Awkward at First - Unconscious Incompetence

Most people spend their entire life stressed without ever giving a single thought as to what it is they really want or what's important to them. See, I'm here to cut through all that noise, connecting you to yourself and the life that you were meant to live. I used to slave away at a corporate job that I hated, but I broke through the social norms and pursued my passion. As a result, I own my own coffee company, I'm espresso sommelier, and I get to travel the world. You, too, can live a life that you love, but it starts with getting clear about what you want. It starts with a new decision. I'm your host, Donnie Rouse. You are listening to the podcast One Life. Awkward at first. Everything we do is awkward at first in the sense that we might have this passion, this, like, this burning desire to start something. But then once we started, we quickly realize that, wait a minute, there are some skills, some things I need to know that I don't know yet or that I'm not competent with. So at the beginning of it, this unconscious incompetence is what it is, because we go out at something fueled by passion. But then we realize that, wow, there's a lot of stuff that we don't know. There's a large gap, and as a result, we fall into that gap. The goal then is to come out the other side, to learn the lessons that we need to learn, to learn the skills that we need to learn, so that it becomes unconscious. Unconscious competence. Sorry. So let me ask you a question. Think of something that you were. You started with this, like, very burning desire to do, but then shortly after maybe taking that first step, you gave it up. Why did you give it up? What did you think the process was going to be? Did you give up because it was too challenging? Do you think it was because it was too difficult? And then what would have happened if instead of giving up, you just wrote it out? What if, instead of giving up, you learned whatever it was you needed to learn? You came out the other end. How would that have changed your life? My nephew slept over, and I woke up and he was at the computer and he was drawing something from Minecraft. And as he was drawing this little box figure, he started to get really frustrated, and he's like, oh, I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this. So I'm like, what's wrong, Cruz? What can't you do? And he was trying to draw a rectangle with another little box that was kind of like, overlaid but you couldn't see the corner of the box because it almost looked like it was stuck in the rectangle. And he just kept saying, I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this. But moments earlier, he was very enthusiastic about this drawing. So I said, cruz, stop saying you can't do this. He's like, I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this. Then I said, look, I took a sheet of paper, I drew a giant rectangle. I said, cruz, it'll help if you make it bigger. So this way, if you make it really, really big, at least you can see what you have to do. And then we can make it small. So I made it big, and I showed him how to do it. And then shortly after watching me, he went down to, like, the little. The little character he was drawing and did the exact box that he was having trouble with just moments earlier. So what happened? Right, so he had, you know, it's not that he couldn't do it. He was watching a video. He was literally mirroring the steps this guy was taking and then making this figure on a piece of paper. But when it came to something that was challenging, he just kept incanting to himself that he couldn't do it. But when I made it big and I made it simple, I literally just showed him. All of a sudden, he said, okay, well, I can do this. And he did it. Moments later, he looked at the completion of his figure, and he looked at the one that was example and was just like, I don't like this. It doesn't look anything like it. And we're trying to. My sister and I were trying to give him, say, crude. Listen, this is your first time doing it. You're going to get better as you go. You have to give it time. You have to give it practice. I bet you the next time you do it, it's going to be even better. And then he continued to. He cut up one of the figures that he did. And the other one he must have liked because he saved that one. That one was colored in. So he, like, cut it around it and made, like a paper figure out of it. But how true is that of life in terms of how we live? Think about the things that we stop doing because they become a little bit challenging for us. But if we only just push through, if we only learn the things that we need to learn, go through the discomfort of learning those things, that we could come out the other end and all of a Sudden things just become easy. Think of anything in your life right now, like tying your shoe. Anything in your life that was once difficult, where you had to put so much attention towards it. Now it's second nature. Like I said, tying your shoe. When you first started tying your shoe, you're focusing so hard on creating the bow, wrapping it around, pulling it through, and now you can do it with your eyes closed. It reminded me of a lesson. I was doing some accounting work and I majored in finance. But I would be lying if I said that I really enjoyed doing my accounting. As I was sitting there trying to look at the books, I just like, I was pretty much incanting the same thing. I can't do this. I can't do this. This sucks. And even using worse language than that, as a result, I was like having a real hard time with something that was literally just basic. All I really had to do was just slow down, go through the numbers to reconcile, and double check against what I had, a computer versus what was on my bank statement. Not rocket science at all. I don't do the reconciliation that often. So as a result, when I have to navigate and go into my computer, it's kind of a pain in the ass, to be honest with you. But if I had just done the consistency, it would be easier rather than waiting maybe twice a year to start doing these reconciliations and inputting all these numbers. And that's a small example. I mean, my business is another one. When I think about my business, I mean, there is anyone who started a business. There are huge gaps you must fill in order to come out the other side. You have to learn marketing, you got to learn sales, you got to learn how to manage people. There's a million things, a million that you probably didn't anticipate when you were just starting out. But if you come out the other end now all of a sudden, all those things that were once challenges, once problems become easy, and you go on to tackle new problems, new things that arise. Let's bring this back to your life. You may know exactly what it is you want, and you may take one step, you may follow that inkling towards that desire, that dream, the passion, whatever it is you have. But upon taking that first step, you take another step back because you realize that it's scary, it's unknown, right? You don't know how to start that YouTube channel and set it up so this way you have a million subscribers. You don't know how to edit the videos. I'm using something in my own life. Because this is something I'm actually getting into right now. But all the answers are out there. If you would only just take the time and work through the discomfort, I, I promise you will come out the other end. So let's look at this right, let's bring this back and let's do some homework. What is one aspect, one thing that you maybe were passionate about but you didn't end up doing because it just seemed too difficult? Write it down. What was it that was so difficult and what was your expectation of that? Next? Was that an honest expectation? I mean, is it fair to say that, oh, we're going to be good at everything the first time we try it? Not at all. Next. What if you just push through? What if you just said, devoted the time to figuring out the thing you needed to figure out to learn the thing you needed to learn? How would that change the way you looked at whatever this task was? And after it's become second nature, what would that do to your confidence in doing it and performing the task again? This is going to be something that we bounce, we hit against in every aspect of life. Your fitness, if you want to, you know, lose, put on 20 pounds of muscle, whatever it is, there are thresholds. There are things you have to learn. You have to learn the technique, how to work out properly, otherwise you're gonna get injured. There are. You have to learn how to meal prep, how to diet, how to make sure you're getting the right macros in all these things that you have to set out for if you want to achieve that goal. One of the reasons why I like doing physique contests or doing something, something to have an aim, because I realize it's gonna require more of me. So that is all I've got for you guys today. And again, this applies to every single aspect of your life, every aspect. If you enjoyed this podcast, please give it a thumbs up. Subscribe to the podcast. So this way you don't miss a single episode because it is the culmination of all these little episodes. Reminding yourself what you're made for, what you are here for and the like. Just again, just the overhearing it over and over and over, that's what's going to embed in your system. Because we want to positively reinforce the good things, our desires. This kind of like this knowledge that, yes, we're on the right path and it takes time. Nothing happens instantaneously, nothing worthwhile. So be patient with yourself, focus on bringing positive things into your life and watch what happens if you enjoyed this podcast again, please subscribe. Hit the subscribe button. Share it with your friends who you think might benefit from listening to this. As always guys, I thank you so so much for tuning in because I realize you could be putting your attention you're watching anything else here but you chose to do it here with me and to better yourself. Hopefully that it makes a difference in your day and in your life because you only get one life so make sure you live it. God bless guys. Thank you so so much. If you have any questions, comments, please feel free to reach out to me via my website www.donnyrouse.com d o n n y r-a dash.com and lastly, if you like amazing coffee to start your day and to really create that ritual, visit donnyrouse.com and just click on the coffee menu item and you can purchase Rouse coffee there. God bless guys. Thank you so much and I will see.