Fireside Chat: The Integrated Leader: Balancing Power with Purpose

So what, what does it mean to be awake?

Well, first of all, what's it mean to be asleep? It means to be not present to oneself, not present to what's around you, not present to our families, our organizations, our businesses. To be asleep means to have our attention, our presence, our mind, all inward in rumination, in thought, in the past, in fear, or looking back at things, always to see did I do things right, Judgment, all of these things. And then also looking at things in the future, constantly in the future, so you're never really awake in the present. For me, being awake in the present is recognizing. Hold on a sec. There's an automatic program that's running me from my childhood, from my teenagehood, from all my imprints. And that automatic program is not my nature. That's when I'm asleep. I'm just a character in a film role. Yet when I wake up and I go, hold on a sec, what am I doing right now? Like right now I'm with you, I'm with all these wonderful people, sharing the gifts that I've received in my life. So what am I doing now here in this present? So I wake up to that, this constant waking up to what is the motive, the intention, what am I doing, what I'm doing, why I'm doing right now and that moment. And I use my doorways. Whenever I go through a doorway, it reminds me, wake up, wake up, and get cognizant of your motive, your intention, what you're doing, why you're doing it. If not, we easily go back into the slumber of automaticity. And as leaders, it's imperative that not only do we continuously wake up, but that we're waking up our teams. Leadership is the art of waking people up to themselves, their potency, their clarity, and their synergy with others. When we're asleep, we're running on automatic programs.

So the image I get when I listen to you is that our minds are constructed like a three story building where there's the basement, where you have a play going on the shadows of the past. Then we have the ground floor, what is happening in the here now. And on the top floor, we have the dreams and aspirations and hopes and ruminations about the future. And what you're saying is that awakening is to be in the present moment and not be in the next, next, next mode, but in the now mode.

We'll use a metaphor that's more romantic.

Imagine I'm with my lover, my wife, or we're with our lovers. If my mind is always on the Past, she's my wife is going to feel it. If my mind isn't on what's going to be happening next later, she can feel my lack of attunement and presence in the moment, which causes her to recoil, not be so inviting, wondering, am I good enough? Does he love me? And can just spur all types of thoughts. And it also feels disrespectful. But when I'm totally with their lockstep, I'm feeling her being, her heart, her truth. I'm becoming empathic. I'm feeling, I'm attuning. So for me, waking up in business, waking up in relationship, waking up in life is the art and the cultivation of attuning to this now moment. So it's not just waking up now, it's becoming sensitive, becoming aware, like a Tai Chi master or a sailor who's aware of the ocean, aware of the wind, and can navigate just from the subtle awareness. Whereas a regular person like me, who's not a sailor, wouldn't catch that. As leaders in business, it's imperative that we continue to cultivate our awareness and our attunement. In sales, if we're not attuning to who we're offering our services to, then we're coming from our mind. We're not coming from what's in it for them. Can I speak to what's in it? What's valuable, what's precious? How will a level their life, their business, their relationships, their potency in the world? So it's that attunement to the now, to the now of another, to the heart of another, to the motives, to what drives another, which is also deepens the art of being in the present, being in the now. So it's not just an esoteric idea. It's so pragmatic for especially us business leaders and in sales, it's essential because if you're drifting in a meeting with sales, people can feel it intuitively. They feel you're coming from a script, a mindset or a force. Whereas true selling is coming from a deeper power of attunement, care, and the intention to deliver service to profoundly, powerfully and fully to who you're with.

So we need the now alignment between us and the customer.

Absolutely, absolutely.

Let's transpose that to the relationship between the sales leader and the salesperson. And typically it is a command and control leadership. What's wrong with that? What's broken? How do we fix it?

The command and control leadership, it has its value for many years coming from a military, intentional direction and imprint. And so that's gotten to it where we're at now. And so we have the success, we have the capacities that that gives us, but it has a diminishing return. The more people mature, the more people have their own wisdom, their own power, their own growth, and the more powerful one is becoming in sales. And salespeople are autonomous. They're not naturally followers by their own energy. They're leaders, they're inspirational. They like to be in relationship with others. And so it's really imperative to recognize that as a sales trainer, leader of other salespeople, that you're helping them, you're training them to foster genuine relationship. Right now, as we move from the attention economy quickly, very quickly, into the AI economy of AI and robotics, we're moving very powerfully, very rapidly into a connection economy. And so the artistry, the care, and especially, may I even say, the heart and love of us as sales individuals and organizations is imperative. As trust is the need for deeper trust in a world of automation happens. The need for knowing, who is this human across from me? What is the true value I can offer them? What is the true care I can offer them? And so our job is to engender the feeling of deep relationship and not the fast sale, not just cross the finish line for this week, next week. How can we create lifelong relationships with these individuals, these organizations? And that requires us to be more human, more caring, and more conscripted to the service of others.

So is this a skill that can be taught?

Absolutely. It's an art, a skill and a way of life. It's an art, a skill and a way of life. And so as sales leaders with my team, one of the first things that I train them in, when I'm sharing and I'm trained to work with those, you know, in, in the various aspects of our organization. I say I want you to. First of all, in our training drill sessions, when we're drilling and training, I just say, tune into the person across from you. What are their dreams? What are their aspirations? What moves them? What's important to them, what's valuable to them? They're like, I don't know. I haven't asked them anything. I go, now start trusting your intuition. Look a little deeper than your face. Come out of your mind. Soften the front surface of your face, Soften your throat, soften your heart, soften your belly, soften your chest. That softening of the front surface of the body. We learn this in martial arts, we learn this in yoga. We learn this in different practices. Allows us to intuitively feel the other more. We become stronger in relationship and our intuition tells us, okay, Gerhard, what's he enjoy? I've met you twice. We've two, three times. We've had wonderful connections. Well, what's valuable to him? Integrity, clarity, deep thinking, long term, wide spectrum understanding of the world. He cares not just about this moment, he cares about the direction of humanity. So I'm saying these things. And so because I'm intuiting them from our connection, if I was coming from the agenda I wanted to land to you, I wouldn't even pick up those things. So it's so important to become intuitive and care about what moves the people we're serving, why they're here, what their life is for, what truly has meaning for them. And when we connect and empathize with that, then whatever we're offering can match that. If we truly can serve the upliftment of what they're, what's in it for them in their life, then they're going to say yes. If we're trying to serve them with something that they don't need, they're going to reject it. And eventually we're going to have a counterbalancing force trying to push stuff on people they don't need. So it all starts with the caring attunement in the moment.

So you're, you're bridging Eastern philosophy with.

Western leadership principles.

Can you help us understand what are those principles that we need to pay attention to? And sometimes we get confused with. Well, at least I do with western language. Because in Western society we say life is hard and you need to be tough. And, and, and what you are teaching from the Eastern perspective is soften your face, soften your body, attune to the other person. So when do we hang loose? When do we.

I'm a martial artist, a career martial artist. All my life it's been part of my joy. I've had martial arts schools. Part of our fundamental philosophy is the Yin and Yang of Chinese and Japanese philosophy. Those of you don't know, it's a round circle, you probably see it and it's like a fish in the center and there's a black round and then the opposite is white. Now here's the thing. The Yang is the strong masculine achievement. Western, go get it. Has created a magnificent world that the west has created. The east is go inward. Attunement, meditation, connection with the deeper meanings of life.

Relaxing and letting go of excessive willpower and having more faith, trust and flow state that also Has a deep truth. So which one should we go for? Both have validity. Now here's the mystery and the secret. In martial arts and in business and in life, we need to cultivate the whole spectrum is what I have found for me, because the heart of Yang force going forward, strong, energetic, crushing it. That mindset, the heart of it is yin in the Yin and Yang philosophy. So if I'm also hard on the inside and I'm not soft, open, spacious in faith, in a state of abundance, in a state of inner smile, then that I'll become excessively harsh and burn out. If I'm on the other side and I'm too yin, yes, things will flow to me, you know, the new ageisms, I'll just think it intended and it'll just happen. This also has a falseness or limitation because it doesn't happen because there's no energy in it. There's no intention, no action, no follow through. And so the heart of yin, the soft, feminine, the receptive, is the Yang, the adamantine, immovable presence and strength, mastery in life, in business, I have found, is the cultivation of the Yin and Yang. And now pragmatically, how does that work? Let me boil it right down to real life. So if I'm putting too much excessive intention and willpower in something, there's always a counterbalancing force. I may push hard, attain great goals, but I might miss time with my family or my health might break down, my blood pressure might go up or my blood sugar goes out of whack because I'm out of balance, I'm not getting enough sleep, I'm overrun, I'm over tired, I'm exhausting myself and eventually burning out. But also, but my numbers look good, my finances look great. People go, I've got a new car. Look how success, no, it's not a holistic, integrated success. I believe we're in the era now where an integrated dimension of success, well being and fulfillment is imperative for us business leaders. Now if we go on the other end, let's just chill out, let's just go and sit on the beach and all that. We won't have any progression in life, we won't have any fire to grow, to challenge ourselves, to become stronger. So I don't think there's a problem with one or the other. I think the challenge is when we get stuck in one or the other. And as leaders, sales masters, we have to cultivate knowing what that the outer Yang must be grounded in relaxation.

And letting go of the importance. And here's a metaphysical paradox. My spiritual teacher said to me, he was a master at sales. He said, satan, when you go into there, into a sales meeting internally, be willing to walk away already.

You already walked away. There's no leaning in now. Don't lean away. But he says, don't excessively lean in. Find that center point. That's when you're most trustable, you're most present. If you're, ah, this ain't gonna work out. I don't want to know if I can serve these people. You're leaning out or you're pressuring to lean in. When we find that yin and yang, that center point, our capacity to serve really amplifies. And he also said this to me. He goes, it doesn't matter who you're with.

When you're in a position of service.

He says, take your ego and subjugate it and go underneath their ego and lift their ego up. You will have to lessen your ego, subjugate it in service to the upliftment of their ego and being.

And he also said another aspect. He says, one of the very powerful ways to grow your teams and organizations, and I'll pass this on one with all of us that I've been doing.

Is really powerful principle of.

Supporting everyone else's prominence and significance and reputation in the organization around you. Don't aim to. The more you aim to grow your reputation and significance and ego and how people will look at you, it always counterbalances. There'll always be someone who shoots you in the foot and something takes you down. It just is part of the universal law. Yet if I support Gerhard like you came on today so beautifully, acknowledging my books, sharing so beautifully, I'm very grateful for you. You help my reputation, my significance by your kind endorsement and valuing of who I am. And I will be doing the same for you. Not because of a formula, not because it's. Because it's the way. It's the way of warriors, it's the way of sages, it's the way of nobility. We raise each other's reputations and significance like chivalry. And when we do that in teams, then everyone raises together the field, the strength, the companies that are going, should I trust what these people have to sell? Yes, I can. I can feel it. And it's beyond logic, it's beyond numbers. It's the feeling of you are trustable.

So explain the relationship between the leaders in a state and team performance.

Our team performance is a reflection of our being. What surround us is like a mirror Reality.

So imagine the day to day, everything that's gone on around us, every interaction is a projection of our subconscious mind out in there. So if we look in the mirror, like here, this is a type of mirror. If I smile, I smile back. If I frown, it frowns back. If I frown, you're not going to smile back.

If I'm putting out this subconscious energy of tension, come on, let's go. My stress, my struggle and all of this is being projected. Then the reflection will be the same. Those subordinates to us, they are so looking for our direction, they're looking for our approval, they're looking for truly our approval. So if we're putting out energy of non approval or I don't care, I do care, they're going to be affected. If you put out the energy, the intention and the feeling of I approve of you. If you've got correction or coaching to do. Okay, Sam, sit down here. I'm going to give you a 7 out of 10 on this sales meeting. What you did well was you did this well, you made good contact to get to a 10, show us more of this, serve this person even more. So it's not you did good or bad. You give them objective, clear.

Subjective feedback, training, development, but from the place of care and upliftment of their capacity. That's why I always use what I call the 10 method in coaching with my teams. Okay, I give you 8 out of 10. This is what you did well to get to a 10, show us more. Hey, you did two out of 10 at least. You showed up to the meeting, you looked a little, you know, you look baggy eyed and you look like you just jumped out of bed and you needed six coffees and I don't know what you were doing the night before, but hey, to get to a 10, be fresh for the next meeting, get a good rest. So whether it's some type of disciplining or directing or uplifting or cultivating, it's that attunement.

Is everything.

So in sales, sales organizations encounter a lot of headwinds and.

Customers are not always predictable. There's a lot of uncertainty and salespeople need one thing more than anything else, which is resilience in the face of adversity. How do you build genuine, effective resilience that allows sales teams to weather the storm and do a lot better?

It's a great question, great question. One of the psychological tricks, but it's more than a trick, it's a mindset. It's a way of life. It's a Way of being.

This comes from my martial arts practice as well as business practice. It's called the secret art of lowering importance.

Now how do we lower importance? So if I've got a big sales meeting to go to.

I have a follow up sales meeting today, I might have another one tomorrow. Substantial numbers, 6, 7 figure numbers.

I can feel already my heartbeat, I can feel my pulse, I can feel a slight sweat going on. I can feel the urgency, the importance, the stakes at hand. And what happens is the nervous system starts to ramp up, ramp up. You start to feel the importance of that meeting. And by the time you get to that meeting, that sales meeting, there's this inner tension, stress, supple thing that's in your body, your mind, your spirit, your energy field. This is picked up, they have their accompanying wow, I've got a big thing, I have to make a decision, am I going to go for a high ticket offer here? Am I going to go for this or. So there's tension, nervousness, unsureness on both sides. Here's the metaphysical mindset, emotional.

If you will, magic to cultivate. Whenever you find that the dial of importance is going up like a bass or treble on a speaker stereo, turn the importance down.

Intend, visualize the perfect scenario.

Transpiring, closing the deal, the handshake, or continuing to serve the person, their business booms, the their life booms in whatever way we're serving them. But when I'm going in, I'm lowering the importance, I'm breathing, I'm modulating my nervous system, I'm staying in attunement, I'm staying out of push energy and I'm staying out of fear energy. And I'm staying grounded in service and strength. And I'm in this place of, with our support and help of what we offer, here's truly where you can go, here's what's achievable.

Let'S go for it.

And that's the secret I have found. The biggest secret of sales is the lowering of importance which ratchets down the nervous system, which actually creates more flow and affinity.

And allows the deals to consummate stronger from a place of grounded trust as opposed to hyped up energy which then they might say yes and back out 24 hours later. Because they felt the pressure, they felt the pitching, they felt the hard close. And then as we know, law provides in many places cancellation pullback. Because you change your mind if you want to start avoiding that. Lower the importance and you'll watch the deals consummate sweeter Deeper and long lasting. But then follow it up with profound service. All of sales means nothing unless the follow up in service is commensurate with all the promises and beyond.

So Satyan, let's go back to leadership. A lot of leaders confuse.

Influence and control. And it is silly to assume that we have control over anything.

We can ratchet up to influence and become more influential. So how do you do this?

The most powerful, that's not a life hack or a shortcut, but a way of life.

Is be the human, the man, the woman, the being that you would trust.

Fully, that you would honor, value and trust fully.

Be the person that that is of the impeccability.

That this culture, this new era is being called upon us. A lot of stuff is going to be done through automatic, automate, you know, automation, a lot of stuff. What will survive and those who will thrive are the ones.

Who take leadership as a way of life, not as a way of outcome. Leadership is a way of service. Leadership is a way of uplifting those around you. Leadership is going, okay, what is Gerhardt's mastery? Let me not have him do stuff that's not his mastery. What's Jessica's mastery? What's Vince's mastery? What's their mastery? Let me support their mastery and let me help them do less and less and less of anything less than their highest capacities. And our full conscripted service to them will great will create such a loyalty to them back to you. They're like, I can't believe my leader has told me not to do this, this and this, the stuff I hated. And they're saying, look, you're really good at this. Hunker down on that. Let's get you support, let's get you systems to deal with the stuff that is really headachy for you. When we do this as a leader, from our heart, from our care, from our love, I might even say, and from our higher intention of having a successful company.

So when salespeople sign up for jobs with companies, they usually attracted by the company and sometimes they get disillusioned by their leaders. Why? Because leaders often preach values and then their behavior is not congruent with their values. So how do you awaken leaders to embed their values in their mindset operating system?

You gotta want to, you gotta not want to pay lip service to higher ideals and values. If you're doing it because you think it's some strategy, you'll fail if you hit enough obstacles, you've hit enough unfulfillment, you feel unfulfilled within. You feel, okay, I'm leading. Business is happening, this is happening. Good things are happening. But you're not happy. You're not soulfully, you're not feeling, wow, I have a value and purpose. That means you're living out of alignment with who you are. So the most important thing is, is before we even try to do that, you gotta want to. And if you don't want to, no one can help you. No one. You got to do stuff until you do it, until you hit a bad spot, until you smash your car, until you get a disease, until you get divorced, until you get a heart attack and then go, okay, hold on a sec. I better look at the inside, how I'm operating. Because it's the inside which is operating your physiology. It's the inside that's operating your blood pressure, your inner state of being. It's the inside. So what I'm going to suggest here for those in that situation, start caring about you. Start caring about your own integrity, and most importantly, start caring about your own equilibrium and congruence. You already know if you're a leader. We already know what our ideals are. We already know what our higher values are. And we know where we're out with that. We got to take the time to be humble, bring our humbleness back. You know, in Kung Fu, we say the path is hard to find and easy to lose, but it's always there.

And as a leader, our response ability grows when we care about the inner world. Because look, that's what is if we nurture ourselves, we nurture our integrity, we nurture our soul, we nurture our family life. I have what I call the five freedoms. Faith. It's a spiritual connection, family, making sure your family's well served and loved, and goodness in the family. Finance, earning, saving, spending. Investing is in wisdom, not in crazy, neurotic, clamoring Faith. Family finance, fitness, taking care of our vessel, our well being, what God gave us. And then fun. Faith, family, finance, fitness, fun. Enjoying life, not postponing it until I've made that check or I've made that check or I've made that check mark or whatever number I've attained. No, I need to enjoy life now for me, with the CEOs I've been mentoring for decades now and my own self. When we cultivate this equilibrium, trust deepens in ourselves. Our spouses, our families love us more, we love ourselves. Life takes on new hues, new meaning, and paradoxically, success booms with way less effort. We've been imprinted that More yang, more effort. Struggle, save, struggle now and the goodies will come later. This is an error. It's an error.

Final question. How do leaders create.

Healthy competition but also genuine collaboration?

These are great questions.

I develop healthy camaraderie.

I don't have a sense of healthy competition. Some people are motivated by competition. Those who are, I have them come up with a competition game that they both feel like they're winning and supporting each other. So there's no againstness and there's a feeling and the energy. The way we set up that goal is we'll go, okay, who's going to achieve it first? And then we all celebrate the micro wins towards that goal. So we don't just celebrate the big goal and then one is the loser.

Everyone is a winner if we're all rowing in the same direction. And so that's the key as a leader. We got to get our sales teams to row in the same direction, foster for those who have that healthy competitive energy and say, okay, what's the most funnest game we can create to achieve our goals? Create. Let's create a game together. And what would that game be that would inspire all of us? So you're not just coming up with games, you're saying, what would the game be with all of us? And when you craft that game as a group and then you initiate it, you play it, it becomes fun. And now everyone's pushing, poking, having fun with each other rather than militaristic. I gotta topple you. If I get to the top.

Maybe.

I could add an idea which is the wall of dreams that leaders can put in the conference room where they invite everybody. What are you dreaming about? And put a picture on the wall and help each other fulfill that dream.

Beautiful.

Satyan, can't thank you enough for joining us. That was wonderful. And Stephanie texted me, wow, this is so great. We need this in our lives. And I said, you should come to Bryant University and teach.

It would be my joy and honor. My joy and honor. In fact, I just did a session for Wharton University with Professor Kartik and they were very moved by and see the value of the direction of business as we're entering a whole new era, that the wholeness of our human condition and that higher virtues and values of the east and west are coming together since the world is now becoming smaller and that we have to embrace the yin and yang, the potency of doing, and the joy of undoing.

And non doing.

Stephanie, thank you for joining us. I take great pleasure in being the broker of.

Ideas between Satyen and your students.

This is such a great session. I loved it. I've got notes here of so many quotes down there. And it just. I mean, caring effectively for ourselves, for other people in our lives, it just makes it so much more whole. So thank you for that perspective.

A true joy and an honor. And for everyone listening, happy, enlightened, selling. Enlightened, selling.