What People Want *After* They Have Success

Hey y', all, it's Brendan. And I finished earlier today a Zoom call with a client of mine who is extraordinarily successful, way high achieving, and they were miserable and they were trying to figure out why. Then they said, Brendan, why is it I have everything? I have all the external successes in the world, but I still haven't figured out something. I said, what do you mean? And she was explaining how she had accomplished everything that you could earthly want, you know, in terms of like been on magazines, had lots of money, had a happy family, you know, had the cars and the houses and everything else like that. But her question was really powerful. I wanted to share that with you in this episode, which is what is it that people want after they have everything they thought they wanted? Because so much of my work as a high performance coach is literally working one on one with people and they're always trying to figure that out. You know, when we're first chasing success, a lot of us want those external measures of success. Success, right. We want abundance and financial well being. We want the ability to do what we want. We want to have, you know, for some people, it's status, fame, money, power, impact, you know, respect in their community, a professional career, you know, it depends on what people want. But the truth is a lot of people are able to achieve that and succeed and have that. We call them high performers. So a high performer has success over the long term and much more than their peers or others around them. And yet I meet a lot of high performers who achieved it all. They have good health, they have good well being, they got plenty of money, and something is still bothering them. So what is it that people want after they've gotten what they thought they wanted? As a coach, I can tell with you, I think it's really three things that I have learned over 20 years of working with some of the world's most successful people. It's so obvious to me and I'll usually work with them on this. Three simple things. The first thing that you want after you've already had your primary successes in your life is improved lifestyle. And I don't mean improved lifestyle like another car in the garage. I don't mean improved lifestyle like just another house. And by the way, those things are fine. Those external things like that, those external rewards, I'm not bemoaning those. What I'm saying is more people want more control over their time lifestyle. They want to have more free mornings. They want to be able to travel more, they want to be able to do what they want each day. In my book, the Motivation Manifesto, we call that personal freedom. The ability to be who we truly are, unencumbered by our own fears or external obligations, to meet up to other people, and the ability to pursue things that really we find meaningful and deeply impactful. That's the lifestyle they want more of. Because guess what? Sometimes to get successful, they. They hustled and ground themselves in earth. You know, they worked for 10 years without taking a breath. You know, they fried their health or whatever, and now they're like, okay, I've kind of made it. What I'd like more now is more personal control and freedom about my lifestyle. I really want to enjoy the day more. Right? That's a big piece of it. That's the no duh one. Everyone, I can always meet them on that conversation because that's easy for them to find that. Yeah, I want more time freedom. I want more flexibility. I want to do more what I want to do. Cool. The second thing, though, where we really get into coaching is people want more depth. They want more depth in their relationships, right? They want to deepen their relationship with their kids. They want to deepen their relationships with their co workers, the people they lead. They want to deepen their relationship with their spouse, their partners. They want more depth in their. Even their sensation of the day. They're like, I want to feel the. The day again. Brendan. I've been going 24 miles an hour. I've been showing up 2,400 miles an hour. They've been going as fast as possible, and they're like, I want to feel life again. They want depth in the moment. So that's the stuff of mindfulness. That's the stuff of self awareness. That's the stuff of presence. That's the stuff of spirituality, right? I want more depth and feeling in this life. That's often a mental, emotional, and spiritual level of the conversation that we have to go into. Like, I want more depth. I really want to have depth in the hour, in the moment, in the feeling, in the sensation. They want more depth of gratitude, more depth of intimacy, more depth of joy, more depth in the sensations and the feelings of life, right? Because they've been skimming the surface now. They want to go deep on their skill sets, their hobbies, their passions. Depth is something I can always connect with them on. The third thing they want is success for others. Because once you've been blessed with success for yourself, now you turn your mind sometimes into even more service for others. To me, I personally believe that you can't get your primary levels of success without having service to others, without connecting with others and contributing to other people's lives. But I met a lot of people who, you know, they sell their company for hundreds of millions of dollars. As many of you guys know, I've worked with billionaires, I work with presidents. I've had the, the opportunity to work with Olympians and some of the most like really inspiring influencers of the world. But what I see about them is that there's a point in which they've gotten just enough for themselves, where they really go all in. That's where you see the Bill Gates of the world, you know, leaving Microsoft so he can focus on the Gates foundation to pour billions of dollars into giving, into philanthropy, into service, because he wants other people to survive and thrive and flourish. It's where you see so many people starting nonprofits after they've had success. It's where you see so many people now caring about how good of a leader they are. After they climb the ladder, they really want to reach down and help other people up. And it's true. I always am able to connect with the highest performers. On this question of how are you helping other people have more success? Right? Are you mentoring other people? Are you providing for other people? Are you doing philanthropic work? Are you, are you providing service in some new way? Are you making sure you're helping the next generation come up? Many of you all know, in my own career, I bring people out and I mentor them in the influencer space. I help them launch a book, or I help them launch their courses, or I teach them the business model of live events or coaching. And I've been a mentor to some of the biggest influencers in the world because I got that blessing. I just wanted to write a book. And I'm on my sixth book, best selling book. You know, I want to do a course one time. I've done 28 of them. I've had so much abundance in my own life. I want to give that back to other influencers. And many of you know I started the Influencer business program or the Influencer event or mentor. All these other influencers you always see giving me shoutouts because I started asking that question even more diligently once I had a primary level of success for myself. So here's what I want you to think about. I know many of you watching this, even if you're just climbing up, I want you to know the end targets here. No matter what you are doing as you are doing it, know that even if you have all the success in the world, but you don't have the lifestyle you want. You don't have depth of feeling, emotion, joy, connection each day. And you don't live and strive and work to mentor others so they have success too. You will feel empty even if you're rich. You will feel hollow even if you did meaningful work in the world and other people were admiring it. You will feel fake even if you were on the covers of magazines being celebrated for being a good person. It will never be enough. You will never accumulate enough. So please listen to me on your march to success. Don't forget that no matter what, however far you get, you're gonna want to know, is this the lifestyle I truly want to live? So build that now. Do I feel the depth of emotions and joy and connection with this day and in my relationships? Build that now. Are you helping other people succeed themselves? Not just taking, not just trying to succeed. Are you serving others, helping other people achieve higher levels of success? If you'll do those three things on your success journey, I promise, not only will you arrive in a more magical place, you'll be happy when you do arrive there. Hey y'. All, I hope you enjoyed this episode. If you did, would you please smash that subscribe button and also post any questions you have down below? Because it's these questions that you're all asking that inspires these episodes. I'd love to hear what you think about it. Also, if you would love to join us on our next upcoming live training. We call it our High Performance Experience Coaching Program. If you'd like some coaching and have some perspective and get some two hours of live with me every single month, then then click the link in the post down below so you can join us in HPX Coaching. I'd love to give you some more strategies, more insight, and more interaction to help you reach your next level of success. Until next time. Again, please subscribe, share this video with anybody who could be inspired by it today. And thanks one more time for being part of my community.