Keeping Score

Hi, guys. My name is Donnie Rouse, and you are listening to the podcast One Life. So the name of today's podcast is Keeping Score, and I'll explain in a moment exactly what that means. So this past. The past three weeks, I've been in Asia. I was traveling two weeks in Vietnam, and what ended up being another week in Singapore because I missed one of my flights. And as I was writing, I came home. And today I wanted to send an email out to all the people who follow me on Rao's Coffee just to kind of say hello, share what I've been up with, apologize for missing one of the farmers markets. And as I was writing this email, I started to notice something that I do habitually from every single time I've returned from a trip. And it is. Well, now, the title of this is called Keeping Score. So what does Keeping Score mean? So usually when I return from a trip, whether it be Italy, Japan, China, wherever it is in the world that I am, rather than rent a car or, you know, have someone pick me up from the airport, what I would do is I would have. I would take public transportation, usually a train from the airport into Penn Station and then another train at Grand Central, and from there, a train back to Stanford, Connecticut, my hometown. And what that allowed me to do, taking that train, was just to reflect on my trip. I would look back over the pictures I had on my camera and my phone and. And just replay those memories in my mind and feel really grateful as a result. And many times, especially when I did my trip to Japan and China, it was a month I spent. Yeah, a month. There's three weeks in Japan, a week in China. And over the course of that month, I think I'd visited In Japan alone, 18 cities. In the one week I was in China. I did three cities. I did Shanghai, Beijing, and Xi'. An. So it was incredibly packed, and there was so much cramped into it that it was actually, at times difficult to remember what exactly I did and where I stopped on that trip. So as I was writing this email to my. To my newsletter email to all my Rascoffee fans, I was going over and I was remembering that whenever I would recall that, I would often feel really, really good because I was evoking those memories for my trip. And last night, I did a practice that I don't do religiously, but when I remember and I'm calm, I try to do. And that's just writing down the moment of the day that I'm most grateful for. And also a few moments of Things that I learned throughout my day and what that allowed me to do was to just kind of say, take a step back from my day one. By replaying it, you kind of embed it deeper within. So those things you learned, you kind of are able to take with them because you're reflecting on it. And if going back to the travel, it's by reliving and looking at those experiences that you feel the emotion of those experiences, because you're evoking them, you're reliving them again. So very much the same thing in your day. And what I went on further in this email was as I was reflecting on the trip and I was thinking about the things that were most important to me was the people I met and the coffee I drank, as funny as that sounds. But it was one of the highlights of my trip. And they're really. When it came down to coffee, I used it for three. There were three different things that I use coffee for. The first was to slow down. The second was to connect with others that I met in my travels. And the third was to really learn about the culture and the different preparations that they do within that culture. So I'll go into the three of those. So slowing down. When I arrived on my trip, usually whenever I. When I first arrive in a destination, the first thing I do is I'll link up with somebody because I don't know the land yet, so I want to get familiar, I want to meet people. So this way it gives me a comfort level because I know, okay, whatever happens, I have this person here with me, things are always going to be okay. It's one of the first things I do. So I'll go back to my hostel and. And I'll meet people and kind of usually travel that day or maybe if. Maybe it's just a couple hours with them. And on this past trip, there are several people I met who had a very. They literally had plotted out all the steps for their trip. So when I was in. Where was I? Hanoi. I met a girl from England who was living in New Zealand. And we were walking around. We did a walking tour earlier that day. And then after we decided to kind of go together and walk around the rest of the city. There's this giant lake in Hanoi called West Lake. And West Lake is divided into two sides with a pagoda and a bridge kind of splicing it right down the middle. Not quite down the middle. It's not evenly spliced, but so we walked around the right side and then we thought about walking around the left. The left was probably three times the size. So to give you an idea how big it was, we started walking at 10 o' clock in the walking tour, which is about maybe a couple hours. And I didn't get back to the hostel until 9:00 o' clock at night. So literally walked the entire day, so nine hours. And while I was walking with this new friend of mine, she was always just kind of like, literally walking at a New York City pace and, you know, didn't want to stop, just kind of wanted to loop around this entire lake, which was huge. And I kind of joked around with her. I was like, you don't meditate, do you? She's like. And she kind of got a little bit defensive, like, well, why do you say that? I was like. I was like, no, no offense, but you just keep on going as you don't take time to actually stop and, like, be in the moment. And I said, you know, I'm not criticizing because I. In many ways, I'm like that too. But like, when I'm on a vacation or I'm taking a trip, I like to use that time to slow down. So we just kind of kept walking and we came across a string of cafes. So, you know, I told her, let's stop here, let's grab a beer. And I noticed that when we stopped at that cafe, all of a sudden that's when time slowed down for me. So I noticed that in the past, what I've always used, and it happened again, I remember in specific incidents in Japan where, like, there's so much commotion, so much going on around you, so much stimuli, and then all of a sudden that coffee is at that centering moment for me. And as a consequence, what it also does was it also slowed her down as well. So the time after that cup of coffee that we had, we ended up walking around the rest of the lake and ended up stopping for pho at this amazing place called Pho Boy and grabbed some street food. And it just changed the entire pace of the walk that we were on. So leading into the next point is that coffee really allows you to connect with people. When you say, hey, do you want to grab a cup of coffee? What you're really saying to somebody is, do you want to talk? And whenever I met anybody, whether Hanoi or throughout Vietnam, the one thing I would always do whenever I met someone is, hey, do you want to grab a cup of coffee? And I would treat them to coffee. It was kind of like. It's kind of like my mo. Whenever I Meet somebody abroad. And this one time. So I was in Hoi an and Hoi an gets a little bit more touristic. So in Hanoi there was no. There's no fears of safety in Hanoi. Hanoi, like the streets were freaking completely crazy. I mean like cars weaving in and out, there's no stoplights. And when you have to cross the street, you literally just step out into this traffic. So there's great degree of trust that you have to have when walking across the street. It's insane. I've never experienced anything like it. And there's horns. The horns are going constantly. And as you walk across the street, it's almost like Moses partying the Red Sea. So you take your first step across the street and all of a sudden it's like all the motorbikes, car. Well, not so much the cars and not many cars there, but the motorbikes just kind of halt and like kind of go around you in some weird way. They just kind of know you're there. I was told by somebody that there is a hierarchy on the road. It's cars, people than motorbikes. So people always slow down for cars and motorbikes always slow down for cars and people. So going back. So I was in Hoi An, I think it might have been the first night I was there, maybe the second night. And I was out one night I met someone from, from the town and she goes, oh, come meet me. We're at. I'm at Tiger Bar with a few friends. Tiger Bar is a small bar across the bridge. And anyway, so I go over there and I had had a drink over there and end up dancing and staying out much later than I had intended. So I intend to just literally pop out and then walk back. What I did end up doing was staying out until 3 o' clock in the morning. So being out at 3 o' clock in the morning, I mean, let me tell you, when things shut down, they shut down looking out. So from being on the other side of the river looking out at who, Hoi an, especially close to where my hostel was, it's completely pitch black. There isn't a single light on. So when you're walking in the streets, you're walking in pitch dark. And because it's such a touristic city, the chance of getting robbed or having something happen is a little bit greater. Overall, the country was, I felt extremely safe in the country. But in Hoi an they said one thing. Don't accept scooter rise from anybody who wants to bring you back to the hostel. And Walk in groups. So I didn't have a group. I only had me. And I'm sitting outside the club and like, all right, well, what do I do? Is it better for me to walk down the street alone, or do I just pick up one of these scooters? They have this thing called Grab, which is similar to an Uber, but at that hour, they're not operating. So this guy outside the bar was like, hey, do you want to. I'm really going on, like, a whim here. But it's a good story. So this guy's like, oh, do you want to ride home? Thought about it. I'm like, you know, is it safe to jump on the scooter with this guy? But, you know, do I really feel like walking back in pitch black? Yep. Fuck it. Let me just go. So I decided to jump on back of the scooter, and we're going through these streets that are pitch black. And I noticed that he kept honking the horn at certain points. I'm like, who the hell is he honking to? And as we would, you know, and it wasn't even like we were approaching the intersection. He would just keep honking the horn. And the first thing that's in my mind was like, is he signaling somebody? So I'm starting to get a little nervous. I have my feet on the pegs getting ready if he were to slow down, to literally jump off and start running. And as we're driving down the street, the honking has continued to start. And then we're driving down the straight street, and then all of a sudden, I see an oncoming scooter, and I hear, like, the honk. You know, he's honking his horn, and the other scooter comes to a stop. And then as we approach that scooter, he starts to slow down. My heart is pounding here. I'm like, oh, my God. I think I'm gonna get mugged right now. And as the scooter stops, he goes, here you are. I look up, and it's my hostel. So I was extremely relieved that I didn't get mugged and that he actually brought me to his hostel. So I took the guy's number, and I promised if I were to go out again, I would call him for a scooter ride. I didn't go out again, especially not that late. So I never ended up calling him. But besides the point. So the point I'm trying to make is I met a guy by the name of Tony. And again, this is a rant from the Point I'm trying to make with coffee, connecting, but it kind of leads to that place. Tony is from Croatia or some, some part of Croatia. I don't think he's part of Croatia anymore. I think Bosnia. And he was telling me about the experience he's had. He now lives in Germany, but prior, you know, outside of Germany and in Croatia, he's never left the country or the continent of Europe. And so this is his first time. And I told him, I'm American. So we started going in this whole rant about Americans. And we had just visited the museum of War in Hanoi, which talks about and pretty showcases the Vietnam War and all the things that happened between the use of napalm or the Agent Orange by the American army and the devastation that it caused on that country is extremely one sided in the sense that, I mean, I don't doubt the, the atrocities that happened there, but you could see there's a lot of propaganda in, in that museum. But nevertheless, we were talking and he was telling me, he said something, he's like, you know what? He. It was gonna. He had this like epiphany. He was imagining himself if he didn't exist. Not in the sense that if he had taken his own life, but what would life be like if he didn't exist? Meaning like the interactions he had with other people. And what he found as he was sharing this with me was that it was such a grounding experience for him that it really made him think about his interactions that he had with everyone around him. And this kid is like a heart, like a heart of gold. He's like a little teddy bear. But he ended up being one of my good friends. So he's talking, my not talking about here. I enjoyed the conversation, but like I was dead tired. I couldn't even keep my eyes open. So I told him, I was like, you know what, let's connect for coffee tomorrow and we could talk more. So I go to bed, wake up the next morning, and we went to a coffee shop and I ended up ordering an egg coffee. And we literally just talked. And it was one of the slower moments of the trip where we just kind of watched life go by, people crossing. And then we met another friend of mine, this kid named Stefan from Holland. He joined and we both had Cafe Suda, which is coffee with condensed milk over ice. And yeah, it was just. In every instance I've used coffee, it's always been to kind of connect with others. And especially it was true of this trip because the coffee was amazing. In Vietnam So many different preparations that are unique to that country. That made it one of the top coffee countries that I visited in all of my travels. Which kind of leads me to part three. So sorry for that long, long rant, but what I'm trying to say is that coffee was that. That. That tool of connection between me, my friend Tony, and everyone else that I met, every single person I met that I felt some kind of connection with and I wanted to learn more about. I invited him out to coffee, and we would just talk for hours and then sip of coffee. But the other thing was that I loved learning about the coffee culture. That's the last point I'm trying to make. So Vietnam has a very, very distinct coffee culture. And it changes from north to south as you go from, like, Hanoi, way up north, all the way down to south. So in Hanoi, I found the coffee culture or the cafe culture to be much stronger than anywhere else. I didn't go to Da Lat. I know Da Lat is one of the areas where they produce coffee, but even then, I highly doubt that it would. It would be more of cafe culture than it is in Hanoi. So Hanoi, you could find coffee that is. It's fairly consistent in the sense that this. The coffee has this, like, this very, very deep, distinct. There's like this raisiness to it, almost like rum. I don't know what it is that they do to the coffee, but there is this unique flavor that is specific to Vietnamese coffee. And I noticed it in Hanoi. That was very uniform. And as I trickled down, the coffee started to get worse. Or let me not say worse, but harder to find a better cup. So in Hanoi, I had a coffee called coconut coffee, which they do. Coconut cream and condensed milk. They blend it together with ice, and they make this kind of slush thing. Then they put the Vietnamese coffee either under or over that. And it's a really, really decadent kind of treat to enjoy, especially when it's hot out. The second thing I had was a egg coffee. So egg coffee is made by. You take some yolk, the egg, you mix it with sugar, you beat it until it becomes like a custard, and then that goes over the Vietnamese coffee. So depending on how the Vietnamese coffee was brewed, most of the people I experienced there, they actually brew it in advance. Then they will dilute it with a little bit of water and heat it over a pot before adding it to the cup, which I didn't like seeing that I wanted it brewed fresh all the time. But, you know, your Hands are kind of tied. You're they, they do it the way they do it. There's nothing I could do to change the egg. Coffee was phenomenal. That varied from coffee shop to coffee shop. What I found that some coffee shops would use a lot. They would actually, not purposely, they would try to, you know, to, to take out the, the white and they would actually leave a little bit of the white in. And by leaving some of that egg white in the, the crema or that custard that they would make with the whipped egg yolk would actually become very kind of cloud, not cloudy. What's the word I'm looking for? It's like, like meringish where it just kind of kept its form and you could like make peaks with it. That one wasn't as pleasurable. And then lastly was just the regular Vietnamese coffee tradition in Vietnam is you take the Vietnamese coffee, you do it over ice and you add condensed milk. I wanted to try it black. So pretty much everywhere I went they would deliver me with ice and I would always just kind of sip it black. And it was really, really tasty. Really like, oh, probably a little over extracted. But with that said, the coffee was extremely rich, extremely full bodied and pretty balanced. So I, I loved it. The best coffee I had while I was there was a coffee and I'm going to butcher the name. I think I did a post on, live on Facebook and I butchered it then too. Chung Legend. I think that's how you say it. It's one of the larger coffee companies in Vietnam but their, their product is pretty superb and they have this legend coffee which says energy coffee for life. I don't even know what the hell that means. It doesn't make sense. And as much as I look at it, it almost like gets me angry. I'm like, what the fuck does that mean? I couldn't wrap my head around it because it doesn't mean anything. But the coffee was awesome. It didn't feel like I had energy for life afterward, but it was delicious. It had this like these caramel notes, like this deep, deep rum raisin and had like layers to it hot and cold. It tasted exactly the same, which is very, very rare when you have a coffee. Usually as you cool that coffee, the flavor profile changes. But this coffee was an anomaly. It was unique to that. The acidity changed a little bit, but it just kept its richness and it was so delicious. And I'll remember that cup of coffee probably for the rest of my life. But yeah, I mean that's Pretty much it. I mean, like, that was my trip. It seems like it went so fast. So going back to the main point I wanted to make was keeping score. So the entire trip happened so fast that most of the time, whenever I come back from a trip and I. It feels like I never left because I don't even remember what the trip, what I did on the trip, who I met. And it's not until I go back to my photos, look at the photos, that I start to recount. Wow, that was. I remember doing that. That was amazing. Oh, I remember laughing there. Oh, that was. That was a great time too. And doing. And I look at all the memories, and then I really start to appreciate the trip. So how can you apply that to your life? Right? It's so easy to get stuck in life and in that energy of just doing things and never really account for what you've done. I know for myself personally, like, trying to journal in the morning, it's sometimes, most of the time, it's not happening. I am extremely tired in the morning. I can't even open my eyes. But one thing I do try to do at night is just to kind of like, write down highlights of my day. I'll do things that I've learned. Because it actually gives me a little bit of a sense of accomplishment when I write down things that I learned, maybe about myself or about others, that if I go throughout the day and I don't take the time to write this down, a lot of time I just forget. And I mean, I could go. What I just spelled out to you in those three points was one of the things I had learned. I was kind of didn't know that I use coffee in such a way. Cause I was never really conscious of it. And I was looking at it, I was like, wow, I really got so much enjoyment out of seeing the way other people prepare coffee, talking with people at the cafes. And it's kind of one of the things I want to build into my travels now is kind of build a diet, like a video diary of the coffee that I consume to share the different brewing methods and all that stuff with other people. But nevertheless, I'm getting sidetracked. And I'm doing that a lot right now. If you notice, I'm doing this from home and not from the studio, which I normally podcast from, just because there were some scheduling issues. And rather than miss a week, I wanted to kind of share some of this stuff with you. This way you could enjoy it, maybe make the trip yourself. And yeah, I'm already sidetracked. I'm sorry. I'm kind of a little lost. But yeah, that. I mean, if. I guess the. The action I want you to take today is just to kind of get in the habit. You know, if it's just one thing, if, like one thing you learned, one thing you're grateful for, like the best moment of your day. And there's one more thing I want to say, what you learned, what you're grateful for. And we'll just start there, right? Just pick one thing and today and just kind of get in the habit of doing that. And what you're going to do or what you're going to notice by going through this process that you're going to look through your day and you're going to look for these moments of things that you learned, the best moment. And by looking for that best moment, what you're going to be doing is you're going to say you're going to be looking at all the good moments of your day and you're going to try to pick out that one best moment. So as a result, you're going to feel flooded with emotion, you'll feel a little bit better and you'll go to sleep happy if you do it at night, if you do it in the day, you'll start your day on a brighter note. If you just kind of think about the things that you were grateful for the day before, that might help as well. Both will be beneficial. Doesn't matter which way you do it. So that is it. I promise next time I'll be a little bit more organized, but like I said, I didn't want to go a week without doing another post because I missed last week. And I want to just kind of get on here, say hello, and share some of my experiences from my prior trip with you. That is it, guys. Have an awesome start to your week. Thank you so much for tuning in and I look forward to seeing you next time.