What Should I Do with My Life??

Hey everybody. Oh my goodness, look at this. We have 500 plus people already joining us here while I am recording this with you guys live. Omg, here we are in this important moment of our lives where we get to ask, what should I be doing with my life? How can I find some more aliveness, some more connection, some more meaning, more growth? And that is what has brought us together here today. If this is your first time ever with me in a live broadcast, what's up? I'm Brendan Richard, founder of Growth Day, the world's number one personal development app. Mostly because of you guys spreading the message about what we're doing, telling people about all of our tools, our coaching, our community, and most important, I guess most importantly, the positivity of this community. You think about all the messages in the world right now, all the difficulty, all the vitriol, all of the stress, all, all of the anger, all of the division. And then you think about the messaging of Growth Day. That idea that you are stronger than you think, you have more potential than you could possibly fathom. That by mastering your mindset and your habits and improving your relationships and seeking influence to make a difference in this world, we sound different and we are different. That if you showed up for something like this today, I want you to immediately begin by giving yourself some gratitude by following that impulse in your heart that said, I want to improve, I want to feel better, I want to get better. Because self improvement is ultimately about societal improvement, right? It starts with us. We got to get our house in order, we got to get better, we got to improve ourselves. We got to find integrity and congruence and joy in our own hearts before we can ever improve the world. And I believe that by making that daily decision here in Growth Day together, we are doing that. For those who are totally new, please make sure in the chat or in the comments, wherever you happen to be watching this broadcast today, please, please, please let us know where you are watching from because we do geek out about that. I've been blessed in my career to now reach people in over 190 countries in my own personal brand. I'm coming up on half a billion video views, which I can't believe. Over 30 million hours of my training content out in the world now. And what I'm excited about is that I should say 30 million hours of my content having been viewed. I haven't recorded 30 million hours, just so you know, I want to be specific, but today's session might be an all time big request, which is, Brendan, what should I do with my life. And I've heard that question posed in two different ways. One way is, I don't know, I feel lost or I feel depressed, or I feel like I'm away from my purpose, or I don't know what I really like. I don't know what makes me happy or fulfilled. And sometimes in that way, it's coming from a perspective of really feeling lost. And I don't judge that. That's what people say. And I felt that too. Or sometimes I hear in a way of like, it's motivated, it's energized, there's an aliveness behind it. It's like, oh, wait, you know what? I realize now I have personal power. I realize now I can do whatever I want to do. And I'm excited to do something that is more me, more passionate, more purposeful. And there's energy of enthusiasm and optimism behind it. One is discouraged, one is empowered. Either way, we're here. So let's go. Let's go. Wherever you are meeting me from, I might be really annoying for you today. Maybe if you are in that place where you are discouraged and you are caught in up all this cultural mess that we are in right now and the media and all the negative vitriol out there, maybe it is hard to hear my enthusiasm for your future, but my enthusiasm for your future comes from science. And that is. I have spent 20 years in human behavior change. Now, 20 years in human behavior change I have spent feels like the vast majority of my adult life studying this topic through psychology, through neuroscience, through high performance studies, through philosophy and learning what does it really take for people to live an extraordinary quality of life that they architected, not that they were born into or lucked out of that. No matter where they came from, across personality profiles across the world, no matter where they were born, no matter what they were capable of, no matter what privileges they had or what difficulties they endured day by day. What are those things that we can all move the needle on to make life exceptional? And who wants that for this next year? I can see some of your faces out there. I see you. Look at this. This is crazy. We got over 600 people now in here. Guys, is this amazing? Come in here together. Hi, David. Hi, Bonnie. Hi, Ravi. What's up? I see you guys. Hi, Maria. Hi, Elaine. Thank you for joining us. I know we got people from all around the world. Hey, Brenda. We have people from over 70 countries who are Growth Day members. Roberto's in the house. Benoit, Alejandro, Sonia Lakesha, Sheila, I see your I actually see your faces. Hi, Diane. What's up, Kristen? Hi, Ub. What's up, Katya? Randy. I see her faces and what I'm enthusiastic about is no matter where you're at in your life, you can change, you can improve, you can make a difference. Wherever you're at in your relationships, you can deepen them, start them, improve them. No matter where you're at in your career, there is so much more mastery and abundance and impact available to you. No matter where you are at in your health, you don't have to feel so fatigued and tired and exhausted all the time. There is more energy for you. And I am not a guy here selling hopium. I am here to tell you that there are scientifically really well researched methodologies for taking back control of our life. Because you're going to hear me talk about this a lot today. The answer to what should I do with my life? Ultimately comes down to you taking back control of it and being more intentional for what you want. It begins with taking back control. It begins with personal empowerment. It begins with living each day with a little bit more intention, a little bit more congruence, a little bit more alignment to the things that matter and bring you alive. But I will tell you the answer. If you have been with us in Growth Day, you know that triangle? That triangle is I discovered after 20 years of coaching people, no questions asked, no matter what you have been through. Every person I have met on this planet traveling the globe, speaking to arenas of 20, 30,000 people, coaching celebrities, CEOs, heads of state, Olympians. I don't care if it's someone who I met for the first time, who's she's just having her first mom and she's overwhelmed and I'm working with her, or it's a group of people or it's a corporation. The answer is we all want these three things. More of them. It's about aligning towards them. The first thing we all want more of is a sense of aliveness. Mental aliveness, physical aliveness, spiritual aliveness. That sense that you might call more of the positive range of emotions, right? That aliveness that comes and we feel. When we have joy, when we feel love, when we feel enthusiasm, optimism, readiness, confidence, excitement. When we have adventure, when we have that sense of intellectual curiosity, when we have those things that we're passionate about or obsessed about in a healthy way that just, oh, I've loved this. And we geek out about it or we geek, really double down on it. That sense of aliveness intellectually Spiritually, emotionally, physically. We all want more of that. Your job, align with that. Align with that more often. Bring more of that into your life. We'll talk about a lot of the how in this session. And of course, we equip you with that every single day in growth day. Another thing we'll be talking about today is connection. That we all want a deeper connection with ourselves and with those around us. What should you do with your life? Research shows across almost every study in psychology and sociology, you should create deeper relationships. You want to know a simple answer? Create deeper relationships. People who create deeper relationships live longer. And they live long, longer, happier. The world's largest study of those who live the longest, they broke it down. What's their secret? They drink a certain kind of coffee, you know, or a certain kind of wine. Is it. They live in the blue zones. Is it. What is it about them? No. The one thing that unites the world's longest studies of happy, long, living people, great relationships. And they didn't have to have 50 or 60 or 100 of them. They had one to five key great, deep, meaningful relationships. Some of you got 10 great friends. You're more blessed than you could ever imagine. And so what should you do with your life? Create deep relationships. Third thing we always talk about in growth day is meaningful pursuits. Now, this is where it turns out, most people have this question, well, what should I do with my life? Meaning in their lives. They're looking at their career or their mission or purpose, and they're just going, I don't know what I should do with my life. I don't know what I should do with my life. And so the answer, though, is in that phrase. Meaningful pursuits. Write it down. If you've never been with us before, meaningful pursuits. What should you do with your life? Meaningful pursuits. Now, I don't want to be too prescriptive here, because I actually have a new framework for you as well. For those who might have heard these concepts before. Awesome. You're going to spend your entire life aligning to that which makes you feel alive, because it will change in your teens, to your twenties, to your thirties, to your forties, to your fifties, won't it? How many of you felt like, what brings you alive or makes you feel great has changed in the last two years alone, you know? Come on, I see all those hands. Yes, I am watching you. It has changed. We are different. Life is so much about alignment, not just achievement. We always got to realign to what is more true, more purposeful, more loving, more complete. For us at that stage of our life, it changes after you have kids. It changes after you start a company or exit a company. It changes after you move towns. What brings us alive shifts. What felt adventurous and fun in your 20s might not feel the same in your 40s or 50s. That's maturity. That's evolution. That's us growing in our consciousness and our conscientiousness. So I'm here to tell you it's okay if today you're struggling. It's okay today if you're not sure what to do. But by the end of the session, my job is to weave that model that we've taught you here in Growth Day before. And if you're totally new, great. You've got a lot of great answers right at the front. Your job align to what makes you feel more alive. Your job, deepen your relationships. Your job pursue those things that bring you more meaning and fulfillment. And in the middle of that triangle, that's growth day. In the middle of that triangle is growth. Growth because you can be happy and you can have good relationships and you can have a good job, meaningful pursuits. But a lot of people have that. And they still ask me, brendan, what should I do with my life? Even though they have aliveness, even though they have great relationships and meaningful pursuits, and they're still wondering because they sense inside there is something more that that inner side of that triangle right here in our heart, that aspect, that calling for potential, for growth, for challenging ourselves. A lot of people have it dang good, really good. I mean, top 1% good. And they're still wondering what they should do with their life. They sell their company for a billion bucks, and they're still wondering what they should do with their life. Even though they have it good, there's that impulse to grow that is not something for you to fear. That is something for you to tap into. Love. Never feel discouraged that you don't know what you should do. If you feel an impulse to be or do or serve more, that's a good thing. Your ambition, most of your life, you were taught to run away from it. People thought, oh, you're crazy dreams. Oh, who do you think you are? Who does she think she is? Well, she's somebody who appears to be living her life unconcerned with who you think she should be. That is who she is. Good. Go. Let's go. I think what we have to realize is that you have an opportunity to grow. And because you know that, because you feel that in your heart, because you feel that in Your heart. You are here today. That is what makes growth day so amazing, is we all know. We all know it in our heart. There is something more. There is something more. I ask it in the first sentence of my book, the motivation manifesto. Why is it a people so blessed with the heart of a lion consent to live as mice? Woo. That'll punch you right in the face, that first paragraph. Motivation manifesto. If you need a good read this time of year, check that one out. But I bring all this up because today I got a new framework to share with you. I'm going to share some things, what I've learned in coaching people all these years, and I hope that will serve you. And for those who need some more individual attention, we will have some answers for that as well. As many of you guys know, if you are watching this and you are in growth day, we provide free group coaching sessions where you can hop on and actually talk with a coach and get a little more clarity, one on one. Obviously, I am broadcasting to what looks like over 1000 people between the different zooms and the groups and the apps and wherever we are at. So if you want that individual attention, we do free group coaching sessions. And you can schedule or sign up for that. My team will put that in the chat. And if you want me to help you figure out your career, that's different. Because I have a specific career. I'm in the creator or influencer career. I have a mastermind for that that requires an application. You know, I usually charge literally over $100,000 for that type of thing. So that might not be your thing. My job here today is to provide a new framework for you to remind you of some of the things you already know. But maybe they're not common practice. They're common sense, but not common practice. And to help, I hope, empower, inspire you with some new frameworks, I'm going to begin today. I thought about how can I do this in a way I usually wouldn't. Now, I wouldn't usually begin with do's and don'ts, but that's what I want to do. Today I shared some things you're going to be doing, you know, well, you're going to realign to that which brings you aliveness. You're going to deepen your relationships. You're going to pursue those things that bring you more meaning and fulfillment and you're going to tap into that impulse to grow. Now at this stage of your life, unapologetically, it is your time to grow. It is your time to challenge Yourself. Because if the only challenges are in your life are the challenges that the world throws at you, you're not yet living consciously. If the only troubles and problems and challenges you face in your life right now are the ones the world threw at you, it means you're not setting up challenges for yourself. You're not consciously growing. You should have difficulties and problems and obstacles that you set up on purpose like a runner would. You know, if you're a runner, you just. You could go out for a run every single day. But once in a while, runners going, you know what? I got to put a marathon in front of me. I got to put a, you know, 5K in front of me. I got to put a. I'm going to run up that hill. That's 10 miles. I got to, you know, they got to put the challenge in front of them. Everyone can figure out a way to run, but a professional says, I'm going to put some obstacles in front of my way. And you're a professional striver. If you're in this gro de community, you always hear me call you a striver because you're striving for that potential. You're willing to put up, you know, hold that spear of purpose in the morning, which is intention, and throw it out there as far as you can, and then march diligently and faithfully towards that sphere of purpose, that intention you cast out that day, pick it up the next morning, throw it again. You don't have to be able to throw it a million miles or 10 years out with your goals or to the end of your life or your life's purpose, but every day, starting with great intention to become the best person you can be. That's what you should do with your life, and you should write that down. What should I do with my life? Start every day with the intention to be the best person I can be. Write it down. What's the purpose? What should I do with my life every day? Start with the intention to be the best person you can be. Most people just get up and go, where's the coffee? Can I make it through the day? You are Growth Day members, strivers, people who understand the power of personal development, self improvement, people who make self improvement a way of life. You read the books, you listen to podcasts, you take the courses, you go to the seminars. You do the deep work of being in Growth Day. You track your habits, you. You work on your mindset because you're tired of being unhappy. And you also want to be a better human being. Those of us who are striving for that potential, striving for living our best lives, that's what unites us. And you and I both know lots of people who don't do that. That's why I admire you. I admire you because you're willing to do that. You're willing to show up here today to ask some difficult questions. Questions to do the hard work. And I'm going to begin with a list of don'ts. I've got a list of what? I got five, six don'ts here that might help you. And this comes from all those years of coaching people. I realize when they're trying to figure out what they should do with their life, they. They sometimes don't start in the right place, or sometimes they kind of screw it up along the way. Hands raised as well on this side. This is not a preaching session, I hope. This is a sharing session. I've been through it as well. I've had plenty of those dark nights of the soul where you sit there and going, what am I doing? This thing didn't work. She said that. Is this going to pan out? That failed. They're making fun of me. I mean, gosh, I've been through it just like you have. I've been fired. I've been laid off. I've had deals fall through. I've broken most of the bones in my body. Not on purpose. I've had a lot of accidents and trauma and difficulties in my life just like anybody else. But along the way, personal development has saved me every single time. And so I think by doing the work over the long term, we can really change our lives and make next year extraordinary. And who's ready for that next year, like having a more extraordinary life, a more extraordinary year. That's a dedication. That's a proclamation. You should write it down somewhere, capture in your notes. This is a day of proclamation. Not me making it for you, you making it for yourself. It's what we call a declaration. It's a demarcation line in the sand. You must have those demarcation lines in the sand in your life, where that was how I used to be. That's what I tolerated before. That's what I used to be about. And today I change. Today I become more intentional, more conscious, more loving, more thoughtful, more powerful, more capable. Today I work on myself. Today I put myself in motion. Even if, like me, you're a hot mess, okay? It's okay to be a hot mess. I just want you to be a hot mess in motion. Versus a hot mess, discouraged, sitting there, never taking action to see what you're really made of. Because what you are made of is potential that was gifted to you, beyond you. You were made of something. Whether you believe God graced you with breath and life, or you believe that the universe, out of the impossible improbability of trillions of possibilities in the very second you were conceived, that you are here, wherever you believe fate or destiny lies. What I do know is that you get to choose tomorrow morning what you are going to be about, how you are going to show up, how you are going to treat others. And that is a great blessing. An extraordinary possibility, an extraordinary potential. And we often screw that up pretty good. So today I am going to share with you some of the don'ts. I hope it serves you. And I hope you will allow me to have some fun with you today. I am in great spirits for the New Year because I know exactly how much you can change. I just know it. No matter where you are from, no matter how bad it seems or how great it seems, there is another level. But the next level doesn't have to be as stressful, overwhelming, difficult, frustrating and uncertain as the last level. That the next level can be so much more graceful, so much more intentional, so much more free and loving. We get to choose that I love. That gets me up every single morning. Who's excited for a new chapter out there? I see you. I see. Effie is ready. Adela's ready. Who else is out there for a new chapter in your life, a new stage? I can actually see you. Roberto's ready. Dr. Dooney's ready. Dara's ready. Tatiana is ready. Son Yi is ready. Pedro is ready. This is the time. This is the time that we improve ourselves. This is the time we get going. So here is how not to screw it up. Let's start with the not screw it up list, okay? And then we will get into some frameworks that will help you kind of identify what will make you feel alive, what will be meaningful, what will bring you closer with others, what will make you feel more fulfilled. A couple things not to do, I think. Number one, don't minimize yourself. Don't minimize yourself. Forgive me for being so directive at the beginning of training. Stop speaking so negatively to yourself. It's old, it's tired. That pattern needs to die this year. You discounting yourself. You constantly berating yourself, calling yourself names. You're so stupid. God, why am I so ugly? Why did I suck? All that negative self talk that goes out the Door that was allowed in high school when we were adolescents. In maturity, we take control of this. This is no longer a reactive machine built eons ago. It's a new year. It's a new time in your life. It's a stage in your life. You go, I need to get more conscious about what I'm saying to myself. Because that is the reason I don't feel good. That is the reason I don't have what I want. That is the single thing I can control at the highest level, with the deepest impact to improve my life. How you talk to yourself and all the minimization. Am I ready? Am I capable? I'm not like her. She's better. Oh, they're special. I'm not. All that narrative, that storytelling that you do that minimizes who you are and what you're capable of, that was built on the last chapters. But you don't get to build and architect the dream future by trying to relive old hurts, old stories and old narratives about who you are. It doesn't work that way. If you keep minimizing yourself at work, you don't get ahead. If you keep minimizing yourself in your head, you don't get ahead. This is the year that you take real control over your thoughts. What should you do with your life? Get control of your thoughts. Write it down. What should I do with my life? Get control of my thoughts. Write it down. What should I do with my life? Get control of my thoughts. Write it down. That's why you're here. You're notetakers. Strivers are learners. Learners are notetakers. Not because I'm so smart. Because when you write down an idea, it opens up other realms to you by writing. The best ideas of my life came from study. Reading a book, taking notes, an idea pops up. Being in a seminar, being in a broadcast like this, writing down, something comes up. This is the time for you to capture these ideas. What should I do with my life? Take control of those thoughts. Omg. Think of how many times you've questioned yourself right out of a good opportunity. That stops today. Think of how many times you thought you should express yourself and really share with your spouse or someone you loved or cared for what you really felt, what you really believe. But you thought, oh, that'll only cause conflict or I'll look stupid. Or, you know, I don't know. I always, every time I do that, I mess it up. And so you close the door on that opportunity for vulnerability and realness. It stops today. Why does it stop because you decide that you choking the life out of yourself is not the path forward. It's because you decide that you harming yourself is not the healthy way forward. It's because you decide that you're very aware at this stage of your life that you've been too hard on yourself. You decide that you wouldn't speak to other people the way that you speak to yourself in the mirror when you are trashing yourself, questioning yourself, bemoaning yourself. You wouldn't do that to other people. Don't do it to yourself. Why does it stop? Because you say, I'm going to get mindful of my thoughts. How? You're going to start journaling, you're going to open up your growth day app and every day it asks you what's on your mind, you're going to capture it and you're going to start noting is what I am writing and capturing and thinking of a positive nature that is building my future or of a negative tonality that is destroying my future. Because you don't get any other choices than that. You are building in your mind the future in which you anticipate and the person you want to architect. Or you are tearing down the potential that you have right now. And some of you have minimized yourself for so long you don't even know that you have potential. And maybe sometimes you need a new mentor. Maybe sometimes you need a broadcast like this. Maybe sometimes you need to be in a group like this or community like this to remind you, holy cow, you're still upset about something that happened five years ago. If you are, if something that happened years ago, a tragedy, a trauma, a difficulty, something that you haven't gotten to get over, and you've done the work, you've done the mindfulness work, maybe you've gotten a coach, you've read a book, you listen to all the podcasts and you're still struggling with them, then this is mental health day. To say get a therapist, seek to work with a professional to work through those issues. Because you deserve a better future. But sometimes you got to have freedom from the past first. But I can share with you the heart of all of therapy, coaching, personal development, it all comes back down to self awareness. And the first thing we must be mindful to is what our mind is telling us. And today we stop minimizing ourselves. For those of you who wanted to go to that next level in your life and you just wondered if you could, you will never know until you make the gallant and the faithful attempts, you will never know your full potential sitting rested, you will only know your full potential in motion, in action, in trying again and again and again. In adopting the learning mindset of life. Oh, I can learn. I can change, I can learn new things instead of being stuck in the fixed mindset that oh, I guess I'm like that because I was like that as a teenager or I was like that in my 20s or gosh, I was so crazy in my 30s. I'm here to tell you today, when it's a demarcation line, you get to now choose what you are about, what your life will be about, what you're going to build. And it starts in here. There is no more vital focus for you in your life than managing, understanding and improving your self talk. It's why growth day as tool is so important. It puts positivity, inspiration and research backed prompts in front of you every day. In the app you go to Journal press one of those growth prompts and it's going to ask you something about your life or prompt you to write something about your life that has a positive bent towards it. It's teaching you to write and reflect in a positive direction. That's why the research shows it's so powerful in changing your life. This is why I want you to understand Engaging in personal development in any way you can every day in our app or something else every day engaging in personal development. It's rewiring that self talk. It's why I listen to so many personal development podcasts. It's why some of you guys listen to the Brendan show on repeat in your workouts. It's you need these positive messages in your voice, in your head when all the other voices in the world right now are filled with anger and blame and upset and division. That's why I admire you for doing personal development and I love you guys for being here today. First thing, don't minimize yourself. Second thing, you want to be an exceptional human who remembers. Because think about this. Think about the connection to the model. I told you earlier, don't minimize yourself. Well, that means you're more likely to have more aliveness in your life because you like and respect yourself. You have esteem because you aren't speaking negative to yourself. Remember connection. Well, when you don't minimize yourself, you're willing to be vulnerable and open with people because you don't fear their judgment as much. Because even if they have judgment, you're not going to speak bad to yourself. You're not going to label yourself just because they have an opinion. Think about meaning meaningful pursuits. You're more likely to go for it, to chase that dream when you're not worried about whether or not you can, because you'll figure it out. You trust in your ability to figure things out, so you're more likely to pursue things that's important. So that don't is a big one, a vital one. Do you all like that one? That's like, bam, I'm hitting you with a sledgehammer right up front. That's so huge for you. Master that self talk now. You want to be a great human being. Moving on to connection a little bit. Don't minimize others. I have a saying, judge less, feel better. And a lot of people thought I started a big, huge movement about this in the first year of the pandemic. And a lot of people thought I meant just about the self. Judge yourself less and feel better. They didn't understand I was also teaching judge others less and you will feel better. You know all that impulse we have to go online on our phones. I guess this is the universal symbology for phones. I don't know why I just did that, but here you go. But you know how we go on there and we just. Mm, mm. And we want to judge them. Oh, look at her shirt. Oh, look at that. He's stupid. Oh, he said this, but it's not complete. What an idiot. That impulse to judge others has now been baked into you by a million motions. Here's what I mean by this. This thing right here, Every scroll, every swipe. Did you know that's training your mind to judge? Think about it. Do I look at it longer or not? That's a judgment, isn't it? Is this worthy of a heart or not? That's a judgment. Is this worthy of a. Like a share or not? That's a judgment. So what's happening is millions of times now over the Last what Since 2007, we have been taught to swipe, turn, scroll, like judge. And that judgment has built so much into us of an immediacy impulse to judge someone so fast. And we judge people so fast right now and often. What is that judgment? Good, bad, positive, negative. That's almost it entirely. And soon as we do that, good, bad, positive, negative. The more that we tilt towards negative because our ego gets in there. It's safe to have an ego from a distance so we can judge other people. The more that you contribute to this mess of negativity online, the more I promise you will feel the need to ask, what the hell am I doing with my Life haters don't like their life. And what ends up happening is the more judgment you issue out to others, meaning the less you're compassionate, understanding, empathetic, open, thoughtful, kind, then the more likely it is that you are suffering inside and causing more suffering. The more judgment you have about your neighbors, the more miserable you end up inside. I want you to think about that. The more judgment you have about your neighbors, the more miserable you end up inside. That person quit the job. You hate them. You judge them as idiots. Oh, that person you know did this thing that you didn't like. Oh, they're idiots. I hate them. The more that you do that, the more in your heart the negative energy starts to pervade. And the more that negative energy pervades, the less in tune you feel to the life that you desire, the more negativity inside for others, the less in tune you feel to the life that you desire, because you're stripping away that human desire and need for connection. And if you're a person of spirituality, of that universal belief in oneness, that we are all on this planet together, that the human story that you have is the same story as I have, even if we look different and we're from different places, you have days of progress and you have days of struggle, and guess what? So do I. So does your neighbor, and so does that Democrat or that Republican or that Tory or that person in that other department or that other policy. You know, all the ways that you separate, and we create these constraints in life, the more we end up harming one another. I have to share with this with you. If you minimize others, you're doing the same harm to yourself as when you minimize yourself by judging them. You are unconsciously judging yourself every time by judging them. Even if you don't feel that that's true, you're like, no, no, I'm not judging myself. Well, by judging them, you're placing yourself on a superiority plane. And from the place of superiority, we tend to make almost every mistake in our lives. When ego takes over, your life gets wrecked. And then one day you go, what the hell is going on in my life? Well, what's going on is the ego was at the reins, not your heart, not compassion, not empathy, not love. Ego is winning, not love. And over time, if ego keeps winning that battle over love, over compassion, over oneness, over unity, over and over and over and over and over again, we feel a dark thing inside. No matter how good our job is, no matter how much money we make, no matter how good our Six pack stabs are we become miserable people because we pretended that humanity is misery by judging it all. So you want to make a good life? You want to know what you should do with your life? Well, I can share one thing. Don't minimize yourself. Don't minimize others. And you're off to a damn good start. I hope this isn't too much for you guys enjoying this so far. I know it's throwing a lot at you here today, but I thought, well, if we got 800 people just in the one Zoom I'm in versus the others and the app, I don't know what's going on in this world. We're ready for this conversation. This is a good time to be in Growth Day. I appreciate you. If you like these comments, if you like this thing, do me a favor. Even while we're here, hop on Instagram, tell me thank you. Say that you love Growth Day. Send out people to growthday.com tell them what's happening in this world today. Say, hey, there's a positive place. These guys are talking about meaningful things in life versus politics. And I hope you'll do that. Share growthday.com with somebody who needs this kind of fire in their life. Pete's sake, let's do it. Let's improve together. Second, big idea I'd like to share with you here today. As a don't. I think you guys are like this one. The other one was pretty heavy. This one you'll just lack. You're going to celebrate. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This one. Don't burn out. Don't burn out. Burnout is a choice. We always pray victim and play victim to burnout without realizing. Burnout is ultimately a set of decisions that lead us there because burnout doesn't happen overnight, right? Burnout's not a daily thing. Burnout is a long, like the candle burned out. Like it took a long time for that to happen. So burnout is a series of decisions and habits that lead to complete overwhelm, exhaustion, fatigue, stress, where you're at the end of your rope, but that means you've been letting out the rope too much or climbing the wrong rope too long. And I don't know, do it at the end of that metaphor, but you get the idea. You're at the end of the rope. Burnout is real. Who had some burnout in the last couple of years? Be honest. I had about a three month bout of it during the first year of the pandemic. And it was intense. And I kept thinking, oh my gosh I have to do. I have to. I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have. Do you really have to do all those things or are you making the choice to do all those things? Or maybe you do have to do all those things. But do they have to be on that timeline that is stealing away from your sleep all the time now? Of course there's times of high intensity. You just had a newborn, you just started the business, you just got the promotion. You're trying to improve yourself. There's times of intensity. But even during times of intensity, high performers know we must build recovery into the day. Not burn out then take a vacation. Not burn out then retire. Not burn out then sell the thing. No. We must learn to strive in harmony with real dedication towards our mental and physical health. Wellness is. And the wellness category and what we teach in personal development with all our wellness oriented teaching here is to help you avoid burnout. Notice it's decisions and habits that leads to burnout. Decisions. Sometimes saying yes when you should have said no. How many can realize that a lot of the times you burned out was because you should have said no? Set some boundaries. So in this demarcation line today, in building the next stage for yourself, you're going to learn to say no. You're going to set some boundaries. How do you do it? You say no. How do you do it? You set boundaries. Literally, you say no. I'm sorry, I have so much on my plate already that has been scheduled for weeks or months. I'm sorry, I can't take on another project right now. You say no, I'm sorry. You know what? I've already booked this week and I just can't get that in. I understand that that's an immediate need for you, but I've planned this for a long time. You say no. You know what? I'm right now I'm really booked until December. 12 months out. I'm booked out for. And you just let them know you just say no, period. You don't need more training on it. The reason you don't say no more. Yeah, you got it. Because you're minimizing yourself. Think about that. One way that we minimize ourselves is to make ourselves victim. Well, I don't have a choice. I'm not in control here. So I'll just say yes. I guess I have to please everybody. Do you know the ultimate people pleasers are the ultimate minimizers of self? Write it down. The ultimate people pleasers are the ultimate minimizers of self in seeking to Please everybody else. They're doing it because they're minimizing themselves. They don't feel worthy. And so I must please everyone else because I haven't taught myself self worth. So I find my worth in saying yes and playing doormat to everybody. So at least I can have some control over that narrative that I'm the martyr or I'm the victim or worse. It's simply because I don't like and respect myself. And I hope that by being slave to their needs I can find some of that self worth. Yeah, I know that's hard to say because I'm also and have been a dedicated card carrying member of the people pleaser camp for most most of my early years and my twenties. And then one day around my 30th birthday I thought, gosh, I do a lot for other people. That tends to push me into burnout. I don't want stress, overwhelm and anxiety to be part of my life anymore. I'm going to have to decide to say no and set some boundaries. I didn't need permission to do it. I didn't need to say anybody. Here's how to say no. Brendan. I didn't have to read a book on how to say no. What I'd said was no. You don't need 500 pages to learn how to say no. You need two letters, N, O, followed by a comma, followed by sorry, can't. There you go. If you need more instruction on the replay, I hope this serves you. I'm trying to be real for you. And again, listen, if this is too abrupt, I'm a high performance coach. This is my job. My job is to challenge you, challenge your thinking, challenge how you're showing up in the world in a compassionate way. And I can do it compassionate because I've been there too, just like you. And I've guided so many millions of people through this that if we just don't say it straightforward, we don't achieve the ends. And the ends are today. You decide to start saying no more. You set some boundaries. You no longer allow burnout in your life. How else do we avoid burnout? We ask for help. The ultimate habit in avoiding burnout isn't getting up and working out earlier though that helps. It is about asking for help. It is being clear on no's, setting boundaries and asking for help. And some of you, you asked for help six months ago and you gave up because they said no or they were too busy. Strivers ask for help on the weekly. We're tenacious about seeking mentors, tenacious about seeking support, tenacious about hiring if we have to hire. Tenacious about getting support by asking mentors or our network. We don't give up because one said no. We find the support, period. That is your future. The old school of all those chapters of you not asking for help and grinning and bearing and dealing with all by yourself. That's why you got burned out. The belief that only you could handle it. The belief that you had to do everything. That's what leads to burnout. I have to do it all. And what guides us there? Minimizing ourselves or ego? I mean, in a world of 7 billion people, you're the only one who can do what you do. That takes a lot of ego to believe. The only one. Whoa. I don't even believe I'm the only one who can be here having this conversation with you. I train and certify high performance coaches all around the world who I believe do just what I do just as good as I do. That belief that we're the only ones, that's dangerous outside of some parenting mechanisms, parenting situations here and there. But even parents can ask for help. And so it's important to realize that if you're burning out, it's time to look at those decisions. Saying no, setting boundaries, asking for help, and then habits. See, a lot of people who burn out, they just don't have a habit of planning. With all due respect, burnout tends to happen for people who plan less. And by the way, that's not my opinion. It's our high performance research studies. We can tell that people who report burnout also report that they plan their week less on Sunday or Monday, so they're not looking forward to the week as much. People who burn out have fewer written down goals. People who burn out tend not to have quarterly or yearly goals because they've lost that long term perspective. They're in firefighting mode, which is reaction mode. They're always in reaction mode. And when you're always in reaction mode, you burn out. Period. I mean, don't you think there's a reason that the medical industry, the firefighting industry, you know, the emergency response industries, they have shifts. You have shifts because if you're in reaction mode all the time, you can burn out. Well, the same thing is true for every normal human being here who's not a hero, that you'll burn out if you don't plan? This is why I personally, I use the growth day plan section of the app all the time. I plan. You guys heard Me talk about it. Friday finishers. So on Sundays I go in there, I set a plan for the whole week, I layer out my major to do lists and I make sure I have a Friday finisher in there. Friday finishers are the things that I will deliver by the end of the week. This helps me organize myself by the beginning of the week. Many of you know I use my high performance planner, which you guys can buy on Amazon. A high performance planner. I use that like I write down, I mean literally right here. So I fill out my high performance planner in the morning. I like to write. A lot of these questions are in your growth day app. But I like to. I'm a physical person. I like to write. I also read books, like real ones, like, you know, books like this. I have to show it to people. Somebody see, that's a book. I still read the real ones. I can't help it. I'm a reader and a writer. I gotta do it. So I like to do that. I still journal and I'm one of those dorks. I like to really like the nice journals, you know, fancy ones, you know, because I'm thinking these are my thoughts about life. Sometimes it looks like scribbles, but I still do that every day. Why? Because I want to get that intention for the day. Sometimes what you should do with your life is make sure that you start each day with greater intention. So it's more likely that you're enjoying your life no matter what stage you're at. So I like to make sure I avoid burnout by making sure I have a plan. Part of that plan is making sure that I've also planned in free time, recovery workouts, meditation walks with my wife, phone calls with my friends, meaning personal things in the schedule that recharge me. When I work with a client, I'll often ask them literally in the first hour of working with a client. And many of you know, as a high performance coach, I kind of coined that in our industry anyway and ended up being the person who certified everybody to become a certified high performance coach. And I'm blessed to work with people at the seven figure level, meaning it's over a million dollars for me to work one on one with somebody as a client in high performance coaching. Now sounds obnoxious, I know, but listen, how simple one of those conversations is in that first hour with them. I'll often ask them, share with me your recharge schedule. Write that phrase down, would you everybody? Recharge schedule. What is your recharge schedule? If you don't have one. You are more likely to burn out than someone who does. That's not only obvious and ethnographic, but it's just real that if you are always just running and reacting, that's the path to the stress and the overwhelm that makes you throw up your hands one day and go, what the f am I doing with my life? I'm exhausted. I'm burned out. I hate my life. A life that you hate is always rooted in a life of reaction versus intention. A life that you hate is always rooted in reaction versus intention. That's why personal development asks so much about intention. One of my great mentors, great friends, and dearly missed friends is Dr. Wayne Dyer. I know many of you guys learned from Wayne Dyer. I did. He wrote a great book on the power of intention. And one of my intentions is to continue spreading his message after he passed away. And he was a great motivator and difference maker in my life. And I wrote the forward to his last post, Hoff Post Life book. And I think about the difference that made my life to realize how vitally important intention is every day. And then all my mentors I met, you know, as I work with them, as I started working with Oprah Winfrey, she starts every meeting with, what's our intention for this meeting? She says, the most powerful word in the world is intention. It's like, wow, okay, we got to get real clear. Every day, the more intentional we are. And here's the thing. When your life sucks, you think, ugh, intention's stupid because you believe you can't change or move the needle because that fixed mindset has taken over, that self talk of minimization has taken over. So you can't even fathom the starting the day with intention because you say, I have no choice. But the second you say, I have no choice, you are slave to the negative narrative in your head. You got way more choice than you think. Way more choice than you think. Every person has more choices every single day than they could possibly fathom. From what to eat to what to watch, to what to scroll through, to who to listen to, to how to do their work, to when and where and where and how to escalate or ask for help. There are way more choices every single day than you can fathom that can help change your life. But it takes that intention back to the burnout topic so often, we don't set that recharge schedule. I wrote a whole book, literally, called the charge, activating the 10 human drives that make you Feel alive because so many people were struggling with aliveness. And I had been struggling with too. I had had a brain injury. I got in an accident in Mexico in 2000, and that one was 2011, and I was severely injured. I snapped my wrist clean off, broke a couple ribs, dislocated my shoulder, threw out my hip, and ended up getting post traumatic brain injury. And I really struggled for a long time. I didn't feel aliveness, and I really had to learn to build in the opportunities to meditate each day, the opportunities to do things that would engage my brain again. It was a long road to recovery, and I really learned because I was so tired all the time, because I was physically so hurt. How important recharging was that? Recharging needs to be a proactive exercise, not something you do when you're already burned out. Most people burn, burn, burn, burn, and then die. Exhaustion, get sick, they're out for days to recover. That's not a way to live. And you've heard me teach about this in growth day all the time. The idea of the pit stop, that we must learn to take pit stops, that the high performance car that is in that big race, the high performance vehicle takes pit stops every couple of laps. Not because it actually needs it. It could keep going. It could keep going really fast. It takes it so it can keep going faster later on. Longer. The pit stop is the refuel, the recharge. So your stamina exists longer. People always, like, are amazed if they come into my life and they're in my mastermind as an example, and they're like, how do you get so much done? I'm like, I don't burn out. It's like I have to flip the script there. Wait, what? How do you get so much done? I don't burn out. That's the answer. If you don't burn out, your stamina is longer, you have more endurance, you don't crash, and then weeks or days of recovery. So burnout. Remember, say no set boundaries, ask for help, and make sure you built in recharging throughout your day. I recharge every hour on the hour. If that means I get up from my computer and take a walk around the house, if that means I do some vinyasa flow, I stand in place, I bounce, I close my eyes, I take 10 deep breaths. It can be as simple as that. That recharge is everything. And because I'm recharging all day, it's like a pit stop throughout the day, I'm still finishing the race. Strong way Ahead of everybody else who had to get up at 3 o' clock because they were wiped out already. I hope that makes sense. Last thing on Burnout, of course, is if you've not ever taken a year to get in the best year. Sorry, if you've never taken a year to get in the best health of your life and to create the best sleep of your life, make that this year. I'll be talking about that on a future broadcast quite a bit. And if you need some advice on that, check out my YouTube channel. Check out other training we've done in Growth Day. All the teachers, we took on sessions on stress and wellness. And you can find that if you're pro members by going to watch past events in the app under the learn section. Okay, next up. Oh, you're going to like this one. You're going to like this one especially because we like to judge things so much, but you're going to like this one another. Don't. Don't participate in drama and gossip, period. Can I get a. Let me see some hands raised up in this place. Let me see some hands raised. Don't participate in drama and gossip. Get out of that game. Get out of that story. End the nonsense. No more drama. Ladies and gentlemen, don't participate. Oh, my gosh. You should hang out with me sometime. If I go up and remember back in the days, you go into cafe, you know, where you go get the coffee, I get the green tea. But I go in there and I'll talk. I'll see some people, I walk up to them, start chatting with them and inevitably I'll be around three or four people and they're all just, forgive the language. But they're all just bitching and moaning. They're just complaining. They're just, you know, talking about, she did this down the block and did you see what she said to her kids? And they're talking about, oh, this weather is just so terrible. And did you see what the government did? And their face looks like this. Oh, my God. I'm just like, oh, oh, oh, I'm out. I take a sip of my tea and I'm like, I'm out of there. You want to gossip about your co workers? I'm out of there. You want to come to a party and talk about the neighbor? I'm out of there. You won't see me nowhere. Where'd Brandon go? He's out of there. You can't get me to talk negatively about people. You can't get me to listen to gossip about people. You can't get me. I don't. There's nothing in that for you. Nothing productive comes from it except making you feel superior. The reason you do it is because it gives you an ego hit. It gives you that judgment hit. Oh, right. She or he or they are less than me. And some people go, no, no, no, Brandon, you don't understand. Human beings are storytellers. I'm like, yes, but storytelling is very different than gossiping and creating false dramas. Gossiping and false dramas are a root of ego and evil. Storytelling to build a future, to create a family, to connect and build bonds and to survive, that's evolutionary storytelling. For ego drama, false narratives, and hatred, that's ego and evil. Those are very different things. And we've got to learn that again as a society. I see a ton. You have to imagine we've got, what, 5 million fans on Facebook? 10 million fans across all of my properties. You can imagine how much nonsense I see, how many things of just, like, awful accusations and mean things said and, Brennan, you wearing that shirt again? And I hate your face and your haircut and everything else, too. I mean, oh, my God, I see it all day. I don't ever engage with it. I never engage with it because let that burn itself out. Let that negativity and that drama and that gossip. Let that burn out. Because you know what? People who attach to that, they just jump onto the next wagon, too. They just. They're always hopping onto the next thing to get angry about without realizing. That's why their feet aren't on the ground and they're not happy. If you're always hopping on the next gossip train, always hopping on the next hate train, your feet aren't on the ground. You can't feel grounded in self. You can't feel grounded and connected in spirit. You can't feel grounded in forward momentum. You're being pulled along by the drama train, and so you've lost control of your own life. Connection with yourself and connection with something higher, that's the stakes. That's the odds. That's what you got to understand. That will change your life. The second you get that, it will put you right back into spirit, right back into oneness, right back into compassion and empathy. And even if you don't believe in any of that stuff and you think I'm too foo foo Brendan. Well, at least it'll take you off the hate train. Judge less, feel better. You got to make sure that you're not part of these conversations. Even if your ego says, I got to jump in here, self mastery is those moments when we feel like we have to jump into something that's negative. The discipline to not. That's hard. Now, as soon as I share this, people always say, well, Brendan, you don't understand. There's criticism and there's things you have to engage in that are movements and they're positive. I totally agree. Those are very different things I'm talking about right here. I totally agree. There's a lot of criticism that's constructive. There's a lot of feedback we have to listen to. There's a lot of issues that we have to fight for. And we can do that in positive, constructive, thoughtful, mature, adult manners versus what we are seeing online today that is making everybody miserable. We have a choice here. One way makes us miserable, divided and disconnected. The other one makes us feel grounded, productive, and improves the future. We have to choose. Is what I am doing right now building what I should be doing with my life, or is it taking me in a reaction and drama? I just don't give time to a lot of that reaction and drama, gossip stuff. And guess what I do at those hours? I build the future I want. I spend time with family, I earn more money. I put myself out there more. I take more risks, I write more emails, I talk with more of you guys. I build better things in growth day. See, people don't realize those little 30 minute conversations of gossip and trauma. Those also have been shown in sociology and productivity research to pull you away from your core tasks of the day by two hours. So every distraction we have into a negative conversation, which tends to be gossip or dramatizing things, pulls us away from our core task by two hours. Well, I know people have these conversations all day. It's why they feel like they're not. I'm like, I don't have any momentum in my life. Nothing's ever happening for me. Oh no, something's happening for you. I watched the hours, the hours went by and what was happening for you was crap talking. That's what was happening. There's something happening, it just ain't positive and that's why you're miserable. We got to change that demarcation line for all of us today. No more participating in negativity, drama, gossip. And the second you make that decision, I just bought you back dozens of hours of your life every week or every month, every quarter, every year. And soon as you get that time back, you get momentum towards your goals and dreams. That's what I want you to do with your time. Always realize, always Realize that time is scarce. Soon as you get that time is scarce. I want to feel alive. Connection with others and humanity is important and I need to be doing things that are meaningful. Guess what? You don't get sucked into the drama. You're done with it. And life feels a whole lot better now. I warned you earlier, forgive me. I said I'd do something today I usually don't do, which is this. I usually. I'm not the don't guy. So this whole training on things not to do, I usually don't do that. But I think people over complicate this question of what should I do with my life? Because they're not asking how should I be in life? And if you ask how should I be in life? More often, you realize you already know those impulses, aliveness, connection, meaningful pursuits. But you also realize it's time to have a little don't list here. And I should maybe possibly stop minimizing myself and others and burning myself out and participating in gossip and drama and I'll feel better. And I will say this. The more aligned you are to intention every day and the less you are pulled into the drama and the negativity. The funniest thing is you stop even asking what should I do with my life? Because you know, you're on track. It's when we are pulled into the trains of others, especially the negativity of others. That's when we start wondering, what's my life about? Because internally, in our hearts, our minds, our spirit, and the messages from above, I believe we realize we're wasting time and thus wasting life. I hope that serves as just a way to think about it because I think you deserve to have outstanding conversations with people, positive ones. If you don't hear this kind of messaging everywhere else, come back to growth day. We're here. We're here for you every single week. We're live teaching you, putting the goodness and the energy out in the world. We're having conversations that aren't mired in the politics of division or the next crazy conspiracy theory about this or that or, you know, this side versus that side. We're about you. We're about, hey, let's improve ourselves, let's improve this world. We can do this. I'm the optimistic, the hopeful, I'm the believer. I know because I've seen people change. The people who have, people who are pessimists have never been paid to help people change their lives. Once you have been engaged to change people's lives and you see what's possible, you go, I'm an optimistic now. Once you've actually read any books in the biography section, remember that's what these are. You know, you go there, I got a tease. I'm just doing it for the young ones. Just for the young ones. I promise. Just for the young ones. But once you've read a few biographies, you're an optimist. Once you see what Churchill or Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Or Mother Teresa or Nelson Mandela or any great leader from the past, what they all went through in building their businesses, leading their revolutions, changing science, politics and the future of humanity, when you see what they've been through, you realize what's possible. When you work with people, you realize what's possible. If you're somebody who doubts what's possible for yourself, I want to encourage you to do something. Today we have a free group coaching session. This is available to all Growth Day members. My team will put just that link in the chat. It is a free group coaching session. We are scheduling them all out for January right now. So if you haven't scheduled yours, you can schedule it and you get to hop on to a group coaching session. Usually like five, six people talk with a certified high performance coach and just develop better habits and develop a better mindset and feel better about life again. You all deserve that. That's why we make it available for all of our awesome members. Please be under. Please do understand that you might have quite a few people go on that website today. Next up, the last. Don't. Well, maybe, maybe it's two, it's, maybe it's three don'ts in one. But forgive me, I'm going to try here, but let me. I'll go through it one by one and I think this will be important for everybody. Don't forget to celebrate and integrate the wins. Don't forget to celebrate and integrate the wins. What should I do with my life? Well, align with those things that make you feel alive, deepen your relationships, chase meaningful pursuits and grow. And don't forget along the way to celebrate and to integrate the wins. Now these are two different things. By the way, lots of people celebrate, but they don't integrate the win. I want you to do both. Celebrate means, hey, you had a good day? Great. Go for a walk. Tell your spouse about it. Celebrate. Call a friend. Celebrate. Celebration for the human species is about social sharing. Yes, you can crack open that champagne by yourself and celebrate. But when you share the win with somebody else, whole different level of impact in your heart and your soul. That is Celebrating share it with other people. Small wins. I put on my website today, I got that promotion. I said I was going to complete that project. I completed it. It's OK to celebrate and talk about your wins. We still live in a society where we're supposed to be all coy about our wins and our achievements. I'm like why? By the way, I'm not one of those people. I don't show you my jet and my cars and my houses and I'm not that person of like look at me celebration. But if we hang out, we talk. I'm like oh my gosh, I finished my book last night. Oh you know, I really want to donate to this thing. I got to do it. I celebrate the things that I'm doing that are meaningful pursuits. That's important. But integrating the wins is something separate. Integrating the wins means you sit with the win, you meditate on it and you acknowledge yourself. You acknowledge your efforts, you acknowledge the outcome and you cheer yourself on to keep going. You integrate into your psyche, into your identity, a person who is capable, a person who manifested something, a success. You speak to yourself in such a way that you acknowledge your effort, you acknowledge the impact and you say keep going. What it does is it builds a character that knows it's capable. And so many of us, you've achieved a ton of things but you've never given yourself any credit for any of it. So you're still with the self esteem of a teenager when you should be a capable, confident 45 year old woman. I know you're not a 45 year old woman. Apologize. But you get the idea. Some of you are still sharing your insecurities as high school students. Even though you have a job, you have a house, you've made your house payment, you're doing good work in the world and you're still lacking all self esteem. Why you were never taught and you never learned to integrate the win. Integrating the wind can be as simple as at the end of the day to sit down and journal on the good things that happen. Acknowledge that you worked hard for it, cheer yourself on as someone who is capable and tell yourself to keep going. You that simple. You can celebrate yourself just for being alive and surviving this far. Many of you in Growth day took Mel Robbins free High five challenge. Any high fivers out there? Any high five challenge members out there? Let me see here. I got to see who's taking the high five challenge. I'm just kidding. Y' all gave me one of these. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can still do it in the Growth Day app for free anytime that you want. High five challenge. Oh my gosh, we did that with Mel Robbins. So amazing. It's. What was it? That's a challenge of self encouragement, isn't it? And it was so powerful for people because so many, few people have ever looked themselves in the mirror and actually seen themselves acknowledge themselves and cheered themselves on. And some people need to do the Montana style. Like Mel and I joked during the challenge is because like for me, I don't high five myself in the mirror. I need a lot of work. So I'm like, I'm like, I'm like a choo choo train of high fives in that mirror in the morning. I'm telling you what, I need a lot of work, but I cheer myself on. That makes all the difference. Don't forget to celebrate and integrate the wins. Another. Don't forget, don't forget to love. I want you to fall in love. I want you to fall madly, deeply, stupidly, beautifully in love. I want you to fall in love with yourself. I want you to fall in love with other people. I want you to fall in love with the process. I want you to. I want love coming out your ears. I want you to hear someone talking hate and you only feel love and compassion. I want you to recognize the suffering of other human beings and feel it in your heart and your soul. I want you to have that bravery, that courage that is to love. I want you to have it. You got to cultivate it. I know a lot of people, let me tell you what a lot of people these last couple years of my life coaching these literally billionaires. I've coached three billionaires in the last couple years here. Now. I mean, let me tell you what. I met them, I met their circle of friends. I've been traveling in, you know, levels way above where I come from or I even feel like I'm capable of sometimes. But I don't minimize myself. I've been in rooms with presidents. I've sat down across from presidents for hours at a time. I've been in the room where it happens. And many of these people are outstanding achievers, but many of them are unhappy because along the way they learned to over guard their heart. Along the way they, some of them became callous, but the happy ones didn't, they didn't let themselves become callous, dismissive, negative, cut off from humanity. And I asked, there were a couple of them. I started noticing I had a pattern. So I started getting curious about this. And here's what had happened, the difference between the two, those who became callous, those became happy at the highest levels. The major difference, love was present in their life or it was not. Some of them were in relationships, but they weren't in love because they shut off their heart valve. Some of them have great people around them, but they had no love. They had a lot of servants. They had a lot of people who complied. They had a lot of yes men, but they have no love because they didn't cultivate relationships that were vulnerable and honest and leading with the heart. This is everything. This is everything. Don't do all this damn work you're doing without love. Don't travel through this many relationships in this many decades of your life without love. And I know this can bring up for some people, I don't have anyone in my life right now. Brendan, I'm like, you can still lead each day through your heart and stay connected to the love that is in your heart versus becoming callous and detached because you don't have love. Stay open. In other words, stay open. I've been that person who went to the brink of that. Some of you guys know my story that I had broken up with the first woman I ever loved. We thought we were gonna get married, and love went right out. My heart just gone. And I fell into depression and then suicidal thoughts and then suicidal planning because I didn't feel it. I didn't feel any heart. I didn't feel any love. I thought it was taken away. I thought it was so unfair. I thought it was so awful. This person cheated on me. I felt, you know, the angriest I've ever been. I said the worst things I've ever said to people during that time. I was just awful because I was so broken. And I realized real quick that at the end of our lives, we're going to ask, did I live? And we'll ask, did I love? Because at the end of your life, you wonder, who's still around, who cares about you? Who do you care about? Who are you worried about? Who's worried about you? And you think about the impact you had on the people around you, and it comes down to love. I promise you read any end of life book, any book about the end of life, any book from any psychiatrist, psychologist, or caregiver who's ever cared for anyone at the end of life. It's all about. About love and human compassion. Don't let that escape you during your day. Some of you, you go all week, you replied to 300 Slack channels, no love. Some of you talked to 50 people, 50 different clients. You sold them all, you coached them all. No, love. Love doesn't have to mean that. You know, that intimate kind of love. But love has to mean you are living from your heart and deeply and compassionately caring for other people. Now, if you've been hurt before, you must listen to your narrative right now in your head that says, oh, Brendan, you don't understand. People are terrible. Now, I do understand that you've interacted with some terrible people who are at terrible times in their lives. But I also understand there's 7 billion people in the world. Most of them are good. And if you don't believe that, then just do math. We would have torn apart the earth by now and nuclearized every single person by now. The fact that most people are good is why you have everything in that room where you. You're looking through a computer right now. You're safe right now. Most people are good. Soon as you understand just math. When you look at the global worldwide decline in war in terror, when you look at the global worldwide abundance being created even in places that never had it before, it's not to say everything's great. It's not to say there's not desperate, desperate, desperate situations and places and times. We all have them and we've all seen it. Especially if you travel the world, which I hope you have. But here's what is the truth is that if we start telling ourselves a narrative that everyone's evil and everyone's bad, we're closing off. The people who say, I hate my life have closed off. They've given up hope in themselves and others. And that is where suicide tendencies come from. The belief that life can't change, that there's no hope, that there's no good future, and that no one cares. That's what leads to the worst of our thinking. We have to will ourselves to remember the math. Seven billion plus people. Yeah, maybe you met a couple turkeys. That's okay. There are a few turkeys, and those turkeys were in a bad place. And unfortunately they interacted with you, but they don't speak for the rest of them. If they did, you would never have another positive relationship. But you can build positive relationships and you can open your heart again. And when you do that, everything changes. Everything changes. Last one. Close to last one. Don't forget adventure. Oh, my gosh. How important is this right now? Don't forget adventure. I don't care if that's intellectual adventure, emotional adventure, going outside your comfort zones. Or it's adventure out in the world. Climbing that mountain, running that race, visiting that new town, going to that crazy new restaurant across town that you haven't been to. You got to put adventure back in your life. Everyone values adventure, but they value it differently. It means different things for different people. Some people, adventure, it's reading a new book in a different topic. Some people adventure is climbing Kilimanjaro. Whatever it is, don't forget it. Because people who have great jobs but don't have any adventure in their life are still going. I hate my life. Trust me, I've been with them. I've been with them. I've also been with adventurers who literally are the most famous adventurers in the world. They've crossed oceans, climbed the highest things, went to space. I've worked with all those guys and gals too. And guess what? If they have all that adventure, but they don't have deep connections and relationships with other people and modern day current meaningful pursuits. They're also like, my life sucks. What the hell should I do with my life? Even after they went to space, swam across the channel, did the boat ride, the balloon ride, jumped out of the thing, I mean, they did all the adventure. I mean, I worked with one guy, not kidding you, this guy sold his company for $800 million. And I get this call, somebody connect us. And he wanted a high performance coach. I didn't know how high performing this guy was at all before we got on the call. So it's not like I went out and saw these crazy people. But what his thing was, his passion was he jumps off of the cliffs. I think they're in Norway somewhere or somewhere up there. Forgive me, I don't know where it was. And he jumps in those squirrel suits they call them. It's like a suit. It's a human suit. He jumps off a cliff and it's not like, you know, his parachute is on. He flies, right? Have you seen these things? They have, like webs. Have you all seen these? Am I the only crazy person? I had never even seen. This was years ago. I had never seen this thing. That was his thing. He was a thrill adventure seeker. Jumps off cliffs and flies. I mean, it's the craziest 80 miles. I mean, it's like the craziest thing I've ever seen. And, you know, flying through the fjords, wherever the fjords are, I mean, it was just absolutely nuts. And I said, well, I said, listen, you're a pretty big high performer. You sold your business for $800 million. You're jumping off cliffs. What do you want to work with Brendan Burchard for? I'm this dumb kid from Montana. Talk about minimizing myself. And he says, yeah, he says, you know, he's. I'm struggling in my relationships. And I was like, oh, okay, tell me about that. And person was miserable. Miserable. All the money, crazy adventure, no relationships. And here he is. I hate my life. Whoa. Okay, we better fix that, because the next time you get on that cliff, if you hate your life, you'll make a dumb decision. You'll be careless. Let's handle this. And it became a very, very serious thing. And I share that with you because adventure is something we all need. But everything I've shared with you always comes back to the model guys. It's always going to be about, we need the harmony of aliveness, meaningful relationships, meaningful pursuits and growth. It's getting those all in motion. That now you love your life. So you're not like, what should I do with my life? You're like, I love my life. Now I know meaningful pursuits is the one where most people struggle with. And they're like, what should I do with my life? Because they're trying to figure out their career. So we'll talk about that, too. But one last don't. And again, I apologize. I usually don't do don't lists, but here we are. A lot of don'ts in two sentences. Last one. So, so far we've covered, don't minimize yourself or other people. Don't burn out. Don't participate in drama, negativity, and gossip. Don't forget to celebrate. Don't forget to love. Don't forget adventure. And last idea here, don't lie, cheat, steal, or harm others. As a universal life rule, don't lie, cheat, steal, or harm others. Today we're presented with a million options to do those things. Don't do them. Don't lie. Don't cheat. Don't steal. Don't harm others. Because as we're about to talk about integrity. Integrity is essential to feeling in love with your life. To know what you should do with your life begins with knowing how to be in integrity with the best of who you are and who you know you should be. And when we fall out of integrity, I'll use another word for it here in a little bit. We fall apart and we start questioning every other part of our lives. A lot of people actually have the meaningful pursuit. I've worked with many of you guys know I actually started my career teaching nonprofit executives and entrepreneurs how to partner together. That's kind of how I got my start in my first big seminars and my first online course was teaching how nonprofits and entrepreneurs could partner together to share messages and in meaningful ways that earn money for both. And so I've worked with nonprofits professionally since I was what, 20 years old, right. Been a volunteer my entire life as well. And so working with a lot of nonprofits, they have meaningful pursuit in their life. They really do. But if they step out of integrity to serve that mission, they fib on their fundraising numbers, they steal from the coffers, they take from this group to give to that group, but they know it's out of integrity. Or they don't create deep, meaningful relationships along the way. Or worse, they do some amalgamation of that, but they don't grow. They're like, what am I doing here? What am I doing here if I'm not growing? What am I doing here if I'm not challenging myself or reaching another level of potential? Trying new things. The human psyche needs the variety of progress and trying new things. We need it. Like in neuroscience, we use different language, right? We talk about novelty, the power of novelty, of new things that stretch us. In psychology, we talk about flow, the idea of having higher level goals that really stretch us so much that when we are in them, it is just hard enough but enjoy full enough that we find ourselves in a flow state where we kind of lose sense of time. It might not be easy, might not be joyful, but we do like the endeavor and like towards what we are working towards. So whether you, you know, we call it different things, right? We might call it varieties of spice of life in one area. But lots of people have variety, but they're miserable because they don't have deep relationships and aren't growing. Lots of people have variety, but because they're not growing, they're unhappy. So all these things, again, tie right back to each other. But integrity is central, as you're going to see. Okay, I would love to hear so far. Since this is new for me. I usually don't do the don't lists. What is your favorite lesson learned so far? Would you put that in the chat here so far, favorite lesson learned or an aha that you've gotten today? Before I move on to our next model, Any aha's favorite lesson learned. Wow. Don't minimize yourself. It's coming up a lot, guys. That's great. Saying no integrating the wins. Love, yes. Burnout. Okay. Lots of things I would say, wow, Recharge. Recharge, recharge. Yep, yep, yep. Good, good, good, guys. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Hey, if this is serving you today, do me a favor. As obviously you can see we're all doing this session for free for people today. Would you please share growthday.com with somebody in your life today who you recognize? Maybe they minimize themselves or maybe they just have more potential or maybe they just need a community like this of conversation to work on themselves again in a safe, positive space. Just tell me about growthday.com in some way or another. Take a screenshot and just share it with somebody. Would you do that? Today you guys are helping us grow this community. They can get a free trial@growthday.com and if they don't like it, they can leave. If they love it, they'll stick around. It'll be great. Growthday.com okay, with that, let me hop into another framework. I'm going to help you visualize the central question that we get that when people say, well, what should I do with my life? They're really trying to discern what I call their path, where that's a career path or a purposeful path. They are on that more outcome driven. What should I do? Like, tell me, like, what will bring me meaning and fulfillment? Happiness, joy, abundance? They're trying to figure out that often what they're trying to figure out is their sweet spot of their major activities in life. Now I should share when people say, what should I do with their life? Again, it's always going to come out to align with that which makes you feel alive, deepen your relationships, pursue things that bring you meaning and fulfillment, and make sure you're challenging yourself to grow along the way. You won't go wrong with those, I promise. Another way to think about this, though, I'd like to give you a framework. So I'm gonna share my screen. I'm gonna need your help if you guys can see this. Cause I can never tell. So let me know if you can see my slides. If you just raise your hand, you can see my slide. Did you see an orange slide? It says grow with it. Great. Okay, cool. Okay, now let me raise your hand again if you can see three circles on the screen. See three circles. Great. Okay, great. I'm going to teach you this simple fulfillment model for when I'm trying to help somebody figure out what they should do with their life. When it's more oriented towards career or mission. And often it might be something that is outside of their family, meaning they might be like I want to go back in the workforce, or I want to become an entrepreneur, or, you know, I'm ready for the next promotion, or I'm ready to move on from this stage of my life. It doesn't mean that this also does not apply to family life. But that's the context of this question. It's why I've gone through this in this particular order. So notice there's three overlapping circles on the screen. And these are things that we know bring people fulfillment in their job, in their career. And I'm going to break it down even more. So hang out with me for a second. If you're wondering what to do in your life, I'm always going to ask you to start in the upper left with creative expression. What do you love creating or expressing? And by you creating, expressing or sharing it, it makes you feel good. That's creative expression. Now, I know most people, they might use this in a different language. The example here would be people would tell you, oh, just find your passions. Well, what we found from the research is the things that you're most passionate about over the longest amount of time, meaning you persist towards it as well, is what we would call creative expression. So you find a topic area. At first you're just interested. You're just like, oh, I like this topic area. This is cool. Then you become more passionate about it. You're like, oh, I'm going to go deep on this. I'm going to take the red pill. I'm going to explore this. I'm going to go deep. I'm going to try to master this. I love this thing. But then the third level of that, you go from interest to passion to creative expression. You love talking about it, leading it, managing it, sharing it, curating it, building it. It's part of your creative impulse to do this thing. For some people, that's art, right? It's. I'm going to be a painter. For me, if you guys ever met me at a cocktail party, I'll be the geek over by the punch bowl. Just come say hi. And I would introduce myself as a writer and a coach. Those are two things that I love to do. I love to write and I love to coach. Those became my career. I love them. They activate something, part of me that's creative. Now, for those who are like, Brenda, I'm not a creative like you. That's not my personality trait. Please listen to what I'm saying. This is defined as you finding an interest area. Like, you're intellectually interested in an area that area you find so much, so much interest in, they become passionate about it. And then as you're passionate about it, you become passionate or healthfully obsessive about it. But it feels creative to you to build it, to share it, to curate it, to express it. That's how we know that it's going to be something. You're going to be happy that you said, that's what I did with my life. Meaning, no one gets to the end of their life and says, you know, I didn't do anything with my life if they were creatively expressing themselves throughout their life. When you don't bring your personality or your authenticity into your work, you are promising yourself that in the future you're going to be like, what the heck is wrong with my life? Meaning, another way to say, this is authentic passions, authentic interests, authentic expressions. It is unique to you. You gravitate towards it. You don't know why. You look at your bookshelf. There's most of the books are on this certain topic. When you're out with friends, you love to talk about this topic. When you're doing work, you like to do it in this modality. When you're building a business, you like to focus on this type of the business or this corner of the business. That's creative expression. It's something that's just authentic to you. You love to work on it, do it and talk about it. You love to work on it, do it and talk about it. But also, you love to work on it, do it, talk about it, and research it. You follow people on it. You read books on it, you listen to podcasts on it. This is your curiosity bucket. And this thing just keeps refilling. But the difference between this and curiosity, I should say this, the difference between creative expression and curiosity is that expression, part curiosity fuels the thing. Creative expression is the outlet by you doing the thing, building the thing, painting the thing, expressing the thing, leading the thing. You love that thing. Now, of course, every high schooler go, but I don't know what I love. And, well, then we have to start before the stage of interest. The stage before interest is called exploration. If you don't know what you like, interested in. If you don't know what you like or are interested in, passionate about, obsessive about, or enjoy creatively expressing yourself, that means you're in exploration stage. Exploration stage means you need to dedicate your next year to trying new things in different industry, different places, different topic areas, until one hooks you. Now, some people, they get hooked in their teenage Years, they just know what they want to do. They found that interest early on. Some people, they don't find it until their 70s. Wherever you find it, you only found it because you kept looking. When you stop looking and you just take what life delivers to you, meaning you're living a reactive life. That's why you're unfulfilled. That happens for a lot of people. They took the first job, then the second job, then the third job, but they never took the time to ask, what do I really like? They never actually tried anything outside of that job category. And so they feel trapped. You know how many Wall street people I've worked with, hedge fund managers? I mean, people the highest earning in that entire category who are miserable. And I said, why can you be miserable? And I dig back. And what happened is they just took that first finance job and it led up the corporate ladder, and they never tried anything else. To ask, am I really interested in this? Is this really a passion for me, or is this just a job and a paycheck? Exploration is the base of or the foundation of creative expression. So if you've been following me with your notes, we have to go from exploring exploration to interest to passion to creative expression. When people have creative expression, they stop asking, what should I do with my life? Because they know they are living the life they intended. The other bucket you see here is contribution. Contribution. That is. Contribution is all about, do I feel that what I am doing has meaningful impact on people I care about? Do I feel what I am doing has meaningful impact on people I care about? That is our sense of contribution. This is so huge, guys. Do I feel what I am doing? Giving, serving, leading, building has meaningful impact on people I care about. Oh, my gosh. So critical. Every word in that sentence is delicious. I want to eat it. It's so good. Every. Every word. So perfect in that. Why? Because. Because it's asking, is the majority of what you are doing having a meaningful impact? It's making your dent in the universe. It is something that for you, you can see its outcome in the world and you like it for people you care about. I know a person, she worked, she was in her late 50s. She had worked her last two decades in nonprofit, and she was literally asking, what should I do with my life? I don't understand. Why am I not fulfilled? And she, it turned out she was creatively expressed at work. She was very passionate. She had great relationships there. But the impact she was having was also, by the way, the impact she was having was like global. It Was amazing. But the people. Now, she loved the people that she was serving. There was nothing negative there. It just was. She actually wanted to be serving underserved women. And she happened to find her way into a job because of what she was good at, creative expression, and because of her network connection, she found herself into a job that was actually working with children. Now, I know your judgment flag can fly up here. What a terrible woman. Well, no, what happened for her was she had a great career and she changed people's lives. She had meaningful impact, and she loved doing it. But she realized the audience she was impacting, even though worthwhile, because every people, every human is worthwhile. She wasn't being callous or mean or unappreciative. She just realized that for her, she'd always wanted to work with women. And for her, it was older women. And she. For her, that specifically meant women who were between, like, 15. I think it was 30, if I remember her story. And so. But she was working with very young kids. And I'm sorry, her nonprofit was. And so it was a great job, and she made a huge impact, but it wasn't with the audience she wanted to serve the most. You see how that comes together. It's kind of funny that way. Like, I'll give you the same example with me. I can have a huge sense of contribution coaching a hedge fund manager. And last year, I had three offers to work with them. And again, I charged seven figures. So why would I not say yes? I didn't. That wasn't going to be my audience. And by the way, please don't say Brendan hates the hedge fund manager. No, no, no, no. I'm totally. I can't. They're so smart. I don't understand. It just wasn't for me. That's not the audience I wanted to be serving at that stage of my career. That's okay. Listen. It's okay for you to discern who you want to work with. We feel so guilty about it. I was talking with a teacher the other day, and she teaches college, and she's a professor in college. And I said, why are you a professor in college? She said, what do you mean? I said, well, why don't you work with, you know, how did you not choose kindergarteners or, you know, people in PhD programs? You chose college kids, you know, in, like, the first two years. Why them? And she was so funny the way she talked about it. And I was listening, and I thought, well, of course teachers are allowed to pick the grades that they want to work for. Why can't you choose who you want to work for? Some of you are doing great work, but you're in the wrong company working for people you don't care about, working for an end customer. It's not that you hate the customer, it's just not your audience. In other words, please listen. You need to find your audience and serve that audience to feel fulfilled. So that when you say, am I doing what I should be doing with my life, it has a lot to do with the people you are serving, isn't it? So I always tell entrepreneurs, you got to know who you want to serve. Otherwise you'll just be running a business, not serving a mission. That's the difference, isn't it? Think about that. Running a business versus serving a mission. What's the difference? The connection with the customer. Game changer. So many people who have great jobs, great networks, great relationships at work, they just don't see the impact with people they actually want to serve the audience they want to serve. It's okay for you to narrow and decide who you want to serve. It's a big thing. It's okay if you say, I want to serve everybody, I'll take anybody. It's okay. You got to find the audience you want to serve. For me, I particularly, I never worked with, from the beginning of my career till now, people who did not want to pursue personal development and self improvement. They threw tons of money at me, tons of contracts at me, tons of sponsorships at me. I'm like, not my group. My group is you guys. Us. We're weird, we're dorks, we're strivers. We love this stuff. You're still here. Hundreds of you are still here. Two hour personal development conversation. We're still in it, right? This is my group. This makes me feel fulfilled. People who like this, who take notes, who obsess about improving their lives, who really care about living the highest quality of life possible. I like that. It doesn't mean. By the way, a lot of people over the years weren't drug as spouses or partners or co workers into my seminars. So I am familiar with how to affect change in people who don't want to. But if I am going to spend my personal time, I want people who want to change. So do our coaches. So for those of you who are doing the free group coaching session, don't do it if you are not interested in real depth with people and real change and a higher potential for yourself. We always say we don't like tire kickers. We want people who are committed to change. I am committed to change. I am committed to changing the future. I am committed to changing the future of my families and, and those that I serve. All right, off my soapbox a little bit. Another part of this model is connection, connection. This is again that deep, meaningful relationships. But this is used specifically in this fulfillment model when you're what should I do with my life? In the act of doing what I'm doing, am I building friendships? In the act of doing what I'm doing, am I building friendships? Please write that down. In the act of doing what I'm doing, am I building friendships? See a lot of people, I mean I work with a lot of people in the ad agency type world because of I'm an influencer. So they're always reaching out to us, right? And so a lot of them, they're unbelievable creative expression. They're contributing, they're starting movements on the Internet, you know, but if they don't like their co workers, did you know the number one reason people leave a job is because their relationship with their first line manager? Even good jobs, even high paying jobs, even people earning over $200,000 a year on salary, the number one reason they report leaving that good job job, that exceptional job is because they don't like the manager they're working with. Now it's not that every boss or every manager has to be friends and buddy buddy with everybody. But it means we need to have that connection of mutual respect and likeness that we enjoy working together. And when you don't have that connection at work or in whatever your mission is you're trying to serve, you're going to say what the hell am I doing with my life? Here I am pouring my authenticity out, following my passions, making a difference in people I care about. But the people I am serving with, I don't have a connection with them. And you'll say, what am I doing with my life? We have to care about the people we serve with. This is why you need to build an awesome culture in your company. It's why you need to make friends at work as a priority. It's more important for you to make friends at work than you to do the task due on Friday. By the way, do both. But I think it's so important for people to realize how critical that is. When you don't have friends at work, you leave there. I've had jobs, I know a lot of people who don't know, you know, my whole story. But we grew up poor. I grew up with family of four I'm sorry. There's four of us kids and mom and dad. And mom and dad worked tirelessly to provide for us. And I still don't know how they did it. I'm like one of those kids who grew up in a. I'm like, I look back, like, how did my parents afford food? Like, how did. How did we. How did we survive where we were at? It's unbelievable. And I grew up in a place where the opportunities for jobs were not fun jobs. My first job, some of you guys know, was painting chicken coops. And the problem with painting chicken coops is at first you got to clean them. Oh, my God. It's the worst job. You have to clean out the chicken coop, wash down the chicken coop, get all the stuff out of the chicken coop, then paint it. It's a terror. It's for anyone who does that I sympathize. Was not my favorite job. I did a lot of what are called dirty jobs. You know, I was like hard, physical manual labor. Painting buildings by hand with a tiny brush truck, driving mail delivery. I had really hard, difficult jobs growing up. But some of those jobs, I loved them because the people I worked with, they. They were down to earth. They were funny, they were collaborative, they were helpful. They were hardworking men and women who just showed up with integrity, did a hard day's work without complaint, or brought a lot of humor to it. I love those jobs as much as I love some of the highest level jobs I ever work with, with literally presidents of companies and CEOs. I'm telling you what the people so important. So your job at your job is not just a task. It's to create a culture. You create a culture by creating friendships in that culture. By the way, I know some of you, like, struggle with friendships in growth Day. For our PRO members, all you have to do is upgrade to pro if you're not a pro member. We did an entire master course on friendships from 10 different unique angles from all of our coaches. They all trained for an hour on how they develop friendships in their life. And more than half of them were introverts. So for those who are introverts are like, I couldn't do. No, no, no. Don't blame what is a false psychological trait you believe in versus the actions and habits needed to create friendships. Everyone watching this can create extraordinary friendships. It's like any other skill you have to learn how you can't say, I'm not like that. You have to say, how do I get that outcome? If I had said I'm not like that. You and I would not be here today if I had said because I am a writer, right? I ride that line between introvert and extrovert. If I had learned, oh, I'm going to have to shoot videos to promote my books. Well, I'm not like that. I don't like to be on camera, I don't like to talk, I like to write. If I had done that, we would never be here together in this moment where hopefully you've gotten some value today I had to say, well I'm not like that. I don't know how to talk and express myself. I'm not from that. No one expressed themselves where I was from so I had to learn how to do that. But I had to say, what's the outcome? Well, the outcome is I want people to read my books. I'm going to have to learn how to promote them. I guess I'll have to learn how to talk. And then the Internet came along. I guess I have to learn how to talk on the Internet. And then, you know, this world is like I'm talking. You all know I'm in a room by myself talking with you right now. I had to learn how to talk in a room by myself and keep myself entertained enough to hopefully survive. But I do it because I have this connection with the people in my industry who I love. I have a connection with you guys. I'm serving the right people. I've learned to make this a part of my creative expression by teaching in a specific way. So it's fulfilling to me. Remember when you have all these hitting creative expression, contribution, connection and you are challenging yourself to grow. You don't ask what should I do with my life anymore. You say, I can't believe I'm so blessed to have this life. Last two parts of this though I think are really important and that is this. Number one, you can have all that. But if you don't have a sense of self control and control over your environment, you won't love what your life is like. Personal power is taking back control of your life. It's controlling your agenda. It's controlling your thoughts, feelings and attitudes. And this is not about being a control freak. It's psychological health that I believe I'm self reliant enough that I can shape my life's agenda and path. That's what we mean by control. I can shape my life's agenda and path and I can shape and mold and control my reactions to the difficulties and stressors of life. Emotional control Agenda control. It's not about being controlled at an obsessive level. What it means is I have a sense of personal power in my life to improve in these areas, to choose these areas, to deepen these areas. And then the last part of this is none of that model makes sense without congruence. It's what we talked about earlier. Congruence meaning you are in integrity with the best parts of yourself. You're integrity with your highest self. You are living your life in integrity. You're not lying, cheating, stealing, harming other people. You're not living a false life acting like somebody else to fit in with those other people. You're authentically living. That's congruence. From a base of congruence, we then add personal power so that we can attain more control over our life's agenda and our reactions to life so we're more intentional and we're more conscientious in how we react. We then explore the world to find our interests, our passions, and ultimately our creative expression that we enjoy. And we allow ourselves grace in finding what that is for us. No one's in a hurry here. We find what Creative Express Elite draws us out, makes us feel alive and expressed. We make sure that we are contributing meaningful impact to people that we care about, to the audience we want to really serve. And we have a connection with those who we are serving and with those who we are serving with. When we have those things, we're more likely to have fulfillment and have that beautiful moment where we get to say, I, oh, I feel fulfilled. I feel like I am on my path, I am doing the right thing, I am happy with where I am at. And we don't wander and wander around, go, what should I do with my life? Instead we go, how blessed it is that I get to have this life. I get to serve this mission. I hope today that you fell a little in love with Growth Day. I hope that you enjoyed being here today together. I hope you will take advantage of if you want to go deeper with us in any way. We have two options for you today. They are so simple. One, you can schedule a free group coaching session to talk to a coach if you need some support in finding your thing or if you happen to be my career. I'm guiding a group of people through this next year to build their own brand and their own business in my space of being an influencer, creator, thought leader. If you're interested in that, that's my mastermind. Those are the way I'm supporting people. This next Year outside of Growth Day. I hope that you'll consider those one's free, one's really expensive. So full disclaimer on that. But I hope that you also enjoyed this. If you like this, this will be a replay available for Growth Day Pro members. Just like every single training that we do in Growth Day, Growth Day Pro members get all those live weekly coaching sessions, taught by literally billionaire, taught by the most requested motivational speaker in the world, taught by wealth advisors, taught by people who teach you tapping and wellness. I mean, just an unbelievable set of coaches who go live every week. In 2022, we will be going live every Wednesday. We're calling it Wednesday Wisdom for Growth Day Pro members. That will replace our Tuesday and Thursday. That will allow more of you to attend and more of you to attend and see two people. So it'll be Wednesday Wisdom in the new year, which everyone's pretty pumped about if you haven't heard that announcement yet. We'll also make sure that everyone gets the replay a little better. Right after the replays. That is our Growth Day Pro members. If you're not a pro member, please upgrade because not only do you get special trainings like this, you get the replays and every single week we go live. And it's just an incredible way to deepen the mastery by having something like this. Because if you enjoyed this, we do this every week. So tell somebody about Growth Day today. Somebody you know wants to kick off this next year in a strong way so they don't know about Growth Day. My next training will be on New Year's and I'll be breaking down what to do on the daily, the weekly, the monthly and the quarterly to improve your life and set your life up to be really extraordinary at a very tactical, operational level. This next year. Today was helping you think through it, understand the key ingredients that will be necessary to love your life. My January 1st training will go even further into that. And on our January 1st training, we will also be doing breakout groups to share our New Year's goals, our obstacles and what we need. Support on today's was more of a teaching and training for all of you and I hope that you enjoyed it. I want to thank you all for being here today, for making personal development a way of life. Understanding that self improvement is always possible, understanding that your life matters, you can improve. The next chapter holds really good things for you and I appreciate each and every one of you. And I want to let you know from personal level, your support of Growth Day this year has meant the world to me, it's not easy to start a new software company. It's not easy to roll out an app. It's not easy to work with this many engineers and team and everything that we do to bring so much to you guys every single day in the Growth Day app. So thank you for your early support of this. Thank you for believing in me and my team and all of our coaches. On behalf of all of us, I hope that you finish this year in a positive mindset, optimistic for next year, realizing that it is true. Every day you get to choose your attitude. Every day you can live the life that you desire by aligning with more intention, by aligning with what makes you feel alive, by deepening your relationships, by pursuing things that matter to you, and by challenging yourself to continually grow by engaging in things like this in personal development. I love that we ended this year together this year. I love that we'll start next year together because we all realize in this community of strivers worldwide, every day is a great day to grow together. Thanks, everybody.