No Excuses - Embrace Pleasure

Most people spend their entire life stressed without ever giving a single thought as to what it is they really want or what's important to them. See, I'm here to cut through all that noise connecting you to yourself and the life that you were meant to live. I used to slave away at a corporate job that I hated, but I broke through the social norms and pursued my passion. As a result, I own my own coffee company, I'm espresso sommelier, and I get to travel the world. You too can live a life that you love, but it starts with getting clear about what you want. It starts with a new decision. I'm your host, Donnie Rouse, and you are listening to the podcast One Life. No Excuses. Often it's very easy to say no to the things that we know that will bring us joy or bring us happiness. And we, we say no because we created this story in our mind as to why we shouldn't do A, B and C. But if you're honest with yourself, the reason why you're not doing what it is that brings joy might not be because of the people or because the people who go to that thing are a certain way. Would it just might be because is because of a fear or maybe an insecurity. So let me ask you a couple questions. What is it that you maybe have been wanting to do or at some point you used to love doing, but you stopped engaging in that activity, you may find reasons like, oh, because these people are X or I hate this place because X And the next, I want you just to get really honest with yourself, like, well, what is the real reason that you're not doing whatever it is that you had done in the past? And I think that you might be surprised to find out what the real reason is. Last thing, once you've uncovered this and I'm going to go into a story, so I'll explain this because it's a personal story. Once you've uncovered it, the next thing is to just give yourself permission to enjoy, to have some pleasure in your life. This past Sunday, I had woken up and I felt pretty shitty. It may be the espressos that I had the night before, but I was. And I had a big dinner as well, so I didn't really sleep well and I woke up. And whenever I wake up and it's a little bit later than I would have liked to have woken up, I normally am like, oh my God, the day is over. It might be like 9 o' clock or I think I woke up like 9:30 or maybe even close to 10 o'. Clock. So it put me in this state where I was like, oh my God, the day's over. What am I going to do now? Whenever that happens, I'll give you kind of a little side note. Whenever that happens, realize that you create your days and you can get just as much done in an hour as you can sometimes do in 24 hours. It all depends on how you're directing your time. But I was not in that space. I was not. That was not my mindset when I woke up that morning. So I think I. I'm trying to. I don't remember what I did next, but I might have. Likely I meditated, I grabbed some breakfast and I was going, well, what do I do? The Japanese event that I was going to the city for or was planning going to the city for started at 9:30. So now here we are. It's like 10 o'. Clock. It's gonna take me an hour to get in. And I'm like, well, you know what? It's gonna. It's not worth it. It's not. What's the point? But then I remember, you know, I came to my senses. I was like, alright, well, if I go for at least like an. Even if I can make it for like a couple hours, it would still be worth it because I know how it's gonna make me feel. So I, you know, I called my friend James and he's not picking up. And I'm like, all right, gosh, he's not picking up. Am I going to go alone? So I got dressed and I was getting ready. I was like, screw it, I'm going alone. I'm just going to drive in. Because I know at the very least, even if I were to only make an hour, I could walk up the west side, that path and just admire the beautiful views, the beautiful day. It'll be nice just to be outside. I drive into Manhattan and I park on the west side. I walk over to the park and I'm trying to look for this event. The Facebook event is. It doesn't really give a location. It says the, you know, Japanese day at the Central Park Bandshell. I'm like, what the frig's a band shell? And I, I saw, I see that there is a band shell. It's where like people will, like, bands will play. And it's like almost like a. It's like a stage. So I go there. I do not see a single Japanese tent or person of Asian descent anywhere around me. I mean, there were some around Me, but they were not for this event. So I'm looking there. I'm like, all right, well, where the hell is it? So I decided to. As you know, I'll just walk around the park. It's a beautiful day. I'm just gonna start walking around the road now. Let me see if I find it. I walking around, and I'm just admiring. I'm enjoying the day because I have had this high. Like, the moment I stepped on the subway, I was glowing. I was just so happy. There's so much diversity on the subway, and that fills me up. I felt like a million dollars as I was sitting there. And I'm like, oh, my God. Like, I love that I could look at this train. I could literally see people from all walks of life. And then when I was in the park, I was literally. I was doing the same thing. I was, like, looking around. I was just so happy to be around people and many different people and just having the change of scenery. I was laying in the park. There was this little grouch path near the pickleball courts, and I was, you know what? Let me. I'm going to take a pause. Let me lay down, catch some sun. So I don't. If you're looking at the video as I'm speaking, I didn't get much sun, but I was laying down there. I put my shirt down, and then I just kind of sat there. And then I noticed some feelings come in. Some. Some familiar feelings come in. I started being judgmental of myself. I started saying, oh, well, you know, talking about the way I dress and started, like, breaking myself apart. And I was creating a false narrative as to why I didn't like the city. Oh, because it's X, Y, and Z. I don't even know what I was saying. And it was apparent in this because I had been doing a lot of journaling, and it was just very, very crystal clear to me that the reason I was preventing myself from having pleasure, meaning, like, going out, engaging with more people, with more people, doing more things, was this fear of not being good enough. This fear of maybe, you know, people talking about the way I dress. I don't know why I have that. I thank my brothers for that one. Growing up, you know, when I realized that, you know, the voices that were going on and that it wasn't fun, factual, Right. It wasn't real. Anytime you have these voices telling you something in your head or you have this belief system, it's really cool to kind of step outside yourself because you can coach yourself you can be like, all right, well, if I were stepping outside my body, watching someone else experience what I am experiencing, what would I tell to them? What would I tell them? And all of a sudden, now you can start coaching yourself. And that's what I did. I realized that it was all in my head. I was like, well, this is friggin stupid, right? Because I had been, you know, have you ever, you know how something's gonna make you feel, you know, once you engage in it, that you are gonna have a blast. It's gonna light you up, you'll be living on a high probably for like the next few days. But then the opportunity comes along and you don't do it because you're like, oh, it's too much effort. Oh God, I gotta, I gotta drive in. What if there's traffic? You know, you start to stack all these reasons as to why rather than just doing the damn thing because you know it's gonna make you feel good. So the point of this story, the point I'm trying to make here, is just to do the things that are gonna make you feel good. And for no other reason but that. But also when you're doing those things, if there's something that was. Just be conscious of the mental chatter because there may be something there that is preventing you because you feel like you're not good enough or you feel like you're being judged. And I want you to know, 9 out of 10 times this is all just shit in your head. But you have to be conscious, you have to be quiet in order to realize that. And it's so easy to constantly be distracted in this world because there's always something vying for your attention. There's always noise. I mean, I walk by tv, all of a sudden, something I heard on TV is lingering in my mind for days later. It's set up like that. So I want you to make a. I challenge you to say, all right, well what are you going to do every single week just for the sole reason that it makes you feel good? My challenge to myself was to go into New York City every single week for the rest of the summer and to put myself out there just to be around people with similar interests, go to cafes just to be out. It's so easy to cycle around your day, running around the same routine and then feeling, well, man, is this all there is? Is this what life is about? People, after working in jobs for most of their lives, usually hit that wall and realize, well, they're like, fuck, if this is all there is. I don't want any more of it. This is not what I remember. I had met a girl. I was in Mazda getting my car serviced. I don't recall the line of work this girl was in, but she was telling me how she was sitting at her desk. It was kind of like the epiphany I had when I was working corporate accounting. I was like, I can't take this work anymore. I felt like a robot. And then I just said, screw it. And her story mirrored mine. She's like, I was doing this. And I was like, this can't be all there is to life. So she quit her job, she started her own business. It might have been like some kind of consulting business. And she started traveling the world. Funny how I'm talking about pleasure and all of a sudden, travel. Well, travel is a part of everything, right? Because traveling opens your eyes to getting new perspective, to experiencing new things, to putting you in the unfamiliar. Because that's where life happens, right? Life doesn't happen when you are, you know, in all the things that you plan, life happens in the unexpected. Life hap. That's the. That's the spice. That's the variety of life. And so in closing, I'm not sure where I was going with that, but in closing, I want you to just make the decision and the promise to yourself just to do something that's going to make you feel good and for no other reason other than it's gonna make you feel good, and commit to that for the rest of the summer. August 31, if you're not happy doing it anymore, then I let you off the hook. You don't have to do it. But until August 31, pick one thing and then do it once a week or more if you want, but at least once a week, for no other reason that it makes you feel good. Don't steal the satisfaction, the pleasure from yourself because you have these shitty beliefs telling you as to why you're not good enough or why you can't do it, or that you didn't work hard enough, therefore you're not worthy of it. Whatever it is that you're telling yourself, throw it out the window, flush it down the toilet, you don't need it. Make the promise yourself. Just do something. Life is way too short to not prioritize things, to not feel good. I mean, at the very least, every single week, right? You might. It's great if you can do it every day and do something that feels good. You should do something every day. Your work, everything should be about feeling good. And at the very least, I'll take a week. Give me a week. And then slowly we can work on making it every day. But do something for yourself every week to celebrate just being alive, just waking up every day and doing whatever it is that you do, whatever service you provide in the world, showing up for your family, whatever it may be, and give yourself the pleasure of enjoying life. That is all I have for you guys today. I hope you enjoyed this rant as much as I enjoyed telling you about the story. Because it's funny. I like when I observe things in my own life because I know that if I am observing them and I am having these challenges, I know that there are many people out there who are having the same challenge. So you're not alone. And I want you to know that this life is meant for you to enjoy and that you should love the life you live. So with that said, remember, you only get one life. Live it. God bless and I will see you again. And I forgot one thing. If you have any, hit that subscribe button. If you're watching me still hit that subscribe button. If you have any questions or comments, you can send them to me via my website@www.donnyrouse.com. d O N N Y O R A U S Com. Now I'm done. That is all I've got. God bless and I will see you again next week.