Refine With Experience

Hi, my name is Donnie Rouse, and you are listening to the podcast One Life Refining with Experience. How do you know what you want in life? I feel that so many people, they think that they should intrinsically know exactly what it is that they want. And I know, speaking from experience, I would sometimes get frustrated when I didn't know what I want, when I didn't have that clarity. But what if experience was what gave you that clarity? What if having the contrast of life is what gave you that clarity? So those things that you experienced where they might feel uncomfortable or you don't really like it, and there's a lot of resistance from it, what if those were the things that were helping you figure out what you like? So I've been in Miami, Florida, and now traveling around Florida for the last month and a half. And I was here two months earlier in Miami. So while I was there, I was looking for an apartment, and I was going to the different areas of Miami. I started in south beach, went up to north beach, went to Coconut Grove, Coral Gables, Brickell, downtown, and in that travel, in traveling around Miami, in Miami beach, it was through that experience that I realized, you know what? Brickell feels the most right for me. I felt like this was the spot. I liked the energy there. I left, and then I came back about a month later. In that month, I started traveling around again and looking for more apartments. But then I had a different mindset. I was like, well, you know what? Maybe I don't really like this. When I put my priorities on a sheet of paper, I saw that I actually really liked being near the water because one of my favorite rituals of all is jogging in the morning, watching the sun come up, and being near the ocean. I felt like the whole reason I came down to Florida in the first place was to experience that, to now take that out of the equation. It was kind of like, all right, well, what am I doing here? I went around. I was looking around at Brickell, and the second time around, I noticed that, again, it didn't feel the same way it did the first time I was here. Actually, all of Miami beach didn't feel the same the first time I was there. And now that can be because of the transient crowds that come in and out. I mean, the vibe of south beach changes literally daily. So I thought to myself, well, what do I want to be around? What is the environment I want to be in? And every day there is a party, and it's kind of sometimes hard to escape it if you're otherwise, you have to Stay on the west side and not go over to the east side. So it made me think again, what was it that I want? I spent a couple nights in downtown Little Havana before starting to head up to. I'm in Palm beach currently, as I'm recording this. And in Palm Beach, I'm going around here. I'm staying at a friend's house and I'm, you know, kind of. I did my morning run and it's much more quieter here. And at first there was some resistance. Well, I'm like, well, well, this doesn't feel right for me. But it's actually exactly what I need right now. One, because south beach was just so overwhelming at times that I just wanted a place for some serenity. And now that I'm here, I'm able to get more clarity as what is it that I like? First of all, everywhere in Florida that I've been so far, you need a car. And I came down here without a car. So moving around has been a little challenging. But what does that tell me about life? What does that tell me about what I want? It tells me that I like a place that's walking, a walking city. What else does it tell me? Well, here there's all condos and houses pretty much line the street. So if I want to walk somewhere, the closest thing is the Publix down the street. And there's some restaurants and ice cream shop there. But one of the things I love is being able to step out my door, go to my favorite cafe, maybe grab a bite to eat, and having a walking community, specifically coffee. If you know me, you know I love coffee. So I love being able to walk out my door and have this plethora of coffee shops to choose from. That gave me more clarity as to what is it that I'm looking for in a place that I would want to live. Oh, I want a place where I don't really need a car. I want a place where it has a lot of cafes and the outdoors a little bit more active. So this way I can meet more people. There you go. It's clarity through the experience. But had I not made all these trips, if I had not made all of these stops, would I have that same clarity? And it's a matter of feeling. As I mentioned, when I was in Brickell, we had my friend. I was looking at the apartments with my friend Parag. While we were going around at all different places, we were just kind of. We didn't tell each other, but we were actually. We could tell that we were Feeling with our body, the energy of the space and whether or not it was right for us, we feel it. You know, we just had this, like, you could tell by looking at us, there was this unease every single spot we went to. And then when we came back, it was only after coming back to Brickell that we said, okay, this was it. And this is, you know, and this is a lesson as well. Does that mean Brickle was right? Maybe, maybe not. Maybe just by contrast, it was better than the rest. The feeling that we had was better than the rest. But was it the right one? I believe if it were, I would probably be there right now. So why do I tell you this? I tell you this because I want you to go out to experience more of the world, because that is how you're going to get more specific as to what you want and what do you want to attract into your life if you're living in a vacuum, if you're literally haven't left your house, your room, your apartment in the last year, as probably so many people have with this thing that's going on with COVID step out, at least, at the very least, go for a walk, right? It's not going to kill you. Go for a walk outside, unless it's really, really cold, but just get out of that space. Give your mind time to breathe, to say, okay, well, what is it that I want? Am I happy here? Do I want to change it? Okay, if I do want to change it, what do I think I like? You don't have to know specifically what do I think I like? And then when all this stuff clears up, you can go experience it. And if it is something you like, then make the decision to go there. So, again, what is it that you're. What is it you're going after? Is a job change? Are you having. Are you kind of in the middle on what job you want to take? Are you in the middle of where you want to move? Maybe you want to go to West Coast, East coast, south, you don't know, Maybe you want to try Europe. What is the first step you can do to get the experience to know whether or not it's right? And it's not going to be from talking to somebody. Chances are you're going to have to book that trip to experience it yourself. I mean, you could read and that could kind of pre qualify, but chances are you're going to have to go there yourself, and you're going to have to experience it, because I'll tell you from my own experiences, I've traveled around the world and people have told me that they hated some of the cities that I loved. But if I had listened to their recommendations, if I listened to their opinions of it, I probably would never have taken the trip in the first place. So that is all I've got for you guys today. I hope you enjoyed this podcast. If you did, please give me a share. Give it a thumbs up. Tell your friends and family because we're trying to boost the followers here to get it out. Because the message is really important. The message is for you to get out there, follow your heart, live your one life and not waste time with all the distractions stuck in the place that you do not want to be. So if you want to send me a message, you can do so via Instagram onnydon Y R A U S and if you love great coffee then you should try rousecoffee R a u s coffee.com it's my coffee company and the philosophy around is one just picking the best beans to my ability. I'm a Q grader and espresso sommelier so two two feathers in my cap. But more than anything it's about living that taking that moment in your day for yourself. That moment to say, well what is it that I want? The moment to enjoy. The moment to stop all the distractions and give yourself that time because you owe it to yourself and your life is worth it. That is all I've got for you guys. God bless and I will see you again soon.