Derek McGowanLoan Officer / Owner, McGowan Mortgages · Branch Manager & Top-Ranked Mortgage Advisor

I Did $140 Million... and Hated My Life

24 Jun 2026 · 1 min

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In this excerpt from his YouTube video, Derek McGowan reflects on the personal cost of scaling his lending business to $140 million in 2020 through 400 loans. Despite the financial success, he describes feeling miserable, operating as a "one‑man band" tied to his laptop, and being stuck on a hamster wheel with no end in sight. He contrasts a true business—one that can run without its founder—with being merely a high‑paid employee of his own company, emphasizing the need for an exit or light at the end of the tunnel. The segment ends with him hinting at a "wild idea" he pursued to escape this situation.

Chapters

I was miserable. I was kind of— and in 2020, for example, did 400 loans, did like $140 million. At one point in my life before I would have considered that success, being at that little peak there, it was far from it because it was a one-man band. I was miserable. I was kind of a shell of myself. And whatever people might see on social media, I mean, in all transparency, that other picture is literally what it really was on the other side. It was, I'm tied to a laptop, I can't do anything, and I never could get off the hamster wheel. I didn't see an end in sight. Business should hopefully be kind of running without you ideally, but the goal has to be you have to have an end in sight. You have to see light at the end of the tunnel. It stops when you walk away. It's not really a business. You're just an employee, high-paid employee of your business. So the difference between a job and a business is it just has to run without you. So I had a wild idea.