Measure of an Amazing Life - Certainty and Uncertainty

Hi, guys. My name is Donny Rouse, and you are listening to the podcast One Life Measure of an Amazing Life. You may have heard the quote before that says, the quality of your life is directly related to the amount of uncertainty. Again, the amount of uncertainty you can comfortably handle. That was Mr. Anthony Robbins who quoted that term. But I want you to kind of just take that, think about that for a second. What exactly does that mean? The amount of uncertainty we could comfortably handle? One of the first things that comes to my mind whenever I hear that quote is I think of the quote that says, variety is the spice of life. And it goes back to thinking, well, if you knew everything that was going to happen on a daily basis, right, if you knew how exactly the events of your life were going to unfold, what excitement would that be like? Would that be a life that you would want? You know, maybe in the beginning it might seem nice, oh, I got this house. I have this perfect job. But then after a while, it might seem kind of dull, it might seem flat, because it's the uncertainty that adds that spice, that pizazz into your life. But before we can really even touch upon that, what I'm going to do is I want to go into the six human needs, focusing mainly on two of them, certainty and uncertainty. Because these are probably. Well, I think something like 90% of the population actually has the needs of certainty and significance as their primary drivers in life, their primary needs. I was one of them. And the problem with that is that if those. Your two needs, it's leading you to a life of pain. And so what we're gonna do here is that we're gonna set you on a new journey of life by helping you consciously navigate those decisions. Because a lot of times they're made unconsciously, right? Especially since they're made in their head. When you're in your head, you're dead. So anything you're trying to do in your head, it's kind of hard to see because your mind literally will jump around a million things at once. But when you put it on paper and when you actually give time to answer to the appropriate and the right questions, it'll give you a new perspective on life. So let's start with the six human needs. What are the six human needs? So the six human needs are certainty. The opposite is uncertainty, significance, love, and connection. And then two spiritual needs, and that is contribution and growth. The last two will lead you to a very, very happy life. But you kind of need all of them, right? And the whole basis here is that you'll sacrifice your needs. I'm sorry, you'll sacrifice your values in order to meet your needs. Meaning you may have values here, but if your needs are getting met, you're going to find a way to meet them, even if it means breaking these kind of like these ethic, these rules you have, these values you have on life. I was doing this exercise myself and it was actually a meditation and it was going through life and it had me kind of vividly going through each of these categories of needs because they come in pairs and using this marker to say, okay, well where do you fall in the spectrum? And when I talk about the spectrum, I'm using uncertainty and certainty as one kind of range. Right, one spectrum, right. So you either 100% certain, 100% uncertain.

Right.

And you fall somewhere in that line how you're living your life currently. So I was evaluating my life and what I found was that I was not living the way I knew my purpose or my purposeful, my most fulfilling life would have me live. I was looking at it like from everything from the place I live to how I show up in my business and how I want to experience life. When I look at, when I thought of like, all right, well, what does it mean to be 100% certain?

Right.

100% certain is like everything you know is literally dial, like you know, you, the decisions are made before you even do it. You know exactly what you're going to eat, you know exactly what you're going to do for tasks. It's all, it's all pre planned. So in some areas of my life, I actually really enjoyed that part, like for doing my workout plans when I was competing right there, there's no ambiguity where I, I knew exactly what I had to do. And as a result it made getting that result very easy. I didn't care about like the redundancy of it. But that was a very, very different, it was very different for my work life as well as my emotional life. I value like the, the amount of certainty varied significantly when I looked at these other areas of my life and it had me answering, well, all right, well how am I living this life right now?

Right?

Like the places where I live when I thought one of the things we'll get into is kind of like they call it like the rocking chair test. When you look out and you imagine yourself being in your rocking chair at the age of 100, we'll set a life expectancy pretty high up there. And you're giving, you're talking one of Your grandchildren says, hey, Grandpa, can you tell me about your life? And when you give that account of your life and you go through it, it's like, well, what is it that you're going to tell them? And will you be happy or will you be filled with regret? So going back to, like, to the story and what I had mentioned before is that a lot of the time we make these decisions and we do them unconsciously. And what do I mean by that? Unconsciously? So I was actually searching for that quote on uncertainty, and I came across, when I put in that. That quote, something else came up about tools of measure. And it says this. All measurements have a degree of uncertainty, regardless of the precision and accuracy. This is caused by the limitation of the measuring instrument as well as the skill of the experimenter making the measurement. And the problem is that we are horrible at making those measurements, especially if there's. If there's. No. We don't have a system of making that measurement.

Right?

Because think about it. Think about on default, right? I looked at my life and I was, all right, there's a lot. Like, when I look at the things that I enjoy doing, there was a lot of uncertainty that I literally. That was the spice. It's the memories that I cherished the most were those uncertain times. And when I looked and I reflected on how I was currently living, it wasn't aligned with the degree of risk or the degree of uncertainty I was willing to take on. And the reason was, a lot of the stuff I was doing was done unconsciously. Those were like the shoulds of life. Oh, you should do your business this way. You should stay close to home and you should do this. All the shoulds. And I wasn't really. I wasn't taking an account to say, all right, well, based on this, what am I willing to. How much certainty do I need in this area?

Right?

And what if I vary this way? How much uncertainty? So I didn't look at the scale of things, so I didn't know how it would fall and how it would impact my life, how it would make me feel. Because really, it all comes down to emotions. And every person's life is unique. We all have to make that decision on how we want to live the life that we're living. As I was going through this again, I realized that we're faulty because we crave these things like significance, uncertainty. If those are your two primary drivers, it's going to skew everything else in your life. Me, I love uncertainty. But at the same time, it was one of my highest needs, with my highest needs. How do you think that is going to affect my relationships?

Right?

My signi. Let's say my love relationship, meeting somebody. I'm single right now. Think about that. How is gonna impact if I have to be certain about it. Being certain means likely. That I'm questioning, oh, well, does this person really love me? Is this the right relationship? And I'm constantly looking for that certainty. And as a result, I'm giving myself more uncertainty. And how about stepping forward in business, if you have a business of your own, you know that there is no such thing as certainty there. In fact, you know, that's not the reason why you get in the business in the first place. But if you're looking for certainty in your business, how is that going to make you evaluate risks or opportunities?

Right?

You might start questioning opportunities to the point where you've missed them completely. And, you know, and same thing could be said for the financial side of your life. If you're trying to value every single thing, you might take on investments that might give you a return, but not nearly return for the acceptable risk. You are depending on where you are in your life, you're missing out there. But you have to do what's comfortable for you, and you have to be comfortable with the choices you make. If that's the life you want to live, by all means, it's your life. Live it that way. So what I want to do here next is I want to give you some questions and like, maybe even like a little guided visualization. And I want you to answer these questions for the two needs. Significance. I'm sorry, certainty and uncertainty. And just to see, all right, well, how am I living my life right now? Am I living with the amount of certainty or uncertainty that I'm comfortable with? If so, like, where do I have to move this that lever? Like, where do I have to move to start living aligned with what I'm willing to take? And that was. I mean, it was a big. It was a big hang. Like, it was a big awareness moment for me because I was kind of like more towards the certainty line and realized that I was more towards. Not in the middle, but more towards the uncertainty side because that was what made me feel alive. So without further ado, let's dive into that right now. So let's do the lever test. If you want. I would say close your eyes. It'll make it more effective. So imagine closing your eyes. You have one lever in front of you. We're not going to go into the Other needs. We're just going to focus on certainty and uncertainty. But there's one lever, and it's labeled. On the top it says certainty. On the bottom of the lever it says uncertainty. So I want you to imagine your hand reaching out and pushing that lever all the way up to the top where it's most certain. And for a moment, I want you to imagine life in that space. In that space of certainty, complete certainty. All the decisions are made for you. All the actions, all the things that happen day to day are already set in place. You know what is going to happen at every single moment. There are no surprises. How do you feel here? What kind of feelings stir up in your body when I speak of this? Are they good feelings? Does it leave you kind of uneasy or does it leave you kind of relieved? Where are you on that spectrum now? I want you to imagine your hand reaching back out there again. Eyes are still closed. And I want to imagine taking that lever now, shifting it all the way to the bottom, to the opposite side, where uncertainty is. What is life like there? And uncertainty is where nothing is certain, right? You are living life at that edge. And the edge means like, there's literally there's nothing certain. It's the complete opposite of where you just were. Where even day to day, you're not even sure of what's going to happen, right? There's no security in your life. What kind of events, what kind of experiences are you having from that side? How does it feel in your body? Does it feel good? Does it feel bad? Does it make you feel anxious? Do you feel excited? Next, I want you to take that lever now, and I want you to move it right up so it fits literally right in the center of that spectrum. And then I want you to imagine life here. Life here is like, you know, you do your work, you do all the stuff that you're really certain about. But then it also gives you some time to take those trips and do things that are uncertain. Maybe going out with friends, meeting new people, having new experiences. How does it feel there? Does it feel good? Does it feel bad? Does it feel like, you know, that's the balance you want? The decision is yours, right? Like, there is no right or wrong answer. It's where you feel comfortable, where you feel called to. So with that in mind, let me ask you the next question. Where are you currently living? When I say, where are you currently living? If we're looking at that scale from certainty and uncertainty, where is your lever located? Is it all the way to the top? Where certainty is. Is it all the way to the bottom? Or perhaps maybe it's just below the top of certainty, where there's a lot of certainty. And maybe, you know, you might go to a new restaurant every now and then to give you that little spice. Where are you on there next? What changes have to be made to move you from where you are, where that lever is currently located, to where you decided that you wanted that lever to be the appropriate mix of certainty and uncertainty? What has to be done? And then I'm going to leave you with one more little guided meditation. So again, eyes closed. You should not have opened them yet. Eyes closed. I want you to imagine now you're in that rocking chair, rocking back and forth, back and forth, and you have all of your grandkids or your nieces and nephews, whatever it may be, all sitting in front of you. And one of them asks, grandpa or uncle, whatever it is, can you tell me, tell me. We want to hear about your life. Tell me about your life. What is your account? Do you think about all the exciting things, like how do you start that journey with them? Or are you looking back and looking at all the things you didn't do or should have done, but never took that risk, never went after? So that is what I'm going to leave you guys with today. I hope you enjoyed this this episode. I found it to be very eye opening for me and it's always a good practice to do. I might even do an episode on both the significance and yeah, I probably will do one on the other four human needs just because I think, you know, it'll help you kind of really visualize and create a new vision for your life and to make those adjustments, even if you just, you're not even writing it down, but even if you just did the visualizations as you're listening to this episode. So that is it, guys. I hope you enjoyed this episode. If you did, please give it a share. Share with someone who you feel might benefit from doing this little guided exercise. And please subscribe to the podcast. This way you don't miss a single episode, especially when I do the follow up to the other human needs, because I really do believe that it'll impact your life tremendously. And as always, thank you so, so much for tuning in. I realize that you could literally be spending your time doing a million things, but you chose to spend it here and I hope you got a lot out of it. If you have any questions, you can send them to me via Instagram at Donny D O n n y R a u s Again D o n Y R a u s if you'd like to connect with me personally, you can do so by visiting my website, donnyrous.com, d o n y r a u s.com there you can sign up for a coaching session or kind of like a call just to kind of see if it's something that we can work to together. Or you could just sign up to the mailing list and receive some inspirational emails on a weekly monthly basis. That is all I got for you guys today. Hope you enjoyed this episode. God bless and I will see you again soon.