Tactics for Beating Back Your Fears

Beat back those fears. I got four big ideas for you and you're gonna love them.

Number one.

And you're gonna hate this one. I'll make sure you like the rest. Number one, stop thinking the reason you are not getting ahead has anything whatsoever to do with fear. Fear gets too much play in our lives when we're always going to it, we're always blaming it. Oh, it's fear. Fear held me back. Well, I'm worried about this, so I stop. And you know what it is? It's a grand lie that's been perpetuated by society. It's a huge lie. Cause look, fear, real fear, physical fear especially, is there's an external threat that's imminent and it's in your face. That's fear. Everything else is a self contrived story that we tell ourselves. And we need to realize that most fear is just bad management of our minds, but we allow ourselves to loop it. What happens if you don't know psychologically what's happening? Fear is really just saying what if? Followed by a negative statement. What if she rejects me? What if they don't give me the promotion? I ask, what if I fail? What if they make fun of me? What if I lose everything I worked so hard for? What if? Followed by a negative statement. I have a question for you though. What if you started focusing more in your life on the what ifs? Followed by a positive statement. What if she says yes? What if I get what I finally deserve? What if I can grow this business? What if I can accomplish that? What if I believed in myself again and you started stewing on the positive as much as you stewed on that old negative? It would change your story and it would change how you feel about yourself. Fear is usually not the thing holding people back. What's usually holding them back is a connection with something more important than fear. Let me say it again. Fear is not usually what's holding people back. What's holding them back is a lack of connection with something that's bigger than fear, right? I mean, how does a soldier run into harm's way? How does a firefighter run into the burning building? It's not that they're not fear, right? There is always going to be fear when you're doing something where there might be risk, but instead the soldier is attached to his mission, his commitment, his pledge to his country. Something bigger than the fear and himself. The firefighter runs into the building, he's still afraid. He or she runs in that building because they have a bigger commitment to Serve people and save people. That's bigger than their fear. If you're not doing something, don't blame fear. Realize that you're lacking a connection to something that's bigger than the fear. Something that you care about more than your insecurity, your worry, your negative what ifs. And so that's what the heroes do. The firefighter said, what if I could save lives? The soldier said, what if I could serve my country? The executive who finally tried that big, bold, crazy idea said, not, what if this turns out badly? What if this is innovative, changes the game, serves our customers better. The woman who finally talked to her husband about that thing that's bothering her so long, instead of saying, well, what if he's a jerk? She said, well, he's probably going to be a jerk, but what if I finally move him? This time they allowed themselves to believe. She said, what if he finally changes? And she got over her fears because she said, I care about our relationship and our future more than how scared I am to say something that's vulnerable. You follow? Stop blaming the fear, my friend. This was a big thing for me. I stopped. You know what? I probably started shooting videos about two years after I should have, because I thought, well, what if they make fun of me? What if no one watches them? You know, I wasn't a good communicator. This like I'm doing now. I don't have a teleprompter. I don't. I have a couple bullet points in front of me. I'm teaching you from my life, from my experience of serving millions of people around the world. I didn't have that ability before. So I sat there for years, worried and not ready to start. And it was too unfortunate. I mean, I wish I'd started earlier, but back then it was, well, what if it doesn't work? What if this is stupid? And then finally said, you know what? This isn't fear. There's no fear preventing me from going around and pressing the red button on that camera. There is no fear. There's no fear there. There's a story there, there's a what if? Followed by the negative statement there. But there's no fear. There is no lie in between me and the video camera. It's my own self stopping me. It's my own lack of commitment to something bigger than that red button. Stop telling yourself it's fear, my friend. And that will change everything in your life. Number two, and this is huge, huge, huge. If you don't believe anything I just said, then fine, get A piece of paper and write down the real fears. Write them down. I want you to think of the dream that you have, the ambition, the goal, and any reason that you think you've been stopping. Write down why. Okay. What would you have to go learn, do, or ask for in order to overcome that fear or that challenge? It's simple. You know, the biggest breakthrough sometimes for people's lives is when they write stuff down. Have you ever had that? You've been in a seminar and you write in your journal. Pow. The idea hits you, or you're writing your journal at night, or you're typing your book, or you're doing something, and just by the act of expression or capturing, you find your answers. So if I'm talking to you, it's just not hitting. That's okay. Take that time and you'll find your own answers. When you say, I want this, but this is stopping me, and then you take that next step to say, okay, here's what I should do to address. Learn, re, equip, ask for help to address that challenge. Then guess what happens. You usually do. Third, big idea. From there, you know what? Fear tends to dissipate with daily action. Fear tends to dissipate with daily action. So I'd love you to do this. All I want you to do is take three steps a day, accomplish three goals a day. I know sometimes in your life when it's really difficult. I mean, I remember in my life when I was seriously depressed and suicidal as a young man in college after my girlfriend broke up with me. I mean, you know, a goal for the day might be something as big as take a shower. Literally. I mean, that might have been it. Take a shower, eat some food, talk to a friend. That sometimes when you're there, that's all it takes. But you can do those three things. When you're uber successful now and you're breaking through, it might be, call that person who you've been waiting to call and ask for it something from shoot that video, create that product, invent that thing, tell those people to stop, ask for help, whatever it is. Find three things that you can do every day that's appropriate for where you're at in your life and just do them. Because you know what? Momentum beats the pants out of fear. The more momentum in your life, you get what we call in psychology, the experience of the competence confidence loop. Have you heard of that? The competence confidence loop. It's a psychologically proven reality where the better you get, or the more momentum you get, the more confidence and the beauty is the more confidence you get, the more you'll try things and develop more knowledge, skill and ability. Thus more competence. And the more competence is confidence. The more confidence these things grow together. And all of a sudden fear isn't such a thing anymore. Because you know what? You've gotten through things before. You've broken through things before. And because you did that, things change. And here's the last big idea. What's something crazy that you could aspire to or want crazy? When you looked at your goals, was there anything on those goals that were crazy, totally out of reach? You were like, no way, don't know how, can't do that. Were there anything like that? I want you to find those things. I want you to write that thing down. Here's three big crazy things I want in my life. Then I also want you to write, here's the fear I would have if I chased those or I accomplished those three big fears of if I chased it or accomplished it. Because sometimes it's not just the fears we have today, it's we're thinking we're going to have fear tomorrow. Well, if I go for that dream, then these things, I might have fears later on. Identify those and create an action plan for those two. Because you know what? The more you think about your fears, the more you realize they're silly. The more you realize those worst case scenarios almost never happen. And the more you realize you deserve something beyond them. You don't deserve to live a life trapped by fear. That cage. Fear can only be rattled by you, only be broken by you, only be broken by your mind expanding into new possibilities for yourself and you taking new daily actions. It's okay to think crazy once in a while. I want something crazy and big and it's a big goal and I don't know how I'm going to do it. Don't let fear stop you. Get committed to what you want. Set those daily actions and quit making the excuses that it speaks year, my friend. It will be the biggest breakthrough you ever have in your life. Hey y'.

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