In this solo coaching talk, Raphael Djine argues that intolerance and close‑mindedness are major reasons people fail. He stresses that holding rigid, "my way or the highway" beliefs—whether about religion, LGBTQ rights, cultural customs, or personal habits like alcohol consumption—limits growth and success. Djine illustrates his point with several anecdotes: a Christian who seeks to understand Muslim beliefs; a conversation with a same‑sex couple about marital roles; a story from an African‑American church about why members wear hats, revealing how traditions persist without questioning; and a comparison to athletes who control their mental state without relying on substances. Throughout, he urges listeners to constantly question their own assumptions, explore alternative perspectives, and replace automatic, possibly harmful habits (e.g., drinking) with conscious, healthier choices. The overarching claim is that open‑mindedness, curiosity, and self‑questioning create adaptable mindsets that lead to better outcomes and personal success.
Chapters
Okay, number 23, the intolerance. The intolerance, the close-minded. If you are close-minded, you may fail. I mean, some people are just so radical. They don't want to understand others. It's their way or no way. This is what I believe, and anything else is us. Come on. And we see this a lot in a religion circle. You know, I believe this is the way. I believe this is the way, this is the only way. And that's the only thing you learn. How about if you expose yourself to some other religion to understand them? Why do they believe also the way they believe? Human beings are so interesting. Sometimes we think the truth is what we believe. No. Any truth is subject to be challenged. Maybe your truth is just based on your level of understanding. If you can grow yourself, if you are open-minded and go a little bit farther, you'll be like, huh, aha. That's why I love the Bible. We have the Old Testament and we have the men of God. People that God inspired to rewrite the New Testament. I love the letter of Paul to break down certain things so we can understand. Sometimes I want somebody to break down even the New Testament again. Open-minded. Your belief is not absolute. That's— I'm a Christian. But I like to sit down even and understand why Muslims believe the way they believe. Curious. With that said, they're wrong because they don't believe in— their doctrine is not exactly my own doctrine. Why this person say he don't believe? Why? What caused that? I want to hear the person. I'm not— the person may not try to convince me because I'm settled. Like with the subject of gay marriage and all that, sometimes I wonder why they believe men should marry another man. I don't know. Maybe God left something out. So why? Why women should marry another woman? Where kids are going to come from? I'm not sure. All these things. So I just ask questions. Another day I was talking with a guy. We had a little meeting. He came with a girlfriend— no, with a boyfriend. It was a guy with a boyfriend. It was a group meeting, a professional meeting. And, you know, a laid-back group. And I asked him, you know, so you guys married. How do you know who's the wife and who's the husband? I mean, I was just curious. And then they are very friendly guys, and they would just share, we decide. I would say, oh, wow. So you decide, okay, who's going to be the wife, who's going to be the husband? I was going to go a little farther. I'm like, no, because I was going to ask, okay, so how does it work? What I'm saying is that you can't be close-minded. You can't say white people are racist, black people are dangerous. Chinese are going to cheat you. You know, Francophone, I mean, France people are all politician. All this kind of stuff. No. Be open-minded. Why do they do what they do the way they do? Try to understand them and listen to them. And then say, okay. It's not push you to change your belief, but you have to be open-minded. Don't be radical. Try to understand people. And I even encourage people to even question your own belief. I question my own belief. Why do I believe this thing? I probably— I don't know if I shared this story with you. In the— in Alabama, it was this small black church. And one day, they was building, still building their church. This was way back. This is a story I hear myself. You know, they was building their church, and they have guest speaker, and the bird fly and poo on the head of the guest speaker. They was like, oh my gosh. So, they asked one sister in church, please stop at the store and get some hat so the guest speaker— will cover his head. And so they— and they have a crusade. So they went and bought a hat and just bought a few hats for other leaders also. So the next day, other church members went and bought a hat, the big large hat. So after the service, they kept the hat. So they kept wearing the hat because that was helpful for sun and all that. So, later on, even after they put the roof, they kept the hat. You probably noticed that in African-American community, people wear hat in church. So, one day, one of the elders questioned and said, you know what, why do we even wear hat in church, this type of hat, particularly this type of hat? You know, those said, oh, I don't know, but the older person here in church, his sister, so-and-so. They went and asked. They said, oh, I didn't know when I came to church everybody had hat. We brought our own. But the older person in church is Sister Such-and-So. She was in a nursing home. They went there and asked. So she shared the story. That's how we start wear hat. Oh my gosh. I was like, my gosh. I remember I used to go to church with my wife and she bought her own large hat. That's what everybody's doing. We have to follow. question what we do. We have to question our belief. We have to say, why do we believe in this? We have to question. I know in a religion circle we say, just believe, just do it. No. Why am I doing it? Why am I drinking alcohol? Why should I be drinking alcohol every time when I think I want to have fun? I want to feel good. How about if I just change my state and I don't need alcohol anymore? The alcohol was introduced so that can change people's stage. So when people come together, they can be happy. The blood pressure and all that can go up. I mean, and, you know, the energy can go up and they can be vibrant and just celebrate. How about if we learn how to change our stage? Go from suffering stage without even drink and and feel like a drunkard. It's a stage. Do I need to spend $100 on vodka or Blue Label to be happy? No. $100, I know how to be happy. I keep that in my savings and prompt myself to be happy. Think about it. The athlete or the football player, do they drink before they go play? No, they know how to change the stage. Look at them in the back room when they are prompting themselves. They push themselves, they prompt themselves, and walk out there like boom and perform. You can do the same thing. What I'm, what I'm saying is that you must be open-minded. You have to be able to question. Everything that you are doing, all the time. And if you do that, you'll be successful because your result will change all the time in a positive way, and that will lead you to success.
