Comfort Killer - What You Need to Overcome to Create the Life You Want

Most people spend their entire life stressed without ever giving a single thought as to what it is they really want or what's important to them. See, I'm here to cut through all that noise connecting you to yourself and the life that you were meant to live. I used to slave away at a corporate job that I hated, but I broke through the social norms and pursued my passion. As a result, I own my own coffee company, I'm espresso sommelier and I get to travel the world. You too can live a life that you love, but it starts with getting clear about what you want. It starts with a new decision. I'm your host, Donnie Rouse, and you are listening to the podcast One Life, the comfort killer For Everything Gained, something must be given up, said differently. If you want something that you don't have, you have to do something different. And that often means giving up a part of ourselves, a habit of ourselves, in order to attain something different, right? Because in order to get something we don't have, we have to do something, become someone we haven't been. So I just came back from a month long trip, well actually a five week trip in Europe and I finished it off in Miami just because I was completely exhausted by all the travel I was doing. It was mainly for work, for traveling around tasting coffee beverages. But in that time while I was abroad, I met so many people from all walks of life and got to hear their story and learn from some of their experiences that I will share with you. One in particular was a German fellow that I met and he was just going out, he was telling me about his life, the things that he desired, as well as kind of what was holding him back. But before we gonna go, before we even touch upon that, let's bring it back to you. What is it that you really, really want in life? What is an outcome for a specific area in life that you want? And then next, why don't you have it? We're going to ask a different question, say, well, what are the comforts that are preventing you from having the things you want? Because when we don't take action, inertia sets in. And it's so easy to feel inspired and say, okay, this is what I want. But then all of a sudden you go back to your routine, your habits, your patterns, and now all of a sudden you've lost that momentum. So what is it that's holding you back? What are those comforts that are keeping you locked into where you are? The next question is, what will you gain by going after that thing Right. Maybe it's starting your own business. Maybe it's just having the freedom to make your own schedule. What will that give you in doing that? Maybe you would feel alive, maybe, like, oh, my God, I would have passion for what I was doing. Plus, I would know that I was building it for myself, get acquainted with those things. And then lastly, what is the step that you must take in order to start moving forward in this direction? As I'd mentioned, I was in this particular story. I had met a German guy, and I was in Cantania, Sicily. And as always, when I'm in a new place, you know, when I stay at hostels, I see someone, the first thing I do is I go up to him, say, hey, hi. How are you? Where are you from? Right? This. This guy told me he was from Germany. And then we just start to talk about places we've been, you know, desires that you have in life give each other recommendations. But in this instance, I was asking about Germany, and, like, just what it was like. He lived near Cologne, Germany. He was telling me, well, you know, that he didn't really like it there, right. He worked as a sanitation worker for the government. And I said, well, all right. Well, what is it that you do? Like, what was your favorite place? He went on to talk about Thailand, specifically. He was telling me about a girl that he had dated. They had been dating back and forth for some time. She actually lived in Europe, so it wasn't like they never got to see each other. I think she lived in Switzerland. So as he was talking about these different places that he's been and the place that he would want to. He sees himself in, he was getting very animated, very excited. And then I was like, well, that's awesome. Why don't you go? Why don't you move to Thailand? He's like, well, you know, Germany has so many great things. Like, I don't have to worry about my medical. He has job stability. And he was going into these things that didn't light him up at all. They weren't things that really jazzed him up. They were these security. Like these security blankets that were keeping him literally enveloped in the place that he didn't want to be. Hmm. So I. I tell you this story because he is really a representation of us, right? Because we all want something, but sometimes it is the patterns, the habits that we're in, the comforts that we get from it that keep us in stop. Like, locked to where we are. So I just kept kind of asking them questions or, you know, what Would it be like to. If you live there and, you know, in Thailand and he had a hard time trying to visualize this, trying to. Trying to get out of the security that he had. Where in your life do you have that security? Where you want to make a change, you want to do something differently, but because you're so comfortable in the way things are and because things are so easy, you fail to make that change or you just decided not to sometimes unconsciously. I know, if I'm honest with you, there are areas of my life where his story was literally a reflection of different areas in my life. And like, man, yeah, it's so true. You know, like, the areas, you know, I want to change this. I want to live here. But, you know, when I think about what is. I think about like, oh, starting over. Oh, my God, it's going to be so tough. Oh, I have to make new friends. If you're putting your focus on what you'll have to give up, the hardship that it's great to be real. Right. We can't delude ourselves to think that a big change is not going to come with its own challenges. That wouldn't be practical. Right. It would be a false sense of, a false belief to think that you were going to do something bad, bigger, and you wouldn't hit any bumps or any walls or bumps in the road. That's going to happen. Anytime you push yourself, anytime you push your boundary, you're always going to come across a few bumps. But that's what makes you grow. That's what makes the experience worthwhile. So let's go back to that one thing. So what is it that you really want? Right. What is it that's holding you back and get acquainted. What are the things that you will benefit as a result of taking that step? Because this is really where you want to start to put the energy. Because the outcome, the things that you're going to gain are what are going to give you the emotion. The things you're going to have to give up are those things that are literally going to keep you stuck running in that circle. We'll go through the questions one more time. If you have a pen and paper, I highly encourage you to just take it out and. And John, a few notes. Again, you say, what is it that you want? Pick one area of your life where you want something different. And when I say different is you're not happy where you are. Second, what is it that you want? If you had a little magic lamp where you could rub it and a little Genie Donny Rouse would come up and say, hey, I'm here to grant you your perfect life. What would you want? What would you wish for? Third, what is it that's holding you back? What are the comforts? What are the patterns that are keeping you where you are? Fourth, what would you gain by taking that first step? By moving in the direction of where you want to go? How would it feel, right? Who would the new identity be like? Who would you become as a result of taking that step? How would you show up to the world around you, to the people around you? And then lastly, let's focus on one step, one thing that you can do. Now, if you wanted to take a action now, what's one thing that you can do that would move you in that direction? It doesn't have to be. It could be like one of those big, big action steps where it burns all the bridges. Now you have no other direction to go but forward. But sometimes you don't really need these giant action steps, right? It doesn't have to be because sometimes when you take such a big step, it could jolt you and you want to jump back. But if you take a small step and then another small step and another small step, it's like the frog in the pot, right? You soon you're in an area you don't even know, and it's just because you had done all these little, these baby steps. But if you had to try to do that, all the step you made in one big step, it might have. It might have scared you might not have even made the decision to do or go after whatever it is that you want. So think of one little step that you can make and if this inspired you in some way, take that step. Message me. Send me a message on Instagram, on my website donnyrouse.com and let me know because I would love to hear what it is that drives you, what it is that inspires you, and what it is that you did to move you in that direction. That is all I've got for you guys today. I had taken a little bit of a break, but I'm back now and I'm going to be doing the episodes more frequently here. So tune in if you found this inspiring, if you found this in any way relevant to your life, give it a like, share it with someone else that you know can benefit from hearing this. And if you have any comments or questions, you could email them to me via my website@www.donnyrouse.com. again, D O N N Y R A U S.com there. You can also subscribe or hit the link to buy some of my delicious Rouse Coffee where it is all about connecting you to the moment and you to yourself so that you could have these beautiful moments. Because life is made up of all these moments, right? It's not the big things that we go after like the trip to Italy and all the things. While those are great, it really comes down to the day to day moments and any ritual that you could put in place that anchors you into the moment, such as a cup of coffee, are worth their Wayne Gold. So that is all I've got for you guys today. I hope you enjoyed this podcast. Thank you so much for tuning in. God bless you and I will see you again soon. Remember, you only get one life. Live it. Thank you so much.