Feet First

Hi, guys. My name is Donnie Rouse and you're listening to the podcast One Life Feet First. When going after something for the first time, it may make more sense to break it into small milestones or put on the training wheels. Doing so will let it make it less shocking to your system because now instead of looking at that thousand step marathon you're doing at, you're only taking that first step. It'll give you less overwhelm because again, focusing on that first step, there's a lot less stimuli, a lot less things you need to focus on, versus if you're trying to think of every step you had to do along the way. And then lastly, it gives you confidence because as you complete one step and complete the next, now you're building the confidence. That confidence compounds until you're at that place where you don't even know how you got there, but you're there and you're celebrating. I was in San Juan, Puerto Rico, with my friend Greg, and we decided that we were going to drive across the country to a place called Rincon. On the way to Rencon, we decided that we were going to stop at a place called Cascada Gazlandia, which was these two beautiful pools that had waterfalls feeding them. When we got there, my friend Greg quickly dived in the pool and he went on to the first level, dove off, got to the second level, which is about 15ft high, jumped off, and then soon after that he was at the top, which was about 30, maybe 40ft, and jumped in. I, on the other hand, took a slightly slower approach. So prior to this trip, I'd only done cliff diving one other time and it almost ended in a disaster. I jumped off in Bermuda. I was cliff diving and I think the height was about 30ft. And when I went to jump off this cliff, my knees literally buckled. And as I fell from this 30ft high rock, I came so close to actually hitting the rocks at the edge from barely clearing them. My friends who were in the ocean watching me, their hearts nearly dropped. They said they. They thought I was a goner. So. And I kind of felt it there. I literally, just me and water, typically in the past, hadn't had a good relationship, but nevertheless, this is a new trip and I figured I would slowly start to push my comfort zone a little. So I went up to the first step, which is about, again, maybe five feet high. Looked at it, there was a little bit of a rock that I had to clear, but nevertheless, I felt pretty confident because it didn't seem like it was that high up. So I closed my eyes, jumped out and landed in the center of the pool. Catching my breath, I got back up on the rock. I said, okay, time to do the next step. So I went, I walked. You know, I climbed through the waterfall and went to the second ledge. And one of the things I should tell you about this second ledge there was actually like kind of like two ledges. So one was about 15ft high. And then there was a step above that had another foot on it. And I went up there and there was a tour guide who was helping this other couple jump off the different spots of this waterfall. And they had jumped off. So I was next in line and he was waiting behind me. So when I got there, I was a little bit kind of shaky and he could sense it. So he was guiding me, helping me figure out how to get my footing. So he told me, hey. He said, listen, the most important thing for you right now is to get the right footing, because that footing is what's going to allow you to jump off into the waterfall and, and to make sure that you clear the rocks. I was like, well, isn't that a metaphor for life? So I was putting my foot in this place where people before me had literally had their footing. I say that because you can see there was like the imprint of a heel. And with my heel there I was looking out over the, over the pool and the rocks that had to clear. But I was a little shaky. Like, I didn't feel like the footing was. I didn't feel stable on my right foot. So hence I questioned whether or not I would be able to clear the rocks. The only other spot for me to jump was this other ledge which was one foot higher. And the funny thing about when you're doing any kind of jump like that is from afar it looks like it's barely nothing, right? You're looking at it, you're like, oh, that doesn't seem that high. I can clear that. But when you're up there, that 15 foot jump looks something like 500ft. And then when you have to take that one foot higher, all of a sudden that's like a thousand, right? It has like a multiplier of like three. So I get on this higher step that would allow me to have better footing. And I'm looking over the edge and I am literally crapping myself. I'm looking at it and I'm not. And I'm noticing the more I look at it, the more fearful I am about making that jump. And he's telling me. He's like, listen, you just got to jump. You just got to look, get your footing, look out there and just leap towards the center. But make sure you hit the center of that pool because it's shallow on the sides. All right, thanks. Thanks for adding to it. So I looked there, I was about to jump. I kind of said, 1, 2, and then froze right before I said 3. And I kind of stepped back and had a breathe. Now people are starting to. More people are starting to come down to this pool, and everyone there, now there's a bunch of onlookers. I'm like, oh, great. Now I gotta do it. I can't climb back down this waterfall. So I looked at it. I'm like, okay. I got the. Made sure I had the right footing, took a deep breath, and I said, and something I had known before is that it only takes five seconds of courage. You only need five seconds of courage. Not even five seconds. You could do it with three, meaning 1, 2, 3, jump, and you go for it. So as I was sitting there, I said, one, two, three. And I leapt. I jumped and hit the center of the pool. And it was a little bit shaky, but it didn't feel as dangerous, as frightening as I thought before. Inspired by this, I said, you know what? Maybe I will try the top of the waterfall. Do the entire 30ft. So I climbed up the rope and like that. That leads you to the back of the waterfall where you climb up these steps. And I kind of looked out there. I was like, nuh, that's not happening. And I made my way back down through the rope, and. And we sat there a little bit longer, and then we kind of continued on our drive. In the car, I was talking to my friend. I was, you know what? I'm a little disappointed that I didn't do the jump from the top. He's like, well, why are you disappointed? I was like, well, you know, because, I mean, well, first of all, you did it. And I kind of, you know, had the expectation that I should be able to jump from that same spot. And then he gave me an insight. He said, well, listen, you were nervous about doing that the second jump, right? And then you had to go a step higher, and you were nervous about that. I said, yeah, you're right. He says, well, don't beat yourself up. You've jumped, right? You went to a place where you felt uncomfortable, and then you actually took it a step higher where you were even more uncomfortable, and you jumped nonetheless, I thought about that, and I said, well, it makes so much sense and it's so typical of life, right? We look at people and where they are, we look at the experience when we want to have, and we would look at people who are having that experience and we make these assumptions, well, you know what, we should be there. Why is it so difficult for us? But on the flip side, we don't know where they are starting. I mean, I don't even know Greg for him to jump up there that fast. He'd probably done this several times over, right, to make him comfortable. Because now he has that prior experience that makes him say, yes, I can do this. Let me jump up there. Without even looking at the rocks to see if he was going to clear him, he just got up there and jumped right in. It takes confidence. He probably did that before I didn't, or I've done it once and it was almost disastrous. So I brought a different set of circumstances, different belief systems to it, but I did it nonetheless. So I was like, well, you know what? Yeah, it totally makes sense. We can't compare ourselves to others because we don't know where the other people are starting, but we know where we're starting. And if taking that jump of taking that next step pushes against that zone of fear, a belief system that we have and we go beyond it, then that is growth. About a week later, I met a girl in San Juan, because I went back to San Juan and I met a girl who wanted to make that same drive across country. Having liked Rincon, I said, you know what, if you're looking for someone else, I will totally, you know, I'll take the drive with you again. We'll split the cost. And she obliged. So I told her about this waterfall, these waterfalls, and she's like, oh, that sounds awesome. Let's go there. So we stopped over there. And she, on the other hand, she had done like the five foot jump. She had done that first one, jumped off and then looked at the second one. She's like, oh, man, I don't know if I can do it. I, on the other hand, went to that second one and with less time, I got up in that, that ledge and with less time up there, I literally got up, I said, 1, 2, 3, and jumped off without a second thought. Did I go up to the top of the waterfall? No, I didn't. I did not go up to the top of the waterfall. But the point of the story with the point I'm trying to make is that there was less time to think about, like the recovery Time, or whatever you want to, whatever you want to call it, or refractory period. The first time I went to that middle waterfall, it took me a while to jump off. I was scared. And then I eventually did. But the second time around, I went up there in three seconds, I was in the pool. So this is a metaphor for life, whether it be that trip you're doing, maybe you want to go to Europe, but you've never traveled alone. What I want you to grasp from this podcast here is that set yourself up to win. If it is that solo trip to Europe and you've never done before, and it scares the living piss out of you, take it with a group. Because more likely than not, what is scaring you is the uncertainty of not knowing what to expect. But when you go with a group, all of a sudden now you're comfortable doing it and it becomes more, it becomes easier. Now when you go on that next trip, you're already familiar with what it feels like to be in this continent, in this country where you're like, oh, that's easy, okay, I'll do it by myself. So you visit that country you did before by yourself, and all of a sudden now you've mustered up the courage to go out and try something new. Now you're in a new continent, in a country where you don't even speak the language. So this is just one simple step for you to kind of push those, the boundaries of your comfort zone and to expand and grow. So what is one thing that you can do? What is one decision? What is one experience you want to have but you haven't done it because of fear? Write it down. And then next I want you to write maybe one or two things, only a couple things. What are things that you can do to make it easier or make it more bite sized where you could slowly build your confidence. In the case of this waterfall thing, it was a matter of literally jumping off in different stages. Not going directly to the top of the waterfall, but say, okay, 1 foot, 15ft, 16ft, and then going back and doing it again. So this way you actually get it into your body and it's easier. Now all of a sudden, if I were to do a few more times, I'd probably go even faster. And now the 30 foot jump at the top wouldn't seem that bad. That is all I've got for you guys today. I hope you enjoyed this podcast. If you did, please give it a share, give it a thumbs up, leave a review, and if you have any questions, you can send me a message via Instagram @donnY-O-N n y r a u s.com donnY-O-N n y R a u s that's my website, not Instagram, but the my Instagram is onnyrous D o n n y r a u s I hope you enjoyed this podcast. God bless you guys and I will see you again next week.