From Holistic Sex to Vaginal Kung Fu with Kim Anami | 787 | Dave Asprey

Bulletproof Radio, a state of high performance. You're listening to Bulletproof Radio with Dave Asprey. Today is going to be a fun interview because our guest is Kim Anami, who is here to talk about infusing more passion into your life and specifically into your bedroom. She's a very well known holistic sex and relationship coach. She's a writer and a speaker, and she talks about the spiritual side of sex, of tantra, of Taoism, transpersonal psychology, philosophy, quantum growth, and things that if you know me pretty well, you know that I'm into all of those things. I've written about my experiments to disprove the Taoist equations for male ejaculation. The Taoists were right, by the way. So this is going to be a really cool, a really cool interview, right in alignment with Valentine's Day and romance and all that kind of stuff. I want you to walk away from this podcast feeling good about sex, feeling like there's more levels to go to there and to look at it emotionally, spiritually and sexually. And Kim does really fantastic trainings as well that we're going to talk about something called Vaginal Kung Fu, which is both hilariously titled as like the best name ever, but also just really deep getting to know a part of our bodies, whether you're a man or a woman, that are a part of our spiritual experience in the world and a part of having power. You've heard me talk about the three F words, fear, food, and the other F word that all life forms do. Well, you need to be good at all three, and that's what this episode's for. Kim, welcome to the show.

I'm wonderful to be here. Thank you for having me. And I love the third F especially.

I think everyone likes it, but a lot of us don't like to talk about liking it. And if we don't like it, it's probably because we haven't learned how to do it right? Now tell me about when you first decided, oh, I'm going to open an online sex and relationship school when you weren't a known person. You didn't know this. What went through your head? I want to know.

Well, I was doing workshops already where I lived. I was giving talks and doing what I called salons, where I was really modeling it on this idea of the salon concept of several hundred years ago, where people would meet in these beautiful parlors. And it was the intellectual elite of the day, like having these discussions and conversations and provocative debates around different topics, everything from politics to. To intimacy and I thought, let's do that in the realm of sexuality. And so I would go out and buy some organic wine and get this local mushroom, actually medicinal mushroom person to make these truffle mushroom aphrodisiac chocolates and then put on these presentations, these educational presentations about sex and intimacy. And then as my online presence grew and my audience grew and I began cultivating that, then I was like, okay, well how can I put these now online? So create that experience of teaching people and how the, this exchange of ideas in an online forum. And that's how my sexual savant salons and online sex and education school were born.

Okay, so you're already really comfortable because you're doing it locally. Because I, I'm just kind of imagining myself, I was like, hey, I'm going to make like, hey, you know, tap into your spiritual orgasm power thing. Like, like, how would I do it with. With being playful yet deep at the same time. And, and just to, to write your first program seems like it would be one of those things, like, with a lot of questions that came up. Did you have questions like, are people going to just be like, you know, oh, this, this is, you know, too risque or, you know, too inappropriate? Is it going to be rejected? Or you were just like, no, my salons work, I'm just, I'm all in.

I knew the salons worked and I was all in. The only question I had though, is, was the virtual format going to be as effective as being in person, like doing one on one or one on two, coaching and workshops in person with people? And I was like, is that still, still going to translate into an online setting? And amazingly, I think it's been even better because there were people who for years were like, they knew about my work, they'd come to some of the salon or like the evenings, but they were afraid to take that next step of going deeper and say, coming to see me. And I think having the screen, the anonymity, not quite in your face concept of being, doing this virtually was. It helped people to feel like they could do that so they could get their partners involved in doing this without having to have the stigma of walking into an office or walking into this public space. And then I think even the collective energy of the momentum like this combining of the energies of all the people involved in doing these things online actually acted as this amplifier and healing quantum growth accelerator because all these people are collectively focused on this. So it's actually turned out better than I would have even imagined. And I get to reach this limitless amount of people that I couldn't do if I was working again or just in person with people.

I had the same experience with the virtual conference, the first one we did. After seven years of in person conferences, we reached a lot more people globally and the energy was super high. And so when you do it right, I think you can have the comforts of home. You have a feeling of safety. And for these real intimate things, whenever you're doing personal development work, feeling safe is the first thing to be able to go to a new place. And so creating an environment in office like that could be hard. So, all right, this is cool. And the real reason that I wanted to have you on, actually, there's a bunch of them. But you've said really openly that sexual energy is a power source and that when you tap into it, magic happens. And I hint at this in some of my work. I talk about it in Game Changers and all. But Napoleon Hill wrote about this. The best known, recent hundred plus year personal development author, a whole chapter in his book on it, but it's the one that no one talks about. And you're like, okay, I've studied this for many, many years. And I want to know the differences for tapping into sexual energy for men and women. And I want to go with how do women do it? But then how do men do it? Or is it the same?

All right, well, there's a few things to address there. I mean, look, in my own personal experiences, before I read anything about sex or really, you know, studied anything I had in my own experiences, these sense of sex being this portal for transformation, right? Like this idea, like there were other states of consciousness that would help to me. I would emerge out of my sexual encounters feeling really inspired and more. More of myself. I used to use the term self realization. That's how I felt. It's like these parts of me that have been superimposed culturally that weren't really me, that I'd adapted over the years fell away and I became more of my true self. And so I'd already had this instinctive sense that sex was much more powerful than we were being led to believe. And then when I read about Taoism and Tantra, those things just echoed the experiences that I'd already been having. And then years later, I was, yeah, definitely tickled to find that lone chap 10 in Napoleon's what is It? Think and Grow Rich book about sex and transmutation. It's written in 1927, right? So he's interviewing all of these Moguls about how they can become their, their patterns of success to try to give a model to other people. And then he has this all important chapter about sex and using your sexual energy as a creative power source. And so all of these things have echoed the, as I said, what was opening up to me through my own personal experiences and then through my own studies, especially in Taoist philosophy, using more techniques like, say, harnessing breathwork. So look, the big barometric question that I ask people is, does sex leave you feeling energized, revitalized, transformed, and like it changed your life? And if the answer is no, then you're doing it wrong. And that's not a moral judgment as it is as much as it is to say that there's a way of having sex that gives you energy or takes away energy, right? That leaves you feeling like you want to go and run a marathon. And that's the big question I give to men, right? Is if you're practicing breathing techniques and recirculating your sexual energy after you have sex, whether you orgasm or not. Because I think there's still ways that men can have orgasms. But if they're recirculating that energy, they'll find a very minimal loss of energy that they want to go to the gym, they literally want to go for a run rather than passing out, which tends to be the default action that happens after a man has had an orgasm. And then so in that whole tantra daoist philosophy, the concept is that men lose a lot of energy through ejaculation. And what I've seen and witnessed in my own relationships and with clients over the years is that if men are taught to breathe and recirculate that energy, then they can, even if they have an orgasm, they will lose a minimum of energy, right? So there would be a question about whether, if you're really deeply practicing this recirculation and breath work, whether you are truly losing energy. I suspect you still are, but much less than if you weren't practicing this conscious breathing. And then for women, there's a concept that women lose a lot of that energy, not so much through orgasms and unconscious sex, but through menstruation, through unconscious menstruation. And so there's techniques to have women recirculate that energy in the same way. So rather than just dumping out that energy the way say men do at orgasm and many women do through their menstruation, and they feel the similar symptoms, they feel tired and low energy and even depressed and like immobilized That's a symptom that we've lost energy. Right? And so I'm all about this barometer. What's giving us energy or taking away energy. And then there's techniques for both men and women to revive themselves and become revitalized through these experiences. And even women, I would say, during sex, can practice the same kinds of breathing techniques and gain more energy. And so people will say to me, or they have this assumption that, you know, my favorite thing about sex is, like, the pleasure and the orgasm. Like, well, that's great, but I'm really into the self realization, and I'm really into the creative power and flow that I get. Like, I'll have sex and run to my computer. You know, I noticed this early on, like, I would just be so inspired with all these ideas that I would run to my computer and start writing them all down. And that's, again, that's a barometer for me of whether we're taking this energy and then tapping into it, harvesting this energy as a power source. And then we have it available to channel into every other aspect of our lives. And that affects everything from our intimate relationship, our health, our body weight, our mental capacity, our creativity, our finances. I found that there's a direct correlation to how tapped in people are to their sexual energy and every other aspect of our lives. And yet most people don't make that connection because they've been taught there is no connection. Right. Your sex life kind of exists in isolation in some remote part of your life, and it's not. Has no influence on anything else. Me too.

I. I remember I was writing in the back of an Uber, back when you can do that, when things were normal. And you. The guy's like, oh, you're. You're Dave. So he's like, you know, tell me all the entrepreneur tricks. And he's like, I'm trying to, you know, got my side hustle. I'm doing all this stuff. Clearly, he was a Gary V. A Gary V. Follower as well, I think. And he's like, what would your one piece of advice be? And I just look at him. I'm like, stop looking at porn. And he goes, what? Like, how did you know? I'm like, I don't know. That was just like, what seemed to be the right thing to say. And he's like, yeah, I noticed I'm spending a lot of energy on that. And he's like, I know it's taken away from my business, and I've had other people who saw my talks about male ejaculation and how there's a hangover at least if you're doing it wrong. And they're like, okay, so I decided I was going to ejaculate for a while and I started two companies and I got a $30,000 raise. And like all these stories would come out, which it's interesting because you go back to Napoleon Hill, he interviewed dudes and he was talking about it doesn't seem like that's the right rule for women, but for guys it's like, okay, maybe you have an energetic orgasm, but you don't actually ejaculate and things like that. So. So I'm wondering, okay, the daoists say a woman walks away undiminished, but they don't say a guy does. So let's focus on women. What gives a woman the most energy after sex? Like, what do you do to make that happen?

I'd say breathing is a huge piece of that. So you know, we lose, we recirculate energy through the breath. Breath is a carrier of prana, of qi, of energy. And so that most people tend to breathe really shallow, hold the breath, tighten up when they're sexually intimate, right? And so they're curtailing the flow of that energy and then they usually just eject it out of themselves. And so that deep, steady four count inhale, four count exhale really helps to move and recirculate the sexual energy in the body. And then it naturally goes to where it needs to go for healing and rejuvenation in our system. For women, I would say the breathing then is an important piece of that. And then I would also say seeking out vaginal orgasms versus clitoral orgasms. So the equivalent to a typical penile orgasm of build up, get to a peak, have these contractions and then decline and decline in energy is a typical clitoral orgasm as well. There's a build, there's a peak, there's contractions, and then there's a decline of energy, right? Where often women will use that type of orgasm in the same manner as stress relief or to help them go to sleep, right? Which to me is the lowest form of using that orgasm. Again, not from a moral judgment place, but what's giving us energy and what's removing energy. So for women, seeking out these deeper vaginal orgasms opens them up to much more cataclysmic, deep, powerful, transformative, cosmic places within themselves. And so these orgasms, I say, are the life changing orgasms for women. This is what really helps them to Self realize, tap into their true potential. These orgasms, like at the cervix, in Taoist sexual reflexology, they mapped out reflexology points in the vagina and the vulva and in the penis. And the cervix is considered to be the heart point for women. And there's an association with the vagus nerve going all the way up to the crown chakra. And so in achieving these orgasms, they are actually opening up in this very deep, cosmic, spiritual, rebirth level. Right? La petite. More the little death. The little death and rebirth. And this again really reflected my own experiences of what these orgasms were about. So my very first orgasm personally was a cervical orgasm. And then later on, a few years later, I had a clitoral orgasm. Again, these were all through my own exploration, not because I knew what I was looking for. It was just searching and exploring and finding them. And then in having clitoral orgasms, I was kind of like, well, that's fun, but like, whatever. That's nothing like what the vagina is all about, right? Like, let them eat is what I say. Right? But the good stuff is all in the vagina. The clitoris is literally the tip of the iceberg. And 90% of the power of female sexuality is in the vagina. So I would say that the direction for women that I recommend is heading into the vagina and doing that exploration there because there's so much rich territory to be explored. And then I often say that women can save thousands of dollars and hours in therapy by having vaginal orgasms. Like once they have them, they don't go back. And then another thing to know is that every woman can. This is the anomi guarantee. And everything that we've talked about, men being able to have sex for eight hours without having an orgasm or learn how to separate orgasm from ejaculation, or women having G spot orgasms, cervical orgasms, ejaculating across the room. I guarantee that every single person can do these things. They just need to know that they can and then learn the steps to getting there and remove any kind of blockages that are impeding the natural flow of that innate energy that we all have.

All right, guys and women. Kimanami.com Dave is where she teaches you how to do all that stuff. That's a pretty strong pitch, I have to say, where you're just saying it's a guarantee. So I appreciate the integrity in that. And I can't say that I've gone through the whole program, but I do know the things you are saying. Are true because, well, you know, I have experienced many of the things you're speaking of and I'm actually going to go through the whole program because how could I not after, after interviewing you? So I, I've also read a study, I think I even referenced it in a blog post once, that something like 20% of people have deep spiritual experiences during sexual. But their partners may not know it because, you know, you just see them laying there twitching or moaning or doing whatever it is they do, right? And, but you know, in their inner, in their mind, you're, they're meeting God, they're, you know, seeing past lives, they're doing all kinds of stuff. Do you believe that 20% number?

Like, are you slanting it? You think it's low or high?

You just have more experience than I do. So, I mean, what's my sample size, right? I'm not that big of a, you know, a man. Ho. I'm married, I'm monogamous, you know.

Well, look, I would, I would be thrilled to think that that was true, right? That 20% of people were actually having spiritual experiences through their sexual lives. I would love that to be true. And then of course would love to see that number go up higher. Like for me, spirituality and sexuality are very similar. You know, this idea of opening and surrendering and trying to put the little self aside to open up to this divine channel and full flow of energy. There's massive similarities. And then that's, that's really what I, my work is trying to gear people toward is having these life changing, cataclysmic, therapeutic, deep, powerful, even, you know, psychedelic type experiences that really change your life. Like I said, if it's not changing your life, you're doing it wrong. It's because this has the power to really rebirth, right? This is the procreative energy of the universe that we literally have at our fingertips. Every single one of us. We just have been, it's been obscured, it's been distorted. All of the censorship and the misinformation about sex has removed that knowledge from people and that even awareness from people. And the high amount of trauma that most people sustain in some way, right, obscures and dissociate, dissociates them from that energy. So in the ideal world, yes, I think that these twins do meet very beautifully and that in the highest level of those experiences, they are spiritual, they are transformative, they do make people feel like they've been reborn. And truthfully, like my early experiences, feeling like that have been why I do what I do. Today, because I had that. That was the benchmark for me of this is what sex is. It's not about just blowing out or jerking off or, you know, having a brief moment of pleasure. It was like, no. I felt like I was being reborn as who I really am through my sex lives, sex life experiences. And so that's really why I do. What I do is to show people what this is, what's actually possible. What you've experienced and what you've been told is myth and misinformation and I think deliberate censorship, a deliberate obscuring of the power of sex. Here's what you really can do, here's what's really possible.

Who would deliberately do that and why?

Well, I mean, I think one of the biggest places we've seen that happen is in religion is this distortion of sexual energy. Some. Some paths have a positive viewpoint that within a high sacred marriage, sexuality is a very powerful tool and avenue. And then other paths, you know, are more discouraging of that or distorted. But I think that, I guess if there's any kind of. Of naif, nefarious powers that be that are interested in suppressing power and empowerment within a population, then targeting sexuality is a big place to do that. And if we think about historically, when people go in and they conquer other countries or, you know, areas, one of the big things that they do is they. They rape, they pillage, they abuse children. Like they're putting a deliberate taint and smear on the sexual expression of that culture. And I think that is deliberate. Like, yes, it's about whatever, taking over their genetic lineage. But I think there's a deeper purpose in annihilating that expression. Right. That life force, pure creative energy within people.

That's pretty heavy. Do you think that the world's going to recover from hundreds of generations of that kind of behavior? Are you hopeful?

I am hopeful. I mean, really, even in my time in doing this, which is several decades, but more publicly doing it. Well, I guess probably when the Internet became more of a thing, right. And then watching what even the evolution since then, like, okay, like I often say, there's before 50 shades of gray and after 50 shades of gray. And I'm not promoting that book as like a great work of art or literature that people should run out and read. But it was this really important milestone in terms of sexuality and female sexuality being acknowledged as this massive, probably marketplace, you know, which is what really brought it into the forefront is how many million, hundreds of millions of copies that book sold. But the women who are clutching that book, you know, on the subway, getting wet, reading this book, coming home to their partners and being like, can you do these things to me? Like, this is what I really want. And I feel like before that time, there was still a lot more restriction around female sexuality or sexuality in general. And then after that came out and made this massive explosion all over the world, there was a real shift in my view of what was acceptable and open and acknowledging, again, probably financially motivated, which was the certain gatekeepers would open the gate to be like, well, there's a market here, but overall, perhaps even women just reclaiming and recognizing. Recognizing that in themselves, like, reading these things and being like, yeah, because for women, you know, the big block, I would say the big universal block is Madonna whore. You're either a virgin or you're a slut. And there isn't really this happy medium territory to exist in of a healthy, sexually voracious woman. Right. And so I think that book or gave women permission, right? I mean, it had to be like that dynamic of dominant submissive, though, is sort of like, I'm telling you, you have to do this. Okay, well, if you tell me I have to do it, then maybe I won't feel so bad or so jud about doing it, but whatever, right? It gave them an opening to be able to claim some of those desires.

I always thought Secretary was a much better movie than 50 Shades of Gray.

Yes, I agree. I thought it was very beautifully done and captured that ethos much. To be honest, I never read any of the 50 Shades books or movies. I picked up a book and tried to read it, and I just couldn't. But I know the general tenor of the book, and I'm glad that it's out there to communicate the things it does. But, yeah, as an art form and as we. Deeper concepts, I thought Secretary was really good too.

As an author. I'm still thinking about writing fifty Shades of Not Giving an F about Making the Bed, but, you know, I'm kidding. That would just be, like, the best title on earth, combining all of the New York Times bestsellers into one.

Right? Yeah.

So you think that opened the door? What did the Pandemic do in terms of what people are doing with sex and sexuality? Did that close the door? Did it open it further? Like, what happened?

Well, look, in my business, it's, like, wide open. Like, people have been busier than ever signing up for my classes, perhaps because they're on lockdown, and it's something they can do together within their. The confines of their Own home. So from me, my business perspective, it's been really positive and I've seen more people than ever interested in things, these things. Like I was surprised, I didn't know what this year, this, what the past year was going to look like. But people were very interested and took many leaps into these areas.

I saw a statistic sometime in the middle of last year in the us the things that increased in purchasing the most were guns and toilet paper. So I'm an American living in Canada for 10 years in Canada, the two things that went up were sex toys and Netflix subscriptions.

So wow, sex toys, really?

Well, they're like, we're stuck at home, what else are we going to do? And plus it's dark all the time up here half the year.

So look, I agree, but I'm amazed that that many people, like I said, that reflects my own experience in my business. But I didn't know there was an actual statistic out there to back it up.

Yeah, I really laughed because it was just such a marked difference. You know, we're both on the same continent and very similar cultures, but there was that one little difference. Maybe it's because it's harder to buy guns. Who knows?

I would think, yeah, if guns were available, they probably, if there was a gun culture in Canada, that might have been a different number.

Yeah, it definitely could have been. But still, it just made me laugh. And speaking of sex toys, good, bad, it seems like a lot of them are focused on the clit, not the cervix. So what's your take on toys?

Well, look, I. Yes, like, I think that toys, especially for single women, women wanting to, to explore their bodies, are fantastic. Right. And I think they can add another element of joy into couples. But yeah, I mean, I deliberately created my own line of hand blown, Venetian, Murano style glass couture dildos to focus on the G spot and the cervix because that's those, like I said, those are the orgasms that I give the most attention to and the most education around achieving for women. And so that I don't sell any vibrators or clitoral toys because I'm always like, put down the clitoris, go into the vagina, step away from the clitoris. I think that for women who've never had clitoral orgasms and are struggling, then a clitoral vibrator can be a good tool to just break into that territory. But then I would let it go because a vibrator is much stronger than a finger or a tongue. And we want to be able to cultivate organic experiences and not be reliant on an external device. So. And then the same thing with the dildos is that, like, I've shaped them and designed them to specifically hit these areas. And so it's going to help people achieve that and get there. And if women are single, great, that's a companion for them. But then optimally, they do that with their partners, right? With their hands and their tongues and their other body parts are all exploring together. And the toys can be like an adjunct, you know, fun once in a while. But really their bodies are the primary source.

What's so special about glass as a material for toys?

Well, for me, like, I take an active role in the design and production of everything that I put out there. So for me, glass had the most malleability. Right. So that I actually went into a glassblowing factory and spent weeks there with the glassblowers to perfect these designs and work with them both from a design perspective and then from the color perspective. I wanted to. You know, my brand is all about really bright, vibrant, vivid colors. And so all of my. Most of the dildos are really bright and vivid. And there's another style that's different, but there was the most freedom. And then this is another whole area. But I work also with crystal elixirs, and I make crystal elixirs. And apparently you can take some of a crystal elixir and place it onto an object like say a dildo, and the dildo will take on the characteristic of that crystal for about seven days. And I thought, well, that's the best of all worlds. You can make your own crystal dildos with the glass.

That's pretty cool. It's definitely not anything that I've tried. The glass also, it's dishwasher safe and nothing will break it down, which is nice, right.

You can do hot and cold play with glass, and it's very substantial. Like, these things weigh half a kilo, right. So they're definitely have a lot of weight and oomph to them.

What is the most common place that people get. Get stuck on just going deeper. With sex, there's one thing that's holding them back that's the most common. You see, when you're working with people, what would you say it is?

I think it would be a com. Something along the lines of not knowing what they don't know. Right. Like, they have bought into this narrative that sex is a small part of a relationship or other myths. Like it's normal to lose your Sex drive and desire after two years. And so they've just, they don't really understand the true power of what sex is and has to offer them in their relationship, that their sex life is truly their power source. And they become what I call superpower couples, right? When a couple is on this journey together, they combine forces and they amplify, you know, a hundredfold and become these massive power generators. And it's mostly that people just don't realize that, right? They've had their own conditioning and programming about sex that minimizes the importance of it. And then at the same time, they have trauma layered on top of that and they do not realize the influence that those things are having on them. And so I think the biggest piece is just like showing people, like I said, what's really possible with their sex lives and then showing them how to get there.

I did a recent interview of, with a guy who put together the largest survey of fantasies ever done to see, you know, what people actually are looking for. And he did it by gender, he did it by where you live, he did it by your political affiliations, all kinds of stuff, just to look at, you know, who likes what. And found there's a huge, huge variety of things that people were anonymously, when they did the survey, were willing to say, oh yeah, I'm interested in this, I'm interested in that. Are there fantasies that like, actually you probably shouldn't go there or are you like, hey, if you, if some part of you wants it, go for it.

I think fantasies can be very therapeutic and I think they're also very symbolic, right? Like, I think that, you know, typically the most common fantasies, and you might be able to prove me differently based on this research, but for women is like the idea of being forcefully taken, right? Being overwhelmed, like, you know, so called rape fantasies, right? And, or being with several men. And then for men, it's usually around having several women. And I would say, okay, so there might be like some element of, say, bisexuality that would be served by actually living out those fantasies. But typically, like, let's say for the woman's one, the idea of being overwhelmed by masculine energy, like if we were to dig deeper in that relationship, like presuming she has one, that we'd probably find that, let's say the man isn't really rising up into his masculine power. He's not really seizing her or dominating her or, or claiming her in a strong, forthright, masculine way. And so she's craving this energy of being overwhelmed with masculine energy, which could then even translate into this idea of having several men, right? She's just craving really powerful, authentic masculine energy. And then the same thing for a man, right, Is like the more women is symbolic of actually having much more of this feminine energy. And in our modern times, like, we're seeing this whole move towards gender neutrality rather than appreciating and honoring and revering the different characteristics in masculine, archetypal masculine and feminine energy, which I'm all about, and appreciating that, like, that's what creates the most powerful chemistry. Sexual chemistry. Right. Is a much more amplified masculine and amplified feminine, rather than two people who are very neutralized, generally don't have any sexual desire or attraction for each other.

It. It makes sense that the polarity thing is really big. John Gray, who's a dear friend, has been on the show several times, and he's talked a lot more about that in the last couple years than he has throughout most of his career, even though the Mars and Venus books do talk about it. But he would share things with me as a friend. I'm like, you need to tell the world about this. He's like, no, no, not yet. But just in the last couple years. The last few years. Whoa. Right. Like, finally you're going to go for the good stuff. And so, yeah, allowing yourself to be very masculine or very feminine can work better. But it seems like a lot of people, you know, have. Have maybe don't have a roadmap for that. I mean, I watch the movies and, you know, the. The heroine is now, like, doing, you know, flip karate and, you know, leading the commandos and all that stuff, which is not typically a feminine thing to do. Not that women can't do that. It's just not a very feminine role. Right. Whether or not she's wearing high heels while she does it or not, that. That doesn't really make it feminine.

Throw those.