Guiding Values - Live Life Using Your Own Internal Compass

Most people spend their entire life stressed without ever giving a single thought as to what it is they really want or what's important to them. See, I'm here to cut through all that noise, connecting you to yourself and the life that you were meant to live. I used to slave away at a corporate job that I hated, but I broke through the social norms and pursued my passion. As a result, I own my own coffee company, I'm espresso sommelier, and I get to travel the world. You, too can live a life that you love, but it starts with getting clear about what you want. It starts with a new decision. I'm your host, Donnie Rouse, and you are listening to the podcast One Life Guiding Values. Each of us is born with this intrinsic sense of values. I'm reading the book the other 90% by Robert Cooper, and in the current chapter, he's talking about values and how everyone has these intrinsic values. If you imagine yourself being grounded, like literally through the center of your heart, these are values that are unique to us, that allow us to live a life that we find fulfilling, a life that we love. And, you know, here on this podcast, I am all about creating the life that you love, a life that you are proud of and are passionate about. One of the things that people rarely pay attention to is their set of values. As a result of ignoring this or not putting focus on what it is that you value, you tend to get stuck in areas, jobs, relationships that aren't aligned with what you are. And in the end, they make you feel indifferent and misaligned. So the point of this podcast is to understand what are your values? What is it that you value most that makes you feel alive, that is unique to you? What would others say about those values? Like if I asked, one of your friends said, hey, you know John Doe there, what are his highest values? Right? Because our values, the way we act, speaks our priorities. Our actions speak our priorities. So sometimes you may have adopted a value that you may not even be aware of and may not be aligned with where you want to go. So by becoming conscious of what the values are and even looking forward to these future values that our future self has, now, all of a sudden, there's a unit of measure. Now we have something to compare against. We say, okay, this is where I want to be. How do I have to respond and act today? And it is through this changing of behaviors that we start to change our lives and we start to live out the person, the life that we were meant to live. So let's start to Understand what are your values? If I asked you, what do you value most right now? What do you value? Like, what are those values that are intrinsic and deep in your heart? Take a moment and write them down. Next, if I were to ask your best friend or an acquaintance of yours what you value, what would they say? I know when I did this exercise, I thought about what I valued and I thought about what other people looking at me would say that I valued. And while some of them were similar, there were some that were different. Next, who is the person that you want to become? What values do they have? See, there's two ways of looking at your value system, right? You can look at where you are today, in which case you might see some that make you uncomfortable or strike a little bit of anxiety or stress in you because you're like, oh, wow, this has been one of my values, but I really don't like this. This doesn't really align or feel good, but it's something you've been valuing. One of mine has been security. Like putting too much value in security. It affected how I stepped out my business, my living situation, a bunch of different things. So being aware of that helps you understand where is it that I have to go? So having these future values of who we want to become now gives us a measurement to say, okay, well, how do we have to act in accordance with this future self? And then lastly, let's look at our live. We're going to focus specifically today on career. Like, where are you in your career? How do these values align with your career? If you go through your workday indifferent and not really feeling any kind of sense of purpose to it, a different value order of values might be at play. So it's important to say, all right, so we know our values, right? One of the other things that I want to go before I go into this, into the dialogue is understanding that, alright, so you have your values. Sometimes the values you have might not be aimed at your highest good. As I just mentioned, like you may have a value that is actually not alignment. When you read the way you've been living this value, it doesn't leave you feeling good, in which case you know it needs to be changed. Secondly, there is a hierarchy, there is a ranking. When you are living, when you're looking at your list of values, there are times in your life where you can be faced with decisions. You can say, okay, well, all right, growth and maybe freedom. I'm using it for my life. Where, you know, I may be. If you place too much Emphasis on one. It could be at the cost of the other. It could be at the cost of the whole. So just. Just something to keep in mind. So let's look at your value system. I remember reading something about Benjamin Franklin. Benjamin Franklin would have his virtues so similar to values, but like the virtues he wanted to live out in his life. And he carried it, I believe, in a book with him every single day. And every single day he would look at that and what this book served as was a reminder of how he wanted to live his life, who he wanted to become, or maybe a reminder of who he really is. So maybe it was like, courageous. And he would look, say, well, what courageous action did I take today? How was I courageous today? And if he realized there was an instance where maybe he didn't respond courageously, it was just something he noticed to bring forward to the next day. I was at a Tony Robbins event back in. I believe this was like 2012 or 10. I'm not really. I don't really remember, but it was his date with destiny. It was his, like, his flagship seminar. One of the things they had to do is as we were creating our life vision, we were getting clear about what it was that we wanted. He had us write down our values, like, what are the values that we were currently living by? And once we had this list of values, we had to look with the life that we wanted to create, the life we wanted to live, and say, well, okay, well, how do these values align with who it is that we want to become? When I looked at my own life, I remember. I don't remember the exact virtues, but I do remember that my ranking was slightly flawed or not flawed. It was off. I valued certain things over others. I valued freedom over growth. I believe so. I mean, growth is very high for me and contribution is very high for me. But the problems can arise when you have this ranking and you start to put emphasis on something because. Think of it as a sliding scale, right? Let's just pause for a moment. Imagine freedom as being one of your guiding values. Let's look at both extremes. Like someone with on the far, far end, as a ranked a 10 with freedom, what would they experience in their life? How would that impact all the other areas? And then how about someone who had a freedom as a 0 or a 1? What is life like there? So when you start to literally move this slider back and forth, you can see how valuing freedom over growth might lead you to, you know, to stop growing, to kind of run away from some of Your problems. But putting growth at the, say, the other end of the slider. Now all of a sudden, maybe you're. You're constantly pushing, pushing, pushing. It's all this kind of this masculine energy to break through, but it's at the price of everything else, like being present, of being able to flow in life. Because life is not, you know, life is not one thing. Life is this complex, this complexity. It's really not that complex. Right. I think we make it complex, but life, there's a lot of things that are going on in our lives, and we just have to. Instead of just constantly putting focus towards one, just kind of understanding that we know life is everything. Yes, there's growth. Yes, there's freedom. So understanding where your values allows you to put the energy and direct the energy toward where it needs to go, where you can feel more fulfilled. So when you're doing this now, let's look at your life right now. What have been your highest values? What do you know deep down inside? Like the you that maybe you haven't been showing the world lately? Maybe it's a part of you that because of fear, because of scarcity, because of lack, you literally tucked it away somewhere where it's been wanting to come out, but it's just been locked away. That's the part of you I want you to get in touch with. What are the values of the. That you write them down. And then if I were to ask two of your closest friends, what are the values that you hold? What would they tell me? Take a moment to write those down. Look at those two values. Right? So look at the values that you just said that were intrinsic to you, that you felt were deep within your heart. And then look at the values that you said your friends would actually recognize. Are there any differences or discrepancies between the two? Are there any overlapping, any similarities? Next, look at the grand vision, like, who do you want to become? I was doing a meditation this morning, and coincidentally, my life has the synchronicities. I did a meditation this morning. The meditation was about the values, how you want to live, and using the sliding scale I just mentioned to you. But it had me look, step into the future as like the. Like my older self, like near my death, looking back at how I live my life and, well, Larry, well, how is it that I live my life where it made me passionate, excited and fulfilled? And what were the values that were at the core of that life? Then all of a sudden I pick up my book and it literally goes into the same thing. It goes about the guiding values. So let's imagine for a second that you are at the end of your life, a life well lived, because you can look, be at the end of your life and realize, shit I didn't do. There's a lot of things I did not do. But let's just imagine for a second you are at the end and you don't look back with a single moment of regret. You're looking at your life with gratitude and appreciation of all the things you accomplished, all the things you did, what have been guiding values for your life? Take a moment to write those down again. Now, looking back at our list, looking at the list that we set about ourselves, that our friends mentioned about us, as well as that future self, what are the values? Where are there any discrepancies? Are there any similarities? The future self is who you need to become who the values that you're aiming towards, right, that you're constantly striving towards. Get clear about what these values are. You don't have to be perfect. We're just getting a sense as to where we are right now. And then once we have those, look at your life right now, look at the areas where maybe again we're going to focus on career. Where are you happy in your career? Do you feel, like, indifferent to it? How does your career align to these values? Look at the list that you just created and what changes need to be made. So I have a task for you, or rather an assignment, and I'm going to commit to doing this as well. So if you want to join the commitment with me, I highly encourage it and I would love to hear your feedback in terms of what your results have been by the end of the week. So I want you to look at your list of values again, looking at the future person, the person that you are becoming, and every single day, I want you to write it. Take a sheet of paper, write the values on the left margin, and going across the top every single day of the week, at the end of every day, I want you to rate each value on a scale from 1 to 10. This is the exercise in the book, the other 90%. Rate each value and say, okay, well, how did I live this today? On a scale from 1 to 10, and look for those moments where you actually had a chance to display or take action on a value set. Notice how you responded and then say, well, how can I live this value different or better in the upcoming day? Your task is simply just to do this for the remainder of the week and see how it actually guides your life and how it changes your behavior. Because really, we're all born the same. The only difference is our behaviors. So by changing these behaviors, you are going to change your life. So that is all I've got for you guys today. If you have any questions, feedback, or want to share your experiences through this exercise, you can do so by visiting my website@www.donnierous.com. again, d o n n y r a u s com. Remember guys, life is a journey. Enjoy it. You only get one life. Live it. God bless and I will see you again soon.