Be Underwhelmed - How to Overcome Overwhelm

Most people spend their entire life stressed without ever giving a single thought as to what it is they really want or what's important to them. See, I'm here to cut through all that noise connecting you to yourself and the life that you were meant to live. I used to slave away at a corporate job that I hated, but I broke through the social norms and pursued my passion. As a result, I own my own coffee company, I'm espresso sommelier, and I get to travel the world. You, too, can live a life that you love, but it starts with getting clear about what you want. It starts with a new decision. I'm your host, Donnie Rouse, and you are listening to the podcast One Life. Hi, guys. Donnie Rouse here. And today we are going to talk about Overwhelm. This post here is going to piggyback on the last live that I did just because I had some more time to kind of put some thought into it. Exactly one, how I was feeling over this past week as I was in Overwhelm, but also how to approach it. So this way, you erase the overwhelm, and you actually come up with a strategy to move forward and you move back into your joyful life. So let's talk about overwhelm. Like, what does it feel like when you're in overwhelm? From my own experience, overwhelm, to me, felt like it was like trying to scale Everest. I feel like the smallest of tasks felt like I was scaling Everest. Right? I would have done those tasks easy in the past, but now, all of a sudden, something like, it's like, oh, man, I got to switch my password for my bank account. Oh, my God. You know, the smallest things were, like, just kind of stretched out, and they've just felt very heavy. And I didn't know that I was in overwhelm until a friend brought it to my attention. So before we even go any further, let's see where you are right now. Like, if you're. If you saw the title of this video and you're like, oh, my God, I'm overwhelmed, then chances are you are in the right spot. But first, what are all the things you have going on in your life right now? Right? Make a list of it. Because there's a quote I had heard Tony Robbins say. He goes in your head, you're dead. Meaning as long as these things are floating around your head, like, three items could seem like 3 million items, because you're literally just cycling through the same thing over and over. Put it down on paper, and then all of a sudden, now you have a tangible list that you can focus on. Secondly, acknowledge the complexity, like acknowledge how much, if you're taking on a lot, give yourself credit and a little bit of grace to say, wow, you know what, there is a lot here and maybe it's a little bit too much. And I've been just, you know, I've been putting a lot of pressure on myself and you know, I need to just kind of take a step back and then where are you applying the pressure? A lot of time it's not the external world that is applying the pressure. It is you and I applying it to ourselves. And if we see where that pressure and what the need that is trying to be met from that, then we can just kind of take it away. And the last thing is, well, the second to last thing is one is what's the next thing? What is the one big thing that you need to get out of the way and just start working on one item out of it, out of at a time, or at least delegating a large portion of time to knocking that one thing out before moving on to the next. And the last thing is given to yourself. I mean, that's something regardless of where you are overwhelmed or not. Like you should always be given to yourself because in doing that you kind of bring more peace into your life and it just makes the whole experience of life more joyful. So let me share you a story about my overwhelm. So in the past like few weeks, and it's kind of like it was a build up, I have been trying to do quite a bit on my schedule. To give you an idea of what exactly that is. Talking to consultants to grow my cold Roman divergence, scale it to nationwide. Moving to Miami, planning that move for the winter, my trip to Asia that I have coming up this October. So in two weeks I'm going to Hong Kong, Taipei and Seoul. I'm trying to remember, like I have a list here, talking to consultants. We're doing my One Life course. I'm creating a course to teach the One Life blueprint that I use. And then also just on top of that, then I have, you know, my responsibilities for Rouse Coffee. The brewing of cold Roman, which takes three days a week, two days at the market. And if you're not, if you're not like, oh my God, okay, how's he doing any of this? That's the funny question is I wasn't asking myself that question. I was trying to cram all that in. And then I was getting anxious and I was getting Frustrated and feeling like I was insufficient because I wasn't getting shit done. When the. When the reality is, if you look at all the things that I had lined up in my week, like, nobody could do it, right? And to add salt to the wound, like, I wasn't trying to, like, say, okay, let me get this one here first, and let me do that, and then let me do that. I was trying to do it all at once, right? I was like, all right, let me put this hat on for, you know, the first hour of the day, then put that hat on. And I was switching roles, meaning I was going from one task to the other. And then because a lot of the tasks weren't on my own time schedule, meaning, like, talking to consultants, like, I had to move around a schedule to accommodate their schedule, it just left everything fragmented. And as a result, I mean, I'm almost going back into the state listening to it, but I just felt like I couldn't handle the smallest of tasks. I was on a call with my accountability buddy and my coach, and they both echoed the same thing, which was kind of funny. And because I guess I knew that, you know, I'm always like, I was always the achiever, like, charge break through that wall. And my accountability crew, like, the two people in there were like, yeah, like, you're trying to do a lot right now. Like, you're a little bit aggressive, and that's a habit of yours. I noticed that you try to do a lot more than is physically possible. I will say in most cases, I have followed through until I get burnt out, but. And then I was talking to my coach, and she said the same exact thing. She's like, yeah, that's a habit of yours. Like, you're an overachiever. You're trying to do too much. And when they. When they called me out on that, I was a little. I was surprised, first of all, because I, you know, I. I was Thought I was just like, kind of charging. Charging forward and kind of like leading the. Being a trailblazer, leading the path on how to get shit done. And, you know, they saw that pattern in me, and I wasn't acknowledging that pattern. And after that, I went out to dinner with one of my best friends, my friend Cynthia. What's up, Cynthia? I'll give you a little shout out here. And no one. Like, we had never even put the title overwhelm on the emotional experience that I was in. And I was just like. We were celebrating her birthday, and I'm like, oh, my God. I literally. I'm like, all right, you know, this is her day. Oh, God. And then. But you know what good friends are for. They remind you of the good in you. They remind you of what you're capable of. They remind you of that higher self. So she's one of those people that does that for me. And thank you, Cynthia. But I was explaining everything that was going on, all my concerns, and I was probably jumping from, like, task to task, thing to thing, and she's like, oh, my God, you're an overwhelm. And it had never occurred to me that I was feeling overwhelmed because I, you know, it's like depression, right? I don't use the word depression. If I ever am, like, hint, like, thinking about using the word, I refrain from it. Because I believe once you acknowledge or give name to a state, now all of a sudden you're giving power to that, so you don't want it. You have to be very careful as to where you put your energy, right? If you're like, oh, I'm depressed, you don't want to give that energy into that state, because chances are you're not depressed all the time. I have an old friend of mine not to sidetrack, but he would always say he was depressed, depressed, oppressed. And if you look at this, I mean, his. His emotions scale was like, he felt everything in a given day. And. But there were also times when he was at extreme low, and he identified with this state. And as a result, that was always the state he kind of magnetized to him. So we have to be conscious of our language. So back to the overwhelm. So when she put that in perspective, you know, like, then, now I, like, it was like the magic triad, right? Like, three people brought this to my attention. And I thought about everything. I was like, yeah, oh, my God. You know, I never occurred to me that I was feeling overwhelmed. Like, prior to that, I was literally wanting to escape everything. I wanted to escape, like, you know, like, my business. I was like, no, I don't care. I don't care if I do this anymore. I don't want to do anymore. I don't want to do this. I don't want to do that. I was literally, you know, I wanted to let everything go because it just. The burden of everything just felt so heavy. But once I realized that, well, oh, wow, like, no, I was feeling overwhelmed all of a sudden. It took sudden that burden off because. Right. Because if you're feeling overwhelmed, there's an easy formula, right? There's a reason why you're Feeling overwhelmed. It's not because you're inadequate or insufficient. It's because you're doing something that is causing the overwhelm and looking at all those things. And my coach was good about this too. Just acknowledging the scale and the grandosity of what it was I was trying to accomplish. Like, you know, who the frig tries to build a national business, a beverage business nonetheless, which is one of the hardest. And you know, while launching a course, while moving to a new place, while planning a trip to eight. Like, who does that? Who does that? Sounds silly me telling you this now, but I was doing that. And so once I gave myself the grace to be like, okay, well, this pressure, I'm applying this pressure onto myself. And then so Cynthia was like, well, why, like, what is it that. Why do you feel like you have to do all this? Why, you know, why was I being so hard pressed to meet these self imposed deadlines? And the key word there was self imposed because like I say, well, once I commit to something, I must follow through. And if I didn't follow through, if I didn't meet that deadline, then I felt like it wasn't enough. I felt like I had let myself down. And then all of a sudden, any kind of follow up thereafter, it felt very difficult because I'm like, oh, I let myself. I didn't make this deadline. And then realizing that, you know what, there is no one with the stopwatch timing, this journey, saying, you have to have this done by this time. And so realizing that a lot of the pressure was self imposed allowed me to let some of it go as well. But, you know, I had to address why I was thinking that in the first place. And you know, again, the thought of not being enough because I wasn't making this really stupid deadline that was like impossible to do anyways because, you know, all the other things going on in my life. So by putting that, you know, now all of a sudden I'm like, all right, let me push these things out. And my friend Cynthia's like, well, what's the one most important thing that you feel like it's weighing down? Like taxes. I got to do my taxes. So she said, all right, well, just focus on that one. Don't focus on what you have to do tomorrow. Just get that one thing done and then move on to the next. It remind me of a damn Dave Ramsey when he talks about people getting out of debt. He goes, start with the biggest nut, like the biggest debt you have. Work that off, keep paying little bit, little. And then slowly Move on to the smaller ones. And then once you do that in, pretty soon you'll have more resources to put towards each one thereafter. And then before you know it, you're debt free. So it's same, same thing here. So now I am, you know, I'm working through that and it feels much lighter. But there's another component that I want to add here that was extremely important and especially in my mood today and why I'm on here. And it's reminding yourself of the vision you have for your life. You've heard me talk about, like the One Life blueprint. I'll be posting a link to that so you can actually look at what the framework is. But in a nutshell, it is just having a vision for your life. And so this morning when I woke up, you know, I felt a little bit out of it. I was like, oh, God, man, I just feel I didn't sleep well. I was like going in and out of dreams, which is another thing. Cynthia, thank you. Telling me to write down my dreams. Now all of a sudden, every five minutes I'm like waking up. I'm like, oh, dream, dream, dream. But so I didn't feel rested. And as a result of not really feeling rested, I was just like, I was like, I just don't feel in the mood for anything. But then I woke up early and then I went back to sleep, took a short nap, and then when I woke back up, I was just feeling that little bit of that funk a little bit better because I had just gotten another 20 minutes of sleep. And then I was like, what do I do? Let me go to my vision. Let me remind myself of what it is that I am going after, why I'm doing all of this in the first place. So with my vision, like, you know, I don't, I don't focus on the. My entire life. I'll pick categories for. So for today, I chose to focus on the category of my emotions and how I wanted to live each day, how I wanted to show up to the people around me. And as a result of reviewing this vision, the reasons why I want to show up the way I show up in the day, as well as my beliefs around that. All of a sudden now it, it gave me a different focus and now I am, I. It changed the way I'm even. I can't even, I'm not going to go. And this is a whole nother tangent. But even the amount of time I'm about to spend right now going through reconciliations for my, for my QuickBooks. This small shift in how I'm looking at that now, I mean, it's. I've never thought in a million years I would say this, but I'm actually looking forward to doing my accounting. I never, never in a million years would you ever hear me say that. I, I did corporate finance in college and then I worked in accounting for. And I vowed never to ever go back and do that stuff again, but here I am, but I'm looking forward to it. And it all became, it was all because it just a shift in my perception, a shift of why I was doing it. And that's how powerful having a clear vision and purpose, as well as, you know, the strategy, the beliefs can be for your life. So let's tie it up with a pretty bow. You're feeling overwhelmed. If you're feeling in a state of overwhelm, first let's write down all the things that are fluttering through your mind, right? Because again, if we can't put it on paper, like as long as it's in your mind, one item could feel like it's a thousand items and it's just because you're repeating the same thing over and over. Get it on paper. So this way you could actually start to make a, a plan of action to how to tackle each item. And you could also rank them, say, oh, what needs to be done? First, what is this thing that's weighing me down? Secondly, acknowledge the grandosity of it. Acknowledge just how complex your life really is. Right? Like if you're, this could be, I mean, drive the, the point even further. If you're a parent. I don't know how parents do it. I don't have any kids, but I have the utmost respect for parents because, you know, the kids, children need so much attention. And so to have all the things, if you're, if you're keeping a home, if you have your own business on top of having children, I applaud you. Third is just to acknowledge where are you applying the pressure, right? Maybe it's like, you know, what, oh my God, you're, let's go back to that, the, the mother thing, right? You have kids, you have your business doing this, you're trying to manage a house. But maybe you're beating yourself up because you didn't get to do all the beds, right? You're like, oh my God, my kids are going to come home, the beds are not made. You know, maybe, maybe it's, you know, let the go of the pressure. Maybe it's teaching your kids to, you know, to do their own beds. And that's part of having them be responsible humans. What I'm trying to say is take off the self imposed pressure where you think you have to do something to be perfect. Like I was when I was saying, oh, I need to do all these things because if I can't meet those deadlines then I'm not enough. Let go of those. And then next, what is the next. Like what, what are the most important things that need to be done? Choose the biggest one. Like if you wrote out that list, literally just score from like 1 to 10 or however many items you have on your list. Like pick the thing that weight. Like when you read it you're like, ah, oh my God, that feels heavy. Go after that one and then focus on it. Keep chipping away, making advancements in it until you knock it out and then move to the next because you only get results from the things you complete. And then lastly, take some time for yourself. Do things that make you feel good and focus on where it is you want to go before you. You know, it's a great practice to get into. Whenever you do any action, I try to do it. I'd be lying if I said that I did it 100% of the time. I'd be lying if I said I did it 50% of time. But I do set the intention to do it and that is to focus on what it is that I want out of that action, what it is I want out of. Whatever it is that I'm doing, what it is I want on my day. What feelings do I want to feel? Because as a result of knowing in advance what it is you're going after now all of a sudden it makes the game easier because you have an aim. That's the whole point of like having to have an ambition for your life because you know where you're going. Otherwise you're just like, you know, like you're shooting your guns up in the air and you're not really. Well, you're maybe, maybe if you're lucky you might hit a bird, but you're not going to get, you're not going to get dinner from the table, right? So that is, that is my approach for getting over overwhelmed. So I hope this in some way helps you if you're in that state. I hope it gets you over that hump and back into your life. If you like this, please share this with five people. If you have a question, throw it in the comments section. Or if you just want to comment on your experience with this podcast, please just throw it in the comment section there. Thank you so, so much for tuning in. I hope you enjoy this. Remember, you only get one life. Live fully, live passionately. Most of all, live now. God bless and I will see you again soon.