Brendon explains how to bounce back from defeat in three steps: let yourself feel disappointed, then ask what you learned about yourself and others; take three concrete actions that same day to rebuild momentum; the next day, shift focus outward by serving someone else.
How do you turn the feeling of defeat into a success mindset? Those days, you get disappointed, you get sad, you get upset, someone makes fun of you, and all of a sudden all of your motivation and your focus and your drive drains out with the disappointment. How do you turn it around? You know, if you went for that big project and you failed, it didn't work out. You put the video out, nobody watched it. You know, you did what you've been trying to do, but you just didn't get the accolades or the rewards. And now you feel defeated. And like, tomorrow you're kind of like, screw. Why even try? We've got to learn how to change that mindset around so we can have some more resiliency and motivation so that we can keep at it in our dreams. But the question is how? That's what this episode is about. The first thing you have to remember, as soon as defeat strikes, and it will. If you're chasing big missions, big purposes, things that really matter to you, you're going to have down days, you're going to have bad days. Allow that everybody wants to be so pollyannish or super positive and say, oh, there is no defeat. There is no failure. Oh, no, there's failure. I mean, there really is. And we should stop pretending that people don't fall on their face and feel bad and have bad days. Allow it. When you have a bad day, allow that moment to say, you know what? Yeah, this isn't the way I wanted it to go. And then immediately shift into learning. Disappointment immediately goes away as soon as you shift into learning. So your question is, first, allow it. Say, okay, I am disappointed. I have higher standards. I wanted it to go better. But instead of now, keep focusing on those things where you beat yourself up and beat yourself and beat yourself up. You say to yourself, okay, what's three things I learned? Go and start focusing on what you learned. Specifically, when you get defeated in your life, I want you to start analyzing what defeated you. But instead of saying, I did bad here and bad here and bad here, turn it into a question about. First, what did I learn about myself? Second, what did I learn about other people? Third, what did I learn about the world? Fourth, what can I do about it? That's how you deal with the disappointments. What did I learn about myself? What did I learn about other people? What did I learn about the world? And what can I do? Now that focus to those four questions from any disappointment or defeat, what will help charge you up? Because you'll be focused more on the lessons and what you can do next. The second big idea when you have a defeat is this. Immediately that day that you got defeated, I want you to take three action steps. No matter what those are. Sometimes the three action steps are, okay, that didn't work out well. Send an email to my team explaining or apologizing. Sometimes the action step is to call somebody, send a note to somebody, send a text. Sometimes the action step can simply be, stop at the grocery store, get my favorite meal. So tonight I feel better about myself. Whatever it is, just make sure as soon as the disappointment happens, you set three goals that very day and do them. One of those goals can be meditate and think about it. Another goal can be take a long walk. Another goal can be, let's exercise. Another goal can be, call a friend, go out to coffee. I don't care what it is, my friend, but you need those goals and you need to do them immediately. Because here's the thing. The more momentum you have, doesn't matter toward what goal. The more momentum you have, the more motivation you'll feel. And that motivation can often wipe out that feeling of disappointment and move you forward. And then the third big idea, when you get defeated, stop focusing so much on yourself. I know it's easy to stew in your own hurt or your anger, your disappointment. But instead, start thinking about that very next day. How can I rise to another level of service? That's the question I want you to ask the next day. When you wake up that next day after disappointment, say, you know what? Today I have the opportunity to serve. Let me do it with full joy and heart. Let me challenge myself this day. Yes, yesterday wasn't what I wanted to be, but this day, I'm going to challenge myself again to serve with full joy. That and full heart. If you can do these simple things. I know they're just internal dialogues I'm talking about. You're really just looking at the disappointment or the defeat and saying, okay, what did I learn about myself, other people, and the world and what can I do? You're really just saying, okay, what are three steps I can take today to get some more momentum back? And you're really just waking up the next day and saying, hey, how can I serve even better today? That might sound so simplistic, but. But most people don't do those things. They keep stewing over and over and over on the hurt and the angst and the stress, and so they never break free. If you ask a different quality of question, you can live a different quality of life and overcome those disappointments. So try that next time you feel down or defeated and you'll start to experience and live what we call the Charge Life. Hey my friend, it's Brendan. I hope you enjoyed this episode. Do me two favors. Number one, subscribe to this channel so that you continue to get updates every time I release new training for you. And number two, if you would like to get ahead a little faster in life, what I'd like to do is give you my 10 steps to achieving anything 10 times faster. So if you have a big goal, a big dream, a big mission in life and you just like to achieve it faster, what would you need to do? You know, this is exactly what I keep next to my computer or next to my bed. And every time I have a big dream, a big goal, I open it up and I kind of use this as my checklist to get ahead faster. Because you and I both know if you're going to be more effective or more productive or you are going to achieve your goals and your dreams faster, you're going to have to switch your perspective a little bit on achievement itself. You're going to have to adopt new thinking patterns and habits. You're going to have to have new daily rituals and habits. And your entire approach to learning and skill development must be better. So in order to help you do that, just go ahead and click the link in this post or go to brendan.com 10x that's Brendon B R E N D O n.com 10x and you can download this guide for free. Just tell me your name and email. I'm happy to email that to you for free. The same guide I use to achieve any goal or dream faster. Thanks for tuning in. Until I see you next time. Go out there every single day of your life. Live fully, love openly and make your difference. Today.
