Everybody Wants - Your Actions Speak Your Priorities

Most people spend their entire life stressed without ever giving a single thought as to what it is they really want or what's important to them. See, I'm here to cut through all that noise, connecting you to yourself and the life that you were meant to live. I used to slave away at a corporate job that I hated, but I broke through the social norms and pursued my passion. As a result, I own my own coffee company, I'm espresso sommelier, and I get to travel the world. You, too can live a life that you love, but it starts with getting clear about what you want. It starts with a new decision. I'm your host, Donnie Rouse, and you are listening to the podcast One Life. Everybody wants. Everybody wants something. But how many people do you know say they want something, but yet do something contradictory to the very thing that they desire? Said differently, how many people do you say, do you see who say they want something, actually take actions that are congruent with the thing that they want? I was having a phone call with one of my friends, my friend Ryan, and we were talking about travel. He was saying, how. Well, who doesn't he. Whenever he would share his aspirations to other people, everybody would say, oh, my God, that sounds amazing. What do you want to do? Oh, I wish I could do that. And he said to me, he goes, whenever I mention to somebody, every single person is saying, oh, my God, that sounds amazing. I want to do the same thing. And in our conversation, we were saying, well, but how many people actually do it? How many people are actually willing to take the risk, take the steps in order to create that style, the life that they want? Creating the life you want is going to require you to step out of that comfort zone. It is very easy to fall in the comfort zone, to fall in the habitual way of thinking, to fall in familiar patterns. But if you want to go after whatever it is, in this case, we're going to use the goal of working and living abroad. You have to make actions. You have to set yourself up by taking the necessary steps in order to fulfill that. I use this example because it's something I'm very familiar with, and I will share you some of my own experiences in this podcast, because you are a lot like me. If you're listening to this, chances are there's a lot more that you want out of life. You want to experience a lot more. You value experiences over things. Things are nice, too, but experiences are where it's at. So in my own personal life, whenever I travel as a big desire, mind Right. It's never going away. I had this conflict in terms of how to build the business. I always felt like the two were contradictory to the other, where I would share aspirations, other people and the ideas that I had. And everyone was like, oh my God, it makes so much sense. I see it completely, but yet I had a hard time seeing it because mentally I was creating my own blocks. And then I started taking some actions and I realized a couple things. When I would wake up in the morning, sometimes I would be in this funk, and this funk would literally deter me from taking new action. I would cycle through old thoughts and in the end, literally just kind of spiral. The days would go by with no new action being taken. Can you relate to that? Have you ever had that experience? So one of the things that I want to share with you in this is just how do you break out of that? How do you start something new? Like, how do you get into a new pattern or break out of an old pattern? And it's something called. It's not really anchoring. It's more like giving yourself a way to change the way you feel. There's a term I'm looking for, but I'm not really. Can't really pull it up right now. But anyways, it's almost like giving yourself something that's going to anchor you into a different feeling, a different positive, a positive outlook, a positive anything. And that for me is music. I have a podcast station that I put. It's called One Life Music. Whenever I put that podcast station on, all of a sudden it reminds me of everything that I want in life. It reminds me of the travels, the experiences I want to have. And all of a sudden, action becomes easy. What can you do in your day to day that will allow you to get familiar with those feelings, the things that you want? Because the reason why you don't have the thing you want is not because you're not talented or you're not able to do, or you lack the aptitude. That's not it at all. You have everything you need in order to make your dreams real. Where I feel you fall short is that you're not reminding yourself. You're not bringing what you want to the front. And as a result, you get lost in the demands of your day. And as a result, it's not that you forget what it is you want. It's almost like it starts to get old and fade. Like a picture that's been sitting in the sun for too long. The colors start to dull, they start to get Fade, and pretty soon you cannot even make out the picture that's on the photograph. Your dreams are a lot like that. Your dreams are there, your dreams are that photograph. But the less you visit them, the more they fade over time, the more they lose color, the more they lose that clarity, that sharpness of the picture. But luckily, in this day and age, we live in a digital age where we can now take that picture, right? And we could add color, we could sharpen it, we could touch it up and we could bring more life, breathe more life into that photo. I'm going in a completely different rant as I was going. But it all makes sense and it all goes with the main theme. The theme is everybody wants, right? How can you get yourself just to take action? How can you get yourself familiar with the emotions of what it is that you want? So this way you can constantly take new actions and move forward in progression towards that thing. There are several things, again, it's all about bringing, like showering yourself with those emotions to get yourself familiar with what you want, why you want, and how it's gonna feel once you have it. So what are some ways we can do that? We'll cover a few strategies here. One, let's use social media, right? Social media. There's a thing we could use social media for, something that will literally suck our life and drain our life of any meaning, or we could use social media to enhance our life by reminding us what we want. So if you are a social media junkie, how can you start to shape your social media and really use it as something that will help you in the creative process, remind you of all the desires that you have? Number one is first, unfollow the people who, when you look at their posts, maybe you criticize them, maybe you get annoyed. Whatever it may be, just notice how you feel. If it doesn't make you feel good, unfollow it, mute it. You don't have to defriend the person or unfriend them. It's, you know, on Instagram, but you could literally just mute conversations, mute stories, mute posts. Number two, start following things that make you feel passionate, right? If it's traveling to Italy, look, travel Italy, and then start looking in the cities and start following those hashtags. As those tags show up, they will start going into your feed. And now instead of looking at your neighbor who just had spaghetti and meatballs for dinner, now you're looking at the Coliseum and someone you know doing a post on a tour that they're offering at a Discounted rate, something that you've always wanted to do. Thirdly, follow accounts that make you feel good, right? That align, that remind you of the goals and the thing you aspire to be. This just kind of keeps bringing it up in the background. So this way your. What you want is front and center and not somewhere in the background. I really what you. The thing that you want a lot to be a lot like meditation. That's why it was. So this morning I woke up in a complete shit show knowing that I felt a little off. I had to recenter myself. And before I was, you know what, I have to get my day started. I have to go make breakfast, do coffee. But then I stopped and said, no, what I need to do right now is I need to center myself, I need to go meditate, I need to think about the things I want. I have to change my state. And that's the first thing that I did. And as a result of doing that, I was able to take new actions towards the thing that I want. That life of having my business, but also having the freedom to work remotely if I wanted to. But it all came from changing this state. It all came from taking the reins of my focus and bringing it back, slowing it down. Breathing. First of all, right, my breath was, I was like breathing really fast and I noticed that once I slowed it down, then all of a sudden I started to calm down and then I went into the meditation. So what is it? What do you want? What are the things that in your life that you can do that literally make you feel good? Because it doesn't necessarily even have to be about the thing that you desire. You don't necessarily even have to be looking at that. Because when you're in a feel good state and you're feeling great, you're going to take better action regardless if you're in a shitty state. Everything around you can't see, everything around you looks shitty because you're looking from that lens. But the moment you just start to feel good, now all the things, the color comes back into life. You know, you start noticing birds, leaves on trees, you start feel good. New ideas come, new creativity starts to emerge. So make the point to feel good. What makes you feel good? That's the next question. This is the like, if the goal is to feel good, how can we start to feel better? I gave you one example. For me, when one of the biggest things for me is music, when I hear music, it literally starts to pulsate and I start to. It brings my. I listen to Beats that are. It kind of. It's like house music, I guess, but the beat is very upbeat. It's almost like a heartbeat around like 90 beats per minute to 120 beats per minute. And it gets me in a state of excitement, a state of anticipation. How else can you do it? I look at old photographs. I look at photographs from my travels. I look at the times I had and remember how lucky and how grateful I am. Gratitude. Exactly what the photos were. I remember these great times. But I'm also grateful for having had those experiences. And it reminds me and gives me the perspective knowing that there's something bigger out there than this moment right here. Not to discount the moment right, because this is where everything happens. But it is important to realize where you are right now does not necessarily translate where you are tomorrow. Unless that's what your focus is. Where you are now is just the starting point. Come up with a couple other maybe it's talking to certain people, maybe it's reaching out to friends. Maybe you had a travel someone you met you haven't spoke to in years. But whenever you speak to them you always feel great and as a result it kind of feeds over to your day. Or maybe it's just getting out in nature. What are the strategies that you could put in place to start to make sure that you feel or enable yourself to feel good at the beginning of your day so that the actions that follow are all positive feel good actions and move you in the direction you want to go. I was getting out of yoga yesterday. This is kind of related but I felt inspired to do so. I'll say it anyways. I was talking with my friend Jennifer. I hadn't known. So Jennifer I met during yoga. She drinks my coffee. So I was asking her about her experiences with it and coffee in general and we started talking about travel. I had no idea that she was a traveler at her I seem to attract those people. It's pretty awesome, you know. So it's like my tribe. I love it when I hear that because it just kind of proves a point. The one that I'm on the right path and that I'm tracking the people who believe in the same thing. I believe. So we're talking about travel and she was telling me how she'd been to certain places. Greece when she was 19. I think she said when she was 19 she went there for maybe not 19. Anyways, she was in Greece and she ended up moving there for nine months. And she was saying how it was one of the best. Not was it was the best experience. Not one of them. It was the best experience of her life. And recalling that memory, she was saying how she wishes she can do it again and how she wants to sell her house. So this way she doesn't have to be settled down to one location. So this way she can, if she wants to live, go to New York. She loved being in the city. She loves being around people. She can go to New York. But if she wanted to drop everything and leave New York, she can go work a couple months in Rome, she can go to Greece. She can go anywhere in the world. I told her, I said, well, that's my aspiration too. But it's so funny that she was sharing this. And all of a sudden I started getting excited because again, it started to remind me of what I wanted. The people you surround yourself with, if you don't surround yourself around people who have similar goals, you're going to start taking yourself and attracting their goals, their ways of thinking, their beliefs. So be extra vigilant on who you spend your time with, because they affect what you're going to become more than anything else. So she's sharing this with me, and I'm like, you know what? Yeah, I agree. I want the same exact thing. The idea of not really being more nomadic, but placing experiences over things and just having. Experiencing the fullness and richness of life. So let me recap. Let's kind of go back to the beginning. What is it that you want? Right? We said so many people say they want something, but they don't take the action to get the thing that they say they want. Right. They're not taking actions that are congruent, that are going to move them forward towards that thing. Action. All right, all right. Well, action, right? There's different things in action. You can take big actions that'll get you nowhere. You can take big actions that'll get you to the thing you want. Or you could take actions that don't do anything. Maybe they take you further away. But the precursor to action should be the way we feel. And the way we feel is going to dictate what possibilities we see. Right. When we feel good, we tend to open up our view to see more of what's possible. We expand our view of, wow, this is what I want. This is the action I can take. We tend to take bigger steps because we feel good. Right. It's only logical when you're in love and the world's crumbling around you, but you're just focused on your partner. It doesn't matter. Life is beautiful, life is love. But when you feel in a state that literally you're stifled, you feel like the world is against you, what kind of actions do you want to take then? Little to no action. If you do, it's not going to be very good, right? So the point I'm trying to make is the precursor is how you feel. So before we can start to take actions, and yes, we want to know what we want, but that even will change when you get to a better feeling. So let's focus for the remainder of this podcast. My assignment to you. I was going to do different questions, but my assignment is this. What is it that makes you feel good? Right? Write down a list of five things right now. I'll take five seconds. Do it. What makes you feel good? Next? People who makes you feel good? Who do you put yourself around? Or when you're around this person who makes you feel empowered, Anything is possible. Or at the very least, they make you laugh and smile. Write those names. Write five names there. If you have five, it doesn't matter how many you have, as long as you're writing something. Take five seconds now and then the last question. When you think of the day, the things that kind of come into your day that don't make you feel good, will you use social media? I know most people who are listening to this probably have a social media account. Who do you follow where you see their post? And it just has this triggering effect, right? And you don't feel good. Write down those accounts here. Next, write what are five things that you could follow that would make you feel good, that would remind you of the goals you have for your body, for your spirit, for your family, for your adventure, for your health, whatever it may be, for your work, for where you want to live, anything. It doesn't matter what it is. But what are the five areas? And you could even use the first question that I asked you. What are the things that make you feel joyful? And start putting those and start to follow those tags. Follow the accounts that are posting on this and do this consciously. I want you to look at this list every single day, starting in the morning. Even if you don't make contact with the people, even if you aren't following the tags and going on a social media. The very act of just reading this list of the things that are going to make you feel good are going to put you in touch with the feeling that will start to generate positive, positive actions, positive results around you. Just notice and then notice. Take into account and then notice what kind of actions you want to take. After reviewing this, after getting to the state of feeling it, maybe you may find that your vision is all of a sudden changed. Like you say you wanted to do one thing. All of a sudden after feeling good, this thing expanded and ballooned into something you never even dreamed was possible. But it all starts with feeling good. That is all I've got for you guys today. This was a not where I initially wanted to go, but I say that it's divinely guided and wherever it was goes, it was meant to go because that's where it is. So if you enjoyed this podcast, please give it a thumbs up. Subscribe, Comment, ask questions. You can visit my website at www.donnyrouse.com again www. O n n Y-R-A u s.com that is what I've got for you guys today. I hope you enjoyed this. Thank you so much for tuning in. I hope you this in some way at the very least just made you aware of where you're putting your energies and gave you a little realignment to say, okay, well what can I focus on? What makes me feel good. But with that also realizing what makes you feel bad will put you in a states where you don't really feel good. So you can start to change that. You deserve to live the best life you can. You deserve to have a life full of joy, passion and excitement. So as always remember you get one life. Blive it. God bless and I will see you again soon.