For the Girls who Grew Up in the Church with Daven

Hey, girl. Welcome to the GetYourGuy coaching podcast. My name is Anwar White, but you can just call me your own personal dating and relationship coach. Each week, you'll hear actionable advice, tips, and strategies that you can implement in your own love life. I'm talking about healing your heart, dating effectively, and understanding men so that you can. You guessed it. Get your guy. Are you ready to level up your love life? All right, let's go.

I never felt the way I do without anyone but you.

Hello, my loves, and welcome to the getyourguy coaching podcast. I am so happy to be doing this episode, and I have a very special guest with me. You know, all my guests are special, but I saw this woman on TikTok, and I was like, she needs to be on my podcast. I don't care how I'm going to get her, but she. We need to have a conversation because she has so, so much to say. She considers herself a girl's girl with maybe a bit of a big mouth. I think that whatever comes out of her mouth is amazing and great and that we should be listening to it. Ms. Devon Rhodes. Girl, tell the girls where you come from, a little bit about yourself and why you do what you do.

Hey, y'. All. Hey, girls. I'm Davin. I'm on TikTok. That's where we. We connected. But I'm a Jersey girl, just one of the regular girls who saw a lot of issues within the black community, specifically black women. And I decided to use my platform not only to heal myself, but to heal other black women and women of color, but also bring light to some traumas that we may have had within our inner child. So that's. That's what I do. I'm a Jersey girl just trying to help out the girls.

I love it, girl. I'm so happy that you're doing it, Devin. So what I wanted to talk about, because when I first saw you, girl, you were spilling some tea. Tea and some truth about the black church. And so I just want to get your sense of, you know, how you think that the black church affects black women because so many of us grew up in the church, right?

Yes.

Whether we go to church or not. Now, I'm pretty sure 80, 90% of us were in the church every Sunday and sometimes Bible studies on Wednesday nights and doing every. And, you know, Bible school.

And all of that, summer camps and all of that. And so I'd love to just get your take of how you think that kind of being in the church affects black women.

Specifically.

For me, the church promotes a piece of a relationship instead of peace of mind. And that's my biggest issue when it comes to the church. Because what it takes teaches black women, is it's better to be within a relationship to then to have peace of mind and be in a relationship with yourself. Everything's external. So when black women go out and date, they're already starting at a disadvantage because of just the way the world perceives us. And then we have this constant need to validate because we're trying to validate ourselves through the eyes of the church. We got to be the good girl. Don't wear too much makeup. Cover up. Don't be too loud, but be loud enough. Like everything we're doing is constantly chasing like an invisible carrot of trying to be the ultimate good black girl or the good woman of color. And then it turns into us constantly. People pleasing.

Yes.

People who don't deserve to be pleased. And that's where I feel like the church kind of like infiltrates black women. And it starts off at a young age. Like I said, I talk about children. And a lot of my trauma come stems from the church. And other people's trauma stem from the church where you went in there, you grew up, you had regular growing pains like every kid does. And you were shamed for it. You were shamed for having a body that was a little more curvy. You were shamed for having an opinion outside of the opinion of maybe the men within the church. You were shamed for maybe even being being touched or fondled over by older men because of the way your body looked. So what that does is create so much trauma that you're constantly trying to prove that, you know, I'm not. My trauma, everything I went through, I can. I can take it. I'm strong. And then when you go into dating and maybe the men you're looking for, you want someone to take care of you. You've never been taken care of, so you don't know how that works. Because you've always taken care of the church, and you've been taught that's your job. You're the servant. Someone shouldn't serve you.

I love this so much because that word servant, we hear so much. Yes, we're here to serve. Serve God, serve men, serve the community. Yes, all of that. Yeah. It feels very, very limiting in a lot of different ways. So, you know, you talked about things being external, and I always think about kind of our lives in relationships. So, you know, one of the first relationships, if you grew up in the church and most of us do is the church. And so as we think about these foundational relationships, like what do you think is. Obviously we talked about servitude, but are there any other things that you think are taught in this very foundational relationship that can really indoctrinate us into how to be in relationship?

Narcissism and gaslighting. We normalize manipulation from the church.

Oh, my eye just popped out. Not the narcissism. Not the N word, girl.

I know, right? That word that no one ever likes to talk about, but that's how we learned it. Just think about it. I, I said before our first relationships with, or our first relationships with our parents. And those were typically narcissistic because a lot of parents view us, view children as servants. And then you go to the church and it's reinforced where it's, it's my way. You don't question God. You don't question authority. You definitely don't question the men within the church. You do as you're told. But if something happens to you, then it's, well, why did you let that happen to you? Well, you told me not to question, but yeah, but why would you let someone, someone do that to you? So then you're being gaslit, like, oh, it's my fault. It's my fault that this person did this to me, but I thought I was. So you're constantly trying to prove that, like, okay, well, what's wrong with me? It's me. You know, I need them to love me because I don't love myself. And that's another thing. That's another relationship. The church does it, it makes your love consume with the church instead of consume with yourself. Self love and self care isn't taught within the church because if it was, the church would make no money. You, you need to, you need to buy your blessings. Tithe. Give to the church again. Give, give, give, give, give, serve. Keep being a giver. And then when you need something back, how dare you need something? The Lord always provides. If he's not providing for you, it's your fault.

And you're ungrateful.

You're ungrateful. You know, you, you didn't do something. What did you do? And it's like this. It's almost like you have big brother constantly staring down at you. Your friends become the church. The people in the community are constantly watching you. You can do nothing wrong. But as people, especially as children, as we grow up, you're going to do something wrong. That's that's a part of human, that's a part of growth. The church doesn't allow for growth because growth is a, is a good way to manipulate. And my mom always said this, which is crazy because she's narcissistic, but she.

Always said, hashtag, black mom, girl, no.

Shame, love her to death. But she's very much so narcissistic. But she always would tell me there's a lot of money in people's insecurities. You can, you can profit off of people's insecurities. And the church profits heavily off of black women insecurities. Because you notice how in the church, black women aren't the one who are preaching these services. They are normally the wives, they're the, the deaconesses. Yes, you're the usher. You're in some level of servitude to the men. So look at even that relationship dynamic. A man is always above you. God is a man always above you. It's always the Father above you, then it's you. And you're always trying to prove that you're worthy to stand next to him, but you're never going to be him. So when you're constantly in that situation where you're trying to prove yourself and they know that they're profiting off of you. And that's what makes me so I don't, I don't mind relationship with God. I think it's actually a beautiful thing. But if we are God's children and God dwells within us, then and we're supposed to love God and respect God, and if God is dwelling within you, how do you allow yourself to be taken advantage of? How do you allow yourself to continue to be to self harm and not care for yourself and not put yourself first? If you are God, if you are the child of God, it doesn't make any sense because they taught you how to not care about yourself.

Yeah.

Within that narcissistic relationship.

Thank you so much for breaking this down because this is so important. One of the things that I do and focus on as someone who works with women of color as it pertains to dating is girl, you have to center yourself. And it feels so wrong because you have been taught this other thing and it's coming with a godly force. So when I say you need to center yourself, it feels like you're sinning, that you're a sinner, that you're a.

Bad person because you're taught again, you're a servant. So if the moment you're not serving you're doing wrong. Because if your job is to serve, why are you trying to do anything else? And that's the issue. That's the, that's the fight. Which is why we have some churches now saying like, oh, if you're doing manifestation, if you're doing self care, that's demonic because you should be serving. That's, that's your job. But again, and this is the question I would have for your, for people who come to you, I would ask them, if you're, if you are a child of God and you're supposed to love and treat yourself like God treats the church, then how could you not love yourself?

Right?

If God dwells within you, how could you not love yourself? And if you're not loving yourself, you're not loving God. If that's your logic.

Well, girl, sometimes they don't, they don't want to play with the logic, girl. They don't want to get into that logic game, girl, because the truth hurts.

And also, and this is what I will say, I, I feel for, I feel for women, especially women of color and black women.

Yes.

Because imagine living in a world where everyone tells you that you're wrong and you're not desirable, you're, you're not good enough, you're just not enough. And then you reinforce that through relationships, through your spirituality, through your emotions, through work, you're constantly enforced that you're just not enough. And then someone says you are enough. Well, all these people are telling me that I'm not enough. But the world, how, why would I believe you? And it's because you don't trust yourself. You know, you don't know yourself. And a lot of the, the self hatred and thinking you're not worthy of good relationships, healthy relationship, relationship with people who provide are because you don't love yourself enough to think you deserve that because you don't provide yourself, that you don't provide for yourself. Your nails aren't done, your hair isn't done. You know, you don't, you don't eat clean, you don't, you don't work out, you don't, you don't do stuff for your body, you don't take care of yourself. You don't journal, you don't process your own emotions. So why should anyone else do that for you? If you don't do that for yourself? If your parents didn't do that for you, why would a random stranger, a random man want to take care of you? That's the disconnect.

I think that's so funny. And you mentioned a lot of things that feel very external but actually do have a result of affecting your internal. So like when the church girls hear that, it feels like, oh my God, I'm going to be vain. I don't want to be vain. I don't want to focus on those things. Because a good Christian woman.

Yeah.

So it can feel like that stuff isn't for me. Yeah. So what do you tell them when they have this mentality? Because here's the thing, obviously we're talking in a church and somewhat Christian context, but whatever we're talking about in this context, we can represent in our lives in totality because it's similar messaging. Yeah. So how can we tell ourselves, how can we be okay with, you know, doing these things for ourselves when we've been taught so long that they are too much?

I think you have to believe that you deserve it. Like that's the thing. You have to believe that you deserve these things. And also stop feeling guilty for, for wanting more. Like that's the. I think that's the thing. You feel guilty because you. It's a perspective change. You still see it as vanity. I see it as self love.

Yeah.

I see it as love for my higher self and my higher power. Like I don't not believe in a higher power. I do. I believe in God. So to not serve myself is to not serve my God. Because my God wants the best for me.

Right.

And if I'm giving half ass work, then I'm not doing what he asked me to do. I'm not doing what they asked me to do.

Right.

And so for in a Christian perspective, if God loves you, how can you not love you? If God wants you to be the best and look the best or feel the best, why are you not giving that to yourself? You're going against the person you said you love and you respect by going against yourself. And I think the idea is people don't see themselves as God. They don't see themselves through the lens of a higher power, even the lens of people who love them. Like, I have an amazing friend who I think is absolutely stunning and she doesn't see herself that way. And I'm like, I wish you saw yourself through my eyes. You're amazing mother, you're gorgeous. You change your whole diet up. But because people are so jaded by their trauma, you can't see the reflection that I'm seeing. So I would say get a support system. Couple yourself with people who see your beauty even when you don't love you because then after a while it'll train your mind to love you.

I love that so much. Because what generally will happen, and I tell people this all the time, is like, you will meet people at the level that you think of yourself at, right?

Absolutely.

On a scale, if you think you're a five girl, you're going to meet people that are going to reinforce that and think you're.

And then my, my question is always, because, you know, I get, I get a lot of comments just strictly off the way my body is shaped and they're like, why do you think you're a 10? I'm like, why not? What benefit is it going to make me to think that I'm less than, than what I deserve? So what? What? It doesn't matter. Everyone's going to improve. The most beautiful people in the world can still have room for improvement. No one. I'm not looking for perfection. And I think a lot of church girls, because my grandfather was a pastor, what is a pastor? And I think a lot of us are looking for perfection and get rid of perfection. You're not perfect that you're not supposed to be perfect. The world isn't perfect. We see. And I've, I've said this before with, within my lives. We'll see animals and creatures in the world and all their imperfections. And we don't see their imperfections. We just see a massive beautiful elephant or a beautiful sky. We don't see the clouds. We're like, that's beautiful. Why can't you see that within yourself? Why can't those flaws just be characters and stories within your life? Like, why does it have to be a negative thing? There's no benefit you're getting.

Right? I love that you earlier in this conversation highlighted that that oftentimes the church will profit off of your insecurities. And it is a way to connect with the church and the community to be kind of stay in this kind of self identity that isn't a 10, right? That if I'm a 10, then why am I here?

I have to be a five or six or a seven so that there's always opportunity for me to be better or improve or something like that. And I just want to highlight this because it's an important connection with dating when you're always feeling like you have to improve. It also means that you will never see the beauty and accept what happens in other people because you will always think that they need to improve as well. And the job of being a great dater and being in A healthy relationship is learning how to accept people for whom who they are and not their potential.

Yeah, potential blocks a lot of us because we're constantly like, well, maybe if I stay long enough it'll be. And I say this all the time. I'm g. Say this all the time. Longevity is a curse, especially within relationships. And I say that because this society romanticizes longevity instead of health. So it's, it's, oh, I've been together 50 years. Yeah, you also gave her 25 STDs and three babies. Outside of the relationship, I don't want to hear about your 50 year long relationship. I want to hear about the relationship where you guys are actively working together not for perfection, but for self acceptance. Like that's it. You should want a person not that is going to be better, but understand this is who they are. Like if you can, if you don't like somebody, like I said this all the time. If you have preferences, go for your preference. People don't like me because of the way I look, that's fine. I want you to go for your preference. I don't want you to date. Because in the future I may look a different way or behave a different way. Like me for who I am now, if I never change and if that person never changes, are you going to still love them? If you're not going to still love them, then go away. But then also are you projecting? Because a lot of us do that we're like, oh no, like I feel like they can be better. No, because you feel like you can be better in this respect.

That's it. Because of the programming of that, you have to always be better, improving and.

Doing all that you need to, you feel. And so you're constantly finding flaws that you can fix in other people. So you can avoid fixing those issues within yourself or just accepting them.

That's right.

So you're finding them in everyone and then you wonder why you're dating people who aren't good for you. And the sad part is a lot of the people we talk to, all the people we talk to, I'm just going to generalize. All people we talk to are mirrors of ourselves. So if you don't like the way this person talks to you, are you communicating that way? Because for me, if someone calls me out of my name, it's, I don't call myself out of my name.

Right.

So I'm like, like I get the immediate, immediate ick. Like, oh no, we're never going to work together. Because I could never imagine Calling myself a derogatory name. So that's something you do. It doesn't work for me. But if that's something you call yourself, like I'm the B word, I'm the C word, I'm whatever, then of course you're going to think it's acceptable if someone else does it because that's what you do to yourself.

Yeah.

So it's, it's definitely, it's again, it goes back to self awareness and it goes back to internalizing the church. And dating never allows you to love your inner child. So for the longest time, a lot of people are stuck where they were first hurt and they never grow past that. So people will be 30 years old, but operating like a 5 year old because it was the first time you were ever hurt. So you're looking for that like nurturing figure. Someone tell you that you're good enough because someone at 5 didn't validate you. And so you're fighting it.

This is so important. I think most of the time it's between the ages of 5 and 8. Yes. Black women are stuck. I always tell them, y' all are like 250 years old intellectually, but emotionally you're eight.

Girl, you are. So we've got to make sure that. And that's the sad part. And then you go out and you date and what you're not looking for is a partner. You're looking for a parent.

That's right.

So then that parent dynamic, of course someone's going to be controlling and overbearing. That's a parent. A parent has to guide you through things. So they're going to, to control your life. So you're wondering why you're constantly in relationships with people who are controlling your. People who aren't validating you. You're in those kinds of relationships because you never healed. You never healed your inner child. You never gave yourself validation. I was in the gym. I just started going back to the gym.

Girl, you better than me.

Oh, yeah. I was like, at this point, self awareness is knowing that when you, when your body is just not. You're not giving yourself enough. So I'm like, I'm not giving myself enough. I could do better. Like, I love myself, but I need to do better. So I was in the gym and I was, I was going the last rep and I'm like working out and pumping iron and I heard myself say, I'm so proud of you. And I broke into tears. Wow. Mind you, I was listening to gospel music when I was doing this Like, I work out to gospel music. I don't work out to like pop up music because to me it's a spiritual experience.

I'm.

I want to be connected to my body and, and I heard myself say, I'm so proud of you. And I broke down because I'm like, oh, I don't need this from anyone else. I'm not in here for anyone else. But that little girl who didn't feel like she was good enough and everyone made her feel bad about herself and bad about her body and she finally feels validated. And I didn't need someone else to tell them, tell me I'm proud. I told myself that. And those little breakthroughs or I think people expected to be big. It was, no one was around, no one could, could see me go through this transition. It's those little moments where you're by yourself in your room in the dark and you're like, I'm good enough.

Yeah.

That's where the real discovery happens. But everyone thinks it has to be broadcasted. No, it's, it's you. You need to validate you. Because in those dark times when your man ain't around, when your parents ain't around, you still need to love you.

Yeah. And care for you 100%. I want to go back to this point about kind of staying stuck at that five, six, seven, eight year old little girl. And all this affects, especially if you grow up in the church, because oftentimes so many of us in the community will use church as counseling. As a therapist, you go to the sermon on Sunday and that is the therapist session, when in reality, most of those sermons are not for the little girl that she can't find herself in those sermons. And so for any of y' all out there listening, who, who is that little girl? Like, please feel empowered to find a therapist, a counselor, a coach to help you navigate that when you haven't. Because life obviously, you know, is a hamster wheel and will get you at the school and the job and you're so busy that you won't even have time to kind of do that. Most of the work that I do is Talking to that 8 year old little girl. Because most women out there are dating as the eight year old little girl and not in their grown woman status. I think this is the point that has to be hammered down more and more and more and more. And here's the thing, ladies, so many of us are feeling shame about asking for help, getting help. I want to let you know that your best girlfriend are Going to a quote unquote analyst. And they might not even be telling you, girl, because they. It like there's so many black women going to therapy and not talking about it. The shame is because therapy actually is. Feels. Can feel anti church.

Yeah. It's because again, it's about you. It's not about anyone else. And it goes back to you. Therapy, journaling, processing your own emotions. That's internal work that you've been trained not to do. And also, not only have you been trained not to do, you've been given a different voice. A lot of us don't have never developed our own voice because we were traumatized at that 5 or 6, 5 to 8 range. So we never got the chance to have our own opinions and critically think. We knew something didn't feel right. But we didn't have a chance to say, like, why we. We were never we because we were told that's disrespectful. Don't ask.

Don't question anything.

Don't be disrespectful and back talk. So we were never allowed to have our own voices. So now when we're older and we're expected to know how to talk and stand up for ourselves, we don't. Because we never develop that. We are essentially mimicking what the church and our parents told us to say. And we wonder why it's not working. And frankly, let's just say this. If the church doesn't have successful relationships, I mean, relationships you want, and your parents didn't have a relationship 1. Why are you taking their advice?

Yeah.

And it's like, why? You want something different, so you have to do something different. So asking for help is normal. I say this all the time. If you're doing life alone, you're doing life wrong. Someone knows more than you. Stop trying to reinvent the wheel. Go to a coach if you need one. Go to a therapist. Go to a counselor. That's what you're supposed to do. That's how you build connection. Get help. It's out there for a reason. Stop trying to invent the wheel. Do it with someone else.

That remind, like, this is what all these white mediocre white boys are doing and becoming successful because they're asking for help and they're getting it from people who know what happened. When I first went into university, I was studying engineering and I was studying mechanical engineering. And all of these. All. All of the Asians study together. All of the white football boys study together. And I was so in my. I don't I can't ask for help. I got to do it all by myself because I have to prove myself and all of that. That girl. My grades suffered. And all of these people that were not as smart as me were doing great grades because they had the resources and the community to help them.

Connection and networking. That's the crazy part. A lot of. A lot of people are not smart. I say this all the time. A lot of people are just not smart. And that's okay. Like, we're smart in different aspects, but we're not geniuses, and that's fine. A lot of it is about who you know and how well you can get to know somebody. It's that community building. And if you're so scared to say, hi, I'm Davin, how are you? Or, hi, I need some help doing this, because you look like you know what you're doing, and I have no idea.

That's why we get nowhere. We constantly stay stagnant within our entire community, dating, career, everything. Because we are so scared to admit that we have no idea what we're doing, even though that's all of life. At some point. You didn't know how to read until you ask someone for help to how to read. So why is it weird to ask someone for help for, like, navigating through school or navigating through your career? I found out I'm going to school for behavioral science, that one of my dad's best friends are in behavioral science, all because I asked a question. That's it. So you're making your life more complicated and more hard because you refuse to build community. And then I think that's why you feel so alone. A lot of people are lonely because they don't have good friends, they don't have a good support system, and they're trying to find all that in romantic partner. And it's like your romantic partner isn't supposed to be there to fulfill all the holes that you refuse to fill yourself.

You. They're supposed to, and they can't. Exactly. They can't. That's why relationship failed. They cannot. They don't have the ability. They don't know you like you know you. And you're trying to teach them you, and you don't know you. So you wonder why it's failing. Because it's two people who are supposed to be supporting each other through their journey instead trying to fill each other's holes without filling their own. Their own insecurities in their own holes. Like, it's just. It's a Constant fight. And I think that I just. I. I want. I want us to understand that you're not alone, ladies. You're not alone. There's someone out there who wants to help you that are begging to help you, and you refuse to take it because you don't think you're worthy. And you are worthy and.

Or right. When we are kind of in the church, what often happens too, is the messaging and the conditioning is pray on it and then, you know, faith without work. So pray on it and then do what you gotta do to make it happen. Instead of asking five people, hey, I need help.

Because you can. The crazy part is you can't ask the church for help. I say this all the time. People have been tithing for 20 years, and then their lights about to get shut off. They knock on the church's door, they tell them, pray about it. God will provide. Not the church, but God will provide. These people don't.

Not all churches. Some churches do help, but for the most part. For the most part, My experience as.

Well, yeah, some people, certain churches do help. But then that also goes back to, are you willing to ask? Because if you've been trained not to ask any question. Yeah, asking for help or. Or like feeling like, oh, I don't have it all. You're not supposed to have it all. Like, now there is plenty of churches who will take you. But like, my grandfather runs a church and he has a. He puts aside the ti. Tithing or tithes for these reasons for people to pay their bills. Do you need food? The recession is looming. What do you need help with? That's what he puts money aside for. And he's like, people never ask me for anything. Like, to the point where I have to see them struggling and be like, hey, guys, you're struck. What's going on? Do you need help? And they're like, but I don't want to bother you. And he's like, that's what I'm here for. Like, this is what I'm supposed to guide you through your spiritual journey. How do I know where you are if you don't tell me where you are? I don't know.

I think also people need to understand that when you ask for help, it's an honor for the other person to receive that ask. It feels. It's an ego.

So that's what's crazy. People love talking about themselves, and I don't think enough people understand that. People love talking about themselves and loving. Love talking about what they know how to do. So the idea that you walk up to them and they're like, you have. I don't know how to do this. Can you help me? Even when it comes to, like, dating a relationship with men, I learned this really quickly in my last relationship. I don't know how to work on cars. I have no idea. But you know what my man did? He went out and he learned how to work on cars. Now I got five men out here. I made lemonade, I made cookies. And I sat there while they worked on cars. And they told me about it, and their eyes lit up, telling me, explaining me what they're doing. And it made me feel good to even hear it. And it made them feel even better to teach me and help me. People want to help people, but they're so scared to overstep because people don't want to ask for the help 100%.

I'm so glad that you connected it to dating, because this is how men feel of value to you when they are able to provide and to help. And when you say, oh, I got it, and you're playing Miss Independent 2023, 2024, girl, they're going to just find someone else that they can feel good around and that they can feel like they are of value to.

And child, I've been there. I've been Miss Independent, and all it leads me to is tiredness. I'm exhausted at the end of the day. Because at this point, this is what it is. Ms. Independent is always Ms. Exhausted.

That's right, honey.

And overwhelmed.

And overwhelmed and burnt out. And then mad and jealous because she sees other people getting help and stuff. Why can't no one help me? You won't let them. Okay? That's the problem. You have to let people help you. And. And this is my thing. I've learned from my grandfather that men are trained to want to provide. Men. I'm not talking the boys. I'm talking about the men.

That's right.

Men are trained to want to provide for you. They want to be of service. That's how they show up in society. That's a part of their masculine programming. According to my grandfather. They want to provide for their families. They want to provide for the people they love. So if they can't do that, it's working against what they're supposed to be doing. Society tells them to do. You know, their. Their nurture, nurturing side tells them what to do. They want to take care of you. And if you insist on taking care of yourself, you're not giving him room to do anything. For you. And I don't even talk about financially, emotionally. If you want to sit up there and say, I'll cry by myself. What is the purpose of him being there? What's the purpose of having a partner go in that man's arms? Like, that's the problem. Why are you so scared of being vulnerable? Like, you're so scared of. Oh, I'm scared of being hurt. Well, news flash. You're gonna get hurt.

You're gonna get hurt either way, girl, whether you're scared about it or not. Whether you're vulnerable or not. Girl, that's right.

I think that you got hurt before you made it through. You're still here. So, like, why are you scared to get hurt again? You have the tools now. You know what it feels like. You'll be fine. You'll make it through. Stop being so scared of being vulnerable. There's so much power in and feminine vulnerability. I'll even say that. Not to get feminine, masculine, but there's so much power in you being open and relatable and human. Like, humans have emotion. Be human. Stop trying. You are not supposed to this world on your own. Please let a person love you and take care of you. That's what they're there for. That's there for.

Girl, I'm glad that you said it, girl, because I'm tired of saying it every week. But.

Girl, this has been such a great conversation. Thank you so much for being here. Where can the people connect with you if they want to hear more about your words, how you think, your thought process, all of that?

Absolutely. I'm on Tik Tok. That's like, my only social media platform, but I'm on TikTok.

I.

My name is. I'm Davin. Drew Davin. Spelled D A, V N. So I am D A, V N. That's me. And if you ever need to talk to me, always. DM me. I'm open. I'm a human being. So if you ever have any questions, please let me know because we're healing and working through this together.

Yes, we are. And I'll put all her information in the show notes. Girl, thank you so much for being here. I had a pl.

I appreciate. Stop. Where the church girls we go. We going to get you guys right.

We do it together. Yeah, right.

It's.

It's. It takes a village. It takes a community. So thank you again for being here. So happy.

No problem. No problem. I appreciate you. Thank you for having me.

Of course. All right, ladies, I hope that this was helpful for you email me at amore@getyourguycoaching.com Let me know what you think about this episode and I'll talk to you on the flip side. Bye bye.

Hey girl. Thank you so much for listening to the GetYourGuy coaching podcast. If you like this episode and want to talk with me personally, please book a free consultation at www.getyourguycoaching.com. apply or subscribe and leave me a review wherever you listen to your podcasts. Talk soon.