Feel the Burn - Why Burnout Is a Good Thing

Most people spend their entire life stressed without ever giving a single thought as to what it is they really want or what's important to them. See, I'm here to cut through all that noise, connecting you to yourself and the life that you were meant to live. I used to slave away at a corporate job that I hated, but I broke through the social norms and pursued my passion. As a result, I own my own coffee company, I'm espresso sommelier, and I get to travel the world. You, too can live a life that you love, but it starts with getting clear about what you want. It starts with a new decision. I'm your host, Donnie Rouse, and you are listening to the podcast One Life. Have you ever felt like you were in a job and you just felt you couldn't give any more? Or that it was literally draining the life out of you? If you have ever felt that, chances are that you're feeling burned out. And I want to start by saying the reason for this podcast today was just because of some family member and friends who were going through exactly this. And it was something that I had been through early on in my career and even now. And the point of this podcast is to reframe what that burnout is. Because it's so easy to feel the burnout and all of a sudden feel like, oh, my God. And just feel drained. And as a result of that feeling drained, you almost just want to drown your misery in some kind of like alcohol or food or something to take your mind off what it is you're going through. If you have done that in the past, I want to give you a little shake just to not do that this time. Because what you're getting by experiencing that burnout is actually a gift. That burnout is saying, hey, things need to change here, and it is an opportunity to you for to start to reevaluate your life, start to put yourself first, start to do the things that matter to you. So where are you in your career right now? We'll use career because most people will experience burnout or will usually associate the burnout to their career. Maybe you have some kids, too, but you can't really get rid of them, right? But we'll start with a career. How are you feeling on a scale from 1 to 10? Like, where are you in your career emotionally? Do you feel like there's so much work that they just keep piling on and piling on so much so that you can't even keep up? And now you're working well into the evening when you should be actually taking it off and maybe it's even spilling into family time. So it's important here just to be real to yourself in terms of where you are emotionally and then get real with the consequences. We think that, you know, oh, well, it's just temporary, right? But how often do you say that and it is not temporary? Because I know when I was working in corporate America, I was working in corporate accounting and I remember being done with my work and then getting jobs from other, other head accountants. They would come over to my desk, hey, Donnie. Or sometimes, actually more often than I'm kind of, I'm kind of guilty of her because I would go up to them and I would say, hey, I'm done with my work. Do you have any work for me to do? And I was like, little goody two shoes. But it was my first job, so I was just trying to do a good job there. And I would go up to the job and I would request some work to do just if I could help them out. All of a sudden now everyone just kept piling this work on me and all of a sudden now I had responsibilities that were not even mine. Can you relate to that? Have you ever been given some responsibility or just maybe an increase in responsibility? Maybe it is your role. Maybe you just got an increase in responsibilities and now all of a sudden because you met those obligations, they're like, oh, this woman is superwoman. And they start piling on even more. Where are you again? If this sounds like your experience and your life, then I want you to just smile and be grateful. Not just grateful because you have job and looking at all the bright side, but really because it's a time to reconnect to. You see, the only time we ever make changes in our life is usually at that breaking point. Usually at that point where we're like, you know what, I can't take it anymore. Things must change and they have to change now. Maybe you are there and if you are there and if you were feeling the burnout, I want to give you three things that it's going to get you. One, to get healthy, two, to get clarity and three, to get out. My sister in law, I'll give you go into the story that inspired it all. I was talking to my sister in law and she's very successful what she does. And she had just been feeling more and more burnt out because of the demands management was making on her. Now she is in a role that she's very, very good at. I mean, you could put her in any role, and she would be very good at. But was it the role that was feeding her heart? Was it the role that would let her go home and have her fill up inside? Was it a role that would actually give her another. A social life as well? Right, because there's more to work than just going in, working all day, coming back, eating, sleeping, and then repeating. That is actually part of that thing that caused the burnout. She had just been doing some big, big events, and now she was feeling the burnout. She was feeling the burn. And yesterday she confided to us, she said, hey, you know what? I can't take it anymore. I am going to give my leave. I'm doing all this work. And now they're saying they want to do even more and increase the number of events I do. I can't take it. I don't have a life. I'm sacrificing. And she's sacrificing her social life. She's sacrificing her family. And she was at that breaking point. I told her, I said, listen, this is a very good thing. And she was going over how long she'd be able to get by on her, on our savings before it became worrisome. And my advice to her was like, all right, well, you know, you could. She could take multiple months off. I said, listen, take as much time as you need. You know, don't. Don't take a month off and be in a rush to go back to work. If you have that ability, or if you have. Let's pretend like you have three months saved, right? Three months security saved, maybe getting a job just to make that time extend out a little bit more. So instead of three months, but if you have a small supplemental income coming in, maybe all of a sudden now you can stretch out to five months. So what is the point of this, right? Like, why do that? The first one is to just get healthy. When you are working all those hours, when you're putting all that time in, chances are, one, you're not working out, right, because you don't have time to work out. Secondly, when you are eating, chances are you get home that night, you're not doing any kind of meal prep. You are tired. You're like, all right, screw this shit. I'm going to sleep because I can't even keep my eyes open. And then you wake up, what do you do? You go to McDonald's, you get a sausage, egg and cheese. You know, you get some kind of fast food because everyone's ordering at the Office because you guys are working overtime. They ordered McDonald's again. You're like, crap, I didn't know I could eat McDonald's multiple times a day. And all of a sudden you just start snacking on food that you know is not good for you. You know, it's not going to give you the energy you need and it's only going to make you feel shittier. And now of a salt, you start to break down. So it's a time to start to pay attention and, and rebuild your health. What else is it offered? What other opportunities are in that burnout, right? If you were feeling, you don't even have to leave a job in order to have this experience, right? Just by feeling that burn, all of a sudden you're like, oh, shit, things need to be corrected, right? What am I gonna do? Clarity. People don't know what they want, but they do know what they don't want. I mean, did I say it correctly? They don't know what they want, but they do know what they don't want. I just said it's slower and it sounds better. If I were to say, oh, what do you want for your life? You'd be like, I don't know, but. Or, what don't you want from my life? Oh, well, you know what? I don't want to live in this town forever. Or I don't want to work 15 hours a day and sleep too, and spend the rest of the time worrying all the time, you know, what you don't want. So the time is, you know, if you're still on the job and you don't have the time off, it's time to just start giving some thought as to what it is that you really want in all the areas of your life, right? Because every single area of your life is interconnected. There's no such thing as saying, you know what, in my, in my career, in my health, you know, I want, you know, six pack abs. I want, you know, a nice round chest, you know, very evenly proportioned, where, you know, the upper chest kind of bulges out a little bit and makes me look like Baywatch. I don't even know David Hasselhoff and I don't think he had a nice chest, but whatever it is. But then to think like, oh, yeah, this is what I really, really want, get clarity on that all of a sudden. But you realize it's not really possible. How are you gonna do that if you're working 15 hours a day? When are you gonna do workout? When are you gonna prep Your food. How are you gonna do it? So all of your life has to be integrated. All of your life has to feed each category. So getting clarity is super important, because if you don't know where you're going, the chances of you getting there are nil, right? It's like the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland. Can you tell me where or how to get somewhere? I don't even know what the heck the quote is, but he's like, can you tell me where we're going? She's like, I don't really care much at all. Then it doesn't matter where you're going. I think he was pointing in a direction somewhere. The same is true of your life. I used to have one of those posters that said, you can't get lost if you don't know where you're going. And I used to pride myself on that. I mean, I'm like, yeah, you know what? I travel, but I've also had travels where I've gone. And I'm like, what the frig am I doing here, right? I might end up somewhere. And although I got to check the box of the country, I just did it for that reason. And all of a sudden, I'm like, all right, well, I guess I'll just kind of look what's on in that corner over there. Visit this area of the city. But having a clear focus allows you to do the things that are aligned with you. So let's pretend that you have to drive to New York, right? You don't even have a compass, right? You just got in your 1989 Volkswagen Rabbit. I think they had made the rabbit in 89. And you're sitting there, right? There's no Wi Fi. There's no navigation system, but you're sitting there and you're like, well, I know that my house is positioned south, and, you know, if I drive that way, I'll be going west. But what happens, right? You know, you're driving towards west, but all of a sudden you start taking turns. There's, like, roundabouts, and all sudden you don't even know where. Where. Which way is north? The same is true for your life. Like, which way is your north? You need a north star in which to point. You need something to guide you. So that is the importance of having clarity. And at the very least, a general direction, a general idea of what it is that you want. Because just by having that general idea, what that does is it allows you just to take the next step. You don't have to know all the steps. But you have to have a general direction. You can't say, oh, well, what is the next. I'm just going to go for the next thing without knowing what that general direction is. If you take the next step without having a general direction now all of a sudden the next step you do is going to be inspired by something else. You're going to be on a different tangent. And then the next step, you get inspired, you're going to be on something else. And all of a sudden now you're watering down your efforts. Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication, right? By having simplicity, it allows you to point and be very, very precise. And let's go to that last point. This one is probably my favorite point. And I always advise anybody who's going through any kind of career transition, this is the number one thing I recommend, get out. Meaning get out of the town you're in. Get, get out of your comfort zone, Experience something different. Go to a different country and experience something. There's something to be said when you go into a different country that you've never been and you, you know, you let go of all like the luxuries and all the material poss here, all of a sudden, now your perspective is wide open. You start to see things differently, you start to value things differently, right? Because you're depending on how you travel. Like, I go to areas where I am looking at people. People are happy and they have nothing. They're eating like cornmeal for every meal. And yet they have their ability to smile as it makes you question. You're like, man, what have they got? It is making them happy aside from time because you were burnt out, remember? But it gives you time to not only get out and get new perspective, to start to tick off some of those bucket list items and things that are going to matter to you when you are gone or before you're gone. Because if you're gone all of a sudden, you're not going to really care about it. But when you're at the end of life, you don't want to get to the end of your life to say, you know what? I wish I did that. You know, I wish I didn't spend so much time working so I could have gone to, oh, I'll throw it out there because I always say it. Eat pizza in Naples, try coffee in Rome, see the Eiffel Tower, eat a baguette. Apparently I'm carb loading here. You don't want to get to the end of your life. And those are just experiential things, right? The harder things are like, you know what? I don't want to get to the end of my life and realize that I didn't spend time with my son or daughter or I didn't get time to spend it with family because I was always thinking about some bullshit that did not even matter. But let's go back to travel, right? You want to get out and see the world. I mean, I know that's one of the biggest things for me, as well as family. So the three big things that you get as a result of having that burnout, right? Because if you weren't experiencing the burnout, you would have just kept going with it. Because not until you turn up the threshold of that pain do you even stop to look, right? It's kind of like, you know, someone they, you need to take a job, right? You're looking to make some money to make ends meet. And you're like, you know what? Rather than look for the job that I'm going to be passionate in, I know I'm going to love. Let me just take this one. Because it's here. And all of a sudden, 14 years later, you're still at the same shitty job that doesn't fill you up. And if that is triggering in any way, it's meant to be because you deserve to be happy, right? It's easy to get caught in roles. It's easy to get caught in identities as well. And that's one that I have had trouble with as being a coffee professional, right? Because there are synchronicities like my intention here is to get you out and into your life, to experience more. That is one of the things that I want to do. And it's one of the things I know that if you get out and you start to just give yourself more love, more time, more experiences that I know it's going to change your life. Because no longer are you in the rat race. Now all of a sudden you're like, oh, wow, you know what? As a result of taking this trip, all of a sudden, now my eyes are open to this new opportunity or as a result of just giving myself more time for my health. I realize that now I feel good about myself, whatever it may be. And you don't even have to quit your job, right? You might be perfectly happy where you are. Having a business isn't right for everybody. I'll tell you, I had delusions when I went into my business. I mean, I don't regret it at all. I love my business. Although I sometimes I want a break from it and often do take a break from it. But nevertheless, I don't regret it. But I know it's not for everybody, right? And I like, if you had a. Some people love numbers, some people, you could put them and say, hey, crunch these numbers. Find the. Find the sequence. Or like the. Whatever it. I don't even know what it is. Some people look at numbers and they're like, oh, oh, there's the pattern. And they know exactly what they're looking at. I look at a screen of numbers and literally my head spins and I see like little numbers. It's like I feel like I'm on shrooms or something. Like the numbers literally will start to reorganize, reorganize themselves on the screen. No bullshit and no drugs or anything involved. That's what happens when I look at numbers. I could do it. Do I get enjoyment? Hell no. Am I. You know, I don't get filled up, so why do it? So I'm just. What I'm. The whole point of that little rant and numbers and tripping on something, I don't know what that is. Maybe caffeine was just to say that, you know, I'm not putting down being in a job in a corporate setting. As long as you like it, I do have an issue. If you are in the job and you are fucking dreading every moment of your life, then I have a problem with it, right? Because life is too short. You should enjoy your life, right? You spend so much time at work, at least bring some enjoyment to it, right? If every day is a miserable mess, then life is a miserable mess. Sure, there might be like the once in a while spurts where you feel good because maybe it's someone's birthday and someone brought in a sheet layer cake, right? And you're like, oh, well, I wasn't expecting that one. But you deserve to be happy. So I'm just saying that the point of all this was just saying if you are feeling burnt out, get clarity as to why exactly that is. Maybe, you know, the boss is making bigger demands on you, maybe you're in a job that you hate, get some clarity. And secondly, just start to take care and do things for you. That's the main point. Whether if you're an entrepreneur, whether you're in a corporate job that you love, but it just feels like it's a little bit too much right now. Allow yourself the grace to take a break, to give yourself the time to improve your health, to get clarity on what you want for the next 5, 10, 15, 20, 50 years of your life and then go do it right? Start to take action on some of those things that you want for your life. Again, this all goes back to the fact that life is too short, right? We think that life is going to go on forever. We think that everything is pervasive when it really is not. If you have parents who are in that age bracket where they're starting to get sick and need surgeries and you're confronted is right in your face, right? Because you're like, oh shit, yeah, eventually one day I'm going to have to go through this and you start to think about your own mortality. You start to think about your own decisions. So hopefully this lands well with you and just gets you to ask some better questions in terms of what you want for your life. So that is all I've got for you guys today. I hope you enjoyed this rant and this podcast. And if you're feeling burnt out, just start to do some probing in your own life and say, well, why am I feeling this? What is it about? Is it, do I love my job, my career? Does it leave me fulfilled? Do I feel great doing it? But it's just too much work? Probe, understand what it is that you're feeling. So this way you can correct it, but also try to get some clarity as to just what you want for your life. Where there are some misalignments and of course, take the trip, right? You get vacation. Most people in the United States get at least a couple weeks vacation, maybe three weeks, maybe hope. But do something, step beyond your comfort zone. Experience something different. I know once you get out there in the world, once you put yourself in different surroundings with different people, you start to appreciate. You realize that one, we're all the same. Two, that there's so much great stuff out there in terms of experiences that you don't need. The, you know, the fancy car, the diamond ring and all that stuff. While all of it's nice, right? I'm not, not saying anything against that too. I would like a nice Omega Seamaster Planet Ocean Watch chronograph though. Material things are nice. Experiences will live with you forever. That is all forgot for you guys. I hope you enjoyed this post. If you did, please hit that subscribe button. Share it with a friend, someone, maybe someone who hates their, their life and their job at this moment. Send it to them so this way they can get a little bit of perspective and start to question some of their upcoming decisions. As always, you could subscribe you could ask a question or comment via my website at www.donnierouse.com again www.donnie d o n y rous r a u s.com and stay tuned. We're in the middle of doing a new launch on a website, so it'll be all cool things, some freebies, some educational stuff, as well as some private groups that you can join. If this everything I'm speaking here about the experiencing more of life is your thing. So that is all I've got for you guys today. I hope you enjoyed this podcast. Remember, you only get one life. Live it. God bless and I will see you again soon.