Permission to Succeed

Hi guys. My name is Donny Rouse and you are listening to the podcast One Life, Permission to Succeed. What are you holding back for? I think that a lot of us, in driving towards a specific goal or an experience, we hold back because we may fear of what others may think of us as a result of going after that very thing that we want. And the fear is that maybe we won't be accepted, maybe we will be criticized for wanting something greater and wanting to step out and achieve more. For me, it was feeling that, well, if I do this, then other people may feel bad. And the problem with that thought process was I was taking away other people's free will to realize that, well, you know what? Maybe other people's goals aren't the same as my goals. Maybe by me doing this, I would inspire them to reach for more, to do more, to go after whatever it is that their heart desires, you see, because when you succeed, you give other people permission to do the same. If I may say that differently, when you succeed, you give other people the permission to give themselves permission to succeed. Two incidences of this or two examples. Well, one was when I was in college. When I was in college, I nearly failed out of school my sophomore year. I was getting relapses of Lyme disease. And at the time I was dating a girl, which we saw each other literally every single day. So much so that it left very little time for studying. And when I got my progress report, or I don't think it was a progress report, I think I just got a report saying that my grades were really bad and I was on academic probation. And when I saw that, I went into like emergency mode. I was like, oh my gosh, if I don't get into the school of business, if I don't major in finance, funny, because I do coffee now and I don't do finance. But I was like, if I don't do this, my life is over. This very narrow perspective at that time, but nevertheless, it put me into action. And as a result of having that wake up call, I did a complete 180. And I would say I was never really the studious person or the studious student in high school and especially in college up until that point. What happened as a result of that experience of that switch that got turned on is that I started studying. Day in and day out. My friends joke around, we call it the lost years, because they would be hanging out and they just never saw me. And what I was doing was I was just spending all my time studying because I Had a goal. I knew exactly what I was driving towards. And I ended up getting in the school of business. I end up getting a 3.83. I think I got one B. From that point on, I think I got one B and an A minus. But the rest were all A's. And the reason why I tell the story, because as this was happening on every time, we would get the semester ended and I would get my report card. We'd be sitting in this dining area, my friends, we'd all gather together and we'd all look at each other's report cards. When it came time to look at mine, I was like, just like, mind blown. Because I couldn't even fathom, like, how I was getting straight A's. And my friends after seeing this were like, you gotta be kidding. No freaking way. They didn't expect of me. And I was like, all right, well, thanks. But they saw what I was doing, and all of a sudden it became possible for them where I was one of them. They saw, well, you know what? If I just put the time in and dedicate it to my studying, I, too can get those straight A's. The following semester, when my friend Mike came up to me and he showed me his report card, it was like all A's and like, maybe like a B. He's like, I gotta tell you, man. He's like, you inspired me. I saw what you did. And I said, you know what? If he can do it, then I can do it. And it was great because he, you know, it wasn't something that I intended, but by me reaching to do and become more, he gave himself permission to do the same. Because he saw me, said, well, he's like, me, if he can do it, then I can do it. Another example of this, when I first joined my physique contest, my friend Hubert challenged me in the wall. He didn't really challenge me, but he doubted me in the pool. We were doing some swimming at the gym pool, and he told me he had joined this competition, this physique contest. And I complimented him on his physique because he had really done like a 180. He'd had a coach and everything. But he didn't tell me this. And I complimented him, he says, and I told him how I would get there. You know, give me three months and I would get there. And he scuffed it off and just said, yeah, right, we'll see. And at that time, I was like, you mother effort. I was like, you wait, I am going to do this And I will show you. The next day, I went to sign up for that competition, and I signed up, you know, and the guy. When I went up to sign up for the competition, the person who was hosting it said, why are you doing it so far in advance? You could come back in a couple months and sign up, and you'll get in. I was like, no, no, no, you don't understand. If I don't sign up now, I'm gonna. It's not gonna be like, I'm not gonna take this seriously. I need to lock myself in. So this way, it starts today. I signed up, and it did. And during that time, I did meal prep. You know, sometimes once a week, until I realized that I was eating chicken that had turned. I was like, why does this t. And then I started doing meal prep twice a week, which the food was much fresher. But I didn't miss, you know, the meal prep. I had every meal planned. Six meals a day. Every meal was planned. I think I might have missed one meal in the entire six months, and I would actually go on and continue this food prep for over a year afterward. So I might have missed, like, one meal, and, like, I think maybe a one workout. Actually, no, I didn't even miss a meal. I think I had one cheat meal, and I missed one workout the entire time. Just to show you how dedicated I was. But as I was doing all this, it wasn't immediately recognizable in the gym, because my body. It takes time when you're putting in work. It doesn't just happen overnight. It takes time to see the results. There's like, a Tony Robbins. I remember he would say that there's a lag. Then all of a sudden, it's like, boom. And people are like, wow, where the hell did that come from? You look huge. And they think it's something that happened overnight when you've been putting in months of work. And there was a time. It was like two and a half months in, I was on this diet. And then my trainer tweaked one thing. He just swapped out a carbohydrate. Like, instead of sweet potatoes, I did rice. And all of a sudden, poof. My muscles exploded. Everyone at the gym now was now looking at me like, oh, my God, dude, you look great. What are you doing? I was getting compliments. It felt really good. Although being that big, it was kind of difficult to move at times, but it felt really good to be recognized for the results I'd gotten. And it's funny how nobody and I told, you know, I explained to people, while I'm doing this physique contest, that's what I've been training for. And, you know, some people were like, oh, well, I want to do the same. The. I inspired them. And so I was like, listen, you know, gladly, I'll give you my entire routine. I'll give you my meal plans, everything. I gave it to them. And they're like, oh, my. I'm supposed to. I got to do that. Oh, no, that's too much work. Forget it. They wanted the body, but they weren't willing to put in the work. But there's other people. But there was literally probably like a half dozen to a dozen people who were like, wow, all right, you know what? I'm joining this competition next year. I'm gonna do this competition too. And they went full force, and they were working at hard, and they were showing up every single day because they saw me do it. And as a result of seeing me do it, everything became possible. So what is it in your life, right? What is there. Is there something that you've been wanting to do, but you haven't been reaching forward because you're afraid of what other people may think, or they may criticize you for your success or that you may lose love as a result of striving for something more? That last. That latter part, that was what I was feeling. I felt that if I. If I strive for more, that other people may feel bad, as if they were lacking something, which is complete bullshit. It's complete bullshit. We are all equal. I mean, we may have different abilities, but there's no limit to what any single one of us can do. As long as we're drive, if we're driven towards it, as long as we're focused, as long as we want it bad enough. I truly believe that. What is it for you? What is that goal? And chances are you don't have to overthink it. Just let it flow into you. What is it that you've been holding yourself back from? Maybe because it is a family member you know might criticize you or you're afraid of getting criticism from your significant other. Anything. Write that down. And then next I want you to write down, how would those opinions change? What would happen as a result of you achieving and getting that very thing? Who would you inspire along the way? The people who would watch your progress? In a different podcast I'd actually mentioned. I'll go in another rant real quick. I had mentioned the story of my. Of my coffee company when I left the corporate When I left corporate America, my father was not happy with it. And for seven years I was working, I was getting minimum wage, I was working restaurant jobs. And then I started my company, and even then for the first four years, wasn't making a whole lot of money. But then one day I had forgotten something and my father had to bring it up to me. One of the markets I was doing, and he came in and he saw this line of people raving about my coffee, my bottled espresso called Roman. And then all of a sudden, I saw a change in him. He was happy, and all of a sudden he was cheering me on. Now, he didn't approve of my career choice, but he didn't have a choice. I was going to do what I wanted to do anyways. But he came to believe as a result of seeing. So you got to understand that as well. If that's the foggy part where you can't really see, you just got to go on that trust like that. It's going to happen as long as you have faith and you move towards it. So that is it, guys. If there is one thing I want you to think of, like, again, the assignment, I'll say one more time is, what is that one thing that you've been not really going towards? You've been dipping your toe in the water, taking one step forward, one step back that you want to go towards, but there's a fear inside of you that says, you know what? If I achieve this, I may alienate myself, I may be alone, I may lose love, other people may criticize me for wanting to do more. Whatever it may be, write those names down and, you know, write the names, the people, whatever, the feelings that, you know, you know, what you think they may say. Then lastly, who would you inspire? Who would see the results you were getting and be like, wow, they did that. And as a result of them doing that, I'm going to see them, I'm going to appreciate them, I'm going to tell them that they inspired me to achieve more and write those names down. Because leading by example is the most powerful thing you can do. And while you may not see the results right away, remember there's that lag time, the lag time when all of a sudden it poof. And it looks like it was done overnight, but you had done the prep work and as a result, you have the reward. Guys, I hope you enjoyed this, this episode. So if you did enjoy it, please take a screenshot, share it to your social media, invite your friends to listen to One Life podcast with Donny Rouse. If you'd like to send me a private message, you could do so via Instagram. And lastly, if you enjoy coffee, not just any coffee, if you enjoy delicious coffee, I encourage you to check out my website, www.rousraus coffee c o f-f e-e.com and check out the cold rum. And if you like espresso, if you don't mind it with a little bit of a sweetness, and you like coffee ice cream, this has all that flavor, everything packed into one bottle, 16 shots. And if you use the code One Life, you will get 10% off your order as my gift to you. That is it, guys. I hope you enjoyed. God bless and I will see you next week.