Happiness Formula

Hi, guys. My name is Donnie Rouse, and you are listening to the podcast One Life. What if I told you that in my possession I had a map for happiness? You'd want to know, wouldn't you? What if I also told you that each of you had this same map of all you knew and not? I'm gonna take you on a treasure hunt. We're gonna figure out how to navigate the terrain to get to this point where we know exactly what has to be done in order to feel feelings like happiness or fulfillment. That'd be pretty cool, wouldn't it? So let's start. If you have a piece of paper, this is gonna be much, much better if you take out a piece of paper. But if you don't, maybe you're driving in the car, you could totally do this in your mind, but it will be more difficult. So grab a piece of paper. I'll give you a couple seconds for that. And the first thing I want you to write down is think of a time that you felt intense happiness. And just write down briefly write down what exactly that experience or what that moment was. Next, I want you to write down what were you doing, what was happening in this memory. I like to look at it from a couple of viewpoints. I look at it from my personal viewpoint as well as if there was someone around trying to take that third party that like that another person's viewpoint to get their perspective on what that event was, how it meant to them, and what other factors contributed to this happiness. In this moment, you got it. And in this moment, what did you believe about life? Got it all written down. So while you write your answers, I'm going to tell you about what this exercise was for me. And so this way we can go through it. So what we just did, we took happiness, we took a memory, right when we say we put it on a whiteboard. Hidden in this memory, hidden in the language that we're using, is the framework to recreate a feeling. In this sense, it's the feeling of happiness, because that's what I asked you in anything we do. So for me, I wrote down one of the. One of the memories I had was I was in Spain visiting my friend Lucas. And while I was in Spain, I'll go through the questions. What were you doing? We were pretty much. We were just hanging out. He had some school and work, but we were pretty much just spending time together, being very present, having fun, being playful, goofing around, exploring, going to different parts of Spain, eating different foods, having people over. It was this giant party of friends. And were there other people? Yeah, there was my friend Lucas. As a result of knowing him, I met a bunch of other people who became, some of them closer friends than others. But nevertheless, we shared experiences together. And what other factors contributed to that happiness? It was the sense of excitement, this sense of unknowing. There was this big sense of variety because I didn't know what the next day was going to bring. We were going exploring. One of the trips, the one that came up in my mind. I started out, we were in Granada, Spain, and I'd never been there, so everything was new, that I was coming through my senses and he was showing me. So we spent this time, and we're the type of friends where you could lock us in a white room and we would have a blast. We'd have the best time of our lives. We would literally just think of different things, and we would just start laughing. You could lock us in. We would laugh for the entire time being locked in there. And so we went on this adventure. We went to different friends, and we went to Leon, Spain, after that, we went to this, like, water fight in some, like, cave bar, and then went over to Barcelona before heading back to Spain, back to Granada. But it was a sense of excitement, this sense of adventure, and not knowing what the next. What was going to happen next. But at the same time, there's this also this intense feeling of presence. So he's one of those few friends that I have where when we're together, everything's just very stopped. And we're very much in that moment. I remember one memory in specific. We were in Barcelona and we were looking for a place to have lunch. But you know what? Let's just go to the market. Let's just get a bunch of stuff, and we'll go eat in the park. So we kicked off our shoes. We're sitting up against the wall, looking out at this giant water fountain in Barcelona, and just sitting there, you know, eating, drinking a bottle of wine. And it was such an amazing memory, and I had to have pictures of it, and I sent it to him because life just seemed to flow. We were just in that moment, and nothing else mattered. There were no accomplishments that needed to, you know, happen in order to be worthy. We were there having an experience, and we were worthy just by being there. And what did I believe about life? I mean, in that moment, I believe life was beautiful. I believe that, you know, nothing else mattered than the people I was with, that I was good enough in that moment. And as A result, I was able to fully engage and be present in that moment. So what was it for you? So look at those different factors, the different things you circle up and we'll kind of ring, we'll go around or we'll go back around them. So for me it was, you know, seeing different places, that variety, joking around and being a kid in a lot of ways and being like the little shenanigans we'd have. Laughing, being like children. I put. Meeting new people. So these are all different character. These are all things that I could take. Take out of this event that I could apply to any other. I could apply this filter, this lens, I could apply to any event. And I'm going to arrive at that same conclusion of happiness. Right? And to give you an example, trying to think of an example, I mean, I could give you one. A coffee convention I went to. As a result of going to this coffee convention, I was up in Seattle, and I'd been to Seattle once before, but hadn't really explored. I went with my friend Tim, and we were there. We were meeting different people, going to different cafes as we had different experiences. I'm laughing, thinking about it. This, like, person. It's not funny. The person was probably emotionally disturbed, but was walking by my friend, I think she, like, checked him on, like the sidewalk. And it was. He was kind of a bit shaken by the experience because, like, who the heck is this woman? But it's kind of those things like that where you don't really know what's going to happen. So, like, there's. There's this sense of, like, adventure. And even if something like that happens, you look back and we can laugh at it now. But when I take these filters and I apply the different situations, the different environments, seeing new things, meeting new people, behaving like, you know, a child and, you know, being able to act silly, all those things are present in that experience. And as a result, it resulted in happiness. It resulted in. I mean, there are different kinds of happiness, too. Happiness is not this one, you know, like, I was happy when I saw my nephew being born. I mean, and that's a different formula. So you have to really hone in and be specific on what the emotions are that you want to feel. So let's. Let's do another one if you want to join me. So let's do think of a moment where you felt intense fulfillment, where you just felt really fulfilled. You got that moment. Write it down. And what were you doing? Who were the people that were surrounding you or that were around you. If there were, what factors contributed to this sense of fulfillment? I'm going through these questions kind of quick, but you're more than welcome and I encourage you to please pause them, go back, revisit this, and just keep going back and redoing these exercises. And why is this experience unique and memorable to you? And this I didn't write down, but I'll do one off the top of my mind. In college, I was. I almost failed out. I think it was my beginning of my sophomore year and I was on academic probation because I was dating. I was dating a girl at the time. And I did not put. My studies went into my studies. My studies did not go into a relationship. Maybe, maybe. But my attention went to the relationship and not my studies. And as a result, my grades paid for it. But what happened at the beginning of my sophomore year when I realized that I was risking not getting into the business school? I mean, I had to get into business school that following year. So when the risk came up of not being able to get that degree in finance, I looked at it as like, oh, my God, my life is over. So what I did was I had spent 20. I would spend. Literally, we called the last year with my friends. It's a joke because I spent all my time studying. I would go wake up in the morning, I would go work. I was interning at an investment bank my senior year. But, like, that doesn't include my sophomore and junior. And I was literally spent all my time studying, studying, studying, studying, until I got. I had a 3.83 GPA in the school of business. I literally had gotten. I think I'd gotten like one B or something like that in. Because I just literally put my head in the book. And it was a very fulfilling experience for me because I realized what I was capable of. I realized that if I just put that focus on what was possible. I also had inspired other people by doing that. Other. My friends that were my peers were like, oh my God, let me see your report card. Straight A's. Oh, my God, you know what? You inspired me to do these scene. They saw my results, and as a result of me getting the A's, I called on them or they called upon themselves to be better. So that was an ins. And that was very fulfilling for me because, I mean, who doesn't want to. Who doesn't want to inspire others to take action? And it was that action of doing that for myself that I inspired others. So it was just a fulfilling experience all around. And then what My beliefs were in that moment, my beliefs were that anything is possible. If I put my mind to something, that I can achieve it. How can I apply that to life? Using that into putting that onto. I use this example often, my weightlifting competition. The same thing. If I look at why I was fulfilled and I take that framework and I literally apply that same framework to my physique competition, it was the same thing. The same thing. The motivator might have been a little bit different, but the work, everything that went into it, even the inspirational aspect of it, of inspiring other people to take charge and to transform their bodies, it was all the same. What is it for you? Right? So success leaves clues. There is. It's not. It's, you know, success really does leave clues like so how you're. What you do, how you do one thing is how you do everything. Everything. They use that to really say your success happens, stuff like that. But that pattern of success is the same. The only thing that changes is the context. And I feel like once you're armed with this framework and you know exactly what you have to do, you could do anything. It's just a matter of getting the discipline, building those habits in place. And the habits are nothing more. What's going to get you to take those actions, Nothing more than a little bit of leverage and have a reason that's bigger than you, a reason that's going to compel you and push you to go after it. But the formula is there for you. I am starting to take on some people as coaching clients. So I invite you if this is something you enjoy or you find value in. I encourage you to send me a private message via Instagram at. Donny D O N N Y R A U S Again Donny D O N N Y N I have a limited number of spaces, but I'm setting up some 15 minute calls. I would love to see how I can serve you and if I could help you kind of build this passionate life and kind of get things on course because you ever, you know, when like something just kind of feels off, you're not making any kind of momentum, you're not making any movements and you're not really sure why, maybe I could help you figure that out. Guys, thank you so, so much for tuning in. This concludes this episode. I hope it helped you. I hope you are doing this exercise and you find your formulas. If not, give me a call and I will help you find those formulas. Have an awesome rest of your week and God bless.