Surviving 60 Days Alone in Antarctica: Lessons in Pain, Suffering, and Growth | Akshay Nanavati

I don't believe in suffering. I believe in pain.

If you step into the edge of pain, it amplifies the experience of pleasure. You have to know the depths of the abyss to experience the heights of awe.

Biohackers manipulate dopamine with the discomfort of a really cold plunge. You carried 190 pound sled through freezing cold, dark temperatures for like 100 days.

I literally pushed the body to the brink of death. I ended up getting diverticulitis, which is inflammation in the colon. War is this experience where you taste the extremes of the human condition. You see the absolute worst. The horror of war, people doing awful things to each other. But you see the absolute best. People sacrificing their lives for each other, jumping on grenades for each other. And only on those edges can you experience that. The thing that I go out there seeking is what the suffering gives me access to. So the suffering is the means. It's not the purpose. It's the doorway. And what it gives me access to is transcendence.

Do you think trauma and pain became your fuel for being high performer? You're listening to the Human Upgrade with Dave Asprey. Akshay, it's been four years since you came on the Human Upgrade.

Yes, sir.

You've done a few things since then. What's been going on?

It's been a wild ride since we first connected. Thank you, by the way, again, for having me on the show last time. And this time I just started training for this historic expedition in Antarctica, which I just got back from. Since then, I've lost two fingers to frostbite.

I thought you were flipping me off.

It looks like that. I know. Lost two fingers to frostbite. Been all over the world. In the Arctic, in Antarctica multiple times. 100 days solo. Spent another 10 days sitting alone in darkness. Trained for Antarctica and embarked upon this expedition, which I'm sure we'll get more into. Just got back from Antarctica, but I would say the biggest thing in my life, you have played an essential role in. That's been the most amazing part of the last four years, is my wife. And I'd love to introduce her to you and actually bring her on, if that'd be okay.

That would be okay.

Because you played a huge role in us getting together. And I think it's a beautiful story.

All right. I am excited.

Yeah, come on in. Melissa, this is my wife, Melissa.

Hey, Melissa.

Hello.

And I know we just met downstairs, but you're saving a story for me that I'm like, all ears for.

Yes. So how we Actually met. We owe you a big thank you. I had gone to my second round of 40 years of Zen and it was in the last day. We were doing a lot of work in gamma, so tapping into intuition. And I had a vision that was so real of what my future partnership would look like. I even saw palm trees. It was so visceral that I ended up breaking my lease of 12 years and moving from Portland, Oregon to Scottsdale, Arizona on pure intuition.

Without knowing who it was?

No, without knowing who it was. All my friends and family thought this was a really wild move that came out of nowhere. But I was just so clear with my intuition that I knew he was there. And within two months of moving, we had met. We ended up getting engaged and married in less than six months. From that intuition. But a second way that you played a role in this is before our first date. I'd heard that he was on your podcast. When I listened to the episode, I heard him say that he was more afraid of asking a woman on a date than going to war. And so I asked him on our first date.

That is the craziest set of coincidences.

Could not make it up.

The other thing is, as we're in the studio recording this, it's in the evening. I spent all day today reading the manuscript out loud for my audiobook of heavily meditated. And today I was reading the part and I didn't. None of this was planned. I didn't know this was happening. I was reading the part about how you can train intuition, what intuition is. And it's in heavily meditated. So the fact that you had such a strong intuitive hit that you were willing to just disrupt your life without knowing the name or the face of the person you just knew was there for you. You're not making this up?

No, I promise I'm not making this up. And it was so real that I had so much trust and faith. You know, I even committed to going to a new event every week when I got there. Until I met him. And the very first event I chose was put on by his friend. I could not make this up if I wanted to.

Who also does a lot in biohacking as well. He runs a place in Scottsdale that has coal tubs, infrared sauna, and she went to learn how to do ice baths.

Wow.

He's a good friend of mine who owns that and he introduced us.

That is incredible. Well, what's. I think I know the place. I know the guy you're talking about. What's his name?

Michael Roviello.

Yeah.

With Aquamax.

Absolutely. Yeah. I've met Michael. Wow. This is the coolest thing. And I had no idea when you came to the house that any of this had happened.

Yeah. We're just so grateful to you, and that's why we're honored to be here.

Well, welcome back on the show. I was going to talk about Antarctica and what it's like to lose some.

Fingers, but this is even crazier.

The whole idea that intuition is that real and that it's trainable. Actually, can I ask one more question about that? Just.

Yes, please.

There's a lot of people who don't think intuition is real or that they can't count on it. How did you know that? This intuitive hit you got on your final day at 40 years of Zen, that, as you know, is real enough to just change your life.

So a big part of it for me was that it was calm. Like, it was a calm knowing. You know, there's. There's urgency when you're in fight or flight, but there was no urgency to it. It was just a pure knowing and a trusting and then noticing all the little moments of serendipity and signs along the way that led me to move. And it was from a place of peace, not urgency, that I ended up tuning in.

I love that. And if you're listening to the show, that's one of the big signs that it's intuition. It's that first feeling. And it also doesn't come with baggage. It's that peaceful knowing and. Well, I'm really grateful that you did 40 years twice, and I'm a thousand times more grateful that you got the download you were there for and that you took action on it, because it takes a lot of courage to do that. And you guys are working together now at Pirvana?

Yes. Yeah. Now we're. We're going into business together and, you know, applying a lot of the skills that I had and his. And that combination allows us to do business together, which has been a beautiful evolution in our relationship as well.

Wow.

That.

That's incredible. Well, maybe we'll do another episode when you guys finish your book on how to do business relationship stuff together. But in the meantime, let's talk about Antarctica.

Sounds good.

Thank you for that impromptu story. I'm blown away.

Thank you for having me.

I'm deep in the middle of recording the audiobook for Heavily Meditated, and one of the chapters is called Go Spank Yourself, and it's about intentionally doing something that's painful every day, but Just for one minute to reset your dopamine. And in that chapter I was like, well, what is the nature of masochism? You carried 190 pound sled through freezing cold, dark temperatures for like a hundred days. Are you a masochist?

Great question. And I would say I am. I get called that a lot. But it's not. Because the thing I'm seeking is not the suffering in and of itself. And I'm very clear on the distinction because when I was in high school, for example, I used to cut myself. I still have these scars on my arm. I still have a scar on my arm from burning myself. At that point I was. There was no virtue to that pain. It was pain for the sake of pain. Today, the things I do, whether it be running ultramarathons or what I just did in Antarctica, it was actually a 420 pound sled. The 190 pound was in Greenland, that was a separate expedition when I did. But in Antarctica it was a 420 pound sled for 500 miles, 60 days completely alone out there.

I have a question.

Sure.

Did you choose £420 for SEO?

That's hilarious. Anything you think about that now, that's hilarious. It was 115 days worth of food and fuel and everything to survive in there. And we'll get into it later. But before, before that, to answer your question, the thing that I go out there seeking is what the suffering gives me access to. So the suffering is the means, it's not the purpose, it's the doorway. And what it gives me access to is. Is transcendence. It breaks down the walls, the mass we put on in this world, the illusions of duality, the constructs that shape our experience of reality. And it becomes this pure, raw experience. And there are some incredibly low moments out there. Some of the suffering was some of the hardest moments I've ever endured. But their highs are so high. I had moments where I was tearing, just tears streaming down my face, feeling connected to God, connecting, connected to all that is in these pure moments of bliss. And so what I go out there is for that awakening. It's to battle the biggest dragons I could find so I could unearth the greatest treasures of the human soul and see what I find out there.

What did you find?

There were many things. The many things that I found, there was some cathartic moments for me, navigating my own demons from the war, although I had done a lot to process them. I was a marine. I spent seven months in Iraq, lost, very close for A friend of mine when I was in Iraq, my vehicle drove over an active bomb that for some reason didn't explode.

Wow.

His vehicle drove over an active bomb and exploded. He died. I've lost friends to suicide, to addiction. And so they were what I started calling these Antarctic therapy sessions because I was completely alone, just to give context, I was completely alone for 60 days, skiing into flat, white nothingness. So there's no stimuli to engage you. Your mind has both the luxury and the burden to wander. And so in some of these wanderings, I processed my demons from the war. I had a conversation, at least to me, a conversation with Viktor Frankl. It felt as real to me as anything else. Channeling the spirit of Viktor Frankl and processing how I relate to this blessed life that I've been gifted with. And many times in my life, I should have died and didn't. And recognizing that to feel guilty for this life I've been blessed with is dishonoring the suffering of others. It's dishonoring the friends that I've lost and to bring more joy. Because if that's what I hope to do through my work, through my book, the Work Fearvana, to bring nirvana and bliss to others, I have to embody it. I have to be it. So there was realizations like that There was moments, as I mentioned, of pure oneness. And I think some of the most beautiful moments, the spiritual moments, were channeling into just being here purely in the now, without stepping into the future. And it was very. It was hard to do because there were four times when I was out there I would break 20km, which was a good milestone. I really needed a break, hit 20 kilometers for that day, and that night it would snow. And the first time this happened, I hit 21.9 km. And the next day it snowed. And my kilometers went from 21.9 to 17 to 14 to 13. And the two sleds that I was carrying with all that weight, they would get stuck in the snow. Every few steps, I would have to wrestle it out and get stuck again, wrestle it out. And this would go on for nine to 10 hours. And when that happens, you have to bring yourself back into the now or the mind's going to break. And that's a really profoundly beautiful moment to tap into that nowness at a very high level and experience it fully.

I want to go back to something you said earlier. You said that when you were cutting that it served no purpose. Are you sure of that?

I suppose, looking back, it served a purpose. Now, in that it shaped who I am through the mistakes that I made. I made a lot of mistakes in high school. I did a lot of drugs, a lot of drinking, arrested multiple times. But I think looking back now, there was some awakenings that have been realized since then. At the time though, it certainly was in pain. Seeking pain for a purpose.

There's a neuroscience argument that you actually were seeking that pain for purpose. And I'm not an advocate for cutting, just to be really clear here.

Yeah.

But one of the chapters in heavily meditated is about the neuroscience of pain. And it turns out briefly, intentionally exposing yourself to something painful, not harmful like cutting, but it's something painful.

Yeah.

That it reduces the amount of dopamine required to stimulate your dopamine receptors by up to 250%. In one of the studies I found, and I would argue that the reason that you do cold plunges is exactly the same reason you cut. The same reason addicts have tattoos all over themselves and piercings and all those things. It's just a innate desire to regulate dopamine. Any relevance to that?

I think that makes a lot of sense. I mean that's why the things that I do now, the, I mean I've been, I continue to do it. I run ultramarathons, I do these expeditions on the edge. In fact, one the funny story about my wife and I when we first met the first time we had one on one to get one on one time together. I was on a seven day fast where I was training every single day. So when we went on this hike, we went on a five hour hike, 102 degrees in Arizona, 2,000ft of elevation gain. And I got. So I hadn't eaten food in six days while training every day I got delirious, I got, I ended up throwing up full body heat cramps. So I play on these edges. And I think to your point, that's why it alters how you perceive life.

It makes the rest of your day or rest of your time easier and have more meaning.

Absolutely.

Sometimes it can be six weeks of regulation from. Well, it could be just eating the world's hottest pepper and going through the birthing pains from doing that. And all of a sudden the world's clearer and you're grounded and things work better. And I've certainly had times in my life like that. And it's one of the ways biohackers manipulate dopamine is with the discomfort of a really cold, cold lunch versus oh, it was kind of cool. I got metabolic benefits versus that one Sucked, Yeah.

Right, yeah.

So if you and David Goggins were to get on a road and start running, who would stop first?

It's hard to say. David Goggins is obviously a savage. He's definitely a faster runner than me. I'd actually stopped running to train for Antarctica. Had to get fat. So it was pretty unique. I was tired. Dragging was my core training. It'd be hard to say who'd stop first. I think we both have a very strong capacity to endure tremendous amount of suffering. He's definitely faster than me, though, hands down. No, no doubt.

So you might get there first, but would you keep going longer?

I think we would both probably go till we die. I mean, that's what happened in Antarctica. Why I didn't end up completing the full mission, I lose, which is what ultimately ended the expedition after 60 days. So push the body to the brink of death. And so in a very literal way, I'd experienced that and the amount of hardship I endured to get there. I mean, moments where I was so dizzy, like I was drunk, stumbling around, fell over, I couldn't. I couldn't catch my breath. I was breathing heavily. Pain in the spine, pain in the chest, pain in the gut, pain in the legs, and the mental hardship, the emotional anguish. But that's part of the draw, you know, when you asked me earlier what I found, I was touching on the spiritual nowness, but building on what we're talking about with regards to pain, this was something I had played around with a lot. And that's what Fearvana represents. These. This two seemingly contradictory ideas of fear and nirvana are in fact complementary. But in Antarctica, it got crystallized in a more beautiful way into a concept that I have started to term the paradox of oneness. And what this is is that it's the realization that all the opposites that encompass the human experience pain, pleasure, masculine, feminine, light, dark, life and death, so on and so forth. They are not, in fact, separate, separate.

They're all just polarities.

They're all polarities, and they're part of the same greater whole. And it's the demonization, it's the resisting or clinging to either side that causes real suffering.

So which one is worse, masculine or feminine?

Setting me up on that one.

Well, it's really illustrative of our point because you can't have one without the other.

Exactly, exactly. They both coexist. And that's the whole essence of what I do. I mean, you know, my wife will tell you, when I'm not on the edge of suffering, I Enjoy being comfortable. Very comfortable. And, you know, there's this movement now that's gone to this other extreme of comfort is the enemy. Comfort is inherently. Is not the enemy. Too much comfort, sure. But comfort is valuable because of discomfort, and discomfort is valuable because of comfort. They both. These polarities coexist. And that's the essence, I think, of finding not only inner peace, but freedom and even the pursuit of masteries. Exploring and embracing both edges of any duality.

There are some curious alignments in our thinking. Every now and then, someone will come along and say, how can you have something called danger Coffee? That's like death wish water or whatever. Or whatever. Murder water. What's that thing called Liquid death. And kudos to the guys who are building Big Brand. I don't like the idea of drinking liquid death, but I chose the word danger because I don't want a world that's full of safety, because that is the most horrifying thing ever. A place where you cannot take risk at all because it's a dead world. And so the positive side of danger is freedom. And with Fervana, what you're talking about is, well, you can't have the peace, and you can't have that calmness without having fear and learning how to face it.

Exactly.

So the alignment around just pointing out the polarities is really similar. And neither one is negative at all.

Exactly.

And some people will hear fear of honor, and all they hear is the fear. And you're trying to bring both sides of the polarity together to maybe depolarize it.

Yeah, you can't have a summit without a valley. You know, there has to be the lows. And I think a lot of times when I do talks around the world, I notice that people are scared to leap off the edge for the fear of falling, for the fear of pain. And as a result, they live their lives what Henry Thoreau would call the life of quiet desperation. But if you step into the edge of pain, it amplifies the experience of pleasure. You have to know the depths of the abyss to experience the heights of awe.

So are you into bdsm?

I am not. It's a different world that. No judgment.

You sounded like it for a minute there. It's just. Just saying.

My friends say that a lot too.

Why am I seeing blushing over.