ADHD Is Not a Focus Problem. It Is an Activation Problem

And we are back with ND Out Loud, part of ND Hive, and we have taken a really, really long break. Um, so we are super happy to be back. We took some breaks because we had some things going on. Watch some of our shorts if you wanna catch up. Not important, but we are back and I'm gonna introduce myself again. I'm Danielle. I'm the founder and CEO of ND Hive, ND Out Loud, Capacity Works, and danielleralston.com. And what is all of that? Everything is about building better for those of us that are neurodivergent. Every single thing all fits together. They're all different wings of the same exact thing. I have my MBA. I am an MSW. I'm not currently licensed because I don't like rules. I'm also an ADHD CCSP, and I am working on my PhD in behavioral psychology. And I am here to tell you You can live differently. I promise that there is something different out there for you. If you are neurodivergent and you've just gotten diagnosed, or heck, you've been diagnosed a long time and still trying to figure out your brain, we got you because we can help you live it in the practical every day. So Shay, can you introduce yourself please?

Sure.

I am Shay Woodward. I'm the Director of Coaching and People with ND Hive, and we are just building things that I had been searching for, for years and just found everybody within the last year. I also have a degree in psychology and I'm also a life coach and a relationship specialist in helping people and learning how to communicate because we all know we have issues in the first place. And then let's just add a little sprinkle of, you know, ADHD in there and, and let's see how that really does not work.

Yes. And why are we experts? One, we have our degrees, we have fancy certifications. I've got— I actually, I have on the website, I have, I have 50 certifications and I had AI count them. I put them out by file folder and I have 77.

Ooh.

77 coaching certifications. Um, yeah, I have all these fancy certifications, but wanna know what my best certification is? I am ADHD. I'm ADHD and autistic together. I am 50 years old and I have lived this life for 50 years. So that's why I can say With authority what we are all about to say. And Shay, you're— what is your diagnosis?

Uh, AuDHD. And it's been a ride to figure this all out. I knew I was ADHD for probably the last decade or so, but the new component's kind of shaken things up a little bit, but in a good way. So it's been helping me be able to understand myself more, and it's really helped me to be able to communicate with my husband a lot better, which has been fabulous.

That helps. Okay, so let's dive in. We're talking about what is ADHD. We all know what ADHD is from the clinical, what is ADHD. Now let's actually talk about what attention deficit is. And if you are or have been diagnosed with ADHD and been told that you have attention deficit problems and then can sit down and read a 600-page book in one sitting, You don't have attention deficit issues. You have activation issues. And the difference between those 2 things is the difference between hating yourself for 10 years and finally understanding how your brain works. Honestly, that's the difference. That's the big difference. So we're gonna walk through, uh, one of our Authority Matrix pages and articles on our website, um, because I was tired of every definition of ADHD missing the point. Every definition of ADHD and executive dysfunction and AudiHD, you're about to— if you follow us, you're about to be finding a million different articles on our website because I am sick of what the world is telling us. I'm sick of it. And I'm done letting the world decide who we are. We need to be counter what the culture is here at ND Hive. We don't want to be hive-minded. We want to be called counterculture. And have fun with it. So if you spend your days struggling, frustrated, not understanding why you can't do things, let's dive in. So the standard clinical definition of ADHD is persistent patterns of inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity. But, but what does it mean for people that we coach? And this is why we wrote a new definition. ADHD isn't a freaking focus problem. It is not. I promise it is absolutely not a focus problem. I can focus on whatever I want. Don't ask me about my current hyperfocus. We will not discuss that now because we'll never get this episode done. ADHD is an activation problem. Your pro— your brain knows what to do.

Mm-hmm.

You know what you need to do. Nobody needs to tell you what you need to do unless you don't want to think of it. We also have that problem. We have decision fatigue. That is a piece of it, but we know what to do. Our brain knows what to do. We just can't start. We just can't start it. Which is true.

How many times have you tried? You're like, I gotta get this done. I gotta get this done. I gotta get this done. And then somebody's like, hey, let's just do it. Ready, set, go. And for some reason, having somebody else say that to you, That gets you into that first step, and it's that first step problem. It's not the attention deficit. Do you have deficit in your attention?

Absolutely not. I'm paying attention to 9 million things at the same time. There's zero deficit in attention, right? But what I do have is I do have 47 tabs— 2,477 tabs open in my brain. Multiple of them are playing different kinds of music.

Mm-hmm.

The one I'm currently on is frozen. I don't know where all the sounds are coming from. Where's that tab I actually need? I know it's here. I know it's here. I just can't find it. And I can't find it here.

Right.

And then I get stuck because I'm trying to find it and I need that thing and I can't find that thing. And how do I get that thing? And how do I find— help make myself find that thing? But there's all of these things going on at the same time, and I can't focus in on the one thing. That is being ADHD. It's not a lack of attention. It's an excessive amount of attention.

Well, it feels like little bombs are being dropped on you all day long. It's, it's kind of, it, and I don't wanna say necessarily little bombs cuz it's not always exploding things, but there's always that. Sense of things going. Like you, you never just can stop and close your ears and not hear anything. Whereas we see people that don't deal with ADHD are able to be like, oh, here's my task list. Let's start with task 1 and then we're going to do task 2 and we can go down one by one. But us, it's more like, oh, here's, here's task 1. We're starting task 1. Okay, but what about that part over there that could go into task 1? Let me check that out over here. And then this one over here. And oh, don't forget, we've got the clock ticking in the background and, and we've got kids crying or talking, or we have coworkers that are singing along with their music or whatever it is. There's all those things just coming in all the time. And we don't, we don't have necessarily the capability of just pushing it all back and having that one vision of where we're going and doing.

So on the page on the website, I talk about sitting on a couch. I know I need to get up. I know I need to go to my desk and start working on things. I know I need to, but I'm stuck. I'm stuck. I'm completely and totally stuck thinking about how to get up, what I've got to do to get up. Like, the process of getting up is so overwhelming. And do you want to know why that is? And I've talked about this. You've heard me talk about this on podcast before. For every one action for a neurotypical person— and one action for a neurotypical person is get up, get ready, go to work in the morning. That's one action for a neurotypical person. For me, to get out of bed is 135 thoughts. To take a shower is another 135 thoughts. To brush my teeth is 135 thoughts. To get dressed is 935 thoughts. To go out and make coffee and have breakfast is 5,254,000 thoughts. To get to my desk and remember what it was I was supposed to work on and do is another 9 million thoughts. But by the time I even get here, I'm exhausted.

Mm-hmm.

But then there are days I'm sitting on the couch and the thought of thinking all of those thoughts is just exhausting. It's stuckness. It's not being chaotic. It's not— Being, not being able to focus because I know exactly where my end goal is. But my brain and my body are not on the same team.

Right. Right.

And I know I keep saying stuckness, but this is executive dysfunction. That's one of the clinical terms for it. So the thing that most people get wrong about ADHD is the chaos. They think it's all chaos, the 47 tabs, all of the things. But the chaos is a symptom. The problem is stuck. The problem is being stuck. So Shay, what, what do you tell clients who are just stuck? And obviously, NDI, this is one of the big things that, that's why we're here to help you get unstuck. But what, what do you tell to somebody who is just sitting there and can't get unstuck?

Well, first I'll ask them like, what is it that you have to do? What are the things that you, do you have this? List that's 5,000 things long, or do you repeatedly write the same list over and over again? And what is it that you're stuck in? Because we're not all stuck in the same way. Some of us are stuck because there's so much to do. Some of us are stuck because we're fatigued with decisions. Some of us are stuck because we just are overwhelmed just with life in general. We're overtired. We haven't been eating, you know, things, all the little things. So we do address some of those issues first. And we ask, have you eaten anything lately? Well, no. Okay, let's try that first. Oh, okay. Then they go and eat. Okay, now we're going to check back with you. How are you doing? That's one way that we start it. Another way is when they tell me what's on their list, if it's something that's big, like, oh, I've got to read 10 chapters in my book. Okay. And people are like, well, just start reading. Well, that's not easy to just do it. So I'll say, okay, how about you go read one page and then come back? Let's start with just one page. Break your big things down to these small tasks. I have to clean my house. It's such a mess. Okay.

One step.

Go around, pick the trash up off the floor. Hello.

You got something. I think part of that is even thinking of that. Well, we could tell somebody to break it down into little tiny steps, but you can't do that on your own. And I think this— I mean, this is the foundation of The Hive is never live life alone.

Right.

I need permission from somebody else to tell me what to do, or I need the instructions from Shay to say, just read the OnePage, just go pick up that— the socks off the floor, not look at your whole entire bedroom that needs to be cleaned. Just pick up the socks. That's all you're doing right now. Just pick up the socks.

And the other component to that was I said, come back and let me know.

Yeah.

There's a reason and a purpose for me saying, come back and let me know. And part of it's To help them recognize and gain those awarenesses so that they can start learning those little things on their own so they don't necessarily have to use us all the time, but they want to. Making a difference in that aspect. The other aspect is that little dopamine then when they see that they've accomplished something, because dopamine is a huge thing in our world. That's something that helps us with moving forward in the boring things. If we see that end result, that's gonna give us that feel goods, whatever it is, then we can sometimes get over that stuck. So that's something.

Something that I hear from new potential clients or, or people who are in denial that they have ADHD is, well, I can't be ADHD cuz I can hyperfocus.

Sorry.

It's not a focus problem. It's not a focus problem. Because when I want to focus, when I want to focus, there is— just ask anybody who knows me. There is no stopping me when I want to focus on something.

Yeah.

We'll say something to Danielle and then crickets for a while. And that's fine. That lets us know that she's in her hyperfocus mode of doing something that she finds is very important or is a next step in whatever she's working on. It doesn't have to always be work either. We can hyperfocus on kids. We can hyperfocus on cooking, on sewing, on work.

Star Wars and hobbies. It could be anything, and that's okay. Because one of— we talk about— I talk about on the page 6 mechanisms of ADHD, which they're interest, challenge, novelty, and urgency are some of them. I'm not going to go into all of them because there's too many.

Mm-hmm.

So let's kind of look at those. But Uh, when you understood that you needed interest, a challenge, novelty, and urgency, what shifted for you in understanding your ADHD?

Interest, challenge, and urgency. I think—

Novelty. It has to be fun.

Novelty. Well, and I think that's, that's the big part of it is what do we classify as fun? What do we classify as novelty? So when, when you— it kind of goes along the same lines as saying, oh, just go relax, just, just chill. Besides the fact that I want to punch somebody for saying that to me, it's, it's because I don't necessarily know how to do that according to what everybody else is telling me to do. So they'll say, go relax, go lay down and take a nap.

Uh, no.

Does that really work? I mean, for some people it's fantastic, but for some of us who can't shut our brains down, going and laying down, what does that do? It just increases the, you know, more. So it's the same thing with having— say the 3 of them again. See, my brain was so fast in trying to get to the answer.

Interest, challenge, novelty, and urgency.

Okay, interest, challenge, novelty, and urgency. When I figured those out, it made it a lot easier for me to do the things that weren't necessarily the fun side of it because it brought the fun side of it. So even in our creative things, the creative side and learning new stuff isn't necessarily interesting for all of us, or it feels very hard, you know. But when we do it and we get to that point and we see the novelty side of it, it's great. It's like the end result.

The thing that came up a lot over the last month obviously is taxes. Okay, great. But I can't get my taxes done. That's not interesting, novel, or challenging. Well, no, it's challenging, but challenging in a terrible way. So how do I make myself do it? Bring some dopamine in it.

Yes.

And I did this so many times with people. Like, okay, go get your favorite drink, go get your favorite snack food, do something goofy and funny, turn on your favorite music, get some dopamine, get some dopamine.

Oh yeah, the dopamine can be such a small thing too.

We don't realize that it, it could be just something as simple as a favorite piece of candy.

Or a nice piece of chewing gum that we like that flavor, or a nice drink, or—

Or the tumbler that you love. The tumbler that you love. So for anybody wondering what's on my tumbler, it's little bees.

Um, these on my coffee mug, you know.

So—

Or I have stickers on another mug, and yes, I have multiple mugs, and I have a cute cup, and I have like Do you need 3 drinks?

What toys do you have on your desk? I mean, I've got—

I took a picture and I posted on Instagram. How do you get ready for a podcast recording marathon? I have all kinds of fidgets in front of me. But how do you— you have to bring dopamine into it. And dopamine for us, so dopamine is something that we need. It is our motivation factor. And ADHD brains have fewer receptors for motor, for picking up dopamine. And we need faster uptake of it cuz we burn through it faster. So it's just a bad combination. That's how our brain is wired. Uh, but we need to translate that into what, what does that actually mean at 9:00 AM on a Tuesday when I gotta get something done? And the words, just be more disciplined, write it down, get a planner, do not work.

Do you know how many planners I used to have sitting in my house? I even had a friend who had 30 planners in her house.

I don't know if you still do that.

I keep the ones I've used for a while, but I mean, how many have we bought with the intention of using them to help organize us?

All of them. I now have a rule for planners. They have to be undated because I might use it for one day, I might use it for 2 weeks, I might not touch it for 3 years, but it's undated so I can come back to it and I can use it and there's no guilt there. So I do— I, I— dopamine. There is a lot of dopamine in planner buying, pretty planners. And so I let myself do that now. But, but now I have an understanding of why my brain wants that. I might want a different texture paper. I might want a different color paper. I might want a different textured notebook cover. I might want something with stuff all over it. I might want something with nothing on the page, just a blank page. I might want somebody to tell me how to write things down.

Right.

And don't forget the pens that got to go with it.

Absolutely.

One day you might want your Mickey ear pen. The another day you might want the poo pen. Another day you might just want the Bic pen, you know. It's what works for you. And the problem is we, we try to fit all of what we think we should be doing according to what's considered normal. But what's normal?

There is no normal. And learning that I can stack 9,000 different ways to do one habit was life-changing for me.

Mm-hmm.

I can use a different color pen, a different color paper, a different kind of paper, a different planner, a different place in my house to sit and do it, a different mug, a different pair of headphones. I have like 4 different kinds of earbuds and 3 different kinds of headphones because I need the sensory differences between them in order to create dopamine for myself and have that novelty.

Now that sensory part of it, that's something that's been interesting watching and observing in myself. Once I started understanding that it isn't just that I'm irritable, it isn't just that I want to be difficult, which, you know, that's a lot of what we're taught. Just wear the jacket.

It's fine.

No, it really isn't. It's itchy. It makes me feel like I've got weights on my In my shoulder, you know, just the whatever the sensory thing is. I always thought it was me, but it, it, I mean, technically it was me. It was the way my brain was working, but not acknowledging it and being okay with it and saying, how can I do this differently? How can I do it so that it's okay for my senses?

Mm-hmm.

Allow me then not to have that part of my brain with the senses like over here just freaking out.

And pulling energy away from decisions and the things that I'm trying to get done and all of the above.

Mm-hmm.

And I think understanding the sensory piece is a big one. And we're not going to dive into the sensory piece too much here because that's much longer conversation, much, much longer conversation. But I think the other thing that we always need to understand and, and Doctors and therapists don't talk about this enough, is that ADHD brains have 2 modes. We have an internal mode and an all-action mode. So it's all internal or all action, and we have a sticky switch between them.

Yes, we do.

So what happens if someone— what does it look like when somebody gets stuck in internal mode, not talking to anybody? Not wanting to ask for help, can't ask for help, not doing anything, literally stuck on the couch in burnout frustration. I know I should do this mode. And there's a lot of times, not always, there's about 50% of the time when you're stuck in internal mode, you're stuck in an action frustration shame loop. The other 50% of the time, it was I'm done, I'm tired, I'm exhausted, I need a total Total shutdown internal mode, or I'm in sensory overwhelm and I can't deal with anybody and I need an internal day. All of those are fine. Like all of— did you just hear me? All of those internal modes are fine. And then we have action mode. Where we're either hyper-focusing in on a particular thing or we're Not, not focusing anything on 9 million things. And eventually, maybe one of those 9 million things might actually finally get done. But that's okay too. And part of where understanding that those, all of those modes are okay, because we've been told they're not.

Yeah.

We have been told that we're lazy, we're stupid, we're, we're Irresponsible, whatever, for, for that internal mode. And action mode is, why can't you just get organized and get something done? Why can't you do the right thing instead of the hyperfocus thing? Why, why, why? Like, there's a lot of shame that goes all of those things.

Mm-hmm.

Your brain is not broken. You're just wired for a different fuel system. I think Okay, now that I say that, so, so you're wired for a different fuel system, like literally we need different fuel than other people do and the world keeps handing us regular crappy gas, but we run on very specific premium gas and that's it.

Mm-hmm.

I want you to hear that illustration again. The world is handing you crappy, disgusting old gas to try to run on. The kind that's going to shut down that lawnmower.

Mm-hmm. The old—

Your brain.

Yep.

Your brain runs on premium, the best gas. And when it's running on the best gas, it's running at optimal level and you are unstoppable. That doesn't mean we can do that every single day because that best gas runs our brain out and it runs our body out of energy and everything.

Oh, it does.

But your brain isn't broken. It just needs a different type of fuel for it. And the fuel is dopamine. It's serotonin. It's novelty. It's urgency. It's all of these things. So here's where I'm going to try not to get on my soapbox. I'll try not to get on my soapbox. This part is going to make most people uncomfortable because every productivity book, every habit stacking method, just build another routine piece of advice fails. And it fails within— either it fails immediately or it takes 2 weeks to fail.

Mm-hmm.

It depends on how our brain is doing. So what is our productivity advice? And you and I have talked about this so many times. What is the most well-meaning advice that made you feel like actual trash as an ADHDer?

Oh gosh. I'd say the first one would be, well, if you just write it down, you get it done. You know, my dad was very much a task person and he'd walk around with a card in his pocket, pull it out.

And, and so when we couldn't get things done or we didn't get it in the timeline, that the timeline that he thought we should have it done, then he'd get frustrated.

Or if he'd have to repeat himself.

There's a lot of that where I do see that in a lot of parents. Well, I have to keep repeating myself. Can't you get it the first time? That one was, was a nasty one.

Can't you just get it the first time? Well, apparently not if you're telling me 3 or 4 or 5 times.

Or when they'd give you a list, Of things, and you cut— they'd come back and they would be like, why didn't you get it finished? And it wasn't until my kids were diagnosed with ADHD that I even figured out myself. But that's when I started figuring out, oh, that doesn't work. Oops. You know, that doesn't work for me.

Why would I think it would work for them? Mm-hmm.

Or we force ourselves into doing it.

We force ourselves into neurotypical, like we were, we're traumatized, beaten with it maybe. And sometimes I mean literally, sometimes I mean figuratively with productivity advice, even as kids that we have to be productive to be successful, have to be productive. No, not in the same way you do. Like we just do things differently. And I had to learn going back to college, getting my degree and all of that when I had a little one with neuro— my little one was neurodivergent. He's 29 now, so he's not so little now. And learning that one task at a time with all the details of the task. Go clean your room is not a task. Go pick up your dirty laundry and put it in the hamper and bring me the hamper. But at one, one step at a time. Go pick up your dirty laundry, put it in the hamper. That's one step. Go bring me hamper is step 2. Go get dirty dishes out of your room. Put them in the sink.

It's that automatic thinking that just because I tell you what the task end result is means you know all the steps in it.

Yep.

And that's not—

most neurodivergent people don't. Even I don't. I'm a 50-year-old neurodivergent coach with however many certifications and degrees and all of that, and I still need somebody to give me all the tasks. Give me all of the steps to a task because I can't necessarily— on a good day, on one of my best days, I can absolutely process that out and that's not a problem. But on only a good day, that's not happening.

Well, and how many of us are visual learners too? So we have to see what you're talking about. It's not you can just explain it. Like sometimes you have to walk into the room with the child and say, pick up your socks like this. And do it, and then boom, it connects, and then they can do it.

And you might have to do that 5 or 6 times with them in a row before they remember how to do it on their own. But you want to know what? So does a neurotypical child. Children and adults all learn by watching, not by reading a book. You don't hand your 2-year-old a book to learn how to use a fork and a spoon. You show them how to use the fork and the spoon.

Yep.

And that is the same for every brain. I don't care the age of the brain. You talk to an 80-year-old who does not have dementia, that's in perfect health and all of that. And if they're learning something new, handing them a computer, a smartphone, you have to show them how to do it. Show them, not explain. Show them how to do it over. And this is— I'm talking about Somebody who's extremely intelligent, sharp, and able to do anything, you still have to show them. You have to show a 22-year-old how to navigate a college campus. They need directions. They need to understand how college works because they don't know when they get there, which is why so many college kids fail their freshman year, because nobody is showing them how to do it correctly. We learn by watching.

Yep.

And adults and people in the world expecting a neurodivergent brain that needs a few more steps in there to just learn and absorb by osmosis for something that doesn't exist is ableistic and traumatizing. That's traumatizing. And again, a neurotypical person learns the same way too. We all learn the same way.

Right. But it's, it's also the fact that it's, it's setting them up to fail.

Mm-hmm.

Even whether it's neurotypical or neurodivergent, we set them up to fail if we think handing them a piece of paper that says, here's your— here's the things you need to learn, and expect them to automatically understand just from that list. You're setting them up to fail.

Mm-hmm.

And we're not here to set them up to fail. We're here to, to teach, to educate, to help, and to, to find the ways that your brain is working because All of us. And I get so frustrated when I hear people say, well, if you have ADHD, then it's the same as all of the others that have ADHD. I'm sorry. No, my ADHD is different than your ADHD and it's different from their ADHD. It's not a one-size-fits-all.

If you met one person that is neurodivergent, you have— congratulations, you've met one type of neurodivergency.

End of story.

I have, there are 3 of us in our house, my husband, myself, and my son. There are 12 kinds of neurodivergence between the 3 of us. I swear some days.

Yeah. Yeah.

But that's fine. Everybody is different. And, and here's a superpower I want to talk about. Uh, uh, and neurodivergence itself is not a superpower. Like, I'm not saying that, but we do have superpowers inside of neurodivergence. Neurodivergence is a train wreck. We get that. We know that. I'm with you, sister.

But there—

here's the superpower of neurodivergence. Do you know a neurotypical person is the same all the time?

That can get kind of boring.

Did you know a neurodivergent person is different every day? Okay, that's also part of the chaos of neurodivergence is my brain works different every day.

But, and then sprinkle a little bit of other things in there.

Yes.

Sensory overwhelm, hormones.

Yeah.

All of that stuff in there. But that's where we thrive. We have a different operating system and that's okay. So I, we're gonna give 3 tips right now that can help you if your brain is different every single day and you don't know how to recognize those patterns or get out of stuckness or whatever. And it's really easy. Body doubling, join the hive. Accountability, join the hive. Come be entertained by the hive.

Yeah. And it's true.

Right now, as I am watching, I'm body doubling. I have it on a separate computer over here, and I'm watching right now. There are 2 members entertaining each other right now. They are talking everybody else's ears off. Because they are hyper-focusing together and they are keeping each other moving and they are providing the structure that they needed today. And the other 2 are getting work done and just listening to that chatter in the background. And then we have somebody else who's completely muted, has everything muted, and just having people on screen. He goes, it is so good to be here with other people. He posted this this morning. I'm getting so much done and I can't even hear you.

Isn't that interesting? We don't necessarily need to be engaged. We just need to have somebody there. It's fascinating.

So if I had to print something on a TV— on a t-shirt, ADHD again is an activation problem, not an attention problem. Or a motivation problem or a productivity problem. Are those symptoms that can go along with neurodivergence? Yes. Are there symptoms? Yeah, we all have symptoms. We get a cold, we have symptoms. All of that is true. So when a client comes in and I cannot get motivated today, I just, I just can't. I have no motivation today. What do you tell them?

I'm like, okay, so what are you doing? What's— I just let them start rambling and I let them start just chattering and talking because that's where sometimes they just need to verbalize out. They need to just say what's on their mind. And then once that's kind of dumped out of there, then I'm like, okay, so what is the first thing that you need to do today? Well, I have this, this, this, and this. Okay, that's great, but you can't do all 5 at once. What's the first? And they'll give me their first. I'll say, okay, so do you feel like you can start doing that now? Some will say, yeah, I just needed to have somebody there. Okay, great, then let's start. Some are like, no, I'm still not gonna— I still just don't feel like it. Okay, tell me more. Sometimes it's just allowing them to have their feelings for what they're really feeling for that moment. And then being able to say, is there anything else I can help support you with? I just need to do it. Okay, so how about I say 1, 2, 3, go, and you jump up and you do it, and then come back and tell me? And it could be the smallest thing, it could be the biggest thing. It could take somebody 2 minutes and it could take somebody 2 hours. But it's just, one, allowing them to feel what they need to feel. 2, allowing them to be able to just say, I don't want to today. And then if they say that, then we ask, is it, is it of high priority today? Do you really have to have it done today? Well, yeah, I'm on a deadline. Okay, then we go down that route. Or no, I really don't. Okay, is there something else that's high priority and that's why you're in a little bit of conflict of being stuck?

I think that what this boils down to, everything that Shay said, absolutely true. That's absolutely what we walk somebody through. But if you don't have motivation, come borrow somebody else's. Somebody else is going to walk you through it so that you can.

You can.

You can. That's it. You can. But you don't have to do it alone. When we do life alone, and we are one of the few cultures in the world that isolates and tries to make you figure out on your own and to do things.

Oh yeah.

Almost every other culture, women clean their homes together, do the laundry together, quilt together, cook together. I grew up in a very Italian family. We did everything together.

Together.

If you live in Italy or all over Europe, there are third spaces where you get together to have conversations and do things with people, and you work in community and you live in community. We don't do that here in the US.

And even after we've had, you know, a lot of isolation a few years back from something that was pretty traumatic for the whole world, I think it even exacerbated it so much more and trying to reconnect. We have a connection issue in the first place being ADHD. And then on top of it, trying to reestablish some of those can be really difficult. So why not come into the hive and be able to establish new relationships? Be able to establish a relationship as far as you may not even have anybody you can count on, you can talk to, you can feel better with. Why not start there?

Absolutely.

Okay, so what is ADHD? It's just an activation problem. That's it.

That's it?

That's it. So, okay, you've listened to us. You're like, so what's next? Come to ndhive.com. Join us for $39.99 a month for 58 hours a week. No, you did not hear me wrong. 58 hours a week of support, uh, from 7 AM to 5 PM Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and 7 AM to 9 PM Tuesdays and Thursdays. 58 hours a week of coaches that are on demand and available to you, and body doubling. Come do it. And a million and one resources. Or at least there will be a million and one resources. I'm still building. I'm still writing. I'm getting there. Uh, come join us because you don't deserve to live life alone. You deserve to live life in a community that gets you and understands you and is not going to judge you for it. Have a good day, everybody.