Love Thy Self - Choosing What's Life Giving

Most people spend their entire life stressed without ever giving a single thought as to what it is they really want or what's important to them. See, I'm here to cut through all that noise connecting you to yourself and the life that you were meant to live. I used to slave away at a corporate job that I hated, but I broke through the social norms and pursued my passion. As a result, I own my own coffee company, I'm espresso sommelier, and I get to travel the world. You too can live a life that you love, but it starts with getting clear about what you want. It starts with a new decision. I'm your host, Donnie Rouse, and you are listening to the podcast One Life Love Thyself. What does it mean to love yourself? A lot of people think maybe it's like buying that little. That little thing, that item that you want because it's kind of like self care, which it is a part of self care. But I want to reframe it. And I want you to look at every single thing you do in your life from the standpoint of is this loving or is this not loving? Is this loving to myself or is it not loving to myself? Is this life giving or is this life taking? And a lot of time, at least for me. The reason why I'm doing this podcast is because it was my holding back on words and not sharing how I truly felt. Because there was always the fear that how would it would be perceived? Would the person be angry at me and would this result in an argument? So before we go anywhere, I want you to first develop some awareness. Say, okay, well, where am I not being self loving? Is it in my. Some of my relationships? Am I not voicing my opinions? And if so, what is holding me back? What are the fears that are holding me back? I was over friends this past week, weekend and while I was there, I was talking with her niece and we were having a conversation and then her daughter was sitting. Was standing near us. I'm not sure for how long she was standing there. And while she was there, my friend came over, he goes, excuse me. You know, she wants to say something. And I was a little bit flustered by that because her, she's very. This is one of my best friends and she is very. She honors like that. You know, when someone's talking, you give them full respect. You wait until they're finished and then you start. And in that moment, it was the way I was wait. This kind of like was in contrast to what she always spoke about. And so it Bothered me. And I kind of held on to that the entire night rather than addressing it right when it happened. Because I'm like, well, should I say something? Oh, no. You know, I don't want to ruffle any feathers because I just don't want, you know, I don't want her to get mad. And, you know, I was just avoiding it, period. Towards the end of the night, I started to release them. I was about to let it go. I was like, you know what? It's not even important. I don't really even need to say anything. But the following day, I, as I was saying my morning prayers and doing my meditation, I said, you know what? My intention today, the tension for me today is going to be to love myself. The intention for me today is going to put myself first. Not necessarily saying everything, me, not you. And doing it in a significance driven and kind of arrogant way, but saying, let me honor myself. Let me honor my feelings first. Because unless I do that, there's nothing to give. And you go through your day just kind of literally like a leaf fluttering in the wind. So we had a conversation and before we hung up the phone, I said, do you mind if I share something? She goes, yeah, sure, of course. And I shared the experience. I said, you know, when I was talking to your niece, you know, your daughter came over and then you came in and said, hey, well, she has something to say. And you interrupted the conversation. And it kind of bothered me because one, it wouldn't go against everything you said. And you know, secondly, I never want to say anything because, you know, because of. I didn't want to start an argument. And as I expressed what I'm like, what was bothering me, I said, you know what, maybe, you know, I'm trying to look at it. I know it has nothing to do with you, but everything to do with how I'm processing it, I was like, maybe your daughter was there for a while. And because I was so engaged in the conversation that I, you know, I just didn't hear and I, it's not my intention. I didn't want to ignore her. And then she said something, she goes, well, you know what? This has to do with some of my childhood stuff too. You know, I was bringing, when I was younger, this is what happened to me. And as a result, you know, I was just reacting because I didn't want my daughter to feel that way. I was like, wow, so interesting because my, my, my avoiding of a possible argument was part of my childhood conditioning. So it was funny how, you know, all this stuff gets intermingled and how these fears were building up in my head about, you know, what could happen if I just express how I truly felt when the truth of the matter is strong relationships, how telling how you feel is not going to, is not going to damage a relationship. And especially if you do it with poise, right? And you take the other person's, the other person's feelings and you say it how you would want someone to say it to you, pretty much. And so after that I was like, well, you know what, I'm so happy that we had this conversation because I would, the last thing I want to do, I didn't want to hold it in because I didn't want it to damage our friendship. And she'll go, well, no, of course not. I'm glad you did too. And you could always talk to me. So why do I tell you this? I tell you this for a couple reasons. One, I want you to kind of scan your life. I mean, you could literally scan a day. I really believe that any, like if you take one single day in your life, it's kind of like it's literally could represent your entire life, right? Because the emotions we cycle through on a daily basis aren't that different. Right? We usually feel and think and do the same thing. It's just, it's part of human nature. That's who we are. So take one day and just be aware of yourself, be aware of the feelings in your body. And when you're communicating with other people and you have something to say, maybe it's just, you know, you have something to say and you find yourself kind of shying away from saying it. And then ask yourself a question, just say, is this self loving or isn't it? What is the self loving response? And the self loving response would be saying how you feel. But then another way of phrasing the question is say am I willing to take the damaging effect of not expressing how I feel, not loving myself in this moment, right? Because if you value self love, then you have to respond in its best. And you have to respond like to pick yourself. You don't want to break yourself down. And that's just one example of self love. You could be, maybe, maybe you're going for a position, a job or something like that and you're breaking yourself down because you're like, oh well, you know what? I'm not good enough. People are probably better than me. Stop yourself, stop yourself in that moment and say, okay, how am I responding right now? Am I being self loving? Am I being self defeating? And then choose the self loving attitude. That's all I've got for you guys today. I hope you enjoyed this podcast. This was last night was such an amazing night in the sense that whenever I get a breakthrough, all these synchronicities literally come in. It's like God, the universe, every they're trying to give me one message. So much so that they literally just pile on like the lesson after lesson all pertaining to the same thing. So these are the things I come and I want to share with you. So I hope you enjoyed this podcast. If you did, please subscribe. Go to donnyrous www. O-n n y r a u s.com there you could send me give me comments, you could send me an email with any questions you have. You could subscribe to my podcast, listen to the latest episode or which you should because the one with Mike Daphne is amazing. And also you could buy some rouse coffee, right? I mean because your day starts with the rituals and why not start with the ritual of amazing coffee. So I hope you enjoyed this guys. Again, thank you so much for tuning in because I realize you could be putting your time anywhere, but you're choosing to be here with me listening to this, hopefully bettering yourself. Because it's all about repetition. It's all around putting the positive thoughts in your mind because if you leave it to the outside world, it's not serving you right because everything is trying to get your attention with fear. So by putting your focus here, we're moving your life forward and we're helping you identify the things that you love as well as the truths that are within you. So God bless you guys. Thank you so much for tuning in. I love you all and I wish you the best. Talk to you soon.