more that you ruminate on the negative, the crisis, the terrible news, this person's terrible, that person's terrible, the more that uncertainty is really gonna poison your mind. So be careful of that. I hope that helps you. Okay, I'll come back to your questions. Thank you so much. Let's see. Oh, Nora is asking from Montreal, how do you stop the guilt? With my kids being too much on their electronics, since I'm working from home. So Nora's working from home. She's got the kids on the iPad or the iPhone or the electronics, the games, so that she can get stuff done and have moments of sanity. And here's what I'm here to say. It's like, listen, guilt has never really served anybody in improving the quality of their relationships with their family. See, guilt like anything else, just like doubt, just like sadness. They're signals. They're signals. All feelings are a signal, not a reality. It's a signal for me to pay attention to something, a signal for me to adjust something, a signal for me to feel deeper into something. Signals are okay. Feelings are okay. When guilt comes up, it's a signal. Say, oh, do I have a different value ethic here? How would I apply that? Oh, is there a behavior I'd like to change? Is there something I should shift? And often what it might be, Nora, is, this would be a good conversation time with the kids about why they're on electronics, about what they're doing on electronics, about what you desire in that situation and what they desire in that situation. And listen, I know tons of parents say, well, just, you know, electronics are good or they're bad. No, they're tools, just like anything else. Just like your phone can be a tool for good or for bad. It's what you want that tool to achieve. And when you want it to do that. So to get rid of the guilt, make a decision, make a plan and stick to it. And ask the kids to participate. Because once you made the decision, this is what is quote, unquote good, or this is what we want here, then there's something you can stick to it. It's when it goes out of whack. And all of a sudden you realize they've been there eight hours, they haven't been clothed, fed, showered, and you go, oops. Because you got away from what you expected it to be. So maybe set some ground rules and that might serve too. Great questions, y'. All. I really appreciate you all. Mac, thank you. My wife is amazing and she's darling and I love her. And I couldn't do anything here if she hadn't been so supportive of me. Let's see. Loy is asking, do I believe in God? Yes, of course I do. I do believe in God very deeply, as many of you know. Any of my books you ever read. Just read the dedication, read the acknowledgments. They're always thankful to God. I believe I was given a gift of a second chance by God, what I call life's golden ticket. And I speak about God or faith in all my seminars, talks, events. It's been always part of my life. Let's see, what else? What else? Yeah. Barb's saying, hard to believe you were once suicidal. Yeah, an entire year of deep suicide as a 19 year old kid. I had a relationship that ended and my identity was tied up with that relationship. So when the relationship fell apart, I fell apart, too. And luckily, life intervened and I had a car accident. I realized I don't want to die. I want to do something good with myself and I want to live and I want to love and I want to matter. And that made all the difference in the world. Let's see, let's see. Erica is asking. I'm finding it hard in balancing working outside the house and wanting to take part in what everyone else is doing. Oh, yeah. I think a lot of people are having FOMO and a lot of people are wanting to participate, but obviously they can't because they're physically distancing themselves from other people. And here's the most important thing. Please Recognize the incredible temporary nature of what we are dealing with. And I don't mean the pandemic, I don't mean that the virus still won't be out there. I don't mean even in the fall people will be getting sick. But right now, yeah, we're locked in for a month, 2, 3, 4, depending where we're at in the world. In the span of your lifetime, that's an incredibly short period of time. Incredibly short. If you feel yourself missing out with people you know, hop on a zoom every Friday with your best friends and have a chat, have coffee hour or cocktail hour, listen, you don't have to miss out on human connection. We have. Listen, if this was ever going to happen in the history of the world, you are so friggin lucky it's happening now. Where all the tools of connection exist in your palm. Like right now, you can connect with anybody. What an incredible blessing. If we were ever going to be locked in for months, thank God it's now. We're in many places around the world. They'll deliver food to your house still, you can buy the necessities on websites that deliver to your house. You can talk to people like, listen, I'm actually shocked, I genuinely am shocked at how many people are having a loss of perspective and are being a little bit whiny given their situation. Now, I'm not saying everyone is. Obviously there are real people being infected, being laid off, having family members pass away. It's scary in that sense. But there's a lot of people who are in privileged position to have a full pantry, to have a paycheck, or to know that right now they're not sick. And I hope they are counting their blessings times 10. You know, I think right now what has surprised me is how many people have let this situation overtake themselves and they've made the problem bigger than themselves. They have allowed themselves to ruminate so much on the situation that they have taken their eyes off their own hopes, their own dreams and their own emotional center. We must do the work right now to be in our emotional center. And so I'll sign off one more time with the three reminders I've given everybody over 90 days ago as the crisis began, as I saw it unfolding, I said, here's just three things we got to go in and we got to nail. Number one, we must choose our mindset and our attitude going into the situation as we know inevitably it's going to grow. So please, please, please, please, as I've told everyone, adopt the role Model mindset. Adopt that mindset that says, oh, how I show up now, that will give me pride and respect later on in my life and, and it will inspire other people around me. Let me take command of my own emotions and actions right now. Let me be a role model. Number two, let me optimize my health and my wellness right now. It's the most important thing. It is why I'm telling people mentally fill out your high performance planner every day. It's why I'm telling people who struggle with mental focus or having that positive and sharp mind to take HPX Optimized. Many of you guys know that supplement we formulated from our deep research at High Performance Institute. It's called HPX Optimize. It comes in a beautiful box. You can get it. Search HPX Optimize on the Internet. You'll find it. I'm telling people to work out still from home. I'm telling people to sleep, to rest, to recover. That was second. Point number two, optimize your health and wellness. Point number three, skill up, Skill up. Get ready. It's going to be a long haul where we're all required to learn new new tools. We're going to learn, we're all going to learn how to create online, lead online, serve online, communicate online, sell online. And that is why if you're on my newsletter list, you'll see me right now talking about my Influencer Business program or my total Product Blueprint program. Both of those programs just search on the Internet. Total Product Blueprint or Influencer Business Program. We've opened those again right now to guide people through how to monetize content, do virtual coaching, teach online, build and create content online. Because if we don't do it now, oh my gosh, I mean, there's going to be such a skill gap in these coming months and years between people who figured this out and people who didn't. So I've been super dedicated there, but those are my messages to people. You've got to control your attitude and choose a role model mindset. You've got to optimize your health and wellness and you got to skill up now. Better sooner than later. And that is why I'm here. I hope you enjoyed today's session. If again you missed anything and you're just joining us, go onto the Brendon show podcast. Download the season. This current season, it's called Striving in Chaos. Today's episode was on the framework of motivation and how to keep motivation alive even during these turbulent times. I hope that serves you. And I see you all. Thank you for tuning in. From Columbia, from New York City, from Greece. We had people here from Italy, which I truly appreciated. I saw Australia. I saw Singapore. I saw. Where was that? I saw New Zealand. I saw Nigeria. I see you guys. I appreciate each of you. I'm sending you my love. I see London in the house. I see New York in the house. I'm sending you my love. I'm sending you positivity. I am hoping, and so is Denise. We are hoping and praying for. For your safety, your health, your optimism, your confidence, your courage through these times. Thanks for being with me tonight. I'll see you tomorrow.