Find an Excuse - Choosing Self Empowerment

Most people spend their entire life stressed without ever giving a single thought as to what it is they really want or what's important to them. See, I'm here to cut through all that noise, connecting you to yourself and the life that you were meant to live. I used to slave away at a corporate job that I hated, but I broke through the social norms and pursued my passion. As a result, I own my own coffee company. I'm the espresso sommelier, and I get to travel the world. You, too, can live a life that you love, but it starts with getting clear about what you want. It starts with a new decision. I'm your host, Donnie Rouse. You are listening to the podcast One Life. Find an excuse. At any given moment in your life, all options are available to you. When you think of a desire that you have, you're like, well, sure, all options are available to me. I mean, it sounds like it's kind of like fairy dust, right? All right, well, if all options are available to me, well, where's the thing? And I'm here to tell you that, like, you can have anything you want in life. What you have to do is keep that thing that you want and focus, but also be aware of everything around you that's there supporting you, that's pointing you in that direction, of your dream, of that desire. The inspiration for this podcast episode came from a New Year's Eve program I was watching. And after this last year that we've all been through with COVID and everything else, some people, including yours truly, kind of felt like, man, what a year. I feel like I was put through the wringer. But then this person said, listen, we live in the greatest country on the planet. You can choose to believe that, or you could choose not to believe it. It's kind of like going to the gym. You can choose to go to the gym, or you can find an excuse not to. The choice is yours. When I heard that, I thought of everything that I had experienced over this past year. I thought about all the people I'd met. I thought about all the experiences I had. And this year, even though we were, like, in the second year of COVID there wasn't any lack in that. I had a lot of good experiences. I learned a lot. I moved forward with my business, but I was asking myself a shitty question. And as a result, I wasn't able to. I was looking for what was wrong rather than what was right. I was looking for where I was blocked rather than new opportunities that arrived in my life. So there are a Few questions I want you to ask yourself before I go into this next dialogue. It's like, what is the desire? What is that thing that you say that you've wanted all year, all your life? And then how do you feel about it? Like, have you felt like you're moving towards it? Or do you feel like you're moving further away from it? And then lastly, well, second to last, what has been your focus? Have you been focusing on all the stuff that's not going your way, or have you been focusing on those little steps that are slowly inching you towards that desire? And then lastly, what proof is there to tell you that you're moving towards the thing that you want? So again, forgetting those last three questions, where's the proof? If you had to look for it, just like you could find an excuse to go to the gym or not go to the gym, find an excuse to look for the proof, the validation that you are moving towards the thing that you want. I looked over this past year. One of the desires I have been was to have the freedom to travel around the world and literally spend a lot of my time remotely inspiring people through the podcast, through the ritual of coffee with, while also maintaining, like, rouse coffee and continue to put out like awesome products. I had hit that wall. When I looked at my focus, like, my focus was like, man, this is never happening. I feel stuck. I couldn't see the steps, the path being laid out ahead of me, right? All these things would line up, but I wasn't able to see it. Over, like, the last year, a lot of things have been popping into my mind, like new learnings, new ways of looking at problems. And as a result of this wider perception, this consciousness, I was able to get more clarity as to what it was that I wanted and also just kind of see how things were lining up. I started to say, well, if everything is available to me, what is in my life right now that is showing me that this is the path forward? There were changing how I was roasting some of the coffees to a place where I can automate everything and I have order fulfillment, changing how I'm brewing my cold Roman espresso, people I've met who can help me get there. Also just this vision, this openness of my mind to say, okay, you know what? Before I always said, well, no, it's not possible. I have to stay here. There's no possible way I could have this life that I desire because I have to be here doing all these things. I was micromanaging myself and then I started to say, well, you know, maybe that's not right. If this is what it's going to take for me to feel good, you know, isn't that, doesn't. The fact that I have this desire means that it is possible. Once I took that mindset or that stance, then all of a sudden you start to look at everything and you realize that everything in your life is aligning you, right? Maybe you're in a shitty relationship and you're like, man, why do I keep having shitty relationships? What's going on? But you keep going back to the same type of people because there's a lesson to learn. There's something for you to move past. And that moving past it is what's going to help you evolve to inch closer to that perfect relationship that you want. The same thing can be said for with anything. Take your personal health, for example. That pain in your knee because you sit on the couch all day and you watch TV or some, whatever it may be. It's like this wake up call saying, hey, you know what, something needs to happen here. And you could look at it and say, you know what? My, my knee is bothering me and I can't do anything. I can't get out of that. I can't get off the couch. I guess I'm just kind of doomed to sit here. Or you could look at it as, you know what? This is a nudge. I had better change quick. What can I do now to start to get some exercise? I had a family member who had gone through a, who has gone through a surgery and, and they weren't really able to do anything. So they were, because they couldn't really move in order to get some exercise, they would start moving, the fluttering their arms just to have some movement while. It's a silly example, but it still makes sense, right? Because what is losing weight, right? Burning more calories than you consume in the simplest form? I guess some people have issues with thyroid, whatever. That's not where I'm going. What I'm trying to say is that if you're committed to something, there's always a way. What you have to do is just look where you're being guided, see those obstacles as opportunities. Tony Robbins likes to say, well, see those obstacles as a challenge. I don't really like calling it as a challenge because for me, like sometimes that seeing it as a challenge is kind of like this masculine energy, like, oh, I gotta break through and arrive at the other side. Because sometimes, at least for me, that causes tension to me, sometimes I'M like, man, yeah, yeah, I could muster up the energy, but it's really exhausting. But rather than look at it as just a path in my evolution, saying, well, this is where I'm being guided when I get past this, what is left? What, like, what's next, right? And realize that it's just a slight nudge forward. It's not this push. It's not a wall you have to break through. It's a nudge forward to say, here, this is what's. This is what I'm presenting to you next. Let's get past this, and we'll worry about the next thing when that comes. But this is what's in front of you right now. Keep doing that, and you'll arrive at that space where you're like, wow, this is what it was all for. I love the quote by Steve Jobs. He says, you can't connect the lines looking forward. You could always connect them looking back. Because whether we like to acknowledge it or not, we're being guided every single step of the way, right? Because that's when you look back, you're like, oh, yeah, no wonder. That's why it all makes sense. And you start to connect the dots. I mean, I look back, I'll give you an example of my coffee, for example, like, Cold Roman. When I look back at everything that had transpired, I was in a career that I didn't, like. I was working corporate. I was with a girl that I didn't love. I just felt like she had all the check marks. She checked all the boxes. So I felt like I had to stay with her. And. And I had family pressure as to not to travel, but to just start working. All these things happen. When I look back at, like, these synchronicities. There were people in my life, like one of my good friends, Cynthia, who like, you know, help me look for the things that I really desired, like, and fed and kind of, like, fanned the flames, like, oh, go travel. Go do this. And all these things just kind of lined up. I conceived the idea for Cold Roman Espresso. I mean, even that trip in 2006, there were all these things that happened where I couldn't have planned it if I tried in my wildest dreams. And it's one of the. Like, that trip there was actually probably one of the things that literally stirred my passion to want to travel the world. If I were looking at it from back in 2006, there's no way I would have been able to see all that. But when I look back at it today? I'm like, yeah, well, you know, that's where the passion started with for espresso. That's where I got the inspiration to want to see and experience different cultures and make friends around the world. I could only connect to going back. So let's bring it back around to the energy that you're putting in towards that desire that you want. What is it that you desire? Like, what is that thing that you feel like has been eluding you for your entire life? How have you felt about it? Like, we want to know, like, what is this exchange you're having? Do you feel like the energy you're moving towards the thing is like you're moving towards? Or do you feel like you're always moving away? And that is just a way of focusing, because what you're focusing on, you're creating the reality. Where's your focus been? Again, just acknowledging. Where has your focus gone? And then what do you have to focus on to see that things are moving forward again? This comes with the. With the truth that all options are available to you, available to you all the time. It's just, what kind of question are you asking yourself? I'll give one little kind of side story. And it kind of goes. It's. You'll see how it equates. But I was out at a. I was out at a bar, and financially, like, one of the things I would always compare myself to, it was like, all right, well, what does it mean to be. To be wealthy? Right? That's. This is a completely different episode. But just bear with me. And I would compare myself to some people. I'm like, all right, well, compare myself to a person who walked by who looked very dabber, and I'm like, well, wait a minute. Why am I judging myself based on this person? What criteria am I using to judge myself? When I looked at that, I was using, like, a dollar amount, which is stupid anyways, because first of all, I'm making a judgment on someone who's walking by me, and I have no clue what's going on in their life. Right? But then, like, well, what other ways are there to measure? I mean, I. Like, I also believe that the best measure of somebody is there's. Is their character, nothing else. But what other units to measure. Like, if someone were looking at me, how would they measure me based on maybe the results they've had in their life? The one I pulled from my mind was like, health. If they saw me, like, the person wasn't in the best of shape, they looked at me. They're like, well, wow, this person is in great shape. He must have all this stuff together. So what I'm trying to get at is it's all a matter of where you are putting your focus and you how you put you use your focus is going to determine how you feel. That's all I've got for you guys today. Again, this was a spontaneous episode. I was just. The thought popped in my mind, I was like, let me just jump on here. I want to record it because I think it'll be of value to you, especially since we are at the beginning of a new year and it's all about where you're putting your focus because that is where you're going to be go moving towards. I hope you enjoyed this episode. God bless. Thank you guys so, so much for tuning in because I know you can do a million other things. As I say over and over, there's a million things you can be doing. But you chose to stay here with me because hopefully it's enriching your life in some way. So I want to say thank you for tuning in. If you have any questions, if you want to buy some awesome coffee or maybe sign up for one of my coffee dates where we do, you know, life planning, planning your year, doing workshops, whatever it may be, you can do so by visiting donnyrous.com d o n n y r a u s.com that is all I've got for you guys today. Again, don't forget to hit that subscribe button so this way you don't miss a single episode. God bless and I will see you again soon.