Escapism - Move From Feeling Stuck to Being Clear About What You Want

Most people spend their entire life stressed without ever giving a single thought as to what it is they really want or what's important to them. See, I'm here to cut through all that noise connecting you to yourself and the life that you were meant to live. I used to slave away at a corporate job that I hated, but I broke through the social norms and pursued my passion. As a result, I own my own coffee company, I'm espresso sommelier, and I get to travel the world. You too can live a life that you love, but it starts with getting clear about what you want. It starts with a new decision. I'm your host Donnie Rouse, and you are listening to the podcast One Life. If you're feeling stuck, chances are you are part of the problem, or I should say part of the impediment in your life. One of the best ways to get perspective, one of the best ways to get answers as to what is the next step forward is to remove yourself from the situation is to step away. This one is called escapism. Do you want things to be different? If so, the first thing you have to do is to step away. Said differently is to get some distance from you and not even the problem, but your habitual way of thinking day in and day out. I don't think it's far fetched to say that each day you kind of relive the same habits, the same patterns, whether it be waking up, having a coffee first, reading the newspaper, running to work, sitting in traffic and getting angry, having another coffee, we'll just throw more coffees in there and then going to the gym, rinse and repeat. You become so ingrained in the habit, in the way, perpetual way of living that it's difficult to one, see new opportunities and two, hear what it is that your heart is really calling for you to do so. One of the only ways I know of in order to get that is to make, to create, give some distance, create some space between you and the life you're currently living. So let's go into it right now. What are, what is something that's been plaguing you, right? Maybe it's a problem, maybe it's a decision that you have to make, but you haven't been able to make that decision. What are now this is going to be about getting familiar with the habits, like the tendencies that you have or what are the thoughts that you cycle around in your mind whenever you think about this thing. And then lastly, if you were to distance yourself from this, what kind of perspective do you think might come into it. This is the third question. It's. I think it's not as. It's a little bit kind of vague in the sense that it's not going to. I don't feel it explains exactly what I want to leave you with. So I'm going to follow up with a story to give you the insight in just how powerful giving yourself a little bit of distance is in creating the life that you want. 2019. I was in Italy. I was spending a month in Italy as I was studying to become an espresso sommelier. I was sitting on Lake Como and I was traveling all around the northern regions of Italy. So sitting on Lake Como, at a cafe, sipping a coffee, and I was alone. And as I was sitting there, I thought to myself, what am I doing? I feel like I'm wasting time here. I was near a villa, I believe it was called Villa Carlota. Now as I was sitting there, I was thinking about my career in coffee and something had come up and I was like, I don't want to do coffee anymore. And I was so surprised to hear this thing kind of like flow up from inside of me. I was like, well, what do you mean you don't want to do coffee anymore? What am I going to do? And it was perspective that I could only have with my mind being quiet. I could only have from distancing myself from the day to day operations of running my business. So you see me now, I am still in coffee. So the epiphany was not so much that I didn't want to be in coffee. I love coffee, especially espresso. But it was more the day in and day out, the way I was operating my business, the way I was running. You could have a business and it's funny how you might go into business because you love making coffee, but when you are the entrepreneur, the owner, the CEO, every other hat you can imagine, now all of a sudden, doing what you love is not the only hat that you have to wear. It's all these other things. So there were aspects of the business that were really weighing me down and taking the enjoyment out of what I was doing. So I was like, well, no, this has to be done differently. And I couldn't get that viewpoint any other way than just by distance myself. So one of the reasons why now it's about purpose. And I think what you're listening here about the one life is about helping people follow their one life to live and have these experiences that they want before they die to be true to Yourself. And coincidentally, the coffee is also a part of that, because it's about enjoying the moment. Recently, I had just come back from Italy, and I was reminded again about a desire that I had, a desire about living in Europe. When I was in Rome, I thought about going around making coffee videos, because I don't see anybody making coffee videos. And even when they are making coffee videos, the person who's giving the video has no credentials. And they might say, ooh, look at this cappuccino. Best cappuccino in Rome. And I'm looking at the phone like, that looks putrid. It looks. Looks horrible. They aerated the foam the hell out of the foam. That's not a good cappuccino. So I wanted to bring some. Some authority to it. And I was. I was in Italy. I started to get excited about this. I started to get excited about the different possibilities of, you know, doing coffee stuff and even life abroad in Rome, in Italy, in Europe, in being able to bounce around. But when I was here, then back in the States, trying to put myself in that mindset, it was very challenging now, because now all of a sudden, I'm back in the flow of things, and it's almost like. I mean, I do remember, because I'm telling you it here now, but the emotional intensity and the excitement that I felt when I was in Rome felt different. Right? And again, that's partially when you experience that, and then you come back and you don't partially, you're at fault for that. Right? Because there's no reason you can't. You have to put your focus there, and you have to remember the feeling. It's like any goal in life. If you can't put yourself in that goal, if you can't become familiar with the emotions of what it is that you want, what makes you think you're going to move forward? What makes you think you're going to take the action to get there? Coming on here today, doing this podcast and the episode I just recorded right before this were inspired by me looking online and connecting back with the desires that I have, realizing, like, well, you know, Venetian, the Venetian Carnival is something that I'd wanted to do for my entire life. And as I was looking online at some of the masquerade balls, it started to become possible. Because this February, I am throwing around the idea of going back to Italy. And now I'm like, well, oh, my God, I could make good on this goal that I've had for, literally, I don't even know, maybe at least a decade. Of my life. Oh, my God, that's so exciting. And then from that point, I'm like, well, I want to share the thought of realizing this goal that I've had for so long. I wanted to come on here and I wanted to share and I wanted to inspire you guys to think about the goals that you want. But today we're talking about perspective. We're talking about getting a change of perspective. Step in a way to give yourself enough space. So this way you can start to see a bigger picture. And this way you can start to question the way you were living your life to say, well, this is how I was living it. How has that been working out for me? Have I been happy? Right? Have I been happy? Steve Jobs, I had listened to his speech at Stanford, and I think one of the things he says, he looks at every morning he wakes up, looks in the mirror, and says something along the lines of, am I happy doing? Am I looking forward to doing what it is I'm doing, or am I happy doing it? If not, then change. How often do you ask yourself that question? Am I happy with my marriage? Am I happy with my, my job? Am I happy with my body? You're happy with everything, anything in your life. And the answer is no, saying, all right, well, what am I willing to do to change it? So having the space makes it easier to look, because now you're not looking from being an inch inch away from whatever it is that you're trying to analysis now you created some space, and now looking at it with that space, it becomes easier to say, okay, well, this is not working anymore. I don't want to go back to that. What do I want? And without having any influences from anybody or expectations, you're able to free your mind and what else is possible? So what else is possible? Again, you don't have to travel around the world to have this. You could literally go for a walk, take a couple days, go hike in the woods, I don't know, go camping. But at least in my experiences, I have found that it helps to give some distance. I like to be alone for these contemplative parts of my life. When I'm thinking about moves, I can't have any outside influence. I have one influence. I'll ask it. But it's usually my experience with life that gets me clarity as to what I want going forward. And that clarity only comes from giving myself that distance, from the expectations of my family, the roles I feel like, the responsibilities. When all that stuff is there, it clouds my judgment. It Clouds what I want for my life. And as a result, it's hard for me to think of, to put myself in that space. What is possible? What is it that I want? So what is it that you want? And what can you do in the next day, week, months, year to maybe carve out a little piece of time to say, okay, I'm going to set aside a week to literally just be by myself. I'm going to give myself this to plan the rest of my life, or at least plan the next year of your life. I'm going to be doing a workshop coming January, I believe, January 8th, which I'll be posting on my website, donnierouse.com, where we're going to start to plan the experiences. Like, what is it that you want to experience in your life in the next year? I mean, goals, all these things are. I'm thinking about experiences, right? Because I believe that experiences live with you forever and that I believe that you should be prioritizing those experiences. Because it is by having those experiences, they start to open you up to the other possibilities of life. You start to think differently. And just because your energy level is through the freaking roof, because you're doing something that you know, that you love, that you want to do, all of a sudden, now other things become possible. That's happening on January 8th. It's called Ready, Set, Live. But give yourself that time, that space, to think and create a bigger vision for your year and your life. You owe it to yourself. I had said before on podcast that the only person you have to worry about making happy is yourself. Do what you want to do. Now, that doesn't mean like go out and do something that's going to harm others. But by following your heart, by doing the very thing that you are being called to do, you are adding value to the other people you are being and showing up as your best self. And as a result, you're having the impact that you were supposed supposed to have because you're simply following your heart. Being false to somebody because you don't want to hurt their feelings is not protecting them. You get what I'm trying to say? Being in a role that you don't want to be in, or doing something you don't want to be isn't benefiting the other person. They deserve to have the whole you. So take the moment, commit to yourself, to showing up for yourself, to figuring it out what it is that you want. And again, the. One of the best ways that I found that is to give yourself space, a some room to think differently and apart from the life that you're currently living. I hope you enjoyed this podcast here. If you did, please give it a thumbs up if this. You know, if you relate to this, I would love to hear your experiences. If you have someone who you feel like maybe, you know, you've heard them, they've been preaching for a while how they're so unhappy with this. Maybe they need to create some space in their life to get that fresh perspective. Send them this and hopefully they will get that perspective change. But I appreciate you guys from tuning in. If you want to subscribe, ask a question or comment, you could do so by visiting my website at www.donnyrous.com d o n n y r a u s.com thank you so much for tuning in. I am grateful for your time. I hope this added value to your life in some way, at the very least gave you a little bit of a framework to start to think about your day differently about think about differently about what it is that you want for your life and to give yourself the gift of that space to plan the experiences you want to have, what you want to create. How you want to live this day forward. Remember, you only get one life. Live it. God bless and I will see you again next week.