Out of Victimhood - A Step Towards Conscious Creation

Most people spend their entire life stressed without ever giving a single thought as to what it is they really want or what's important to them. See, I'm here to cut through all that noise connecting you to yourself and the life that you were meant to live. I used to slave away at a corporate job that I hated, but I broke through the social norms and pursued my passion. As a result, I own my own coffee company. I'm espresso sommelier, and I get to travel the world. You too can live a life that you love, but it starts with getting clear about what you want. It starts with a new decision. I'm your host, Donnie Rouse. You are listening to the podcast One Life out of Victimhood. Where are you, Or I should say, what are you playing in your life? Are you playing the victim? Or are you consciously creating the life that you want? There's one foolproof way to understand what exactly your role is and how you're participating. And it's to look at the stories that you're telling in your life. You can look at the umbrella, like when you say, what is life like? You'll often may catch yourself saying, oh, my God. Yeah, life is just so tough. And you might give all the reasons as to why it is the way it is or the way you're experiencing, I should say. But then you can break it down to each individual category to say, all right, well, your life, your finances, your work, your relationships. And there's stories behind each of those, and those will guide you to say, all right, well, what is the controlling force? If you're putting a story, if you're blaming something or an event or something that's happened, then you're playing the victim role. So before I go any further, I'm going to ask you a series of questions, and I want you to just honestly answer them and let me know. You know, or not let me know, but write down and just kind of understand where are you coming from? So let's pick a category. In your life, it could be your health, could be your finances, could be your work. What are the stories you tell yourself about that, as to why it is the way it is, why you're experiencing it the way you're experiencing it. Your finances. You can say, well, because the stock market is down, right? I lost 30% of my portfolio. I, you know, I can't, I can't win. Or maybe that's your story. Maybe like the fact you say you can't win. Whatever. First thing that comes to mind, there's no wrong Right or wrong answer, Just write it down. Secondly, what are the thoughts that come as a result of having the story of having this belief, these thoughts? Because all the thoughts we have end up materializing themselves in our life. There is the quote, one of my favorite quotes that says we don't experience. We're not experiencing the world, we're experiencing ourselves. Namely, we're experiencing the beliefs and the focus that we have day to day that we're bringing in. And so what we want to do is we want to become conscious of where we're putting that focus, these beliefs that are controlling our life. Question number three. What is it that you really want? This can be a hard question because sometimes you can't create when you're in a state of limitation, when you're in a state of lack, right? You have to get into a place of appreciation, a place where you vibrate higher. And from there, that's when the real creation started. That's when all the juices start flowing. And when you have what it is that you want, I want you to literally take one moment right now. Just write down paper and write it down. Say, I am creating. And then write down whatever it is that you want to create next. I want you to read it aloud. When you read it, I want you to consciously hear it. Look at the words as you're reading it on the paper, hear the words penetrate your soul. Then as you're hearing it, I want you to visualize and I want you to feel it. I was doing this work, I was looking at the different areas of my life saying, all right, well, where have I been playing a victim? Where have I been giving a story as to why it is that I don't have whatever it is that I desire. And when I was literally writing out all the areas of my life, something that I'm doing because I want to do in the one life program that I'm creating is to become conscious. And I realized that I was actually playing a victim in the majority of the areas of my life. And again, it's not something to say, oh my God, I'm playing a victim here. And to beat yourself up over it's something. The reason I'm asking this is to give you consciousness, to create awareness. Because once you have awareness now, you can start to make a change. And where you're feeling, where you're feeling in one place, particular area of your life is kind of fluid too, right? Sometimes things just seem to be great and you feel like you're channeling it. You're not even manifesting. You're just channeling. Life is pouring through you or you're allowing it to happen. But then other times, it could be a complete 180. You're playing that victim. It's not to say that this is how your life is. It's more we're trying to say, where are you right now? So when I was looking at my life, I saw that there were all these areas that I was being a victim. I was looking at the stories that I was saying. And the reason I was able to see the stories or realize I was victim, because I didn't have what it was I want. And I wasn't taking action steps toward some of the outcomes that I wanted. In this example. I'll give you an example. With my business, I've been doing my coffee for quite a while. Like, you know, I have my coffee bags. I slowly make these, like, small incremental changes to my labels. And I've been wanting to make like a nice back for a while, but I just kind of kept putting it off because it seemed too arduous. It seems like it was a lot more work. And then I was always worried about me not wanting or liking the work that was being done because I had one bad experience. And I can't really even say it was bad experience because it did push me forward because I'm taking grasp of control of the project and doing it myself. But I had an experience where I had this designer, whatever reason they were, they designed a logo and I wasn't happy with any of the designs, so I had to gave them three quarters of the money up front. And towards the end they're like, well, we could continue to work on this. And I just said, I decided to cut my losses. And I decided to just say, you know what? Screw this. I will learn Illustrator and I will create my own label. So it kind of left a belief. There was a. It created a belief that, like, oh, I'm not going to go with some, because I am not going to. I may not, you know, I'm not going to like the design and I don't want to waste the money, was the belief. Right. But I'm not a designer, so I was. There was something I had held. And then recently some of the resistance was starting to lessen. There started to become an opening there. And as I was thinking about the label, all of a sudden I was, if I were to create this label, what kind of company would I want to create the label? Obviously, I would want someone who has alignment with some of the things that I value, like travel, about experiencing life, enjoying the moment. I thought about that, and I just kind of. I forgot about it. Similarly, how it happens with also with doing my production. So I make a room, bottle an espresso. That's pretty damn good. Really good, actually. And I had been very hesitant to work with different people because I'm talking to a bunch of different beverage formulators, beverage consultants, and everybody is like, oh, send us over your recipe sign, rnda. And there's something that didn't sit well with me about that. So I just kept putting it off and putting it off, putting it off, trying to do it on my own, which was kind of challenging because it's literally trying to learn the entire industry from scratch. Granted, I learned a lot, but now I softened up to the idea that, you know, I could have someone who can help me. And there's a point where I just said, okay, well, what would I have? You know, what would have to happen? And I was like, well, I would have a lawyer draft up this manufacturing NDA. And I had to take action. So then I emailed someone that I'd been working with saying, hey, do you have any references here? Eneb emailed me back. And the people that I met, he gave me a couple suggestions, and the companies that I had gotten from him seemed to just kind of jive. So I said, oh, okay. Then I said, well, how about designers and people who do brand work? Sent me another name, and I went to look at the website, and it was exactly the type of company that I wanted. I was looking at. They were like a company who was into adventure travel, hiking. The owner of this company was very dynamic. And I said, how funny is that? Literally, it started to bring a tear to my eye because it was the exact company. It was the exact type of company that I wanted to work with because their values were aligned with my values, like their commitment to the planet and making the world a better place, social responsibility. I was like, wow. Funny how I was stressing out about all this stuff. But the moment I decided to let go, the moment I also took action. Because you need to take an action, just sit back and hide in your room wishing for all these things to happen without taking action. Because it is through these experiences in life, the people you meet, the experiences you have, that this vision starts to be cultivated and brought into reality, right? Because that's the only way you can get these inputs that are trying to make their way to you is by having new experience. So as I was Looking there, I started to get emotional because I realized I had to take the step. I had to reach out to someone to get some kind of info, to ask for guidance and for help. But I also had to let go of the resistance of what I would get in return. Even now, I got these when I was looking at the recommendations and I saw the company and I was like, wow, they're values are aligned with mine. I heard in my head it was starting to create resistance. Well, what if it doesn't work? And going down all this tangent that was not going to get me to where I wanted. Who knows if it would be the right company? Possibly, maybe, maybe not. But I had to reach out. I had to figure out, let's have that next conversation. Let's see where it goes from there. I've done prior podcasts where we talk about contrast, where we say we, well, all right, well, what is it that you want? What is it that you don't want? What is it you don't want? What is it that you want? Because what you don't want will point to the thing that you want. So that is where I am now and I am taking stuff in. And I have to say, like, it is a little bit scary, right? There's nothing that's going to be lost by me. So maybe some financial investment, but nothing's. There's no danger in me talking to different branding companies and working on the label. There's no danger at all. There's no danger in your life. A lot of the time we could rebound. We can make new decisions. After we make a decision, if it doesn't work out, we get more clarity, we make a new decision. I'll give you one more story. So I entered another weightlifting competition. I'll be doing a physique contest this coming November. And I hit a shit ton of resistance. This past week was like, probably one of the hardest weeks I've had working out. I've had a new workout. So I was doing the work I had from my last training when I was competing in 2017. I had been doing that training for literally five years. And as a result of this whole new training regimen, all of a sudden everything felt uncomfortable, everything was hurting. And then now going back to the diet I had to do, I have to consume. I'm consuming something like 3,300 calories a day. It is tough eating that kind of food, right? Like, I'm like, oh my, I just don't feel like eating anymore. I don't want to see an egg for the rest of my life. But when I think back about when I had the. When I competed in 2017, I remember being very much the same experience. The workout was a little bit different. Like I'm doing split routines versus a day per body part, as I did last time. So it's different. I'm like, the routine I'm doing now bouncing around the gym between different body parts, and it's. You could literally monitor my language now. I was just about to say it's kind of shitty, right? Because the gym gets really packed. So trying to bounce from one body part, like from chest to back in the same day, often you're waiting around. So that's something that, again, a story, right? There's no reason why I can't reach out to my trainers, hey, can we tweak this? Because this is why it's not working, right? Or the other option is to literally blame, take the victimhood and say, oh, it's just not working, and stay frustrated. I just had this realization right now. I'm going to reach out to him and just tell them some of the things that aren't working so we can make some adjustments. So now, after having this, like, this really, really hard week of this workout, I was sitting here and I'm like, well, what is it that I, you know, that I really want, you know, one thing I, when I give a word, I like to follow through. I had committed to doing the contest, so I'm going to follow through with it. And then I was looking at, well, what is, you know, what's been the resistance? It's just. It's a new habit. I have to break through these, literally these routines that I've had for the last five years in training, what I've been eating, how I've been training, and it's going to be uncomfortable, but you got to do it. So let's go back to the manifesting part and we'll go back to the questions I asked you at the beginning. So manifesting, right? So when you go from victimhood and you move over to manifesting, what is it? What exactly does that even mean? Manifesting is creating the vision and allowing, taking the action to move towards it could be described as more of a masculine approach because you're taking the action, you're making things happen, right? And when you talk about manifesting terms like affirmations, visualizations tend to come up and you might be like, oh, well, affirmations. Oh, yes, I am happy. I am happy. Ooh, it's not working. Affirmations. Are not meant there to, to make you feel a certain. They're not there, they're not going to create the change. I should say affirmations are there to start to change the way you feel about something, to bring up any kind of stickiness, any negative beliefs. You're saying, wow, this is what you want, Ah, here's the negative belief or the belief as to why you can't have it, to show you where you're resisting. And then through the art of visualization and feeling, that's where you start to literally take off some of those layers and open yourself up to the experience of having the experience of bringing in that in which you want. There's a whole other couple levels. When you allow life to throw through you, flow through you, versus trying to literally push your way to the front, because that could be very tiring. But for the sake of this, for this conversation, we're just focusing on moving from victimhood into manifesting. Let's do this. For example, right, I want you to take out a piece of paper and grab a pen and I want you to write down one thing. Just say, I am creating the life of my dreams. I am creating a life that I love. I am creating a life of freedom and abundance. After you've written that down, I want you to just read it. And as you're reading, I want you to consciously hear your words being spoken out of your mouth. And as you speak those words, I want you to visualize what exactly that looks like. And then I want you to feel, as you're visualizing, feel what it feels like in your body. What are the summer things that you're doing as a result of having this freedom of living a life that you love? That's it. Take it in, feel it. How do you feel from just one moment ago? What changed in your life? Nothing right now, Right? We just chose to put our focus somewhere. When you condition yourself to take these kind of steps, you slowly, the resistance is going to come up, right? I always say you don't have to look for the negative beliefs because they're going to make themselves known. When you're trying to strive for the thing you want, they are going to come up screaming their ugly heads off, trying to pull you back. That is a good thing, right? Because we want to become aware of where are the things where we feel sticky? Where are the things where we're being held up? So this way we could, we could, we could see them, we could acknowledge them, we could remove them. Much of the time it's not something that you even consciously chose to take on. Maybe a belief from your family, something you've heard over and over. Maybe something that you literally, if you're watching the news, stop watching the news. There's nothing good on there. It's not news. But maybe it's something you've heard over and over, like, oh, the world is too safe. It's not safe enough to travel. You know, there's planes are blowing up, people are fighting. Oh, immigrants, or, you know, people from Syria are entering Turkey. Ooh, Turkey is not safe. What is it? Right, because all these things that keep coming into your mind, repeating over and over start to form belief systems, and you might not even be conscious of it. So when you see these, these, these triggers, this like, this intense emotion is like, jump up, rejoice, be happy. Because they're showing you, they're giving you the awareness of a belief system that needs to be changed. So when you think about the thing that you want, you create this affirmation. You start to visualize it. You start to slowly brush off the effects, the power that these reoccurring thoughts that aren't even yours have on the thing in which you want. When you feel it enough, your body begins to go there first. And soon you won't need to. You won't have these objections, these inner things that are trying to pull you back. You'll be focused on the goal is where you're headed and that is where you want to go. That is that really in the essence that is manifesting. Right? We've all done it for different parts of our life in different areas at different times. It's just a matter of being conscious of what it is that you're doing. So this way you can do it over and over again. There's different channels. There's victimhood, there's manifesting, there's channeling, and there's allowing life to flow through you, which we're not going to cover the last two, but this is just from victimhood to manifesting. So let's revisit those questions I asked the beginning. Look at the different areas of your life. Look at your health, your relationships, your finances, your work, your career. What role have you been playing? Said differently, what are the stories you've been telling yourself? And if it's not the way you want it, likely you're playing the victim there. And this is just for this moment in time. We're not talking about either, because I'm sure, as there has been in mind, there's areas where you might be a victim now, but in the past you were not. You were literally. Life was thrown through. You were in it. You felt like you were guided by some divine entity and life was just flowing through you. But where do you feel now? What are the thoughts and the beliefs that you had? Write those down. Because once you become conscious of this, when you become aware of where your mind is going, you understand the cause and effect. You understand why you're getting the result that you're experiencing. And I just answered the next one was, what after the thoughts, what are the experiences those thoughts are bringing on? So if you have this, like, this story that nothing ever works out, if you have that story, how do you think that's going to show up in every area of your life? You're not going to bother trying. Well, why bother? Nothing works out. Everything always goes wrong. When you start to become aware, you start to say, aha, I get it, and then think about, well, what is it? What are the things that you do want? Create that affirmation. See, I. And affirmation can be triggering too, right? Because sometimes there might be such a large gap where in order to say, I am feeling, I am living the life that I am meant to live, I am living my passion. I am feeling healthy, happy, vibrant. You may not be there. You may be far from it. That's when you have to soften the language. You say, well, I am becoming, or I am opening myself to the possibility of becoming more healthy, vibrant, flexible, whatever it may be, just by changing a few words, all of a sudden, you start to soften the resistance. Because in the future, if you're becoming it right, your mind's like, all right, well, I'm not there now, but yeah, I am becoming you, right? Because I could drink some water right here and start to take the steps in order to make that my reality. So you soften, and as you're doing that, notice the way you feel. And when you notice the way you feel, I want you to start visualizing what exactly that means. If we're talking about health, what exactly does it mean to feel vibrant, to feel abundant, to feel healthy, to feel flexible, to have a ton of energy, feel it in your body, and then watch how you slowly start to shift in terms of the things that are going on in your mind, the decisions you make throughout your day. It very much is making intention, setting intentions for the day. Once you exactly you've identified what it is you want, making the intention, and allowing it to show up again. The manifesting stage, we're all about kind of moving towards it's the masculine but just being willing for it to show up in your life. I hope you enjoyed this episode. If you did, please give it a thumbs up. Please give it a Share Share this podcast with your friends. My intention of this for you is for you to live your fullest, most happiest life. Because I believe, and this will be a different post, is that every single one of us has a calling. Every single one of us has a reason for being. We're all unique. There's not a single person whose strand of DNA or anything for that matter is the same as anybody else. And with that, our purpose for being here is also unique. The experiences we have, what we, you know, are how we perceive the world is unique. I believe that our job is to bring that experience into reality for others. So that is it. Thank you guys so much for tuning in. I appreciate your time, your attention. I hope this benefited and enriched your life in some way. Again, if you like to comment, ask a question or subscribe, you can visit my website@www.donnyrouse.com again www.donnyrouse.com where you could sign up for coffee with me. If you'd like to set a coaching consultation, you could do that as well. But also stay in contact and find out when I drop the course. The one life where we cover all the stuff from consciously creating your life, but more importantly the energetic stuff where uncovering these limiting beliefs, the things that have been holding you back your entire life because you can't get there without doing that first stuff. Because sometimes it's that stuff. It prevents you from seeing the grand vision because your mindset and your focus is very limited. So that is all I've got for you guys today. I hope you enjoyed this. Remember, you get one life. Live it. God bless and I will see you again soon.