Rizz Up Your Dating Life with L.K.P.

Hey, girl. Welcome to the GetYourGuy coaching podcast. My name is Anwar White, but you can just call me your own personal dating and relationship coach. Each week you'll hear actionable advice, tips and strategies that you can implement in your own love life. I'm talking about healing your heart, dating effectively, and understanding men so that you can, you guessed it, get your guy. Are you ready to level up your love life? All right, let's go.

I never felt the way I do without anyone but you.

Hello, hello, hello, my lovelies. I hope you're doing so well. This is Coach Anwar here again with the get your guy coaching podcast. I'm so glad that you decided to join us. We have a special, special, special guest today, and before I introduce her, I want to let you all know that the apps are not apping. So it means that we're going to have to get outside. It means that we're going to have to touch grass. It means that we're going to have to touch men, we're going to have to engage with men, we're going to have to interact with men. And I think that this is the perfect guess to help us as we navigate these new dating inroads that we're going to have to lean into. Now, with that said, I want to introduce what we call, who we call LKP or Ms. Keegan. Girl, can you introduce yourself to the listeners? Let them know who you are, what you do?

Yes, absolutely. Hi, you guys. I go by lkp, AKA low key pros on social media. I am a poet and I basically write lines for people, specifically women, to use in their everyday lives and especially their dating life. So. So I'm happy to be here, girl.

I'm happy that you're here too, girl, because the girls need it. And that's no shade, girl. That's all tea. The girls come to me all the time and they're like, I don't know how to flirt, I don't know how to engage. I don't know how to do X, Y and Z. And I'm gagged. I'm truly gagged. And so I'm just so happy that you're here today so that we can help the girls riz up their dating lives. So for us old heads, girl, what is rizzing and why is it important in dating?

Well, wrist is actually just short for charisma, basically. And I like to say that it's really the ability to banter. And I find that when you have that skill of being able to banter in your everyday life and especially in your dating life, it just makes you a more effective communicator that I think that everybody needs to know and to do.

100, 100%. I feel like a lot of people are scared to riz, to flirt, to banter, because they're scared of rejection. Right. And so, like, for those women that are like, I don't want to do it, I'm scared. What are they going to say? What are they going to do? What would you tell them?

Get over it. I, you know, we're at the age where I'm just like, you can't be afraid to talk to people. Like, if you want to get anywhere in life, you want to have friends, you have to go out there and get it. If you want a relationship, you have to put yourself in the path to get it. If you want the job, you have to go out there and get it. So I. I just find that, you know, being afraid of rejection shouldn't stop you from at least trying and at least starting. And I think that it's just the buildup of them potentially saying no. But why do we immediately go to the no? Why can't we be like, but what if he says yes? What if I do get the job? What if it actually turns out to be a really great conversation? Like, everything doesn't need to kind of have this end goal of achieving something, of getting something from someone. I think just the simpleness of being like, I worked up the courage to go after something that I wanted. That's the accomplishment right in there. So, girl, grow up. Go talk to them.

Go get it.

Like, what are we still. Come on.

Like, put those big girl panties on, honey.

Yeah. Or the big girl thong. Whatever suits your needs. That's a song, girl.

That's a song. Song.

In 2020, we're not wearing any. Like, let's just put something on. Put on the bravery, Put on whatever, and let's go out here and get it. Like, I'm tired. I'm tired.

I love that. I love it. No, and you mentioned something that was so important when we first came together, which was the objective doesn't have to be about getting some guy's number or getting your boyfriend or getting your husband. The objective can just be having the conversation. Can you speak a little bit more to that? Because I think that that, like, that is such a mindset shift and such a great reframe, especially for those overachiever girls that have to get the A in everything that they do.

Yeah. I mean, I think because that's what the biggest thing right is with rejection. People don't want to talk to people because they think, oh, what if, you know, there's worse things she could say than no, she could say, oh, you're ugly. How can you talk to me? The fears that you think are going to happen nine times out of ten are not going to happen. I find that when you just have the mindset of like, I'm just going to go and say hi, it makes it a lot less scary. Scary just to get up there and do it. I think we over complicate it too much. Like, when you say hi to someone, they're gonna say it back. They're not gonna ignore you. And if they do, great. That's so much you probably don't even want to talk to anyway. People are gonna say good morning back to you. They're going to introduce themselves like people. I feel like we all want to be talked to. We all want to be understood. We all want to tell people what we like and what we don't like. Just give people the opportunity to. To tell themselves, like about themselves and just listen and have that conversation. We all just want to talk about ourselves and just listen and have someone like, to be on the opposite side. Absolutely.

Yeah, A hundred percent. I think a lot of people have trauma and triggers from junior high and high school, and we're kind of still living in that little girl brain. And that's no shade that is like, oh, I did this before in the past and it didn't go go so well because, you know, kids are horrible, right? Teenagers are the worst. But you think that that is going to be reflective of your adult life. And I just think it's important to make the differentiation that it's like completely different. And this is the same with vulnerability because, Riz, flirting banter is vulnerable. It's the same with boundaries. It's the same with a lot of different things that we might be operating with our little girl brain. Instead of realizing that, no, I can step into my grown woman status and my experience can be different because of that. So I'm just really glad that we were able to differentiate that. I always tell my girls, I'm like, here's the thing. And this is for my shy and my introverted girls as well. It's like, girl, when you go into a clothing store and you're looking for your size, you're not nervous. You tell people exactly what you want. You tell them exactly how you want it. And that is the sort of energy and confidence that we need to bring when it comes to talking to these people, these guys or whoever. Whoever you're talking to. Because ultimately, I think that a lot of women are pedestalizing these men. And I would love for you to talk a little bit about kind of how you think about rising when you're engaging with men and, like, how to get out of that, you know, putting them on a pedestal and. And really being in your power as a woman.

Well, a part of that is also just decentering men from your life so that you don't put them on a pedestal. I find that a lot of men are not worthy of the pedestals that we put them on. If anything, you know, women are the pedestal. We have a lot of power. We have a lot of control and, you know, communic how we present ourselves. And when it comes to communicating with men or just love in general, we find that we have to, like, kind of put ourselves down and, like, focus so much on him. And when it comes to rising, which really helps me, I just have the mindset that I am the prettiest, sexiest girl ever. And every conversation just goes, well. I mean, and is it delusion? Absolutely. But who's going to tell you that you're wrong? Who's going to tell you that that's not correct except for you? And when that mindset of, like, every comp. Like, he wants to talk to me, he's happy to talk to me. He's happy that I'm even talking to him. I think that mindset shift is so much better than being like, what if he says no? It's okay if he does. What if he's uninterested? It's okay if he isn't. I'll find someone that is. It's not so much about him. It's about how you feel about yourself that will help you communicate with anybody. And that way it's like, where's the pedestal? Oh, I'm sitting on it. He's not on it. Why? I don't even know him. His name is Joe. I don't care. It's about me. It's always about you. And I think that's the mindset that we should have more of in this dating scene, Especially in these nowadays.

Yeah, definitely. I always tell. That's what I call my law.

Of.

Of course, of course he wants to be with me. Of course he wants to flirt with me. Of course, of course he wants to talk to me.

He's just happy to be there.

100%. Yeah. And having that mentality I think is really, really helpful. And if you need a visual, because we have some visual learners out there. I want everyone that's listening to think about the Michael Jackson music video, Remember the Time. And Iman is on her throne and she's having all of these guys, jesters, you know, entertainers, performers in front of her, right. Trying to perform, trying to get her pleasure. And this is the sort of energy that we need to bring when it comes to engaging with men. We can't, you know, be a peasant, honey. We got to be in our queen energy.

Right? Absolutely. And you know what? I love that song that Remember the Time was like my favorite song ever by Michael Jackson. So hearing you say that, I'm like, oh my gosh. I'm like, I love that YouTube video.

Oh, awesome. Good. Okay, so, girl, I want to go, I want to get into the nitty gritty. I want to talk a little bit about different scenarios and I would love for you to kind of give some examples of kind of riz that that you can give in these certain situations. Right. Because the interesting thing and what I've learned is that the ladies, sometimes they need language that they can either take for their own or that can inspire them. And we can talk through kind of the mentality. The thought process behind some of these respons is. Right. Okay, so let's get started. So let's say that you're like chatting on the app. Sometimes the girls are like, well, what sort of intro can I say? How can I. How can I keep things going and have a level of lightness and flirtation involved while we're chatting on the apps? What would you say to that when.

You want something to say? I think we over complicated. Just look at their profile and what stood out to you that made you want to match with them and go off of that? That's definitely what I would say. And you know, to be witty and to, I guess not give like the expected type of response. Like, for example, if, you know, you match with a guy on there and you want something interesting to say, even just being like, you know, do you think us matching together is going to fulfill the prophecy? I love to implement a bit of confusion when it comes to communication. I find that when you confuse men, it's just like, what is she trying to say? Like, I need to know what she means. And nine times out of ten is going to be like, what are you talking about? And then just being like, you know, us deleting the app together, which is a great start to be like, you know what? Listen, why are we both on here? Let's, let's, let's get off of here and, like, meet in real life and see if we vibe, you know, other than, you know, mixing in something different. Just go off of their profile and see what stood out to you to make them, you know, to make that one. Whatever made you want to match with them in the first place. That's what I would say.

Okay, got it. So what sort of Riz would you have if you're meeting a stranger just, like, on the street, right? Or like, you know, let's say you're in a coffee shop and y' all are both in the coffee shop and, you know, you have some sort of interaction either in the line or you're sitting at your table and he comes up and says hello. What sort of language Riz would you have to kind of, you know, keep things fun and interesting and playful?

I find that it's really easy to riz and to flirt when you're pulling things from your environment to start the conversation, because a lot of it is like, oh, he's there. How can I talk to him in a way that's natural and not awkward? Like, what would be a good excuse for me to just talk to this random stranger? So, for the example of, like, in a coffee line, and I've done this so many times, is if I'm see a cute guy in line, I'm going to pretend it's my first time there, and I'm going to be like, you know, hi, excuse me, Sorry, this is my first time here. Like, what do you recommend on this meeting? Because I have absolutely no idea. And just from that first sentence, you can see if he's interested to, like, give you a well thought out answer. Just be like, oh, I don't know. That's kind of like your first cube. Like, oh, he's interested or he's not. And then when he does give his recommendation is being like, okay, well, I trust your judgment, so I'm trusting you. Do you. Is it okay if I put my trust in you right now and just hyping it up of like, oh, my gosh, either like, the muffin or the brownie and then going from there. Okay, like, what's your name? Do you come here often? Be like, okay, should I come here more often if you're also going to be here? Like, what should we do? You know, just being playful and fun. And then as far as, you know, say we're not in line and I'm at a Table. And they're also crossing the table, but we're making eye contact. I saw this really cute TikTok that I thought would be absolutely perfect to do as well. It was this girl at a restaurant. She sees a guy from across the. Across the restaurant, and she goes up to him and says, hey, are you using this chair? Because he was, like, sitting by himself and, like, four chairs around him. He's like, no, you can go ahead and use it. She just sits in the chair and just cute, effortless, and a perfect way to be like, okay, and what's your name? Like, where are you from? I think just doing those simple things and using your environment can really help the Riz come into play. And it's as simple as that. And I love to watch.

I was like, oh, my God, that is.

I love that. I'm still like that myself. That was cute.

So much fun. Now, that's a little bold for some of the girls out there, right? I mean, I think that there's, like, bold Riz, and I think it's, like, a little bit tamer Riz, right? Depending on, like, what your natural thing is. Like, I'm a bold girl, so I like that. I like to keep it cute and let these men know exactly what I wanted from them. I'm married with children now and suburban mother of three, so she's not rising as much as she used to, except for in the house. But for the girls that are, like, a little bit tamer. Right. I think that the first example that you gave, I think, is, like, something that is very doable. My second one, I think is obviously a little bit bolder. Talk to me a little bit about, like, texting, right? Because I think, you know, oftentimes what will happen is, like, you might go on a date with someone or there might be time between, you know, when you first meet them, to a first real physical date where there's so much time and opportunity and space to keep things going, keep the momentum going, let it simmer a little bit. And I think rizzing is so important. I think. I think so many people get into text purgatory and get into, like, the good morning text. Hi, how are you? How was your day? And that shit is so boring, right? So how can we. How can we keep it hot? Fun simmered with some riz while texting.

Well, you know, going back to what you said of, like, the typical good morning and good night text and the how are you? Texts are boring. I would say adding more colorful language. To ask how someone's morning is going without asking. Like, how is your morning going? Like for example, like you know, I would. I wrote this line kind of like more so for the guys to use on the girls. But you know, just saying, you know, starting my day by hoping yours goes well, something like that or even like gender neutral for women to also say like, you know, another Monday chat later to compare, you know, that way it's, it's consistent communication but not constant. Like we're having like a little pinpoint of like hey, we both knowledge that this is a Monday. Can we let's chat later and like ask about, you know, what went on every day or even you know, something cute for a girl to say for a good morning is, you know, saying hello to keep your morning company and just starting off like that. And instead of like, you know, the typical good night text, you know, something cute and flirty, heading to bed. Unless I think of something for you to wake up to. Open ended. It can mean whatever. I could send you a meme or a song. But it's something for you to look forward to when you wake up tomorrow morning. Like, oh, what is she gonna send me? Okay, I got something for you. Okay.

Mind is going crazy when you say yes.

Yes. Mine goes crazy when you say that or even like let's bookmark this tonight. So my morning involves you again. It's something that is colorful, that adds more texture to the conversation than like, how you doing? Good. What you up to? Nothing. Just chilling like no, instead of like when he asked, hey, how are you staying out of trouble? Unless I'm tempted. Just. And that's what I help the girlies with. Just adding a lot more flirtatiousness than being like, I'm good. How are you? Like those examples, I found that with my audience really work well to charm and romance.

Yeah, a hundred percent. This is exactly why I brought you on. Because I think it's important to bring some fun to your dating life. A lot of ladies are not having fun in dating because they are on the defensive. Right. I, I always say like a lot of women are, are like have a shield, right? When they're talking to guys because they're in protective mode, defensive mode, and we need to be on the offensive. Right. Instead of having the shield as if you're at war, I want you to have like a, like a cape, like a matador and like, you know, olay these right. And let them charge at you, but then move the cape and continue to play. This has to be play. And I'm So glad that you're giving language for women to inspire them to play when it comes to this, because that's what dating is about at the end of the day. And if you can't play girl, why are you doing it?

Exactly. I completely agree. And, you know, going with being on the. The offensive versus the defensive, I find that instead of focusing on whether, like, they like you or if you're doing good job, do you like them, are they doing a good job, what is it about them that they're doing well, or what are they not doing well? And I find that when you just listen and have them tell, you know, themselves they're telling on themselves, you just have to listen. And I find that when you just shift the mindset of, like, no, it's. It's me enjoying this moment, it's me enjoying this experience and seeing if we mesh well to where I want to have this experience again, it just makes it a lot less like being on that defensive like you were just talking about. And I love that.

Yeah, very much. Good. What sort of. You know, a lot of women, when I have conversations with them, they're saying, you know, sometimes the beginning of dates, the end of dates can. Can be a bit awkward. Especially let's say there's been not a lot of intimacy or you want intimacy. Right. How do we kind of engage when we're first seeing each other, either on a first date or subsequent dates? Like, what sort of language have you seen or have you come up with when it comes to bringing that riz to those certain beginning and end of date situations?

I find that for the girlies that are comfortable with themselves and comfortable with other people, I find just having very minimal physical contact in the beginning. Like, I find that even just outside of, like, the dating realm, when I meet new people and they go in for a handshake. I'm sorry. I say I'm sorry. I'm not a shaker. I'm more of a hugger. Can I hug you? And that instantly kind of builds this connection of like, hey, I'm comfortable with myself and I want you to be comfortable with me. Like, we don't have to have this formality. And at the beginning of dates, you know, going in for the hug and be like, oh, my gosh, I'm so happy to see you. We're going to have a great time. I can already tell, you know, what do we have planned today? Or maybe we can just add more plans, depending on how this goes. I think just starting off the date with, you know, the hug versus the handshake is a great way to be like, I'm comfortable. And the state is going to be comfortable as well. And, you know, especially at the. I guess during the day, having that minimal physical contact of even, like, touching their shoulder when you're making a point in your conversation, touching their. Or touching their. Their arm, if they're saying something really, really funny, just to show that, like, you're connected and you are with them in that moment. I remember I was on a date, and I wanted to incorporate some. Just, like, some physicalness that was very casual, but it was very purposeful. I went on a date to the Museum of Illusions here in Charlotte. And, you know, as we're looking around and, like, seeing all the illusions and whatnot, there was one specific one where there was, like, a little mark on the ground, and you had to stay in that spot to kind of see the illusion in front of you. And everywhere else, you just couldn't see it. So I'm staying there, and I'm like, oh, yeah, that looks really cool. And he stands, but, like, not on the mark. So I say, no, you have to. You have to stand, like, right here. And so I motioned him to come on the spot, and I get behind him and just touch his waist and was like, no. Like, you can kind of see right there. Can you see it? And just minimal of, like, touching his waist is just a way to kind of build that very casual intimacy and to kind of bring that flirtatious banter with that without having to really say anything. And I just think that when you're comfortable with yourself and you can do things like that, depending on your shyness level, it just deepens the date and makes it a lot more romantic and a little more personable, I would say, yeah, 100%.

I think for the girlies that might not be super comfortable with touch, depending on their lived experience or just their different level of comfort in a situation like that. Ladies, one of the things that you can do is when he comes over, you can say, oh, my God, you take direction so well. I didn't know. And so now we have something to play with, right? Where you're giving him direction and he's taking it. And that's another way to be playful and have banter and flirt, right? Because there's. There's a lot of different ways that you can do this just based on your own style. Whether it's physical, whether it's more traditional, more gender role specific, whether it is. Is more sincere, which is more deeper, emotional Deeper, intellectual. And then obviously, we're talking more about the more playful Riz and flirting. But there are different ways to do this based on your kind of personality. And so just, you know, as you're thinking about this lesson, this episode, this session, we want you to be inspired. We want you to go out and talk to these people and have fun. And Riz up the way that you Riz?

Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah, definitely. Do you have any advice for the ladies to level up the confidence, to be able to sprinkle that rhythm there? Because it really does. It takes confidence, and it takes a little nerve.

I would say that the woman that you are aiming to be, that you inspire to be, is on the other side of the things that you don't want to do that you don't want to say, that you don't feel comfortable doing. I find that, you know, your comfort is going to make you miserable, and your comfort is going to keep you placated in a place in a mindset that you know that you are bigger than, you know that you are meant to be bigger than. And when you just get sick enough of your own of how you've communicated, of how you attract the same guys, of how you keep getting the same results with men, I find that it's going to push you to want better for yourself and to seek better for yourself and looking for new ways to flirt, looking for new ways to communicate with people around you. And I'm grateful that I'm in a position where I have helped so many, because the women that come to me are saying, you know, I just wanted to elevate my confidence and by implementing different ways to say hello, different ways to say, how are you? It's really dramatically affected my dating life to expand my vernacular, expand my communication. And I find that when you just take that step of, like, I want to do something different, that's when everything changes and then nothing can really ever be the same from that. And, yeah, that's what. That's what I say.

I love it. So awesome. So awesome. Well, thank you so much for being here. For the ladies that are listening, they're like, oh, my God, I need to get in contact with her. I need to work with her. How can they learn more about you and how can they connect with you?

Absolutely. I am low key pros on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube. I was a Twitter, but I don't have a Twitter kind of everywhere. You can also send me an email at low key pros gmail.com. i post very consistently on all those social media platforms and, you know, shoot me a DM on Instagram. I help the girlies out every single day. And I would love to help you out as well. It's. It's just what I love to do. So hit me up. Hit my line.

I love it. I love it. Thank you so much for being here, ladies. You heard it here. We got to riz up our dating lives. I hope that this episode has inspired you to show up a little bit different in your dating life with maybe some confidence, with a little bit more assertiveness and really taking the reins of this dating life of yours. Now, with that said, I will see you on the flip side. Be well. Go outside, touch men, touch grass, and rip it up. All right, Bye, y'. All.

Bye.

Hey, girl. Thank you so much for listening to the get your guy coaching podcast. If you like this episode and want to talk with me personally, please book a free consultation at www.getyourguycoaching.com. apply or subscribe and leave me a review. Wherever you listen to your podcasts, talk soon.