Leaping Forward: How Embracing Fear Leads to Growth

Most people spend their entire life stressed without ever giving a single thought as to what it is they really want or what's important to them. See, I'm here to cut through all that noise connecting you to yourself and the life that you were meant to live. I used to slave away at a corporate job that I hated, but I broke through the social norms and pursued my passion. As a result, I own my own coffee company, I'm espresso sommelier, and I get to travel the world. You too can live a life that you love, but it starts with getting clear about what you want. It starts with a new decision. I'm your host, Donnie Rouse, and you are listening to the podcast One Life. What's going on, everybody? Donnie Rouse here. And today we are going to talk about leaping forward into fear. So let's talk about fear. Fear is going to come up in everyone's life at some point or another. But the problem is that sometimes we let fear stop us from doing exactly we need to do in order to achieve a goal or become the person we want to be. So I want you to think of a time when you let fear stop you from taking a stride forward. And I want you to just think about what was the effect afterward. How did you feel as a result of letting that fear stop you? Because there's three ways we have to look at fear. We have to look at fear first, as a guide. Because often when we are afraid, it is a message saying that we are going in the right direction. The second thing to move around fear is to replace the word fear with curiosity, saying things like, well, what would happen if I were to make this decision? What would be on the other side of that by asking this question? What it does is it allows you to see the new opportunities, the new possibilities that leaping over this fear will invite into your life. And then thirdly, we can use regret to give us more leverage to step into the fear. Because if you look at what you're afraid of, but you look past it, oftentimes what you're going to gain is a lot bigger than that temporary you're going to feel in that moment. And isn't it true? Haven't you ever stepped into fear was something that was seems unsurmountable, but you did it anyways. And all of a sudden, as a result, each and every time something like that showed up again in your life, you were able to step forward faster without any hesitation. The story I'm going to tell you now is about a friend of mine who is moving to Cambodia and Dubai for the next six months. And a call we had together, he called me up yesterday, he says, hey, I feeling a little nervous about this. You know, I've never done this in this, anything like this before. I'm scared. And I told him, I was like, well first of all, what are you afraid of? Try to pinpoint what exactly is the fear. Sometimes that fear is the thought that you won't be able to handle it or that something you're going to have a negative outcome on the other end. And he also told me it was missing out on leaving his friends and family. This is one of the newer friends of mine and we had spent a lot of time together in the last three weeks. So it was this idea of leaving new relationships and thinking that when he came back maybe they wouldn't be there. In my experience in travel, I shared with him that there wasn't a single time that I've ever haven't. There never was a single time that I wasn't nervous going into a trip and that I always moved forward as a result of that fear, despite the fear. And I told him he didn't. This is one of his first trips. I told him that he couldn't. There's no way he could possibly understand the monumental impact this was about to make on his life because once he had stepped outside, it was going to give him a new world experience, a new way of seeing things that he wasn't going to get just from staying in the comforts of the day to day living here. He knew this transformation was really, really going to change him. So he ended up going on the plane and I haven't heard from him yet, but I'm sure he's doing fine. And it's not to say that he's not going to have hardship because that would be inaccurate to say anytime you are thrown into a culture, you're going to be forced to grow in ways that you may not feel comfortable. But as a result of looking back, the experience is going to be invaluable and you never will you regret looking at having that experience. It reminds me of when I went to Rome, Italy back in 2006. It was the longest time that I had been away from my home, from my family, my friends. I went to Rome in 2006 for three months to study Italian and my intention was to never come back. While I was there. I was, the first few weeks I was there I was, you know, I felt down. I didn't have any like friends, close friends. I made a lot of friends and acquaintances in my class, but there was no one that I had this connection with. Three weeks later, I would meet one of my best friends, Lucas, and we would go. It would go on to have, like, one of the most memorable experiences of my life in Rome, Italy. And as a result of that, I ended up going to visit Italy, I think, 14 times. Now, looking back, they had such a profound impact on my life because my business as it is today, is the result of that trip. So if I'm using the guide that I was just mentioning to you to look at fear as a guide, using looking at it with curiosity and then looking at what you might regret, I could tell you all three of those right now as they pertain to my life. The wall was me getting past the comfort zone of being alone, of being in a place where I knew nobody. It was funny, it was a fear, but it was also one of the biggest things that excited me about this trip. Secondly, the curiosity. I was going there because, well, I wanted to learn language. And secondly, I wanted to learn more about espresso. I wanted to immerse myself in the culture of Italian espresso. As a result of that, literally, I would spend my afternoons, I would be running around to different cafes, shooting down, like, nine espressos a day. No bullshit. And as a result of that, now I have the business. I have my own coffee company with the foundation being a product that I conceived while I was living in Rome, Italy. And then third, regret. If I had stayed here. There is. I mean, there's. Without a doubt, I would have regretted it, because I, at the time, I had a girlfriend that I was dating for six years. And actually, she's one of the reasons why I booked the trip, because we got in an argument. She said I wouldn't book the trip. I said, you watch, Boom, it's booked. But I could have easily fell back and withheld from making that decision. As a result, nothing would have changed. As a result, I wouldn't have seen a fraction of the countries I have in my life right now. I'm at 56 right now. And I don't say that to brag about how many countries I've visited, but rather, it is one of the things that I'm most proud of in my life because it requires me to step out of the comfort zone. It requires me to step out of my own shell because I can go into that place. I'm an extrovert, I would say, by nature, but naturally I'm an extrovert. But sometimes I Go inward. And it's when I'm not spending a lot of time, I'm just spending too much time sitting and doing work on my computer. That lack of interaction makes me feel socially awkward at times. And there is. I would regret, it would be my biggest regret if I didn't take that one trip that started this entire journey. That I'm on it, hands down, would have been the biggest regret of my life. So it helps to look at, ask yourself those three questions, to look at those three facets of fear. So this way, rather than allowing it to hold you back, you allow it to spring you forward. So look into your life right now, where what is that thing that is scaring the living crap out of you that you have to take action on? And let's dissect that for a moment. Where are you being guided? Right. Okay, let's acknowledge the fear. Yes, fear is there. It's a way of life. But how are you being guided to step into this fear? Secondly, let's replace that word fear with curiosity. If you were to get curious as to what would be on the other side when you take that action, would now become available to you. And how does that feel to have that now a part of your life? And then lastly, number three, what would you regret by not stepping into that fear, by not taking the action that you know you are being guided to take? It's so funny that so. So often we think that it's more uncomfortable to step into the uncertainty, step into the fear, when the real discomfort comes from staying in one place, staying who we are, from not growing. I was drinking GT's kombucha, and on the bottle of the kombucha, it said, exploring the unknown is never step backwards. I'll say it one more time. Exploring the unknown is never a step backwards. Because as a result of stepping into the unknown, now all of a sudden you learn new things, you come away with new insights that will carry you and equip you for that road forward. So I hope this episode here helps you literally just get past the fear. Because everything you want in your life, it requires you to. That is all I have for today. It's been a little bit of a hiatus in coming on here and creating these episodes. And primarily that's because I took off. I'm rebalancing my life in terms of how I am using my time to move forward. So I wanted to come on here because this is one of the most fulfilling things that I do and add so much of my life to share my experience with you so that you can take these lessons that I'm learning in my own life and apply them to your own so you can create your one life. Your life that's full of passion, joy and excitement. So if you enjoyed this, please give this a thumbs up. Share it with somebody who needs to hear this message. If you have any questions or would like to comment, you can send them to me via my website at www.d o n n y r a u s.com again, donnyrous.com that is all I've got for you guys today. Hope you enjoyed this episode. Until the next time, live fully, live passionately, and most of all, live now. God bless you guys and I will see you in the next episode.