Brendon Burchard says people mistake temporary discouragement for a real reason to quit. Before you leave a job, relationship, or business, ask if you're making a strategic choice or running from a bad feeling. Learning to push through discouragement often matters more than abandoning the right decision.
Discouragement equals disempowerment. I want you to be in a good place, a good state of mind, a thoughtfulness, strategic mindset before you just throw out the thing, quit the relationship, quit the job, quit the dream, especially if it's right, you know, if you're in the right place or the right relationship, the right job or the right career, the right industry, the right moment. Just because it feels bad doesn't mean you should quit. The very first question that I might ask when someone tells me they want to quit something is, I'm going to ask this question. Is this decision you're about to make, strategy or discouragement, meaning are you thinking about quitting the thing because strategic, strategically, you've thought through it and it's the right next bold move for you, your family, your career, your future? Or do you just feel discouraged? Right? Is it a logical thing, like you've sequentially thought this decision out? Or do you just feel bad right now? Are you just discouraged because you've tried for a while and it's not turning out? Are you discouraged because you got some negative feedback? Are you discouraged because you got some rejected? Are you discouraged because you're disempowered in that relationship or that job or that career? And a place of discouragement is not the same as empowerment. And we have to be aware of that. But what I want to know at the very beginning of the conversation is just where are we? Have you been thinking through this? This is the strategic right move for you and your family or your life, your career? Or are we just kind of in a fed up place, a hurt place, a discouraged place? Because some people, they don't need to quit the thing, they need to learn to manage their emotions. That's a very different thing. Because many people, they're in the right thing, but they're lacking that emotional connection or emotional intelligence to deal with the realities of it. I'll give you an example. I don't know if who's ever had a hard job before. Like it was hard and you were failing and you sucked. Or maybe you started your own business and the first year, I mean, it was terrible. You felt like a failure the whole time. People are like, why are you doing that? Spending your time there, the neighbors making fun of you, talking behind your back and you're like trying to get it going and you're putting so much into it and it's not happening, it's discouraging and you go, ah, I better, I'll quit this opportunity. I'm just going to Quit this effort. I'm going to quit my dream. Well, the reality is there maybe the dream was strategically the right decision. The opportunity was strategically a good bet. But what happened was you got emotionally hooked, and your feelings of how you're dealing with that difficulty made you make a decision to throw out the thing when really, if it was the right thing, you needed to learn to manage your emotions better. In every relationship, there's going to be a time when it feels bad. In every new startup, every new entrepreneurial idea, every company, there'll be times when it just feels bad. That's life. The strategic mind has to say, okay, even though this feels bad, if I'm in the right place, can I learn to honor the struggle? Can I learn to turn that discouragement into curiosity or even interest? Can I learn to take that disempowering feeling and find a way to bring joy into this thing that right now kind of sucks, you know, I remember. And this. This applies at the most simplistic levels in our lives. It really does. How discouragement allows us to quit things. We. I'll give an example. Have any of you ever applied for a mortgage anyone ever had gone through? How about any entrepreneurs? Have you? If you've been an entrepreneur and applied. If you're an entrepreneur and you've applied for a mortgage, that is a particular kind of hell, you know, that is a. They don't believe in you. They don't trust your income. You might earn more than your neighbor. They don't believe you. Like, it's like. It's a particular. It's an awful process. I've been through it multiple times in my life, and every time, I'm like, after the fifth call or the millionth request of a document, that's stupid. I get discouraged, I get angry. I get fed up with that. I go, I'm out. Well, it's right for me to keep trying to get that mortgage, for us to get the house. That's a strategic right decision. We chose the city, we chose the house. But I get discouraged in the process, and I'm like, screw this and I want to quit. And Denise, my wife, she's always like, it's just paperwork. We'll get through it. Let me help you with it, or let's do this, and she'll save the day. Because for me, paperwork is a lot of pain. So you see how that's so small as an example, such a small, simple thing. You quit things that are just paperwork, things to get you towards your dreams. Think about that. Think about how many times you've just thought, I don't want to fill out this loan application. I don't want to have to reach out to them. What you do is you get discouraged, frustrated, or fed up with the process. And that emotional thing has you quit the thing that is required to get the strategic good outcome. And as soon as you realize that, like, whoa, I'm just giving up. I'm giving up on the right thing because I feel the wrong way. You really got to get your head around this one. Like, this is a major decision, right? In your life, you want to be thoughtful and strategic and intentional about it, not impulsive or acting from discouragement. Now I know therapists on the line. Who's Brendan? Oh, my God, you're such a terrible coach. Don't you realize that people, you know should listen to that discouragement? I'm like, oh, yeah, absolutely. I just don't want you to live there or make all your decisions from that place. You can listen to discouragement. You can feel fed up. Notice I'm not taking away the emotion. In fact, I just. The whole goal is here. Where are we coming from? When people first propose quitting a marriage, a relationship, a job, an opportunity, their first proposal of this is stupid. I'm going to quit is impulsive, not strategic. And I again, as a coach, when they first throw it at me, I want to know where they're at. Hey, it's Brendan. Thanks for watching this video. Please enjoy all the other videos on my channel and listen if you would love to have a daily, exclusive life coaching audio for me. Make sure you go get signed up for Growth Day. If you didn't know, Growth Day is the world's number one personal growth app. And it's the app where you go and you get your mindset right. You set your goals, you track your habits, you take wellness challenges, and you overall improve your life so you become more successful and joyous and happy. It's called Growth Day. 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