Other Side of Fear - How to Integrate and Realign With Your Truth

Most people spend their entire life stressed without ever giving a single thought as to what it is they really want or what's important to them. See, I'm here to cut through all that noise connecting you to yourself and the life that you were meant to live. I used to slave away at a corporate job that I hated, but I broke through the social norms and pursued my passion. As a result, I own my own coffee company, I'm espresso sommelier and I get to travel the world. You too can live a life that you love, but it starts with getting clear about what you want. It starts with a new decision. I'm your host, Donnie Rouse and you are listening to the podcast One Life. What's going on guys? Donnie Rouse here. And today I am going to talk about something that is extremely important because it has everything to do with you living the life that you were meant to live. What I call your one life. So let's get right into it. Hi guys, my name is Donny Rouse and you are listening to the podcast One Life, the Other side of Fear. Where are you living in your life? Are you living in alignment with what it is you say you want? If you don't know what that is, then we have another issue. Or I should say, not even an issue. We have another step. We need to get clear about what it is that you want. So this way you can plot the course forward and understand what exactly it is that you need to do in order to get there. Right? The best time to enter the you need a map before you enter the woods. But if you're not operating from a map, then you'll never know if you've reached your destination. But that is besides the point of what we're trying to talk about here. But right now I want you to know, like what are you? What's your enjoyment of life? Like what, what is the day? Not even the day to day, right? Because we can judge the day to day and have these difficulties and come up with the over encompassing statement that life is shit when it's really not. Right. Life will give these challenges because life wants us to grow. It is up to us to find the more empowering meaning in the challenge that we are facing. But aside from that, sometimes you need to start celebrating what you already have and the achievements that you've already done because you can only move forward with celebration. When you're beating yourself up, you stop all action. Think about it. When you're being hard on yourself and you're beating yourself up, what kind of action do you take very little? How motivated are you? Extremely little. But when you are praising yourself, when you're finding the learnings, how do you respond? You're more. You're willing to take more steps because you realize that it's all part of the learning process. So the point I'm trying to make here is that you have successes. There are successful areas in your life that need to be recognized and integrated, because it is by doing that that it'll allow you to move forward in the direction that is in alignment with you. The purpose of this podcast. I was on a call with my coach, and I was sharing with her just some reflections of feelings that I was going. And she said, listen, you know that you're doing it right? You're living your one life. Do you ever stop just to consider what you've done? And I thought about it for a while. I'm like, well, yeah, sometimes. More often than not. No, to be honest with you, more often than not, I'm like, going, going, going, going. And when I try to reflect back on the things that I had done, it seems like an afterthought, which is robbing myself of the lessons as well as the praise and the achievements that I deserve. That is the reason why you do it in the first place, right? Because you want to feel good about it. Because by feeling good about gives you more stamina, more belief, more potential to move forward and do bigger things. But if you're just avoiding and brushing it under the carpet, then you're missing out on that potential energy. You're missing out on just making yourself feel good. So looking at that, I realized that more often than once in a while, I'm not completely blind to all the achievements that I've done, and I'm not blind to the fact that I don't give up. If I say I'm gonna do something, I follow through. And it may take a day, it may take a year, it may take freaking 20 years, which is what we're going on with my cold Roman espresso. But I will not give up. It's a standard that I have for myself. And so looking at this, we're talking about it, and as she brought it to light, and I started to realize that there's a lot of celebrations that I wasn't integrating. You know, like, the fact that I'm here in Miami. I came down here, I moved down here for six months. And initially I was. Before on the call, I was kind of getting hard on myself. I'm like, yeah, but I gotta Go back to Connecticut because my business needs me there. To be all honest, I knew that was always part of it. And the main point I want to make here was when I checked in myself, when I really, really thought about it. You know, sometimes we know what our heart is telling us and we fight it. And we're like, ah, shut up, heart. I don't want to hear you. But we know what the heart is telling us, and yet we feel like the mind will tell us, oh, we should be doing that. This. It should be this way when you really just need to quiet down and trust in the heart. Like, don't trust the mind with matters of the heart. And so thinking about this, I'm like, well, yeah, you know what? I always knew. I knew that I would go back. And then we started talking about Cold Roman and the path forward from it. Because it's been a point for me that, you know, literally, for. Since I've been doing it, literally, that I'm like, all right, well, what's the point of, like, how do you grow? And what's in integrity? I could easily, if I wanted to, if I wanted to grow the brand and, you know, give it to a food scientist and literally put shit in a bottle and then put it on the shelf and have it taste like Cold Roman, I could do that, right? I could. I could go that way, but it would be out of integrity. Like, when I think about it. And I know that the entire process, like, since I've. And it scared me, right? Because I know that it's not an easy path forward. I know that the path that my heart is telling me to go down is one that will be challenging. And when I say this to you, what I really mean by, is that my heart is telling me with regard to the beverage is that I want to keep the beverage refrigerated. I don't want to shelf stabilize. I don't want to put any shit in my beverage. I want it to be pure. I want it to be enjoyed. I don't want to dump crap in it. And the fear that I was getting hopping is one, well, what is this going to mean for my life? What is it going to mean for my freedom? And then secondly was like, all right, well, I thought about the consultants, people that would potentially be investing in my endeavor and what they might say, right? Because their biggest thing is like, let's see your return, and let's have the return today. It seems to be the process is like, so many people do. It's just like, all right, let's get rich and screw everybody else. And they give them like, you know, they give them the arm. And that is not in integrity with who I am or what I want to be. And so, and I. So the fear was that, like, well, who's gonna. Who am I gonna approach that is gonna appreciate what I'm doing? Truth is, that's just a bullshit story. There's gotta be plenty of people who are willing to invest because that's what the differentiator is, right? That's what's going to make my product stand apart from everything else on the shelf. So there is going to be someone. And it's overcoming the fear. Which brings me to the point I want to reflect back at you. Like, where are you doing? Good. Let's acknowledge that first. And next I want to ask you a question like, where are you not living in alignment? Where do you feel stuck? Right? And there. No, I'm not throwing swords at you because I go into stuckness all the time, right? Stuckness is not a bad place because it means that you need to make new decisions. It means that you need to take a new massive action, right? Because it's only when you're in that pain that you're like, oh, what do I do? But the thing is, you can't stay there. Because you stay there, it's gonna debilitate you. But I mean, but if you have the belief, like, Such as the belief system I have, like, I never give up. It doesn't matter. If it takes me one year, it doesn't matter. It takes me 50 years. I hope it doesn't take 50 years. But you know, eventually, as long as you don't give up and you keep trying, you're gonna. You're. It's gonna come, right? Because you'll. The. The belief system you had, eventually you'll get so sick and tired of it that you'll say, screw this and you'll try something new. You just can't give up. So where is that for you? And the thing I want you to acknowledge. You're listening to my word now. What I want you to acknowledge is this. Why you haven't made a move, why you're feeling stuck, is because you're fearful, right? You're fearful of what you may lose. You're fearful of what you may gain. You're fearful that it may not work out. This is all bullshit. The truth is that what's on the other side of fear is far greater than where you are right now. But you need to connect to that. So this way you can take the necessary actions, but you also have to believe that it's possible. And you got to take the steps and trust that, you know, it's not going to be perfect. It's going to look like a shit show. Probably right? But that's what the process is. When I was talking to this coach, I was saying, she's like, well, who the hell do you compare yourself to? I was like, well, I'm like, I'm laughing at it now because it sounds stupid, me, like, saying this on the microphone. I'm like, yeah, I compare myself to these influencers who are successful and have like thousands of millions of followers. She goes, and how do you think they got there? I was like, one post at a time, just like me. And she's like, exactly. So not to trust the. Trust the process. And it's not even said, like, I'm not even saying that I want to have a million. Everything else that goes into the comparison mode and, you know, yes, I want to have more financial freedom and the ability to move around the world more so than I do now. And that's coming, right? And, you know, I think where I'm getting hung up is wanting to, like, wanting it like, oh, this should have happened yesterday. When the truth is I'm on my own path and I am living in alignment with the vision for my life. When I look back at all the decisions, all the hardships I've had, right? People share their highlight reel, but no one shares the freaking hardships like this. I've had a shit ton of hardships, even just moving down to Miami. While like, granted, thankfully the highlights have been better than the down moments. But there's been times where I felt lonely, where I spent a lot of my time in my room alone doing work. And really, Donnie, just walk outside. Really walk outside. But. But with that said, you know, there are hardships and it's. But it's all part of the growing experience. And looking at the life that I've lived, there's not a single day that I. That I look at what I've done, all the decisions I made, there's not a single day that I'd look back and regret. Not a single day. And as I, As I shared this with her, I started to get emotional. Tears started to well up in my eyes because it was one of those things I didn't acknowledge. So whether, wherever you are, you may be like, oh, well, Donnie, it's easy for you. You have your own job, you don't have kids or whatever. It may be, but I want you to stop yourself right there. Because it's a bullshit story, right? You get to decide what you want to do, be do how you want to live in this moment. But it comes with a decision, not blaming anyone else. And I'm not saying that to make you feel bad. I'm saying that to empower you to realize that you have the choice at any moment to make a decision to transform your life. But also acknowledging the struggle. Like, acknowledging that, listen, when you're doing something for the first time, you're not going to do it good, right? Anything you'll probably perform like, really, really crappy. And then it might be a struggle for one day, it might be a struggle for one year. But eventually as you start to do it, you start to make new distinctions. You start to become comfortable with what it is that you're doing. Like, the whole point of growth is that think of your life as a box. And every time you grow, you're inching that box out further. But the funny thing about this box is that this box has a little bit of a, has this elastic barrier. So when you start to go out, you start to bend this area of the box when all of a sudden it's not straight edged and it starts to bow out a little bit. And as a result it'll try to snap you back in. But the what giving up before without realizing that it's supposed to be hard, right? You're supposed to have struggle. That's what growing is. And so if you could reframe that, then you could realize that you could just keep pushing up against that barrier until all sudden, plop. You plop through the other side. And. And now the box has gone back to a box and now you're in a new box a little bit larger than where you were before. And then the same thing happens. You push, push, push. It bows out and then plop. You go through that one. But that is the process of life, that is the process of growing. So in closing, what I want you to do is just to look at the struggle you're having and just look at it with kindness and grace. It's where you are. Acknowledge the successes. And if you can't find any successes, just acknowledge the fact that you are still here and you're still moving forward. And even though there's a challenge in front of you, you are still showing up to meet that challenge. Celebrate that, and then just keep, just keep going. But first and foremost, get clear about what it is that you desire, what it is that you want then once you know that, then you can do it, right? The best time to have a map is before you enter the woods. And if you don't have a map, then there's no possible way to know where you're going. So I. That is it for this podcast. I hope you enjoyed this. If you like this, please hit that subscribe button. Share this with five people whom you believe can benefit from it because who can't benefit from giving more self love and acknowledging the journey. Right, everybody share with everybody. And I want to thank you for spending time so if you found this to be to impart some wisdom on you and you don't know what you want in life, I encourage you to go to my website and send me a message for the One Life Blueprint. So the One Life Blueprint is what I It's a program that I created where I help people get clarity on the 12 categories of their life. And so by knowing what it is that you want, we also become aware of where are we getting hung up? Like, where are we now? Where are we getting hung up? So this way we could eliminate those conflicts, those distractions, and we can move forward in alignment with the belief system and a strategy to get us forward. Because otherwise, if you don't have a strategy, if you don't have a clear vision, what happens? You get distracted, right? Something else comes in, ooh, shiny object, you rush over to it. Ooh, another shiny object, you rush over to that. And all of a sudden you're like, I don't even know what I want anymore. You know, you get sidetracked. And all of a sudden now you have to like shut everything off and be like, okay, what am I doing? And you have to reconnect. But hopefully you need to start with a vision. Long story short, you need to start with the vision. So if that sounds of interest to you, send me a message via my website, www.donnyrouse.com d o n n y r a us.com and just say, hey, I am interested in hearing more about the One Life Blueprint and how it could help me get clarity and live my one life. And I will message you back personally. That is it, guys. I hope you enjoy this podcast again. Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you so much for tuning in. God bless you guys. Remember, you only get one life. Live fully, live passionately, and most of all, live now. God bless you guys and I will see you again soon.