Priceless - Prioritize Your Real Priorities

Most people spend their entire life stressed without ever giving a single thought as to what it is they really want or what's important to them. See, I'm here to cut through all that noise connecting you to yourself and the life that you were meant to live. I used to slave away at a corporate job that I hated, but I broke through the social norms and pursued my passion. As a result, I own my own coffee company, I'm Espresso Sommelier, and I get to travel the world. You too can live a life that you love, but it starts with getting clear about what you want. It starts with a new decision. I'm your host Donnie Rouse, and you are listening to the podcast One Life. This episode was inspired from an interview I recently done with my friend Charlie, whom I had met in Turkey during 2021. Last night I was editing some of the audio content that I'm going to be posting as an episode of the podcast, and in reviewing it and really going through with a very tentative ear and listening to the entire interview, it gave me the inspiration for this podcast. So I hope you enjoy this. This one is about putting priority on the things that are going to matter the most to your life and the things that you are going to remember versus the things you won't. So we'll go right to it now. Priceless. Never prioritize the things that don't matter over the things that do. Look at your everyday life. What are the experiences that you prioritize? Do they matter? You may be prioritizing things and situations over more important things, such as relationships, such as experiences you want to have in life. What I want you to get out of this podcast is to understand that there is a cost to everything. There's a cost to putting the things off in life that matter most to you, and a lot of the time the cost is not doing them at all. But at least that's what it seems like at first glance. But what I'm going to share with you, at least in the story, you realize that there's so much more to gain that you're literally missing out on by not taking the experience, by not taking the time for that interaction, by not putting yourself and making yourself available, opening up to love, to whatever it is the universe wants to give you. So let's get what are your top priorities? 2. Do you care? Right? Look at your priorities. And when I say the priorities, I'm not talking about like you may have life priorities. And you know what my priority is. I want to travel the world. I want to live abroad. And I want to inspire people. But what are you doing today? Like, what are the actions? What are the things that you're prioritizing today with regard to the work you're doing, the way you're living your everyday life? That's the priority I'm talking about. And then when I say, does it matter? Are the things you're working on today? Do they. To contribute to the bigger picture? Is your heart in that? If not, then I ask you to just reconsider where you're putting your focus. Maybe it is just putting something to, you know, giving yourself an experience, something maybe remind you of why it is you're doing, what it is you're doing. I was reviewing the podcast I recorded with my friend Charlie. Charlie, to give you a little bit of the backstory. Charlie had just finished traveling for a year and a half. I met him in Turkey, which was, I believe, was the second country. Started in Greece, went to Turkey. We met. Actually, we met over coffee. Coincidentally. Well, not really coincidentally. I take everyone out for coffee when I meet them abroad. I just. I went up to him, I said, hey, I am, you know, like, I found. I know this really, really good cafe. Do you want to join me? So he and his friend Joe came with me. We had coffee at this awesome, awesome place where I couldn't even tell you the name of the place, but I know the exact location. So we went down there for a coffee. And one of the things that really captivated me about Charlie was this desire, this kind of passion side of him to really. He really immersed himself in the moment. And you could say, like, he had some, like, some crazy energy in the sense that he was willing to get himself into situations that I probably wouldn't. But I really respected that as one of the qualities about him that I really liked. So after Turkey, he went on to visit many other countries, like, I think 30 countries in all. And during the interview, he was telling me about some of the highlights of the moment and the experiences that he had. One in particular? Well, a couple in particular. One is kind of funny. I don't think this is a highlight for him, but he was definitely a highlight. For the interview, we were talking about his time in India. I was explaining to him, I've heard. I haven't been to India yet, but I've heard insane things about India, about the experiences people had. He said, well, it was definitely a lot dirtier than I thought. He went on to say how he. When he was walking down the street and it was pitch black there's no lights anywhere. And as he was walking, there's these trenches where all the sewage goes and those are normally capped with some kind of stone, like a slab. But when he. There was an area that wasn't. And because he couldn't see, he couldn't. He walked right into that trench, ended up falling down. He said when he got up, he was literally waist high and just black. I was cracking up when he told me it. And he said, well, did you get a picture? He's like, that was the furthest thing from my mind. I was freaking out. He's like, I ran to the hostel. I literally jump into the shower with my clothes on and everything. But then there was another story he was telling me. He was telling me about a gentleman he had met at a bar while he was in India. He was at the bar talking to the guy, and this was after he and his friend Joe had left. And the gentleman said, hey, I have a motorbike. Do you want to join me? So not really had no plans. So he said, sure. So he ended up going on a two week motor riot with this gentleman that he had just met. Was it risky? Yes, it was. But he, I guess there had to be this feeling deep down inside from that, you know, everything was going to be okay. Right. If we're honest with ourselves, if we really do a gut check, we can pretty much sense danger in someone or not. Right. But you really have to be open to it. I believe that 100%. So he goes on this trip with this guy and ends up having one of the most memorable experiences of his life. As he's recapping all this stuff, I asked him, I was well, what was the total expense of the trip? He spent a year and a half traveling and he was thinking about it, he said, well, probably spent about 25, I think 25 to 30,000 pounds. He's like, wow. He's like, well, that was a lot. And my friend Charlie, he really likes to engage in alcohol. So a lot of the expense was alcohol. So if you take away half that, he spent a year and a half going on maybe $15,000. And when I told him, I said, well, that's not much at all. He's like, well, you don't think so? I said, no. I actually have another friend, my friend Joe I had met from France. He had spent a year traveling and his budget was $30,000. He literally went around the world. And when you think about it, especially when you're in the European countries, it is more expensive to Travel in Europe and other destinations, certain destinations than it is in places such as Southeast Asia or South America. So when I put things in perspective, he's all right, well, I guess I didn't spend that much. And I did go to some expense more expensive countries where they literally ate my budget up fairly quick. But then I asked them, I was like, all right, well, you had this experience. You spent 25, $30,000, which is the yearly income for a lot of people. What was the experience worth? He didn't take it. Didn't take much time for him to answer. Well, it was priceless. I can't put a dollar value on that, because the experiences. I mean, I'll have these experiences, these memories for the rest of my life that I get to share with my kids and friends. And I asked him, well, how much if you had to do the experience over? I'm like, what would you pay to have the same experience? He's like, well. He's like, well, if I had twice the amount, I would definitely spend twice the amount. And I'm willing to bet that he'd probably spend even more than that. I had a similar experience. I was in Italy back in 2006. This was my first big trip, solo trip. I went to Rome for three months. It was at a time where I had left my job and I had broken up with my girlfriend of six years. So I went there. I was pretty much exposed. I didn't have anything. You know, I went there. I remember the first, like, three weeks, the only thing I wanted was a friend. I was in a classroom with 27 girls, which was, you know, every man straight man's dream. But all I wanted was a friend. And I'm meeting one of my best friends, my friend Lucas, and we ended up having a blast. But during that time, I was taking some linguistics courses as well. It was. I think my linguistics courses were something along the lines of like $5,000. And the trip, I couldn't remember how much I spent. I thought it was between 10 and 20,000, but it was definitely around probably $10,000 for three months, which was fairly high, especially considering the time frame we're talking about in 2006. But when I look back at that experience, I mean, could I have done it differently? Of course I could have done it differently. Right? The school, when I was paying for my apartment, the school doubled my rent because they were, you know, they were supplying the link to the apartment. So they doubled what I should have paid, and they took half of it, which is understandable. They're providing a service. And then, you know, the second month I was there, I ended up rooming with my friend Lucas and this other gentleman we had met, who was a club promoter at the art cafe. And we end up splitting. Well, he charged us the entire rent, but we end up. Lucas and I end up splitting it. It was like €250. So like, $500 total for the month, which is nothing. And we. Long story short, when I look back at what I had spent on that trip, like, $10,000 over three months. Yeah, it was a lot. It was a good amount of money. When I look back, I'm like, well, you know what? I could have done it differently. I could have done it a lot cheaper. But if you had asked me, like, well, what was that experience worth? I would have answered the same thing as my friend Joe. It was priceless. Priceless. I would have spent 10 times that amount easily. I would have spent 10 times that amount. Because the experience that I got from that, the value I got from the memories I got from that, that far exceeded anything that I could ever. In any amount that I would ever consider, like, think of paying. I would pay $100,000 easily for what that did, because it did so much for my life. As a result of that trip, I literally started traveling the world. I mean, I'd traveled most of Europe earlier, like, in 2004. But after that trip, that's what opened my eyes to say, you know what? There's a different way of living. I don't have to live in this box that I was. That everyone else is living that. We were told that this is how life has to be. I don't have to live that way. And then the memories I had with my good friend Lucas, I mean, we laugh about them now because they were. We were. You know, we were really crazy. And it just. We were. He was one of those friends where you could lock us in a room and we would figure out how to entertain ourselves, and we would just laugh. So I wouldn't trade that for anything. There's no bullshit when I say that I would pay 10 times the amount. I would have no problem paying $100,000 for that experience. Not a single doubt in my mind. Now am I saying, go spend $100,000 in three months. Well, you could. If you have it, go. More the merrier. Go do it. You'll have an awesome time. But what I'm trying to say is, don't prioritize the things that don't matter for the things that do. You Pay either way. I was talking with my friend Ryan completely kind of a different tangent, but the same lesson we were talking about. When you're learning something, a new skill, there's always a price to pay. And I gave him the example of coffee roasting. So I'm always trying to better my craft, and when I'm doing that, I'm talking to different consultants. I'm test roasting. So sometimes I may do a test roast of a coffee. And because I'm not going to use shit coffee, I'm using, like, really, really high quality coffee. And if it doesn't turn out right, well, I have to eat all that coffee. So it's, you know, it could be a few hundred dollars for $400 on a roast that, oh, well. But when I go into it with the mind frame, all right, well, what is, what is my priority? What am I trying to do here? When I realized, well, no, if my objectives are very clear and my outcome is understood to understand a certain aspect of the rose, how to get the most sweetness out of the coffee, whatever it is, then I look at it as a learning experience and there is no regret as to what I spent doing that experience. So what is it that you really want? What is it you want to experience it in life? What are the things that you should be prioritizing that are going to supersede anything you could ever imagine that are going to supersede your work? Finishing up this conversation, when I was talking to my friend Joe, he said, you know what? I don't know if I could ever go back. I can't go back to working in office and being locked up in an office. He's like, it just won't work for me. I looked at the time and money and realized that time was a hundred times more valuable than. Than any money they can give me. Yeah, I need the money. But it wasn't. My time was the most valuable thing that I had. It was one of the realizations. He said when he was going around, you realized there was a lot of people who didn't have much, but they had time. This is a reoccurring theme. If you listen to some of my older podcasts, you'll remember me talking about this, about the Cambodian father who was playing with his son in the field and another person who was onlooking, who was. Comes from the Western world, very well off, but had no time to spend with his child. Your priorities, like, what is it that. What is priority to you? So let's go back to the beginning of the question, so where are you spending your time? Write down on your daily list of things to do, your daily tasks that you perform. How much of it is a priority? Not so much for your work, but for your life? And then next, what are your priorities? What do you want? What do you want to experience? Right. I think that so many people don't put the focus and the time and the attention that is necessary to live a happy, passionate and fulfilling life. Like, what is it that you want to experience? Like, just put your mind in that experience for a moment and, and just feel it. Right? You don't need to do much more than that. Once you're actually in it, you're like, oh my God. Yeah, this feels pretty good. You know, and you get enveloped in the experience and all of a sudden now you're on a different trajectory. Your values are aligned with what you feel inside your heart. And then, last question, what is it? What change do you need to make? How can you incorporate more of these priorities, your real priorities, into your day, into your week, into your month? Right? Maybe a day might be asking a lot because you. But at least put it into your week and it doesn't have to be like travel is a big one for me. It's one of the things I know that I've never regretted and every single person I've ever spoken to has never regretted an experience that they've had. But it doesn't have to be that. Maybe it's playing with your child, maybe it's devoting time to something that lights you up. Cooking, knitting, gardening. I don't know. Put your time to the things that matter. And if your day is already crammed, block some time. It doesn't have to be that much time. It doesn't have to be that much time, but you owe it to yourself. You don't want to get to the end of this life to realize, well, man, I should have done it differently. I should have put my time, energy, focus here because this is what would have made me happy. This what would have given me the emotions I wanted to feel in life. But instead, you know, I spent it trying to increase the quarterly earnings of the company and, you know, spending on trying whatever it may be. Right? You get what I'm trying to say. Do what matters to you. That is all I've got for you guys today. Hope you enjoyed this post. If you did, please give it a thumbs up. Subscribe, Share it with a friend who may not have their priorities straight. Right. Say, listen this. Get your priorities in order but literally, it's about life. It's about living the most passionate expression of your life. I don't know what that is. For you, only you know what that is. I hope you enjoyed this podcast. Thank you so, so much for tuning in. If you'd like to ask a question, comment or subscribe, you could visit my website@www.donnierouse.com. again, www.d o n n y r a u s dot com. That is all I've got for you guys today. Thank you so much for tuning in. God bless. And remember, you only get one life. Live it.