Plug in to Your Own Power Source – David Meltzer – #631

Foreign.

A state of high performance.

You're listening to Bulletproof Radio with Dave Asprey. Today's cool fact of the day is, is pretty much confirmation that the Internet changed your brain. A team of researchers from across the globe just found the Internet is producing both short term and sustained alterations, different areas of cognition which affect your ability to pay attention, your memory process, your social interactions. In other words, you're already a cyborg, you just didn't notice it. And this is a first of its kind review. It was published in World Psychiatry Journal and we're talking Harvard University, King's College, Oxford University of Manchester, a few other big things like that. They all collaborated to say, what is going on with our brains? And then they looked at other studies that come from the areas of psychiatry, psychology, even neuroimaging, and said high levels of Internet use, including limitless streams of prompts and notifications, means your attention is constantly divided, which decreases your capacity for maintaining concentration on a single task. And that that actually changes the way that you store information and even the way you value facts and knowledge and in your brain. And they're basically saying, we don't really know what this is, but we have deep concerns about the potential impacts of increasing Internet use on the brain and how it's altering the structure, the functioning of your brain as well as the social fabric. So what did you do? Stop using the Internet? No, turn off the damned alerts on your phone. Even the ones that say there's a new episode of Bulletproof Radio. It doesn't matter. You should have no alerts in your life. You know how many alerts I get on my phone? I get text messages from some people come up and that's it. I don't get emails. In fact, if your phone right now you need to pull over. If you're driving, your phone gives you email alerts. You need to pull over and turn that off. It'll actually change your brain. It's that big of a deal in social media. You know, who cares who is following you right now? I don't get any of that stuff. Someone hit you up on Instagram, it doesn't matter. Go to Instagram when you want to and look at them. So this is just a really big, across the globe top university study saying, no, that stuff is messing you up. And yeah, maybe there's other things that are good that are coming from having Internet into your brain. Oh, there's this little fact that you have access to more information and knowledge than a king or president did 50 years ago. It's insane. You can do whatever you want with that.

It's.

It's awesome. You don't need to go to Harvard University to learn whatever you want to learn because it's all there for free right now and you just have to take the time to do it. It's probably on YouTube. So anyway, the Internet's kind of good for your brain. It's also bad for your brain if you let it run things, but if you use it strategically, it kind of kicks ass. At least that's what I think. I don't know how much of that was a fact versus a rant, but you guys go with that, right? Today's guest is David Meltzer, who is a fascinating and interesting author. We're talking about a guy who was CEO of Samsung's first smartphone division. A guy who's had a profoundly strong career in business and has written books on actually how to be happy and books on how people succeed at different levels and what the definition of success is. And he just came out with a new book that I thought was really worth talking about today. And the book is called Game Time Decision Making High Scoring Business Strategies from the Biggest Names in Sports. Now I'm going to confess something to you before I even really fully introduce David. I really don't care that much about sports. I mean, I have some good friends in sports. Nick Foles has been on the show and, and the Bryan brothers and these amazing human beings. I mostly didn't know who they were because I like to play sports, but in terms of watching them, I actually read PubMed and things like that when I have spare time or I play with my kids. So I'm pretty damn good at ping pong and I might watch that on tv, but I don't have time to be a fan, right? So I heard about this book. I'm like, I don't really want to interview Dave because he's going to want to talk about all these sports people. And I don't know, half of them are. Even though I think it's awesome what they're doing, I just don't know who they are. But when I looked at what he's achieved in his life, Dave has done some amazing stuff. And what this book is really about is what's going on in your mind, not just on the field, but everywhere. And when people at the top of their game. You know, I did write the book called Game Changers. When you're doing things on the field, it really matters. So I think you're going to get A lot out of this interview because, well, it's very rare to find a very senior executive who's also paying attention and working in the sports and entertainment agency world, going from tech to sports and just saying, what do people who kick the most ass actually do? So, Dave, welcome to the show.

Thanks, Dave. I'm really excited to be here. And yeah, it's interesting because I'm not actually even a sports fan anymore myself. I just am in the business of sports. So I think that's a big change. I've always looked at sports and I was successful in this business because I didn't have the emotional big eyed response. What I learned to do is monetize those people that actually have an irrationality. I used to call it the rationality of middle aged men and I wanted to monetize that irrationality. But I view sports because of the mass appeal in order to teach people the lessons. I believe that we're here to learn, to expand and accelerate what we want out of our existence.

Now you've had a strange path to get here because you not only had all these career successes, you sort of went bankrupt.

Yeah, sort of, Yeah, I did go bankrupt.

I actually did, yeah. And that was your first book. It's like, hey, here's how I had to come back, not just from having money, but from having money and a spiritual practice to make me successful. And that's kind of cool how you worked with Lee Steinberg and we're talking Jerry Maguire level stuff. What I want to know is in 2014, you wrote your book about this. Okay, I hit rock bottom financially and I came back and you're a happier guy and we've had time to chat. You actually are a happy guy, which is cool. It's always nice to see people are authentic. Why the shift to looking at what a professional athlete does? Because some of those guys seem pretty miserable. Some of the ones I've met have been profoundly awesome human beings. But you also, you see this stuff on National Enquirer or espn. I think there's a difference between those two. And it seems like there's a lot of problems across all the sports in this. So why is this a population of people that we should pay attention to about happiness?

You know, because I think the successful athletes have a spirit of excellence that exists in a conscious level, even a subconscious level. Meaning that I believe great athletes, successful athletes, professional athletes, think, say and do things consistently and persistently and they create a belief or the neural pathways, as you know, Dave, in your mind, that really create Discipline and habits. Where I found it interesting is that the reason I went bankrupt is also the reason that these highly functioning, successful athletes go bankrupt. Up. 75% of the athletes that we represented, two and a half years out of playing were bankrupt, even though they had every opportunity at every chance in access to financial literacy.

Seriously, 75%? That sucks.

Yeah. And so I started really exploring the unconscious competency. Like, why is it that people have a thermostat, that if we grow up with nothing, that we have to actually look at our personality traits, characteristics, obsessions, and addictions that create an energy, this genetic layer that, you know, some people think is four generations. I personally believe it's from billions of lifetimes that I carry this energy inside of me, this unconscious competency.

Lifetimes of your own lifetimes. So you're like, super.

My soul? Yeah. Like a super. I'm a Judah Buddha. Yeah. Buddhist one, actually.

Never heard that. That's funny.

But I literally was looking at, why do we set these thermostats? And I was able to recover from. Because I looked at a quantum shift in my life. I was so addicted to money and the power of money. I believe money bought happiness. And everything that I did in life indicated that money bought happiness. I was a millionaire nine months out of law school, bought my mom a house and a car, which was the only reason I wanted to be rich. And I was really, really happy. But eventually there was only so many things I could buy. And what I learned was the power of shopping. And not just on a pragmatic level of, you know, going from a green card to a platinum card to a black card where I could go on Amazon. And there's different powers of shopping. I learned that if I shop for the right things, that it would made me happy. And that a lot of athletes and celebrities, they shop for the wrong things and they end up miserable, on drugs, and even suicidal, but even. And since people look up to these people. So we have to now create a. Some sort of learning curve that just because you're great on the field doesn't mean you're great at all things off the field.

So what are the brands I shouldn't shop for?

Well, for me, it was the Ferraris and the Porsches. And they're my lessons. Right. I believe we're here to learn lessons. And the lessons keep on coming until we learn them. Manifesting itself in pain is a good indicator whether we've learned those lessons or not. I believe truly, though, that faith is like a green card, a platinum card, and a Black card and faith to me was that aggregate of thinking, saying, doing, believing, and the genetic side of my personality traits, characteristics, obsessions and addictions that created a frequency that no matter what I did, really attracted with action. Right? Attracted. If I got out of my own way, cleared the interference, what I wanted. I think it's so funny that so many times in our lives, you know, we can plant a seed for tomatoes. We're not surprised when tomatoes come. But I see so many people planting seeds for what they don't want and they're super surprised when bankruptcy comes. I had planted seeds my entire life for bankruptcy. Even though my actions and everything resulted in over $100 million. Right. I didn't lose like a penny. I mean, it was a lot of money that I lost.

Okay, how do you actually lose $100 million?

Good. And it's in the book, so people ask. So number one, go ahead and surround yourself with the wrong people and the wrong ideas. That'll be a catalytic event to lose everything. But when you make bad assumptions, and here's the assumption I made, I didn't need any help. I was midas. I was a millionaire nine months out of law school, multi millionaire by the time I was 30. I never, literally every job I took, everything I did was a financial success. When I owned golf courses, ski mountain, 33 properties, a ton of stock. I got into a lawsuit and my ego, my need to be right, my need to be offended, all these different needs of my ego, I, I went through all my liquidity trying to prove I was right in a huge lawsuit, knowing without a doubt in my mind that I could borrow against 40, 50 million dollars of equity that I had with my private bank. Meanwhile, when I needed cash, I went to my bank, I made that bad assumption and I said, hey, can I get 5 million? And they said no. I almost fell over. I said, excuse me, I have equity, give me a line. No, no, the bank's not doing well and you know, we're not borrowing on, you know, non stated income on straight equity on properties we're going to have to go through and do due diligence and take all this time. Well, meanwhile I'm start looking there. They needed to take more time. I went to go look for more money. Pretty soon nobody was giving money. I missed one payment and then the whole thing started. You know, you miss one payment, you're not able to borrow any money. I can't sell stuff fast enough. And that's a lot of bills coming through. It's its own economy. When you have that much in property. And it was a mess, and I literally. It just started to fall. I know, though, that was the greatest lesson that I ever learned. And it took me nine, nine years to process the lesson energetically because I used to tell people, and I didn't mean it, you know, oh, this. This is a really good thing. I'll be fine, you know, trying to convince myself, but it took a good nine years before, truly, internally, I know that that lesson was so valuable. And, you know, I'll never, never be broke again because I understand and don't carry that energy. I am worthy of everything I have, and I can manifest anything I want.

Do you ever want to, I don't know, punch one of the attorneys who files baseless lawsuits for no reason other than just harassment?

Yeah. I think it's funny that you said no. You know what's so funny is that I think, you know, it's one of the passions. If I wanted to change our structure, I think our, you know, our legal system is completely upside down. I would love to be able hold plaintiffs responsible for the accusations that they make, meaning they're financially liable that you just can't bring up. And even worse than the lawsuits is making claims on the Internet that go along with a claim. Right. Because we immediately believe. I could sue you today, Dave, for something completely ridiculous, post it up with my millions of followers, and it would affect your life. And then you'd have no recourse against me because I could just have a tiny thing that was true. For example, you and I were in a hotel room and did my podcast. I could make up some story, and just the fact that you were in my hotel room at the podcast is enough evidence to go ahead and file the lawsuit. And in the end, it would cost us both money. But you probably would have to settle with me because it would be cheaper than the half a million dollars to have, you know, all that news out there in a lawsuit. And that's our system, and it's unfair. And by the way, Dave, nothing happened in the hotel room. I'm going on record. I can never sue you. You were amazing person. Just legally, everyone know that. There's no lawsuit coming. You were amazing person. Yes, everybody. There's seven people in the room, tons of witnesses. He was a genius.

No, it's funny. I don't go in hotel room meetings with people. I always have the door, like the lock on the door thing open so that the door doesn't close, because I've never actually not done that because it Just removes any possibilities. Right, right. Plus, having a stable marriage is usually helpful, I agree. But I mean, apart from that, I just know that when people go through bankruptcy, you end up seeing just like a swarm of attorneys and fees and all that sort of stuff.

Mine was worse. I had a malpractice suit that I won. My lawyer committed malpractice and it was really ugly and won it. They settled in two seconds and everything just went into the bankruptcy. And I had a fresh tabula rasa, a new start to my life.

So let's talk about forgiveness. I mean, this is something I've spent a lot of my time on. 40 years of Zen is very focused on that. You said it took you nine years to go through and process all this stuff. Did you have a specific switch or trigger? Or maybe it's forgiveness, maybe it's something else that let you turn off all the. I mean, a lot of crap comes out in your mind when you're going through. You have this one picture of the future and all of a sudden I know because I lost $6 million I made when I was 26. And it was, it messed with my head. It was really traumatic. So what did you do?

I first had to forgive myself, right. I started realizing that I truly had to forgive myself for all the mistakes that I had made. I wanted to turn every mistake into a miracle. I wanted to prove to people that set backs or setups for something better. I had all these things in my mind. Now the interesting thing was there was one person, a neighbor who I had, you know, bought a condo conversion from, who I blamed, right? That's the person that I was in a lawsuit with and you know, made up all these lies about me. Like it was horrible. Well, when I say it took nine years, it was because I verbally could forgive him. You know, I was out there saying, you know what I know, I forgive him, I forgive him. And then I go home and dream about pulling out his fingernails and putting Tabasco on it. You know, like I literally had very issues. So the technique that I used and it was literally went on for nine years. And I've used this to shift my true energy because I know mentally I can let things go. You know, I can think, say and do the right things. But if I can't shift my true energy, then I'm going to have hateful feelings and it's going to attract hateful and attacking thoughts. So what I do, and this is very woo woo. I don't know if it's Zen enough for you But I close my eyes and I looked at the guy that I hated and I started thinking about all the good things about him. I thought he was a really good dad. He was a community guy, he had a lot of good qualities. And I find the light in him with my eyes closed. And every night I used to cover him as I was hating him. And I'd find the light, I'd cover him and then I'd picture the true loves of my life, my family. And I combine the light of the two. And then I take the light and hold it over me in my mind's eye until I physically felt a shift of energy. And slowly but surely, just like working out Dave, it actually shifted my energy and dissipated the actual feeling, not what I thought, said and do or even believed. There was actually a feeling of tenseness, of anxiety, of hatred, of attack every time I thought of the guy. And it finally dissipated to the point where I went up to him at tailgate one time and I walked up to him and thanked him, right? I thanked him at a Pure Energy. And he was freaked out because obviously he hadn't processed and his feelings for me.

You thought you were going to punch him?

He sure did. He flinched and I just grabbed his hand with both of mine and I just said, I just need to thank you because you helped me learn the greatest lesson of my life that has truly shifted my perspective. And I wanted to thank you so much. And I walked away. And it wasn't. I was just thinking, saying and doing, believing it. I actually felt grateful. And that's what I try to do with things. So I don't manifest or attract what I don't want.

Now, in your book you talk about how there's a conscious mind, which is. You just talked about thinking. And that's what you think, say and do, the subconscious mind, which is the things you believe. But then you talk about this unconscious competency. Where does this feeling thing that you're talking about. And I do viscerally know what you're talking about, but in your teaching, in your new book about offensive and defensive mindset. I don't see feeling in there. I see consciousness and unconsciousness. But unconsciousness is different than feeling. Or is it not so?

Feelings are emotions and emotion is energy in motion. The energy that we emit, I believe, comes from our personality traits, characteristics, obsessions, addictions, our DNA. The feelings actually come from an energy that is emitted through that continuum or aggregate. I call it faith of the aggregate of conscious, subconscious and unconscious being. All of those together create an emotion. And if we can shift our emotions, which is the highest vibration, you know, literally of my belief, a frequency that then can either one higher frequency you have, the more aware you can be of that which vibrates lower than it. Or more importantly, even at its similar vibration. Faith wise, we can put faith in something and get what we want. And it's a three step process for me in the conscious level, it's the law of Goya, like our friend John Assaroff talks about, you know, get off your ass. And I think there's three things we do to get off our ass. One, work hard. Two, work smart. Three, work long. And working long is interesting because most people don't work long. They have a very short term perspective. You were talking earlier about the Internet and how it affects our brain. I work in a time zone of infinity, so I work really long in my perspective. I focus on the acceleration and growth, not on the outcome, right. And so I can achieve things through that long thinking. So that's the law of Goya, Law of attraction we talked about, which is a frequency that attracts what it was. The key to this emotional side is what I call the Law of Surrender. Everyone has interference, it has a corrosion. I believe we're like lamps. We're always plugged into the power, the source of all this extraordinary power. In fact, we have enough power in our pinky to light up your house for a year. And we don't use it, but we're plugged in. So what? My goal of the Law of Surrender is to know two mindsets. The first is I only have one action that I can take in a day. The minute I wake up, I have one action. Everything after that is a reaction. So my mindset shifted to my first action is going to be to find peace or to clear the connection or interference from the most powerful source of energy, inspiration. And then two, everything that occurs that throws me off of that. These ego based emotions, ego consciousness that causes interference. Instead of trying to react to that, my reaction is going to go back to the source, go back to center, go back to peace, which I know is very Zen. And then I'll be in a better place to be productive and accessible to all.

If you were to talk to your 25 year old self, how the heck would you have known where to go to find peace in the first place? You say I'm going to go back to peace. But most people, honestly, I didn't understand that place at all until much later in life. Until I started doing a bunch of heavy duty Neurofeedback in ayahuasca and stuff like that.

Right on.

So what's the path to peace for people who maybe haven't got there yet?

So I created a four step pragmatic approach that actually is a transcoding of what you and I have learned over decades. And so what I do is try to make things simple. So I talk about four values. I talk about, hey, just try and be grateful. Change your perspective with gratitude. And literally talk about the simplest form. You want to change your life. If I'm Talking to my 25 year old self, say thank you before you go to bed and say thank you when you wake up. Try to convince yourself that you get to do everything. You don't have to do anything. You know, really learn to love what you're doing. Be grateful. 2. Forgiveness, right? Hey, forgive yourself. Don't worry about the other person, just forgive yourself. 3 and most importantly at 25 is accountability. Right? I would teach my 25 year self, hey, don't. It's not below the line. Blame, shame and justification. You don't have to do that. Ask yourself two questions. What did I do to cause this in my life? And what am I supposed to learn from it? And then finally, try to teach them about inspiration. To live first, to connect to that which inspires you, then inspire others. Don't search for it. Try to learn where that is. Then below that, I would teach my 25 year old self to ask for help. That's the biggest lesson I needed was radical humility. Hey, there's a bunch of old dudes like Dave and I that are so flattered and so willing to take our time. Dave would even wake up early to help somebody, but literally wake up early, whatever it is, ask for help. And here's how I'd phrase it. Do you know anybody that could help me? Mr. Asprey, do you know anyone that could help me? Mr. Meltzer, do you know anyone that could help me? I need this. 3. After you learn to ask, understand time by just being a student of your calendar. Study your calendar. Look at time. Look at sleep. Study sleep. It's eight, you know, eight hours a day. It's probably the most time, the activity that we get paid for or don't get paid for. There's no work. But the most amount of time we spend in our lives consistently is sleep. But nobody studies it and has the most impact on the continuum of the conscious subconscious and unconscious mind. But nobody gets sleep trainers, nobody studies it. I do. I would drop every mentor I have Last person I would drop would be my sleep mentor. Because it's a third of my life and I want to be good at it.

I had that one wrong for a long time. Sleep's a necessary evil. And certainly I started bulletproof when I was sleeping only about four hours a night for actually quite a while. It turns out you can do that. And as long as you're pretty good during your four hours of sleep, it's possible. But I get my six and a half hours the way the studies actually show. But every day I have my OURA ring on. And now for 12 years, I've had a piece of tech monitoring my sleep quality. So I have 12 years of sleep data and I've gotten to be a badass at sleep to the point that I get the REM and deep sleep that the average 20 year old gets in eight hours. I get in six nap hours and I'm in my mid-40s and it's supposed to go the other way.

And I'm with you. I'm 51.

Write about my new book. So I'm with you.

I'm 51 and I do this now.

How do you monitor your sleep? How do you know you're good at sleep? Do you have a headband or something?

Yeah, I have a sleep monitor as well. I actually go in and do a sleep study every two years just to make sure. Sleep apnea. So they have a San Diego sleep clinic. My sleep coach is Dr. Meeda. And so because I have two schedules, my daily routine that's unaffected, a normal routine and then an adaptable routine. So if I go to Hong Kong, I call my sleep coach and we discuss what time I'm flying, if. If it's necessary to get the bed in the plane or how I should. What position I should be in, when I should open up.

That's awesome.

Open up the shades or not. What to eat, what time to eat on the plane, how I'm going to do these things so that I can keep improving my sleep, not depreciate my sleep. What usually happens to people as they get older and older.

That is beautiful.

I love it.

I didn't think we were going to go there in this interview. I'm sending you, by the way, some. Some truedark glasses. I don't get jet lag anymore because of those. That's a big deal.

Awesome. Thank you.

See if your sleep coach agrees with them and likes them. All right. You talked about something else in your process of how you were able to let go of all the Anger that comes along with something like bankruptcy. And you talked about first gratitude, saying I'm going to find something I can be grateful for about this, this person who frankly sounds like was kind of an asshole, right? But first he found some little things. So yeah, he's a good parent. He's completely baseless. Lawsuit and a bad human being, but a good parent. So, okay, a little spark of goodness. And you use gratitude as the gateway to actually do what I would call forgiveness. And that's the process, by the way, that I use at 40 years of Zen. So it's a process I'm really familiar with. What's standing out to me though is, I mean, you've been a big time CEO and all this stuff that is not a common spiritual teaching. You don't see it anywhere. So where did you learn that you had to be grateful first in order to get to whatever that glowy state is that let you overlay good energy on top of this bad thing until it was gone? Like, where did you find that?

It was born in me. I was born a grateful person, but also socialized by my mom and my grandparents that were consistent. My mom made us pray every night because we had so little. You can imagine five boys, one girl in a two bedroom apartment in Akron, Ohio. Most people would not have the perspective that there was more than enough in my life. I actually thought when I was 5 years old and my father left that there was more than enough. And it was because my mom had this gratitude practice that she would make us if we didn't come down to breakfast, grateful, she'd send us back up to our room and restart. Right, wow. So there's no negative. So this was practice. And then I lost that. And my wife saved my life because she literally before, two years before I lost everything, noticed that I was living my life the wrong way and told me who. I've adored her since the fourth grade. I asked her to go study at sixth grade camp. I pursued her through high school. She hated me. High school, college, law school, and finally I bump into her in Mexico and for some reason there was finally a connection and forgiveness by her for the egg I threw at her when I was 12. But this woman who I would die for, and it's the best choice or decision I've ever made, told me that she was not going to be with me. That either I start practicing and take stock in who I was and what I wanted to become, or I better start practicing being lonely. And I had three beautiful daughters at the time as well and now I have a son, too. But I'm like you. I have a great relationship. And I was cold turkey shock therapy put back into gratitude. And that's where I built this outline that wrote my first book. I wanted to figure out how is it I became a millionaire nine months out of law school. How was it? I came from nothing. All I had was law loans when I graduated. I had no great skills. How was it different for me? And I put an outline together of how to take the what, the possibility, because I always knew what I wanted or thought I did and how I became inspired. The why and then how I actually manifested or created the perspective of the reality that I was going to get it. How I put clothes on my idea and allowed it to come to fruition. And it came from, you know, books like Think and Grow Rich. Very pragmatic. I started studying the course in miracles I had run into. You know, coincidence started happening. I was consulting for a guy in the Secret, Lee Brower, who introduced me to all the TLC people. And all these things are happening for two years. The funniest thing is when I lost everything. I was already CEO of Lee Steinberg. I was making good money. I was very spiritual person. I was prepared to handle what was happening. And I was really glad it didn't happen two years earlier, because I don't know if I would have recovered. But it was almost as if I was prepared when it happened by all these things. And I met this woman that taught me to meditate. And that was a really big part of my life. I do Theta meditation and quantum healing. And by accident, I sat next to this crazy doctor, medical doctor, who looked at me and said, you're so full of light, but you're blocking it. And that's how my meditation experience started, because she started explaining to me what she meant, and I thought she was crazy.

Earlier, you called yourself a Judah Buddha. All right, I'm going to go back a little bit. You ascribe a lot of this gratitude stuff to your mom. Where did she get it?

Her parents, my grandfather. Her father, I called him. He was my papa. I called him the poptimist. He, you know, I always said I was the toptimist. Above a toptimist would be a poptimist. He was the top of. He was someone that you literally. He could find light in anything. He was just so positive. And I know that that was handed down to her. Some of these practices were handed down to her. He played piano for Benny Goodman. He dropped out of dental school. And Was a world famous big band pianist. His job was to make people happy by entertaining him. He literally looked at everything with a glass half, half full all the time. And the only thing he did which was interesting is he never let any of his children play an instrument because he truly was so driven by education. And the one disappointment in his life, the only thing I ever heard him say that was negative was, I wish I would have finished dental school. I left dental school to join the big band and I never finished. And he drove his kids. You know, he believed the fetus wasn't fully developed till after graduate school. And his kid and my mom. I always tell people my favorite story about my mom because my siblings are hyper successful. Harvard, Penn, Columbia. I never knew how intelligent I was because I got to be in high school and wanted to play football in college. So I didn't go to an Ivy League school like my siblings. But we're talking perfect scores on the SATs, summa cum laude from the best schools. And literally people say, how did your mom do it as a single mom? I said, very simple. She was a black belt in the martial arts. She's actually a third degree black belt in the martial art of Jewish guilt. So between waking us up at 5 and guilting us almost to death, we were hyper successful children.

Okay, So I was kind of going there. So that is a stereotype, but that is. In fact, most of my Jewish friends will talk about that one way or another. Right. So most of the time though, if you grow up with guilt and shame, you've got to do 20 years of therapy and it doesn't necessarily lead to high performance, or if it does, it's high performance and great unhappiness. Was shame and guilt a part of your unhappiness? In the first part of this, it.

Was more shame based, meaning I wasn't worthy of everything I had and felt very, very guilty. Guilt is an ego based consciousness. Most people don't know. It attracts shortages, voids and obstacles in our lives. I literally remember saying myself, you know, I was so guilty to have the money. Of course I was going to buy my mom a house and a car first. You know, I felt guilty paying off my my law loans before. Guilt is an ego based consciousness. Most people don't know. It attracts shortages, voids and obstacles in our lives. I literally remember saying myself, you know, I was so guilty to have the money. Of course I was going to buy my mom a house and a car first. You know, I felt guilty paying off my law loans before I paid for.