This is a YouTube video titled "Why caring what people think is so damaging with Rachel Hollis" featuring a conversation between Rachel Hollis and another speaker discussing societal pressures on women related to appearance, self-worth, and health. The dialogue explores themes of self-acceptance, mental focus, and the impact of cultural expectations on women's lives. The content was created in April 2021 and centers on personal development and health mindset.
Chapters
Bulletproof radio, a state of high performance, raised in the way that I was, in the way that many women are raised in that your value is tied up into whether or not people approve of you, whether or not people like you, whether or not people think you're pretty is decimating.
Any guy who's been codependent has a meaningful amount of that. I was codependent earlier in life because you're responsible. You, your response to other person's happiness, it's all about you, whatever feelings they have. So then you're always trying to please people. And yeah, that's a toxic place. But the difference with men and women there is, there's more of the physical side in our culture for women. You know, you have to look a certain way. You can be a 300 pound computer hacker and it's okay if you're too. That would be me in an earlier iteration, but you still can have the same mindset, but it's just less physical. And I think knowing how much time a lot of women spend in the bathroom and getting ready in the morning, oh my God, that's a big burden.
Well, and even, I mean, this is a lot of the work that I'm doing right now is how much of our capacity to think, how much of our mind we give every day to how we look, to what size our jeans are, to our weight, to, to all of these things. And I just think if you like, if you could just not worry about that again. If you just never again thought, I look ugly, my butt looks weird in these pants. How much, like, thought process does that open up for you? Like, how many companies will never get invented, nonprofits will never be started. Products that we would love, books, we would love, podcasts we want to listen to will never be created because women are so tied up in second guessing themselves and feeling like they're wrong and feeling like other people won't approve or they're going to fail. How many things will never exist because of this stupid desire to have everybody like you to be the popular girl? You know, it's so powerful, right? It's a wild, wild thing. And I think that society has tried a lot in the last, you know, decade to have conversations about what this looks like. But to me, it's still not. We're still not quite getting that piece right. We're still not talking about it in the right way. I'm not gonna go off on that tangent.
It feels like we're at least moving in the right direction. I mean, you look at the 50s housewife and corsets and stockings and high heels and whatever they did to their hair back then. I like to think it's better now, but I could be wrong. What do I know? I'm wearing a T shirt.
No, it's a million, million times better. But it's still. It's still. You know, it's like most things. It's not where it should be. And I think it's still this. There's this weird thing that my. This is my. This is my soapbox. This is my drum. I'm going to beat on it forever. It's funny to talk to you about this because all the work you've done in the health space, but for me, I want to approach health about how we feel, not how we look.
That is the core of what I do, Rachel. And the abs are a side effect of eating a lot of energy.
And that's the thing. That is exactly the thing that people. I keep trying. I talked about this at conference. I try and explain this in books is like the end result will be the same.
Yeah.
You will just pursue it from a place of love and excitement about your body and seeing what it's capable of and challenging yourself. Instead of a place of shame, instead of a place of hating yourself. Instead of a place like I truly. All I care about in the world. I'm gonna say this to you, and you're. You're like the exact person to talk to about this. My biggest focus in life is all to live in such a way that my brain can operate at the highest level.
There you go. We can be good friends. That's all that matters.
All that matters to me, like what I am eating, how I'm sleeping, what. All of it. How can I have the greatest ability to focus to do this work? Because I'm. I assure you, and I have similar worlds and that our schedules are packed. We have a family that we want to show up for. All of it is my brain.
