Dennis & Julie: Facing Reality

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So I have a thought on music because the music is on and I love it. Last night It is difficult. I'm laughing at myself, I admit it. Last night, for about 2 and a half hours, I was transported in my own home to my version of paradise. My audio guys were over and I was listening to some new equipment. To make my already incredible sounding audio system, believe it or not, measurably, audibly better than it was. And you heard it. You got tears. It was really Billy Joel, Piano Man.

Good memory.

Oh, not good memory. I, I knew the song, but you made me fall in love with it. And I now use it as one of my samplers to just test out. That's so great. Oh, it is.

Wow.

If you heard it now, There is no question it would be almost impossible to hear him live and hear him as well as you would hear him.

I have heard him live and I was in the third or fourth row and your sound system is better. Yes, it was actually kind of a— I mean, don't get me wrong, it was an amazing—

No, no, no. Live is always something to be there. Right.

But it's kind of abrasive when you're at— when you're that close. When you're far away, you can't hear as well. But when you're right there. Yeah.

Well, this is right there with Nana Grace.

It's ear-shattering. Yeah.

So I had a lot of thoughts about it because I always think from outside of me about— I'm looking down at me my whole life. I'm observing Dennis. It's fun. I enjoy observing me. And not because of narcissism, but because that's how I learn about humanity. So this is really— this will interest, I think, a lot of people who know me for years. That I always believed that in my essence I am quote-unquote everyman. I believe I have gifts. I mean, it's not believe, I know that I have gifts. I acknowledge that. I've had a very special life. All of that I know. I don't deny it. I don't have false humility. None of that nonsense. But I am just like— in my nature, I have the same human nature, not the same individual nature, but human nature that others have. So therefore, I was able to understand humanity by understanding Dennis. That was a key, the key to unlocking my understanding, especially of men. I, I'm a man. This guy's a man. He may be an a-hole. He may be a murderer, but he's a man and I'm a man and we come from the same stock. So if I knew me, I knew a lot about him. Isn't that interesting?

I love that. I mean, I do the same thing with myself. But, you know, a lot of people, as we know, are not honest with their natures, both their individual natures and their human nature. But anyway, you were saying that you—

So, okay, so yes. So what did that have to do with all of this? So I was looking down on myself last night and thinking, this guy really enjoys life.

I know you told me I have to share it with the viewers. And actually, the other day I was thinking about whether this was a joke or whether you would actually like this to happen. Dennis said to me once, My tombstone will have an engraving that says, "He had a great time." And sorry to sound a little bit depressing, but I do think about your death a fair amount. I don't obsess over it, but you know, it's something that comes to mind because you're such a huge part of my life and it's going to be really, really difficult to put it lightly when you're gone, as I know it will be for many people, many of whom have not met you. But I was thinking about your death the other day, and I was thinking I should really ask him. Hopefully I have many more years to talk through things with you, but I should really ask him before he goes. Were you serious about that tombstone?

Oh, oh, I, I, that's very interesting.

It could be, it could be kind of fun.

Uh, what was it? He had a great time.

That's what you— yeah, that's what you told me.

Uh, I, if that were written there, I would be totally I would die in peace.

I think you'd die in peace anyway.

Yeah, well, that's the hope. By the way, just for those who share your concern, if I died at the age, if I die at the age like my dad did, I have 21 more years. That's not a little time. And he was healthy. And, you know, there's no guarantee. I could get a tumor tomorrow. But that's true for you. That's true for every living person. That is why, by the way, It is a gift of God or nature that we don't know the day we'll die.

Yes, so true.

Even let's say you knew, oh, I won't die till my 100th birthday, let's say. So what? So you would have the— all of your life would be a countdown. It is a, it is a gift that we don't know when we'll die.

And it's a gift that we don't know whether or not we'll go to heaven or whether or not there's a God. I actually think it is a gift because With, if there were certainty, it wouldn't make life as interesting. I know I become better in the pursuit of trying to figure things out cosmically.

That's where you and I are real similar dispositions. If there are, so he asks, Sean does, if there are a way to know what, if there is a God? Oh, the day you would not know. I would never want to know that. That's why, by the way, I can't think, which is very sad for me to say to you, just as what you just said about death was sad for you to say to me, the last thing I would want to do is enter a time machine and go into the future. I can't believe I would come back happier. Oh well, absolutely. By the way, I would love to go into a time machine and back.

Oh gosh, me too. Even just—

you would like to go to 34 years, Jane Eyre's world?

Yeah, you know, would you? I think I would. I just— to see, you know, imagine being in Puritan Massachusetts, right? Just to look at it and to see the way that people interacted with each other and see the kinds of structures they had.

You got to go for one day, the amount you would learn. Oh my gosh, I know, about humanity and history, I really, what I would do, I see, I wouldn't go, for example, if I went back in American history, I, as much as I adore, and I do, these people were God's gifts to the world. Franklin and Jefferson and Madison and Washington, I mean, they were giants. But if I could go back to that era, I would go to a tavern with the regular folks.

Oh, of course. Yeah, just—

yeah, that— what are they talking about? And if I could go back in time and give myself a message, what does that mean, give myself a message? If I could go back in my time, you mean in my life? Oh, and I could tell teenage Dennis something? Oh, that's an interesting question. What would I tell young Dennis that I know now and didn't know then? Whoa, I have to think about that. I really, really, really thought starting, I would say, at 14— I could almost date it. I— do you know that when I was 16, you'll get a kick out of this. So Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday of every week, I would go from Brooklyn where I— where my parents lived, therefore I lived— to Manhattan. And you have to understand, in New York City, you don't even say I'm going to Manhattan. You say I'm going to the city because everybody knows that's the city. Well, not Brooklyn, not the Bronx, not Queens, not Staten Island.

I'm sorry to interrupt you. Don't forget what you're going to say, but I always always thought it was so pretentious and self-righteous when I would meet people in college and they, you know, you say at Harvard there's 4 things: what's your name, where are you from, what are you majoring in, and what house are you in. And so where are you from, people from New York would go, the city. They'd be like, you know what, a whole—

sorry, they really—

yes, they would. I would go, well, LA is a city too.

Yeah, but that is— all right, so now you know, now you know what I'm saying is accurate. Yes, but we who lived in Brooklyn would say it.

And then they say the park, like my friends. Yes, I went to the park today. Oh, right. Like Central Park is the only—

Oh, that's very funny. That is true. That's me.

Angry.

So I'd go into the city every, every weeknight except Friday night because it was the Shabbat. I'd be at home. So at 16, so I would come back like at 11 p.m. And sometimes the cars were nearly empty, sometimes they were— there were never a lot of people. But anyway, so I was sitting like this, my arms to the side, 'cause you know, they're just long, there's no individual seats on the New York subway, you just— so I'm sitting back there, leaning back, and I had teenage angst. A little bit of that. And I remember, and it's amazing that I did it. I don't even take credit for it. I was— it's a gift, really. I said to myself, you know, any a-hole could be unhappy. Unhappy is the easy way out, Dennis Prager. And that was when something that doesn't occur to most people at 50. You know, get out of your damn miserable mood and, and act and be happy. And I've never changed. So I'm only answering his question. I really did have a lot of wisdom at a young age. I don't take any credit for it. I think it's like piano talent. You're given it. I take credit for what I've done with the wisdom, right, that I've given to a lot of people, uh, these insights. But I, I, I had it at an early age.

What you just said about act happy— I have recently really started to believe in the fake it till you make it mentality. I used to think, well, faking it is faking it.

Yeah, right, it's inauthentic.

It's inauthentic. Why would you, you know, and we're such pursuers of the truth. But I actually think if you're unhappy, you kind of have, as you say in your book, you have an obligation to kind of fake it, act happy for the benefit of the people around you.

And for your benefit.

Yes.

Because until you make it. You know where fake it till you make it comes from?

No.

12-step programs.

Really?

Oh, it's great.

Oh gosh, you are so right that there's more wisdom in AA than.

Than at Harvard. Well, you could say it, but Harvard's better than Yale. I mean, Yale is really low, but that is true. And I, thank God, was never addicted, so I was never in a program. I knew nothing about it. But that's the beauty of having a talk show. That's the beauty over a podcast. Podcasts are great. I talked with— I've talked with people. For 40 years. Who can say that? Maybe a therapist could say that, but, but they have the same people.

You've spoken with a variety of people and they open up.

So I remember people would say some stuff like that, fake it till you make it. And whenever I hear wisdom, it's my immediate response on the air would be, did you make that up or did you learn that? Whenever I hear a real piece of wisdom, which is a great question to ask because then you know, wow, am I talking to a person who comes up with this stuff? Or just as important, where can I look that you got that from? And unbelievably, over time, oh well, I, you know, I was, uh, I was addicted to whatever— gambling, liquor, whatever, you know, alcohol. And I was in a 12-step program. The stuff that they have learned, it's incomparable. So fake it till you make it. So you'll love this. So when I talk about happiness to kids, which is my first choice, not to talk politics, is to talk happiness. Because if I tell them their feelings are not important, their behavior is, I have made a conservative. That's the irony. It's not even my primary, I wanna make them happy. But anyway, there are no happy leftists. So if they really do become happy, then I believe there's a philosophical, political, moral change in the person. But anyway, so I would talk about happiness and tell them, you know, fake it till you make it, whatever, however I would have put it before I learned that phrase. And their— the most common question is, well, you know, sir, that's not authentic, that's not acting authentic. So I would say to them, I'll, I'll tell you, you're really into acting authentically? I'm just curious, do you fart in public? That is truly authentic, correct?

A lot of people do.

No, I don't think so. Thank God. At least maybe, maybe not really. I, I, I thank God cannot say that.

You ever been on a plane?

Yeah, I've been up. Have I been on a plane?

It's true.

Question is, have I been in a house? Uh, but, uh, or in— authentic is body odor. Authentic is bad breath. I mean, this, this— that people don't realize when We spend our lives in inauthenticity, not being fake humans, but authentic.

Be clothed, to a degree.

That's right, nudity is authentic. That's exactly correct.

That's a really good response. Really good.

Oh, I know it is because they have no answer to that. What's authentic about deodorant? Right?

What's authentic about abiding by the speed limit. If you want to drive over the speed limit, there are a lot of ways that we restrain ourselves or do things we don't want to do. So I'll tell you, uh, you may not even know that I did this, um, but a few months ago, after I graduated from college and I moved back to LA, I think it was when I moved into my apartment, I really wanted to, as corny as it sounds, become more involved in my community because You and I talk a lot about, we talked about it last week on Dennis and Julie, the value and the importance of doing things in a small way. We talked about how the left tells you to go fight racism, fight climate change. You start with fighting yourself and you start with making differences, positive differences in your own community. So I wanted to become more involved. And so I decided to go to some AA meetings near my apartment.

Why?

Because I wanted to get to know more people in my community. I, I feel like we now—

You never told me this.

I, I know. I don't know why.

When did you do this?

I only did it twice, but this was a few months ago when I was a few months ago.

Yeah, yeah.

And well, it was for a few reasons. I wanted to get to know people around.

When you were with the AMA, did they ask you to introduce yourself?

Oh yeah.

But so why did you say, uh, hi, I'm Julie But, but I'm, I'm not addicted. Or what did you say?

Yes.

What does the non-addicted say?

I said, I'm Julie. I thankfully do not and have not struggled with an addiction, but I have some very close friends and family members who have, and I'm curious to—

So that was it. Not a no-brainer.

So nice.

No one gave me— I think AA meetings are the nicest.

They are so welcoming. And they were really touched that someone took an interest. Especially someone young wanted to learn. And I said, I have, I understand that there is a lot of wisdom that is conveyed in these meetings and I want a taste of it, even though I may not be troubled in the same way. And so I went twice and—

By the way, you are addicted to reading. I'm not joking.

And to candy. I am. I have candy every day.

That's interesting. Certainly don't look like you're addicted to candy.

Cheese puffs. I'm addicted to cheese puffs.

Oh, well, that's a separate issue. Is she addicted to candy?

Do you see the York Peppermint Patties?

Yeah. Oh, that's fascinating.

Yeah. It's my vice.

Okay.

But— I am addicted to reading.

That's true. Don't forget what you were about to say. I'm very curious about— what you got at the meeting. But it is a very— to me anyway, an interesting question. My, my wife, I believe, is addicted to reading.

And because she really is—

yes, right. If you— by the way, I'm not sure that I'm not. See, if you, if you took the ability to read away, wouldn't she go into, uh, what is the word, um, not remission, uh, withdrawal? Yeah, withdrawal. Wouldn't she go into withdrawal in a similar way that somebody deprived of alcohol? I, I don't think it would be to the same extent, obviously, but, but she, she would sort of go out of her mind. And by the way, so I, I think I would too. We If you keep your brain alive and the nutrient is removed, it's a big deal.

I really do think I have become addicted to reading. I've actually gotten better about tempering it a bit in the last few weeks, but me, 5 or 3 or 4 months ago, I was totally addicted to it for 2 reasons. Number 1, it takes my mind off of my bad self-talk. And that's, that's, you know, if I may say, it's the same thing with Sue, and we've talked about that. So I can just start reading something and I'm not, you know, beating myself up. And the second reason is I am so motivated to be the best talk show host that I can be. And I, and also I have this— it's not just professional, I want to learn as much as I can because I think it's so fulfilling that I was I was like a little crazy about it. I mean, I would wake up and read for 4 hours and then come to work and then at night read for 2 and I'd highlight and underline and then I'd type up notes and then I'd like quiz myself about. And it was just this, this pursuit of learning that I think was a little bit, what's pathological. Anyway, so I went to the AA meeting and they were so nice. And I think also in addition to wanting to glean the wisdom, wanting to be a community member for all that I talk about the importance of community, I also wanted to just encounter real people, you know, because they are so vulnerable and they're so struggling. And obviously it's not fun to see people struggling, but it's like all the layers are stripped, all the BS is stripped. They don't care about, you know, and they curse and they're loud, and many of them go out and they're smoking their cigarette, but they're real. They're truly just— they've had to strip down to the bare bones. And be real people. And so I loved that. Um, and gosh, I'm trying to tell you what I learned. It was just, it was just really interesting to hear how people— the, the moment—

speak up, did you?

No, I just listened and I took notes. I didn't think it was my place. Sometimes I had questions, but I didn't.

Well, they, they might have appreciated questions.

I did, I did ask some questions, but otherwise I didn't.

Oh, you did?

Oh, it was really interesting to hear people talk about the moments when they knew that, that it was too much, because a lot of them said that they knew that they were addicts for a long time, but they thought that they could kind of live a life where it wouldn't impact them, or they could hide it. And it was really interesting when they talked about the moments when they knew that they had to quit. And a lot of it was, was that their relationships with their children changed.

Oh, really? Well, it's funny— not funny, it's interesting that I, I was blessed. My parents had no pathologies like that. I mean, it wasn't the loving, warm home, but so what? It was, it was stable, it was secure, all of that. And, uh, oh man, it happened It's a bingo moment. Oh no, no, it's—

it's— I love it because we're really relaxed.

Oh yes. So I learned it is the reason because it doesn't happen to me on radio.

I know.

So for me, so the— I'm saying that because what I, what I learned was not from my own experience, and that is if you grew up with an alcoholic parent That is a very, very serious problem.

Oh, I, I can't imagine. It must be. Can I go back for a moment to something that we were talking about earlier?

Yes, just let me think if I wanted to pursue something there for a second. No, you got it. The wisdom. Oh yes, one, one quickie. You won't forget, right?

I won't. I wrote it down.

You're speaking of, uh, people at AA meetings as real. You and I love real. My, my younger son is now sober 7 years, married, wants a child. He does conservative podcast. I mean, he's, he's a dream. But it was a very hard time. I, I'm very open about it. It's fine with him. He was born to a meth addict. Because I adopted him. My late wife and I adopted him when he was born, the day he was born. And his friends are all recovering addicts, and I love them because they're so real. They came from Pennsylvania, where my son lives, to Florida when he got married at my older son's home in Florida. It was a beaut. Truly, I was on a high for— I don't get on highs. I mean, I'm sort of in a permanent high, but you know what I mean.

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Well, I am. It's, it's a gift and I work on it. Both are true. But nevertheless, this was beyond anything. I mean, I was just floating that day. And his friends, I so adore them. You know my story about putting them on the radio? Yes, I, I, people probably don't know it. Elsie doesn't know it, and that's my standard whether I say something or not. Elsey, you've really entered my consciousness. I mean, it's pretty clear. Do people know who Elsey is, or do they think I'm talking to like Mr. Snuffleupagus?

Well, she's, she's our invisible friend.

Yeah, that's what I mean. It's Mr. Snuffleupagus.

I don't know who that is.

Oh, Mr. Snuffleupagus is, um, what's the name of the giant chicken in Sesame Street? Big Bird is not a chicken, just a bird. Okay. Big Bird has an invisible friend.

Oh, did I tell you this? Wait, sorry, I know I'm getting sidetracked. I had an imaginary friend when I was little for like a hot second. Guess what his name was?

Dennis.

Dennis. Isn't that eerie? That's— isn't that crazy? Eerie.

I'm not blinking.

That's where I feel like— well, I definitely believe God exists for many reasons.

Premonition.

But God, God, I think, sprinkles in these fun things like the face on the moon. You look at, look at the way that Mr. Tubbs, your new dog, who I gotta admit I'm not a big fan of Mr. Tubbs, sorry, it's just because he chews my shoes and he follows me everywhere and licks me.

Horrible.

Well, No, mine are. My, my slippers are being chewed. It's a disgrace. Anyway, look at pugs. Like, God just makes kind of these absurd-looking creatures for our delight. I mentioned the man on the moon, and I think the fact that my imaginary friend's name was Dennis, that was another one of God sprinkling in something fun that will later in life make sense.

That's very touching, actually. It must crack you up.

So tell the story of being on the radio with Aaron's friends.

So I was in Pennsylvania to give a speech in Philadelphia area. So I broadcast when I'm on the road. I go to my local station and broadcast. So they're an hour and a half away from Philadelphia, but so what? And I said, why don't you come on my show, Aaron? Bring 3 of your buddies. We'll talk about addiction for an hour. So a lot of addicts. So it's hard to imagine that more than 1 out of 10 Americans does not either experience it or know someone.

Probably more.

No, no, no. In other words, 90%, I believe.

Oh, I see.

Yeah. I think 90% of Americans either know someone or—

I thought you were saying 10%.

No, no, no, of course not. 10% may not know. Okay, so I knew it would be of general interest. So I had the guys on, they were terrific. The second they announced, okay, hour's done, they all gave each other high fives because they didn't curse for one hour.

Sometimes I give myself a high five.

They were so proud of themselves. They had actually gone an hour without cursing.

Sometimes I do that, but I give myself a high five.

Uh, there's— that's right, there's the invisible creature. There's— I never watched Big Bird's dentist. Do you know that I watched Sesame Street every day I was at Columbia University in graduate school? Why? I would— I thought it was hilarious. This was pre-politicized Sesame Street, and Bert and Ernie, they were a riot. Oscar the Grouch. I mean, I really know Sesame Street from then. I don't, I don't know.

I love looking back at non-political, just forms of fun. Like, okay, Sean, I'm sorry, I don't mean to create more work for you. Can you pull up the Frito Bandito commercial? Aye, aye, aye, aye. You know the Frito Bandito? I am the Frito Bandito. It's the, the Mexican.

Oh, today you'd be Arrested.

He was thrown off the air. He was a cartoon and he was kicked off in the '80s because you can't, you know, have a Mexican accent. I know. It was so funny.

It was hilarious. That's one of the reasons I really don't like the left is they're not real. They hate the real.

Well said.

It's a war against the real.

Yes. Well, I mean, literally in every way. Yes, in every way. The transgender movement, the police.

They are children. That's why I call leftists children, because they are, A, narcissistic, and B, they can't handle life. That's a very big factor in leftism— fear of reality. When I wrote my two-part series, it's on— my thousand columns are all on the internet. I have to live with what I've written in 1,000 columns aside from books, and I'm proud to, by the way. So about 15 years ago, I wrote a two-part column, When a Wife Is Not in the Mood, and it went sort of viral. My thesis was, which I think is about as down-to-earth, inoffensive as you can get. But in the world of a war on reality, I'll tell you what happened as a result. But my thesis was very simple. You're a happily married woman. You love your husband. He loves you. He treats you well. You're not in the mood to have sex. Nevertheless, don't let your mood be the only determinant. So sometimes, even if you're not in the mood, big deal. I love him, he loves me, and you know, let's go for it, Fred. Okay, so I didn't write Fred. That was it, that was it, that was the entirety. Understood that, you know, there are totally times she doesn't feel well, she has a headache, she worked crazy with the kids or at work. We understand all of that is in there. And that obviously it's her choice. I mean, whether it's, he can't force himself on her, that wasn't even implied. So in the, I think it was the Daily Kos, big gigantic left-wing site, at least then, I don't know if it is today, I think it is but I don't know. They write, Dennis Prager advocates marital rape. This became a meme on the left that I advocate marital rape. Now why would they write that? One, of course, because they smear all conservatives. Okay, that's fine. Par for the course for the left, but also because they couldn't handle the idea that a man might suggest to a woman, if you're not in the mood to make love, you might want to give it a try if you love him anyway. That is verboten. That is forbidden.

Well, I know just how much that pissed off the left, because when I was in college and I started doing Dennis and Julie with you. And even before that, I was on your show one summer weekly. So, so people knew about my association with you. And out of all of the things you've ever said in your career, that was the thing that was brought up the most to me.

Wow.

That and gay marriage, but more that than, than, than gay marriage, interestingly. And women, I mean, there, it was mostly, actually I should I can't remember. I'm sure a man brought it up, but it was mostly women, of course, that was saying, you know, this is a really awful position, and Dennis is advocating that, you know, women force themselves into something that isn't their choice. And, um, you're right, it's really nobody's—

by the way, they're right. I think you should force yourself when it's a good thing. I force myself to do good things all the time.

Right, but as you say, and it's, you know, it's at the end of the day, it's their choice.

Yes, of course.

And you never wrote in there that a man should— for, you know—

no, it's not even implied, let alone wrote it. And I don't think that way, right? But in order to lead a good life, you can't only do what you're in the mood to do. Why is that not obvious?

I force myself to work out sometimes.

Well, yes, exactly. That's exactly right.

Me too.

3 times a week. It's pure force. And, you know, there are things that I do for the family that, you know, I rather be listening to my audio equipment.

Right.

But, but, but so what?

Well, you're right that that leftism runs away from reality and they think that they can create a utopia where they're happier. But the further you run away from reality, the worse your life gets.

It catches up.

If you accept reality and strive to, you know, make the best of it, change things when you can, you're just a happier person. I cite this example all the time. Sometimes it's uncomfortable to talk about males' extreme, you know, sexual drive. Maybe if I were designing the world from scratch, I would have designed it, you know, a little tempered down, a little less, you know, intense. But I can't deny that that's the reality. And then the more, the more I understand it, the more I see that it's actually not so scary.

And the more that you never said that to me. Yeah, but I knew it would happen. Well, my— forgive me. No, my, my task in that arena is to— I've used this many times— defang male sexuality in women's eyes because it is— no, I— this I get, though I'm not a woman. When you first learn about male sexuality, it has to be scary.

It is.

There is no— totally.

Because we are so different.

Correct. That is exactly right. And then you realize it's sort of like when my older brother— I was about 11 and I said, you know, Kenny, I'm really— I get scared of monster movies on TV. So he said, what you should do is watch as many as possible until the monsters don't scare you. Don't scare you. And it worked the same with male sexuality.

Let me tell you part of the reason why it's less scary to me, because I have seen how denying it is actually scarier with hookup culture, which I saw on full display in college, where instead of acknowledging that women and men have different sexual proclivities, they try to run away from that reality, say that men— that women want promiscuous, frivolous, constant sex as much as men, and then women are just giving men exactly what they want with no commitment, and they're often doing it when they don't want to, but they feel like they have to.

That is so ironic.

It is so ironic. I've seen the evil of denying it. It actually exacerbates the— I don't know if it's a problem, but the reality that you're trying to run away from.

That's right.

If you just acknowledge that men and women have different sexual proclivities, each sex has to deal with that in a different way.

So a married man who loves her husband and he treats her beautifully, She should not at any time do what is not natural, which is have sex even though she's not in the mood. But an unmarried woman at college—

I know—

should do that constantly, do that, work against her nature.

It's empowerment. I mean, the whole thing is crazy.

It is.

Yes, you're right. You're so right that fundamentally leftism is anti-reality-based. But even also, if you look at— look, I'm not trying to paint all leftists with one broad brush, but most leftists I've met, they care so much about their affect. They care so much about appearing super woke and enlightened and conscious of feelings that it really is inauthentic, in addition to their positions not being rooted in reality.

Well, what is more real than men give birth?

Well, exactly. So if you don't mind, I want to go back a little bit. Is that okay?

Totally.

Oh, the Frito Bandito. Like me?

You do? Then you must sing the Bandito song. Let's sing together. You just follow the bouncing Fritos corn chips bag.

I am the Frito Bandito.

I like Fritos corn chips. I love them I do. I want Fritos corn chips, I'll get them from you. Aye, aye, aye, aye, oh, I am the Frito Bandito. Give me Fritos corn chips and I'll be your friend. The Frito Bandito you must not offend. Now boys and girls, you are Frito Bandidos too. You sing the Frito Bandito song and you're loco for crunchy Fritos Those corn chips, that's nice. Munchies. What year is that from?

'80s, I think. Or no, '70s.

No, no.

Yeah, I think so.

That late?

Haha.

What year? What year did he say? Sean, did you say?

He just nodded. So there's another commercial.

Wow, I thought it was like from the '50s. Wow.

There's another commercial where there's this—

by the way, what's wrong with that?

Nothing. It's hilarious. It's fun.

There are no— there are no Mexicans who have that type of accent. And what is wrong with that?

Well, Will Witt of PragerU did this. I think it's one of the best videos he's ever done where he put on a sombrero and a mustache and like, I don't know what it's called, the, you know, a bunch— it's almost like a quilt with a bunch of colors. I don't know. And he walked on UCLA's campus. And he was like, are you offended by this? And all these, you know, woke UCLA students are like, this is so awful. This is cultural appropriation. And then he went to like the downtown LA, like Mexican quarter, and he wore it, and there were Mexicans like that were high-fiving him and thought he was so funny. Yeah.

Well, it's like Latinx, right?

Well, exactly.

Yes. Latinos have contempt for that.

Yes, they do.

It's Anglo whites.

I know.

Who use it.

I would, if I could go back in time, I would advise people to not let the, because they took the Frito Bandito off the air, I think in 1981. That was the start of wokeism. That was the start of opening the floodgates. I would say, no, you're canceled. The Frito Bandito is here to stay.

Exactly.

I love that guy. Okay, going back, I just, we were talking about where, where, or what time period we would go to? You were saying a tavern during the American Revolution. I was saying Hester Prynne, Scarlet Letter, Puritan, Massachusetts era. I have also thought a lot about— I wish that I could become invisible and go to some other countries and just walk the streets. Like, I would really love to go to Iran, not as Julie, because I'd probably be thrown in jail immediately because I speak so poorly of Iran, with good reason. Terrible misogynistic government. And also, I probably wouldn't wear a hijab, so they would be done with me. But I would love to be able to see what reality is really like in other countries, even in China. I would love to go and just observe, right?

And know the language and know the language.

Imagine if you could go back in time, using Iran as an example, to life under the Shah. And see what that was like, you know, and then compare.

I was in Iran, uh, under the Shah.

No way!

Yeah, right before the revolution.

What was it like?

Well, I'll tell you in a moment. The— this will blow your mind. I flew from Tehran to Tel Aviv on El Al Airlines.

The fact that there was even a flight.

Of course. And he was completely pro-Israel. Iran was a— was pro-Israel, very pro-Israel. I— among the many little things of my life that I no longer own, that's one of my top 5, that I don't have that airline ticket. Oh my gosh, to Tel Aviv, Dennis Prager.

That would— that would sell for—

by the way, so needless to say, what did I do on the flight? I went to everyone who looked Persian and asked them, do you speak English? Virtually all did, not necessarily well, but spoke. Why are you going to Israel?

Oh, good question.

A very good question.

What did they say?

Virtually everyone, for medical treatment. And I would— and I remember thinking, does anybody in the world know this? How many people, how many Persian Muslims come to Israel to be treated. It's— there's so many important things that are unreported.

Yes. Well, what was I— now I'm doing it. You forgot earlier I had this point about— oh, oh yes. So I did a show on Timeless about Mustafa Kemal Atatürk because this, this year, 2023, marks 100 years since the Republic of Turkey was founded by Atatürk after the Ottoman Empire collapsed. And it's really interesting to see how similar the Shah of Iran pre-1979 was to Mustafa Kemal Atatürk, where they both were very pro-Western, but they were also quite anti-Islam. They both had, under Turkey and Mustafa Kemal Atatürk's time and under Reza Shah in Iran, they sent soldiers into the streets to like tear off the hijabs that women were wearing. They actually banned hijabs and other—

they banned the fez. Yes, Turkish hat.

But it's— how many people even know that? How many people even know that Iran, what was it, over 40 or 50 years ago was literally a photographic negative image of what it was today?

That's right.

How many people know about—

so when I was there, it was, it was as if I I was only in Tehran. That's important. Nevertheless, it was like being in a Western country.

I bet. How many people know that China 60 years ago was basically a backward agrarian peasant country and now it is totally eating our lunch, as Joe Biden would say, but he denies it.

Well, you could thank capitalism.

Yes.

I mean, there is nothing else that has lifted people out of poverty. Nothing. But the people who are anti-capitalist don't care about lifting people from poverty, which is another issue.

And I have another point to go back to something earlier we were discussing, and I'm going to credit this one to Astrid, who is this lovely Danish woman who has her own radio show in Denmark. Dennis met her and she's come to visit, but she left recently, sadly. You were talking about how it's a gift that we don't know what day we're going to die, and it's also a gift how we actually don't know if there's a God or if there's an afterlife. I think it makes the, the pursuit of trying to figure it out—

gives us free will, right? When are you freer to drive? When the, when the highway patrol or sheriff or policeman police car is right next to you on the highway or when you don't know whether there will be one. When are you free to drive as you want?

That's a really good analogy.

Perfect analogy. If you knew God were next to you, were watching everything— knew it, not, not believed it, knew it— you would have much less freedom.

Okay, can I pause before I tell you my point? You are really good with coming up with an— like the one you talked about, body odor, you know, with the fake it till you make it thing that you said, and then this one with God. How have you been able to do that?

I have no answer. That's the way I think. I think, what is it? Immediately I hear an idea and I picture— I, I think a lot in pictures, oddly enough. I picture an analogy.

I've been trying to do that, and, and I— but it's hard.

Yeah, well, it's hard to find it on the nose too. That's Look, it's a very interesting thing about how do you know when you have a gift. You don't know it until you realize others can't do it. That's really what a gift is. If everybody could do it, it's not a gift. Yep. I mean, there are people who could play piano unbelievably well. It's a gift. It's— they sit down at a piano and it comes to their fingers. So by the way, it's just Not for now, but it'd be a fun thing to discuss. Does everyone have a gift?

Oh, that's a great one.

It is a great one.

I'm gonna write that down.

And I, I think so. I have— I do too. The question is, do you find it?

Isn't it sad that some people don't think everyone has a gift and they might have one and then won't?

Oh, you mean about themselves?

Yes.

Yes, very sad.

I think you are more likely to realize/think that you have a gift if you're religious than if you're secular.

Really?

Yes. Because secular individuals think that we are just kind of a bundle of materialist, scientific input. And there's this weird, like, uniformity to human beings looking at the world that way. And I think if you have a religious worldview, you know that you're created in the image and likeness of God. You know that God's hand has touched you, to speak in a figurative way.

Well, that's sweet, but I don't know.

I think you do. I, I don't think secular people view human, human beings as preciously—

well, the vast majority of your Harvard fellow students are secular. I think a lot of them think they have gifts.

I think a lot of them probably think they don't even— there's a difference, actually. I think a lot of them think that they are gifted, but in a conventional way, like they're very smart and they're athletic. I think people have certain gifts of consciousness or personality or connection with other people. That some of my Harvard classmates may not be inclined to see in themselves or others because they're so focused on the conventional gifts of academics and sports and music. Anyway, back to Astrid. I just had to pause because you're so good at those analogies. So we were talking about how it's a gift that you—

You're so good at noting what is notable.

Well, thank you. Apropos, I have a show, Julie Noted. It's a segment of my time on the show.

There you go.

I'm just noting things. Okay, so it's a gift to not know if there's a God. There's— it's a gift to not know when you're going to die. I, I was speaking with Astrid about some of the gifts that we have in reality that we don't appreciate. You were actually talking about one of them on your show the other day, and I think you were kind of joking. You were saying gravity. You were saying you were talking about how people are ungrateful. And then you said that, that, that we should be grateful that we have gravity because life would be really hard. You know, we wouldn't be able to function if we didn't have it. And I know you're kind of saying it tongue in cheek, but it's, but it's true.

Totally true.

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Totally true.

So, and, and so I was talking with Astrid about that and then I was saying, we were, we were having a separate discussion and I said, it must be one of the worst things in the world to be at the end of your life and know that you're going to die and fear death. And we were saying, it's such a shame that in the United States we don't value our elders as much as we used to. We don't think we ought to call or visit our grandparents. We kind of throw away the elderly as people who don't matter and we should really, you know, honor and respect those people, especially because it must be so scary to realize that you're on the cusp of going somewhere else. And you know what Astrid said? And it's so true. She said, God has given us a weird gift, though, by having our constitution change, like our bodies change and actually decay, because that means at the end of your life, a lot of people are much less fearful of, of passing on.

Well, more ready to go.

Yes, more ready to go because they can't enjoy life the way that they used to.

That's right.

Anyway, I just, I like this. I like the thought that, that you and I are talking about, and I talked about with Astrid, that we, we don't even consider gifts of reality as gifts, and we would be happier if we appreciated that God designed the world this way.

Yeah, the, the, the whole thing. The whole thing. I mean, all of life. This is a— this I didn't know in high school. I didn't— I would, I would say I didn't even know this at 40. Everything is a choice. The reason I learned it is because of the left. The left— marriage, for example. You've heard now the song "Love and Marriage Go Together." You introduced it to me. Yes, I know. I know that. This is from the '50s. So I grew up thinking you get married. Not that you have a choice not to. You have a choice whom to. But not whether. It wasn't a choice. That's what you did. A man got married. A man took care of a family. It was definitional. It wasn't a choice. The left has made everything into a choice. Oh, you don't have to get married. You don't have to have children. There are no shoulds, you know, the old thing. So Every, everything is a choice. You— and here, by the way, I, I had many discussions with my Christian friends, and God knows how many Christian friends I have.

God does know.

Yes, he does. And this started when I, on my first radio show, Religion on the Line, because I had a rabbi, a priest, a minister, different ones each week for 10 years. So that's a lot of people to talk to about religion. So most of the Christians, most of the Catholic priests and the Protestant pastors, their position was that faith is a gift from the Holy Spirit, was the way they would often put it. And I never agreed with them. It is true that for some people it is a gift, that they don't have to work at it. I have to work at it. I've always had to work at it, and successfully. I truly believe in God, but I, I worked to believe, and I have scriptural bases about you're working to come to faith. People— this is ironic— that many religious people and many non-religious people agree you either believe or you don't believe. The non— the secular sort of believe that if you don't have a road to Damascus moment where God comes to you, as it were, then that's it. I believe you choose. I always tell whenever I meet an agnostic, you know what I say? Okay, you're an agnostic. Do you live as a believer or an atheist? Oh, you can't, you can't live as an agnostic. You either live as a believer—

it's really—

or as an atheist.

That's like what you ask the atheist: do you hope you're wrong?

Yes. Exactly. Do you hope you're right or wrong? Wow. But every agnostic lives, lives like an atheist. Hmm. You know, they, they— because they don't lead a religious life. Now, but let me put it this way. Every non-Jewish— I, I know Jewish agnostics who lead a religious life because Judaism is so behavioral Where your mind is is secondary to where your behavior is. This is a big controversy that I won't get into now that I got into involuntarily.

I think people know the controversy by now.

Right, yes. But I, I have led a life of choices. I chose to get married. I chose to have children. I was so adamant about children that when my late wife could not conceive, I said, so let's adopt. Which for me, to this day, is a non-issue. As you know, blood schmudd is my view of blood. I don't care if I'm blood related to you. And I have so many proofs. We ought to do, we should definitely do, did we not do a blood schmudd We talked about adoption and abandonment issues, but we haven't. Oh, no, but not blood schmud. Good, because I can convince anybody.

Blood schmud.

Yes, I can. I know I can convince anybody that blood is less important than they think.

Can I pause for a moment? I agree with you. You have been one of the people— you have been the person who has convinced me. I don't know if I would say blood schmud, but you've convinced me that blood Certainly doesn't always.

I could convince you much more.

Well, let me—

but I won't say—

let me tell you how you may contradict yourself a little bit.

Yeah.

You just posted a magnificent fireside chat that I watched because I watch you a lot, where you talked about how it's a travesty that people don't speak to their parents.

Yes.

One of the Ten Commandments, as you know, honor your father and mother. I think there's an element in that is that you you ought to honor and respect the people who you are blood related to. Because really, that's what your father and mother are. They're, they're people who you are blood related to. I guess not in the case of, of Aaron and you, right?

But that's not insignificant.

It's not insignificant.

So does honor your father and mother apply to my adopted son?

Of course. But I'm saying one of the components of, I think, why God wants us to honor our father and mother is that we, we, we have a familial tie to them in addition to The fact that they raided?

Yes. Okay. So I don't have a proof that you're wrong, even though I— you— there's probably— it's probably true to a certain extent. But I have a sort of argument from the Bible itself, from the Torah itself.

Okay.

Well, it comes from the Torah and it's Jewish tradition. Who saved Moses when he was in a little, little tiny boat, so to speak, right? When Pharaoh ordered—

Are you quizzing me?

Yeah, well, I'm not quizzing you. I was— I— because I was so sure you knew that the daughter of Pharaoh—

it's okay, I don't know Exodus as back and forth as I know Genesis.

Right. I, I should never assume because I know this by heart.

It's fine. Yeah, but makes me better.

Okay, you do believe that, to your credit.

Yeah.

So Pharaoh ordered all Hebrew baby boys drowned in the Nile. Moses is born and his mother puts him in a little— I don't know what the English word is. The Hebrew word is the same as Noah's Ark. Interesting. So I make a point in my commentary. So he's put in, just like the world was saved with Noah's Ark, the Jews were saved with Moses' Ark as a baby. Basket, yeah, yeah, basket. That's the way we say it in English. He's put in a little basket and floated on the Nile. Who saves him? The daughter of Pharaoh. And she knew, oh, obviously it's a Hebrew because why would he be floating on the Nile? His mother tried to save his life. Okay, do you know that Jewish tradition— this even blew my mind— regards the daughter of Pharaoh as Moses's mother? That's mind-blowing. That's cool, because she saved him and raised him.

That's, that's very cool.

Very cool.

And I think I just— the reason why I wouldn't say blood schmud is that I don't think it's just that blood is trivial and doesn't matter. I think the Torah affirms and holds that, you know, blood isn't the only connector, that, you know, Moses's mother can be someone who he is not biologically related to. But I still think that you— I still think that God would want you to look out for your own. Let me give you an example from my own life. Gina, Gina's not my daughter. Gina's my sister. For those who don't know, I have a severely autistic older sister and I am her conservator. So when my parents die, I am, I basically inherit her as essentially my child. And, you know, I want to protect Gina. I love her. She adds a lot to my life. I adore her beyond words and I will always look out for her, but I can't lie that one of the reasons why I will look out for her is that she's my sister. I wouldn't take it as a responsibility of mine to look out for another autistic girl if she weren't my sister.

Correct. So the only question is if she were your sister, because your parents adopted her.

Oh, I would do that too.

Yeah, I know.

Oh, I would.

That's, that's all my point. Part of my blood schmutz argument is I've asked people, so you're going to be stuck on an island for 6 months. Do you want to be with a friend or a relative?

Well, that's totally true.

Okay, so that's big.

Can I give you another example of the importance?

We would die for our family, but we live for our friends.

That's a good one.

Pragerism.

That belongs on a t-shirt.

Exactly.

Uh, my mom has a napkin that says, friends are God's way of apologizing for family, or something like that.

That is hilarious.

Okay, another example of the importance of blood: Judaism.

Yeah, what about—

you need to promulgate, you know, keep— there are so few Jews and bloodline really matters, right? And you—

but, but Judaism also did the opposite. You could not convert to be an Egyptian. You could, you could, you could, you could, you could only convert to, uh, to being a Jew in the ancient world. Then of course Christianity, but Christ— Christians were not a nation. Jews were a nation. You could convert to being a Jew, non-blood. The Messiah will come in both for Christ, the second coming, or the first indeed, but for Jews, the Messiah will come from a convert. Ruth, how's that?

Middle name.

There are no words. I found you're talking to invisible Dennis more moving.

I, I can't believe that.

That's a very big deal, that the Messiah will come. The Jewish belief, that is, the Messiah will come from the descendant of a convert. There I In my Blood Schmud presentation, that is one of the proof texts, as it were, that I use. And the simple one, you know, if you were stuck on an island, very few people would choose a relative. By the way, that's—

So true.

Yes, it is true. And because that's— everyone has a role. Relatives have a role and friends have a role. But remember, you choose friends, you don't choose relatives, so it makes perfect sense. But here's not an insult to your relatives.

Here's the thing though, society— and I totally agree with you, I would probably choose a friend over a relative if I were on a desert island. I think that non-blood ties are, are hugely important and essential, a la adoption. However, I don't think society would function if we didn't think that we had a certain allegiance above others to our bloodline. Imagine if parents— yes, imagine if parents thought, oh well, it doesn't matter that they're my biological kids, uh, you know, I like that kid better, I'm gonna, right, invest more in that kid than my own.

For those for whom that is, is a need, I think that that's— and I'm not saying that patronizingly, it's a good point to end. That's, that's good. But we'll do a blood spot thing. It's It's an extremely interesting thing.

And I'm very obviously, I'm so pro-adoption, which so many people would not expect of you. I feel like you need to publicize that more. There are so many parts of your life that people would not— they would think that, as I say, you are this nuclear family absolutist because you're this conservative.

My wife and I are godparents to a gay couple.

That's another one.

And also, how many people know that? Or And the amazing thing is, even if they know it, though, it doesn't matter. See, the left judges thought more than behavior. That I treat gays as— yes, no differently than anyone else.

That is so right.

Is unimportant because I think marriage is between a man and a woman.

Yep. Well, another final example I'll give is I was watching one of As I say, I watch you a lot. I was watching one of your YouTube videos about men and women, and I guess maybe you were saying something that pissed off some feminists, and someone wrote, Prager must be married to a Stepford Wife, docile. And I, I looked at that comment, I went, oh my gosh, they have no idea how wrong—

the stuff written about me out there. Well, it's so conjecture.

Let me tell you, I have the honor of knowing Sue Prager. Sue Prager is not a Stepford Wife docile person. She is— she'll tell you how she feels.

There are very few males that are as strong as she. Oh yeah, there's no question.

Oh, oh, absolutely, that's correct. But she's quite feminine.

That's right, she's perfect. What was Mr. Snuffleupagus's first name? Sean asks.

You're like an interrogator.

The important things that come through these earphones— he didn't have a first name. He did. Dennis? No. Sean?

Zach? Rick?

You're— Rachmiel?

Alejo? Tony? Uh, Beryl?

Excuse me, Aloysius. Aloysius Nephilopagus. I love it. He's entering Prager territory. I love names.

Maybe I need to watch Sesame Street. I don't— I don't understand.

That is truly— if somebody were to ask me, what is the most surprising thing about you that no one knows, I now have an answer. I know everything about Sesame Street.

And you watched it when you were in graduate school? Every day before before leaving, uh, as you were writing your, your Why the Jews book?

Yeah.

So no, but I do that. I was reading the other night Modern Times by Paul Johnson, which is a really heavy book, and then I was like, you know, I'm done. And then I turned on the Kardashians. I'm the same way.

No, you have to do—

of course, that I go from extremely highbrow to extremely lowbrow.

So that's, that's worthy of its own discussion. It Wait, the Kardashians is not Real Housewives. That's totally separate.

Yeah.

Okay. I've never seen the Kardashians. I have seen Real Housewives, which the only reason that I'm surprised you love it, although I may have an explanation and then we'll end, is I totally get, you know, tune out not intellectually elevated stuff. I totally get it. But I tuned in— so for example, if you watched, uh, what is it, um, when, when they're abandoned on an island? Survivor. If you watch Survivor, make perfect sense to me. But when I watched Real Housewives, I think once, my hotel room, and I thought, I can't endure this. I would have preferred to stare at the ceiling and think. The conversation was so vapid. So I have an explanation.

Okay.

How does one of the deepest human beings I know, Julie Hartman, enjoy the vapidness of Real Housewives? So I have an answer. Women, the female part of you— oh yes, their, their discussions in some way fascinate you. Yeah, that's the answer.

That is the answer. There's a huge female—

I can't imagine men watching Real Housewives.

What's a male TV show, like a trashy male thing that people would watch? I'm sure there is one.

That's an interesting question.

Most people who watch Real Housewives are women.

Sean watches trash. Sean, what? Pro wrestling?

Yeah, I can't relate. I can't relate to wanting to watch pro wrestling.

That's the best.

It's so— it's so—

no, no, no. It's vile. I love wrestling. Okay. Oh, pro wrestling is theater. And that's all you need to know. I don't think there's anything real except they are in good shape because they get bounced on the ground a lot.

Oh, that's for sure. By the way, okay, sorry, I know we keep having to end. Cauliflower ear, do you know what that is?

It's if you get punched in the ear a lot. Your boxers get that.

I never knew that was a thing. I saw some guy with it the other day.

Really?

He said he was a boxer. I didn't want to be rude, but he had it, and I— so I went home.

Well, Zach on our staff of 14 people who make this possible He, he, uh, he boxes.

I don't know if there's 14, but we can go with that.

He does what? Kickboxing. Yes, exactly.

How can people reach me?

By going on Hinge.

Oh, and that's the surest way not to reach me.

That was a good one. I answered your question. And you don't like the answer.

Yeah, go to Hinge Los Angeles and you'll see me.

Okay.

Anyway, Julie at julie-hartman.com. You can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Julie R. Hartman. And you can follow Dennis now on Instagram, right, Dennis? We can follow you on Instagram. What's your Instagram? We went over this.

We did.

Yes, you have an Instagram. It's at the Dennis Prager.

Yes, because it's the Dennis Prager. The— that Dennis is my middle name. My parents named me The.

Mark is a good middle name, isn't it, Mark?

Yes, but why is it good?

It's not— no, it's not Gordon.

Sorry, I never ever use it. It's not on any of my credit cards. It's not on my license.

Okay, only on your Wikipedia.

No, it's Yeah, Wikipedia did it.

That's how I know.

Yes.

No, Denmark. You're Denmark. That's what's cool about it.

Yes. My grandmother called me Denmark.

Denmark.

Yes. Okay. I always thought of Denmark.

I was like, you can DM.

DM.

DM is direct message.

Oh, yeah.

You can see you can DM Prager at the Dennis Prager on Instagram.

So here's this. My initials are DP. Department of Police, Department of Parks, double play, displaced person.

I'm happy for you.

You probably are, but this is not the reason.

Good note to end on after trying to end for 7 minutes. Bye everyone, we'll see you soon. You can catch Dennis and Julie every Monday on this channel. Shalom.

Your beloved dog and a stranger are both drowning. You can only save one. Who do you save? Every time Dennis Prager asks that question, his audience splits three ways. One-third chooses the dog, one-third chooses the stranger, and one-third aren't sure.

Why?

Because we live in an age where increasingly feelings define right and wrong. But if morality is based on emotion, then murder, rape, and theft are just opinions. And if people feel justified, why is rioting or destruction wrong at all? In his new book, If There Is No God, Dennis Prager explains why civilizations cannot survive without objective morality and why Judeo-Christian values shape the The moral foundations of the free world.

If you claim that certain things are good, certain things are evil, independent of how you feel about it, you are in effect affirming God.

If There Is No God by Dennis Prager, available now at PragerStore.com. That's PragerStore.com.