Beeline - How to Action When You're Not Sure Where What You Want

Most people spend their entire life stressed without ever giving a single thought as to what it is they really want or what's important to them. See, I'm here to cut through all that noise, connecting you to yourself and the life that you were meant to live. I used to slave away at a corporate job that I hated, but I broke through the social norms and pursued my passion. As a result, I own my own coffee company. I'm espresso sommelier, and I get to travel the world. You, too, can live a life that you love, but it starts with getting clear about what you want. It starts with a new decision. I'm your host, Donnie Rouse, and you are listening to the podcast One Life Beeline. The quickest way between you and what it is that you want is to know what it is that you want. It seems like common sense, but so many people operate without having, at the very least, a general sense of where they want to go or what it is that they want. As a result, you start to literally scramble and spread yourself out in a million different directions. And if you know that you're doing that, that's okay, right? I admit that I am guilty of that until I started taking the time to really say, okay, what is the outcome? What is it that I want? What is my end result? Because only when you know your end result can you start to take the appropriate action, can you start to move in the direction of the thing that you want to. So there's literally three questions we're going to ask here. We say, one, what do you want? At the very least, have a general sense of it. And then two, how can you start just moving in that general direction? And then the last thing is start to take small action, take a small step in that direction. So the inspiration for this podcast, I was on Instagram scrolling through some reels, and I came across a. Would look like the recording of a podcast. And in that recording, the person was interviewing somebody, and they were saying, people talk about having this vision, and there's all this talk about having a clear vision for your life. He said, but what if you don't have a vision? I read this book, and it's a children's book. I actually have the book. It's really, really good. And he was saying that when you don't know, the character in the book was a horse, and the horse was talking to the fox. And he says, well, the fox was saying something along the lines of, well, I don't know where to go. And the horse told him, well, just take the next step. And his advice on this reel was, you know, just go in that next direction, just take the next step. How effective is that though? When you think of life so many, so frequently, our emotions are kind, constantly changing, our state is constantly changing. And where we put our focus directly related to where or what state we are in. Think of it this way, right? If you see something that you are inspired by, you're at a restaurant, you're like, oh my God, I would love to open up an Asian noodle bar, right? All of a sudden now you're on this Asian noodle kick and you're looking up how to open a restaurant. Then all of a sudden something happens at work and you start to get very passionate because maybe you got assigned to this project which is right in your alley, and it's the type of work you love to do. And you're like, oh my God, this is the type of work maybe I would love to consult here. And now all of a sudden you're going in a different direction. And then all of a sudden, one of your passions or side hobbies, repairing furniture. We'll just throw it out there. Somebody says, hey, I know you like to do this. Would you like to repair my furniture? And you're like, oh, of course, yes, I'll take it, drop it off tomorrow and I'll do it on the weekend. What did you just do? Now you're spread into three different directions. And most people are spread well beyond three. How can you effectively move in any one of those directions when they're one? They're all completely. Let's not even talk about having three different focuses all going in like the same direction, right? In the same industry. But now you have three different things, completely different. How can you possibly work effectively and complete any of those with satisfaction, right? You're going to burn out and you're going to be stressed out. To give you an example and drive this point home even further, I was in Italy for the month of February. The intention of the trip was to just go and taste a bunch of different coffee drinks. So I started in Rome, went to Bologna. From Bologna, went to Fano Riccione, went up to Trieste, stopping in Paduan Ferrara, then went over to Palermo. And I had all these drinks plotted all over the country of Italy. Prior, I mean, prior to going there, I was a little bit too general in what it was that I wanted to accomplish while I was there. So I probably tasted about seven different specialty drinks in Italy. The amount of drinks that were on my list were something Maybe at least double that. And not only was it double that, but it was spread out literally across the entire country. Like, I went from Rome to Bologna, visiting all towns in between, up to Trieste, which is the top northeast corner, down to Sicily, over to Bari in Puglia, and then back up to Naples in Rome. Literally, the entire country. Had I wanted. Had I stuck to the plan of trying to do these other drinks? Because there was a combination. There was alcoholic drinks as well as these dessert, kind of more specialty espresso drinks. I had to draw a line and say, okay, well, what exactly is my outcome? What is the focus that I want to put on? I'm not going to be making alcoholic drinks and selling alcoholic drinks, at least not in the immediate future, because I don't have a bar, but I am bottling my espresso. So the intention was to go to these places and get inspiration and bring back concepts so that I could put in a bottle. And that is exactly what I did. And as a result, I literally scratched off this entire list of drinks, with the exception of one. I was going to Riccione. And on the way to Riccione, I saw that one of the stops a little bit further out was a place called Fano. If you're not familiar with Fano, Fano makes a drink called Moreta di Fano. It is three different liquors. Cognac, rum, and anise with sugar, A little bit of lemon peel, and espresso on top. It is amazing. Especially when it's cold outside, it just warms you from the inside. In that moment, I saw that it was literally the next stop over. So I said, oh, you know what? Let me just stop over there. I'm just gonna go check it out. So I went over there, and then I continued on my way. Later on in that trip, after going up Trieste, I was like, you know what? I am starting to get a little bit burned out. I had at that point, I don't even know how many shots of espresso I had, but it was quite a bit. I think over the course of the month, I had about 150 shots in 30 days, maybe even more. I'm just averaging here because, like, on an average of like, five shots a day. So I went, you know, and doing this entire trip and then looking at it, and I was, you know, thank God. I had actually planned towards the end when Bodi was one of the last places I visit bare in Leche. While I was there, I was. I literally wanted the trip to end that, to give you an Idea as to how much espresso I was consuming. I was like, I don't want to have another coffee for the rest of my life and I definitely don't want to see one on this trip. That's how much. I mean, I was just overwhelmed. So I basically, I was like, no, I, you know, I, my intention was to go here and try these drinks. I must complete this. So I did that and I don't regret it. I'm very happy that I did because now I have this taste map in my mind as to what these drinks taste like so I can replicate them here. So what did you take from the story? What did you learn from what I just mentioned about my experience in Italy? One, that having a general direction eliminates all the other noise around you. Secondly, let's talk about resources, right? Your resources are limited, especially your time. And I will rephrase. In the past I've said, well, you know what? I can't do everything, but I can try. That was like my motto. I could do a million things, maybe not easily, you know, I can't get them all done within a week, but if I spend enough time on it, eventually I'll get them done. And I still live some of my life like that in terms of like my travel and work, like, because it's, it's very, it's a balance and one feeds the other for me. But back to that example, it's resources. Your time is resource. I only had a month in Italy or five weeks, but like really was a month where I was in the country of Italy. If I were to go into all these other areas, doing one thing meant I couldn't do another. So there would have been a sacrifice or a trade off as a result of choosing to go to a different town to try a different drink. If I wasn't focused on what it was that I was going to go for, which was to try drinks so that I could bring back concepts. The same is true for your life. So what else did you notice about the story? The other thing about the story was that when I did not want to go forward, when I was feeling completely burnt out from espresso and I was like, you know what? Screw this, I'm not having anymore. I continued, maybe for better, for worse, but the important thing was, is I'm very happy that I did now. I, you know, in hindsight, your emotions could sway in every different direction, right? How many different fluctuations in your emotional state do you experience in a day? I know from experience, like I could be feeling like, frustrated about something. And all of a sudden, you know, my niece makes me laugh, and all of a sudden I'm smiling and my state has completely changed. I'm in a different state of mind. And all of a sudden now, like, my. Maybe the work that I'd been putting off, now all of a sudden I'm like, all right, let me dive in. I literally nosedive right in. I'm suddenly knocking out work left and right. So having a focus, even when you're emotionally, you feel like you're kind of in flux, allows you to continue down that path. So it's not enough to just to say, let's take the next step. Although I am very spiritual, I do think believe that you feel your heart knows the direction you want to go, but you need so much of it is related to your focus. Wherever your focus is going, that's where you're going to go. So if you're focusing on a million different things, you're going to go in a million different directions, and you're not going to get anywhere. What do you do? I was writing down a vision for my life, going through every single category, and given a vision and a purpose to every single category. It looks like you're breaking down your life into all these granular pieces. But the truth of the matter is, is that all of these pieces feed on one another. Said differently, like your. Your health. You need to have good health in order to have a good career, right? Because eventually your, your. If your health starts to wane, all of a sudden now you, maybe you can't focus, maybe you can't put 100% of your work because your body's aching everywhere, and it's just hard. It becomes hard to focus. So I was doing all this and looking at my career. I was writing down, what are the things? Like, what is my vision for my career? And it's funny because you can know what you want, but sometimes when it comes time to speak it, you're like, I don't know what I want. I was talking to one of my friends, my friend Ryan, and we were talking about when we met at a Tony Robbins event. And Tony Robbins would have you work through this workbook while you were in the event. And he would say, okay, you know, let's write the. This, you know, your vision for your life. Like, imagine you're in the rocking chair and you're at the end of your life. What are all the things you want? And you're, you're, you know, you're sitting there, people are Scrambling on paper. And it's funny. He told the story, and I literally had the same experience. So I was laughing. He said, yeah, I was in the crowd, and I was looking around everyone literally pen to paper, like, writing so fast, and I couldn't think of anything. So I was like, what the hell's going on? Like, is there something wrong with me? Why don't I have a vision? And it was challenging because, you know, I didn't know. So I started. When I was doing it, I started writing things like, I don't know what I want. What do I want? I'm like a Lamborghini helicopter. I was putting shit on there that I didn't. I don't have the care in the world of ever getting. I mean, would it be nice to have Lamborghini in a helicopter? Sure. Is it something I'm going to really devote all my time and energy for? No, I don't care. I fly economy when I go everywhere, because flying is just me getting from point A to point B. It doesn't bother me. I'm very comfortable flying, getting a focus. You might not know exactly where it is you want to go, but you probably. You have. I'm sure you have a general sense of where you want to go. And if you don't have a general sense of where you want to go, look at the feelings you want. So as I was doing this exercise, I was, all right, well, I want to just feel passionate about whatever it is I'm doing. I want to wake up and be like, yes, I cannot wait to go do the work I'm going to do. As I'm writing this, I had a hard time coming up with a picture as to what it is that I was listing. I know I'm passionate about coffee. I know I'm passionate about travel. But currently, I am very much in my business. So if you take me out of my business, there is no more business. So I was like, how can I do something that I'm passionate about that's fulfilling where I'm contributing? And I started writing down things, and one of those ideas was the idea for my one life course. Helping people prioritize experiences, get super clear about what it was that they want? Doing so would allow me location of freedom. And then other things with, like. With my rouse. Coffee was like, all right, well, I need. There's so many things I don't know. I need to just speak to somebody to get more knowledge, to get more information. Right? Because you don't know what you don't know. Which brings me to step number three, taking an action. You associate taking an action with actually moving towards or in that direction. Right. A lot of time, if taking action is just getting information, you discount it. Because I'm taking a side step. I'm not moving towards this. I'm still doing research. And you're. You're rushing yourself to get somewhere that you are not really sure where it is. So taking the time to gather knowledge, to understand what it is that you don't know is extremely important. So in the example of my business, I was, all right, well, doing production, who can I speak to that can guide me? How can I get more clarity around this aspect of my business? As a result, I ended up going to a beverage event where I got to speak with consultants and other beverage entrepreneurs, and I started reaching out to different consultants. Because I went to that event, I put myself in that circle of influence, and I got names and suggestions from people there. So I was like, okay, now I'm getting somewhere. Now I have several different consultants all giving me their ideas of how I should move forward, how I could move forward. So what does that do for me now? It's like, all right, I have these three maps. Which one is going to get me to where I want to go? If I didn't take that action step, if I didn't take just that step to inquire and gather more information, then I wouldn't have left where I was. I would be in the same place wondering what I should do next. And that's where so many people spend their time, taking the time to do some research, to understand what it is that you don't know, and not even what you don't know. But what the possibilities are of where you can go is extremely important because that one step can literally spark the inspiration. And all of a sudden, now you have more drive, more psychological necessity to move forward and to go after what it is you want. So what do you get from all of this? Let me ask you a question. If you have a general direction of where you want to go, are you more likely to get there with that general knowing than if you were just taking the first step of whatever it is that inspired you in that moment? The answer is yes. Just to recap on what I said at the beginning, you need to know where you're going. You need to have, at the very least, a general direction as to where you want to go. If you don't have that general direction, you are going to be constantly starting over and going in different directions, never Getting far at all. So if you're allowing yourself to move based on the state you are in or where you are focusing, sure, it might feel good, right? I mean, who doesn't feel good when you're moving? Like, you get inspired, you take an action here, something else catches your attention, the next shiny thing, and then you go in that direction. Yeah, Because, I mean, you're following your emotions and it feels great because like in that moment, you are feeling very passionate and driven about whatever it is in front of you. But what it's doing is it's watering down your efforts. And as a result, you're literally staying in one place, taking a step forward, a step back, a step forward, a step back. And over time, right, you do that long enough, it's not a one for one. You do that long enough, it's one step back. I'm sorry, one step forward, two steps back, one step forward, five steps back. Because as time goes by, right, like, when is the best time to plant a tree? 10 years ago? When's the second best time to plant a tree? Today. Now. So by taking action now, that is how you start to compound, get results. If you're constantly going around. So now you've been doing that for 10, 15, 20, 30 years. Imagine if you had that 30 years of just focused intention towards an objective, towards something you want with that focus. I mean, you probably get there in five years, maybe even less, depending on how much you were able to stretch your mind. But in closing, what is it that you want? At the very general essence, how do you want to feel? Number two, how can you start to get and move in that direction? Said differently, how can you start to understand with a little bit more clarity? And if you have an idea saying you want to be more passionate about your career, what are the things that make you passionate? By asking questions and digging deeper, it's what will help you get more clarity. And then once you have more clarity and you know the direction you want to go now, you could start exploring. Now you can see what options are available, what possibilities are around you talking to a consultant and like all these small steps, then once you get that, then you start to move in the direction, then you can do the next step. Because with that next step, you know you're moving in general direction, you're not going to be shooting off in all different directions. You guys, you deserve to live the most passionate expression of your life. And that passionate expression means having clarity about who you are, what you want, what you stand for, what you're going after. If you enjoyed this podcast, please hit that subscribe button. If you know somebody who maybe they're racking their brain and there are a million in different directions, share this podcast with them. If you have a question, you'd like to subscribe, or share a story, you can do so by visiting my website at www.donnierouse.com again www. O n n y r a u s.com thank you so much for tuning in. I realize you could be putting your attention anywhere else here, but you're here focused on making your life better and making your life literally full of experiences. And again, it takes with going inward first. So remember, you only get one life. Live it. God bless and I will see you again soon.