Make a Better Choice - The Gift of Don't Wants

Most people spend their entire life stressed without ever giving a single thought as to what it is they really want or what's important to them. See, I'm here to cut through all that noise connecting you to yourself and the life that you were meant to live. I used to slave away at a corporate job that I hated, but I broke through the social norms and pursued my passion. As a result, I own my own coffee company. I'm espresso sommelier, and I get to travel the world. You, too, can live a life that you love, but it starts with getting clear about what you want. It starts with a new decision. I'm your host, Donnie Rouse, and you are listening to the podcast One Life. Make a better choice. Our choices define our lives. You make a different choice, you get a different result. Sometimes it's not a good result, sometimes it's a better result. But the point is, if you never made that choice in the beginning, if you never made that decision, you wouldn't know. So what is some of the choices you've been putting off? Let me ask you a different question. What are some of the pain points? The areas of your life where you're not happy, right? You complain about the thing every single day, saying, you know what? I. Oh, man, I really hate being here. I don't like this job. I don't like. I don't like my body, whatever it may be. What are those areas? Identify them now, because I want to explain how the mind works. The mind is pro. Is the way our mind is set up. It's to avoid pain, to. For safety, right? To avoid death. Right? Where's. Where's that saber tooth tiger? Where is it? Where is it? Do whatever I have to do to avoid getting attacked. And as a result, our bodies are so adaptable, it will literally go to the place where it knows that it's going to be safe and comfortable, where there's no risks. But let me tell you this. If there are no risks, what is life, right? What are the emotions you would feel? What are the emotions you would feel on a daily basis if you didn't take any risks? If you didn't step outside of your comfort zone? What would life be like? It would suck. It would really suck, you know? But we forget that. We forget that life happens in those unpredictable moments in those places where we step beyond the fear, where we step beyond our boundaries, because then all of a sudden, a whole new world of possibility becomes available to us. So I was listening to my interview with Mike Dauphany, and he was Saying, listen, we're programmed, our minds say, okay, listen, avoid pain at all costs. Stick with what you know, be comfortable. But that's not a way to fulfilling life. And fear and courage are really the same thing. Courage is acknowledging the fear moving forward anyway, so it's not like the fear is ever absent. So let's bring it back to the decisions that you make on a daily basis. And I will bring it back to like, aspects of my business as well as living situation. Right? I am for. Let's go to the business. There are aspects of the business that are not like, yes, I could do them, but they're not the part that I enjoy. Like, I enjoy being with the customer. But why am I still doing all the production? That takes a lot of time and energy. It doesn't make sense. And then. So why do I do it then, right? If. If this isn't saying. If I'm saying that this is the part that I want to change, why do I keep doing it and then complain that, oh, there's no much time. It drains my energy because once I do that the day after, you know, I don't really feel good. I'm all achy because my moving all the stuff and why, right? So when you think about it this way, like everything you want. And in the podcast, like he gave, Mike gave the example of going out, going out, approaching the girl of your dreams or the guy, whatever it is. Like, we'll use the girl of the dreams. So I have the girl of my dreams standing in front of me and I'm like, I want to approach, but I'm afraid to approach her. Why? Why am I willing to stay something comfortable? I've gone on dates with people where I was attracted to them, but I knew it wasn't right for what? Because why am I afraid to lose the possibility of going for what I want versus staying with something that I know I don't want? It doesn't make sense, but yet we do it all the time. So the purpose of this is, I want you to understand. Okay, well, where am I incongruent, right? And where am I making. Even though I know I'm experiencing the thing that I don't want, I'm not making the new decisions to go towards the thing I want. So last night, one of the other synchronicities, I was on YouTube and not YouTube, I was on Instagram and I actually have, like, I developed kind of a liking for Instagram. Now, I didn't like it before because I would get sucked into, but then after following a lot of things that I find valuable now, I enjoy it because I always get some good information. And there's this guy who is, who is promoting, I guess an Amazon course. And I think it's, it was his girlfriend that was doing it and she says, listen, you can, you know, you say you don't want to go back to school. This was the example. You don't want to go back to school because it'll take four years. And if it takes four years, you're going to be 32 by the time you're done. But listen, you're going to be 32 anyways. I mean, you could take that analogy and use it in any way you'd like, right? Because a lot of time we use time is constraint. Time is like, oh, well, yes, this is what I want. But you know, it's going to take time. I don't want to devote the time, it's going to take too long. But yet we're going to get to that place anyways. And if we don't act, we're going to get to that place staying exactly where we are. So why not take the chance? Why not take the step of faith and go towards the thing you desire? You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. The only thing you could possibly, I wouldn't even say lose is you'll learn a lesson. You'll come away with the new distinction of maybe something you didn't see before because you were just sitting on the sidelines scared. But if it does work out, especially now, you have a completely new life. Do you get what I'm saying? So let's wrap it up in a little tiny, beautiful box. We'll make it a blue box. Maybe we'll make it like a Tiffany's box with a nice white bow. But what I want you to do is think about the areas where you're not happy with your life, where you know you needed to make a change but you just been putting it off because maybe it was time. Whatever. I don't know what the excuse is. Ultimately it comes down to fear. Your fear of change, your fear of it not working, whatever it is. Now look at the result you're getting by not acting. It's a self fulfilling prophecy. And to describe, all right, well this is what I've by not acting, what are the experiences you've had? And really dig into it and say, and how does it feel? And then next write what it is. What would happen if you took a new action? What would happen if you just did the thing and you said, you know what, screw all the stuff. The time that I was worried about, what if I just dug in? What if it worked? How would it feel just to immerse yourself in something you know you love and enjoy? Right? Screw everything else, screw the time, right? What if you just immerse yourself in and all of a sudden you realize, wow, I really like this. Or you, you started to see results because you made a commitment and now all of a sudden you feel great about yourself. Get, get attached to those emotions, get attached to those feelings because that's what's going to make you forward. That's what's going to push you to that next level. That's what's going to give you the things you want. Okay? So anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed this. Like, these are all like lessons that I get in my own life and I want to share them with you because I want you to live your best life. And also going back to like life, we have this misconception that life has to be perfect all the time. I'm the first one. I will tell you that it's not perfect all the time, right? There are aspects of my life that I'm not happy with. Like living situation where I'm going to change that now, but there's still a lot of fear and uncertainty around it. Relationship. I mean, I'm kind of happy where I am right now. I still want to travel the world and all and I don't want to have a relationship. But you know, there's areas that everybody has to work on, but there's also areas that you are excelling in if you're honest with yourself. So just accept that you know what, life is a growing experience and just live it to the best of your ability. Go after what your heart is desiring. That's the best you can do. And go after with all of your heart. So I hope you enjoyed again, I hope you enjoyed this podcast, guys. Thank you so much for tuning in. If you did. Please, if you enjoyed what you're hearing here, subscribe. Do not miss an episode. Because by hearing this over and over and over and over again, by listening to my other episodes, what you're doing is you're training your brain right to one, become more self aware because you can't change something that you're not aware of, something that you're unconscious of. Secondly, you're I want to train you to say, okay, well what is it that I want? What is it that I want? What is it that I want? When you train yourself to go after look at that. Instead of what you don't want, now you're moving towards what you want instead of what you don't desire. And that is really what's what it's all about. So again, if you like this, subscribe. Do not miss an episode. If you have any questions, comments, or would like to buy some awesome Rouse Coffee, which I promise is the best start to your day, you can do so by visiting www.donnyrouse.com d o n n y r a u s.com I hope you enjoy this guys. God bless you all so much. Thank you so much for tuning in and I will see you again soon.