Get a Life - Prioritizing Priorities

Most people spend their entire life stressed without ever giving a single thought as to what it is they really want or what's important to them. See, I'm here to cut through all that noise, connecting you to yourself and the life that you were meant to live. I used to slave away at a corporate job that I hated, but I broke through the social norms and pursued my passion. As a result, I own my own coffee company, I'm espresso sommelier, and I get to travel the world. You too can live a life that you love, but it starts with getting clear about what you want. It starts with a new decision. I'm your host, Donnie Rouse, and you are listening to the podcast One Life. Get a Life. Planning is your priorities in action. Said differently that when we plan the things that are important to us, we get to follow through. Or we tend to follow through much more. Because if you don't start planning the things that are important from you, what happens? The things that don't really matter? The day to day demands of life come in and all of a sudden now you are lost. So if you want to really dig in the stakes and say, all right, well, this is not working for me, like, how can I get more enjoyment out of the day? How could I get more enjoyment out of life? It comes with prioritizing your priorities. So what are your priorities? Do you even know what your priorities are? A lot of people fail to ask, what is it that I want out of this day? What is it that I want out of this life? What is it that I want for my body? What is it that I want for my social life or my relationships? And as a result of not asking those questions, you just get more of whatever comes to you by default. So unless you're planning, you're not really going to get anything. You're literally, it's kind of like going with the tide. You don't know what you're going to get. You may get a wave that's going to literally topple you and knock you over and send you in spirals. And you do not want that. So before we go any further, let's start to get clear. What are your priorities in life? This might be a triggering question because by asking that question, you might realize, well, you've been living life all wrong. You've been living outside of your priorities and prioritizing things that don't really even matter. Once you have identified your priorities, how often do you put them into your day? How often do you make time to at least dabble with the idea or maybe take a small step forward in some of the things that you want to plan for your life. If you're like most people and you realize and you haven't been doing that, the next step is, let's start to plan. Like, how can we plan and really implant these things in our lives? This way they don't get missed out, they don't fall out, that we have a container in which to hold them that comes with planning. So it's like, well, how can we plan these in our daily. Sometimes it's difficult to plan for the day or for the week, but if we look months out, it's quite easy to plan, right, because there's more flexibility. You know that something's out there. So this way you could plan and anticipate things that are going to come up in order for you to have that experience that you want. And then lastly, and most importantly, you have to make that commitment to yourself. If you are failing to make that commitment to yourself, or you say you're going to do something but then you fall off, you're really doing yourself a disservice. You're saying, well, yeah, I gave my word, but my word doesn't really mean much. And the most important person for your word to have value is for yourself. So we've established our priorities. We realized, well, maybe we weren't that good at doing the things we said we were going to do. And we haven't been holding ourselves accountable. That's going to change now. No longer will you say, I will do this when? Or, yeah, you know, I have to do this first, but then I will do that, right? People do that with their relationships. They do it with their kids, their family, with the trip. Oh, well, yeah, I'll do that, but I'm just too busy at work. My intention for even creating this podcast was to give you that little shake, to realize there's always going to be things coming up in your day, but you have to prioritize your priorities, not prioritize your to do list. That's the only way you're gonna move forward. That's the only way you're gonna get any kind of fulfillment and joy out of life. So let's think, let's look at life like making time for the things that matter. As I said in the beginning of this podcast, planning is prioritizing or your priorities in action. So a lot of people may have trouble planning for the day, for the week, but what if you literally planned at the beginning of the year? Planned like the Big items like, you know, I don't know if you ever heard the analogy of a fishbowl where you fill it with stones. First you put the large boulders, then you put the medium sized boulders, then you fill the small ones, the small pebbles. Fill in all that extra space, that extra space, those small pebbles, that's the work, the stuff that comes in day to day, the large stones, those are the relationships you have with people, the experiences you want to have. So you want to plan those at the beginning of your year, at the beginning of your month, your week, whatever it may be, even at your day, right? Because maybe an interaction with your spouse or your children or your really, really good friend is that giant boulder. The thing that matters more to you than the emails that you have to check, make a point, put it on your schedule to check in and do it regularly. Secondly, how do we prioritize our priorities again? By prioritizing yourself and taking a moment in your day just to breathe. You could get so wrapped up in your day that you forget that life is only happening right now. There is no moment outside of this moment. So when you realize that and you put things in perspective, you're like, well, what the hell really matters, right? I'm worrying about this email, this deadline that might get pushed back a day, and you're making it a life or death situation, but it really doesn't matter, right? In the grand scheme of things, if you were to look back 10 years later, you know, 10 years looking back, you wouldn't, you would not remember this event, but maybe you would remember a sunrise, maybe you would remember an experience or a moment you had with someone that you love. But take a moment in your day to literally take a breather, to appreciate where you are, to appreciate that you're alive, to be grateful for the moment that you are in. And then lastly, this is more of like a commitment. I'm going to go into it a little bit, but like a commitment to yourself. Make that commitment with yourself and hold it. The word you have with yourself is the most important, right? It's the greatest agreement you could have with a person is the one you have with yourself. Hold yourself in integrity. This past weekend I was out with a friend and we were talking about traveling and he was saying how he wanted to travel a lot more, but he couldn't because of his work. Now, I know he's a fairly new friend, but in the small time that I've known him, I know that there are some stories that he's telling. He has a great job. He lives in New York City, which is an expensive city to live, but it's kind of like no different than Connecticut and a bunch of the other areas around here. And I know some of his pastimes that cost some money. So if he wanted to, he could easily put a pause on some of those activities and transfer those funds over to his travels. So he was saying, well, you know, I wish I had this, but I always feel like I am, you know, I can't plan anything, he said, because I'm always, you know, things come up last minute. It's only last minute that I could plan. Tell me if you could find the fault in that story that he's telling himself. The reason why he's so pressed for time and he thinks that he could only. He believes that he can only plan things last minute is because he let his life get out of control. He started prioritizing his to do list and the demands that are coming at him rather than prioritize his life. One of my most productive years, I would say, that I can remember. And it's just because some of the things I had planned, I think it was 2019. 2019, I became an espresso sommelier. I traveled Vietnam, which was insane. Like, it's one of the best travel experiences I've had. But then I also built a well in Kenya with the help of all of my Rao's coffee family. And all of that started by a planning process at the beginning of my year saying, well, all right, well, what do I want this year to be about? What would it look like in my family life? What would it look like, contribution? What would that look like for the excitement and the adventurous part of my life? And I planned out these significant events, and as a result, they came to fruition. I experienced them. Let's look at your day. How often do you stop in your day to say, you know what? I am going to take a breather. I am just going to take a step away, gather my thoughts, maybe meditate for two minutes, right? Like, who can't afford two minutes? Center yourself. So this way you can bring a better part of you in the day and not even just about bringing a better part of you into the day, but taking a moment to just be grateful for it. Because it's so easy to get wrapped up in the bullshit that comes in and out of your life on a daily basis and give too much significance and emphasis to the stuff that doesn't matter. A good friend of mine, she was going through some things with her family like, her. Her mother wasn't really feeling well. And as a result, I called her to say hello because I hadn't spoken to her in a while. And all of a sudden it was this very frantic. She really didn't even have time to gather thoughts. Like, literally, it was just like, words coming out. And I was like, whoa. But then I said, listen, take a breath. And she slowed down. All of a sudden, the thoughts became more coherent, meaning she just put things in perspective. Of course, she had every right to worry about someone that she loves, but in that centering and realizing that everything is going to be okay, she had a lot of things going on with her business as well, and she was putting a lot of stress on herself that wasn't necessary. Like, well, you know, what are these people going to think about this launch? And I was like, relax. The people who are following you are people who love you and respect you and admire you. They understand. They understand. That's just one instance of putting things in perspective, but. And putting things in perspective for the things that matter, right? Like taking care of a loved one. That is a big boulder. If there's anything, it's a huge boulder, right? Because those are the people who are closest to you, the people that matter most. You want to take care of them. But let's look at just taking a moment for enjoyment a few days ago, or I don't even know if it was a few days ago, or I think it might have been yesterday. I do it pretty frequently. So I was doing work on my computer, and I just felt. I felt like I was hitting a wall, like it was a struggle. I was writing out the podcast yesterday. Yeah, it was yesterday. I was writing out the podcast and. And I was like, you know, putting in my notebooks this way I could come on here. And I have just some points, some talking points that I want to hit when I talk about a given topic. And there was a point in my day where I was like, ah, just I felt anxious, I felt tension in my body, and I was conscious enough to be aware of what was going on. And I was wondering, what do I need right now? I was like, I need to get out of the house. I've been in my room trying to write this, but I need to get out. It was a beautiful day yesterday. I just need some fresh air. All right, well, what can I do? One of my favorite things to do, obviously, is to have a coffee, and there's only a select few places that I'll actually go to for a shot of Espresso. In Stanford. So I said, screw this, I'm going to go out. I went down to Capriccio's in downtown Stanford for a shot of espresso and I figured, you know, I'll bring my notebook and I will write, I'll do my writing there, I'll do my brainstorming there. This way, you know, I'm in a different environment. I'm having an espresso which is, you know, puts me in like this European state of mind. So that's what I did. I went down there and as a result of being down there, I just was writing. I felt great because I had some social interaction which sometimes that could get lost in the day to day stuff because I'm either bagging coffee, doing something, unless I'm doing a market, going to the gym. A lot of the time I don't get the social interaction that I want and love. As an extrovert. I mean, it's like you start off with zero coins and every interaction you get, it's like adding a coin to your bank versus introverts who do the exact opposite, right? They start off with a set number of coins and every interaction actually subtracts the coin. So I needed the social interaction. As a result of doing that, I end up feeling much, much better. Ended up going to the gym afterward, getting a workout, and then came back and started doing some more work. I tried doing the podcast last night and it was not successful because my mind was a little bit tired. So note to self, do not do podcasts in the evening unless I feel really, really inspired and then I'll jump on. But for the most part, I realized that I need to give myself that space at the end of my day, not feel. I did say I was going to do the podcast, but I felt like I had this. There's this compulsion to do it when I could have just relaxed, make time. When's the last time you took a break in your day if it's not even for a coffee? I spent two hours there at the cafe writing. You could spend five minutes taking a walk outside or just taking a step outside the front door, looking around at the nature around you. That alone will actually bring down your stress level and give you a little bit more perspective on life. And the last thing I want to touch upon is just the commitment. So many people are more committed to the promises they make for others and the promises they make for themselves. And this is an issue because when you are not committed to the promises you make to yourself, when you break Those promises, you start to lose faith in yourself. You're like, well, yeah, I did that, but you know, I said I was going to do that, but it doesn't work. Ah, it's okay. And you kind of start to brush it under the carpet. Let us decide today that we are going to make and take a stand for ourselves, right? That you're going to say, this is what I am committed to doing. I am going to hold true to my word for nobody else but for myself. I am going to prioritize my priorities. So let's go back to the beginning. What are your priorities in life? What do you want to experience? How do you want to interact with people? What are the big boulders that are going to make your life memorable and worth living next? Schedule them into your day. If we're looking at a week and you realize, you know what, I really just like going for walks. Schedule at least a couple walks in your day. Maybe it's morning, maybe you have to wake up earlier in order to get to the gym. You love working out, but lately it felt like you didn't have any time. Maybe it's just getting to the gym a little bit earlier or having a five minute session before you start your day, doing some push ups and sit ups, something to get some physical activity into your life. It doesn't have to be a zero sum game. Whatever those priorities were, schedule them in your week. Again, let's start baby steps. Let's not even think about the big boulders of the trips and all these other experiences you want to have. Let's start with the small things because then you can build on them. And then lastly, let's commit to ourselves, commit to yourself. Say I do this, I am going to do X. And when you do it, even it will help to put your hand over your heart, to close your eyes and to when you say the words, have them literally penetrate your core. Feel it. It's a completely different understanding in your body when you do that. Because now all of a sudden, as a result of taking that moment, to really let it sink in, when you're going through your day, your mind or that spiritual or whatever that aspect is inside of you is going to let you know when you're falling off. Donnie, you said you were going to do this and you may veer off and the voice is going to come back and say up. Correct. Remember, we committed to this. You were worth it. Your life is worth it. Prioritize your priorities. That is all I've got for you guys today. Hope you enjoyed this podcast. If you did, please subscribe. Please give it a thumbs up or if you have a question or comment, you can send them to me via my website@www.donnierouse.com that is D O N N Y R A U S.com thank you so much for tuning in. I hope you enjoyed this episode. If you like what I am talking about, this planning process, I'm going to be doing a dream casting workshop at the beginning of the year where I am going to take you on a guided journey. We're going to do exactly what we spoke about today. We're going to say, well, what is it that we want to experience this year? What are the emotions we want to have? We're going to really manifest and get it into our body what it is that we want and then we're going to schedule it with this process. You're going to say, okay, well how do I make sure that this is always in the forefront of my mind? And then you will take that with you into the rest of your year. And then a year from now you're going to come back and you're going to tell me how amazing of that year was. All because of this planning process details. Will you could send me an email via my website if you're interested in that. Details will be posted shortly. Again, that's donnyrous. D o n n y R A U s dot com Again, thank you so much for tuning in. God bless you and remember, you get one life. Live it. Thank you very much.