Second Guessing - Out of Confusion

Most people spend their entire life stressed without ever giving a single thought as to what it is they really want or what's important to them. See, I'm here to cut through all that noise, connecting you to yourself and the life that you were meant to live. I used to slave away at a corporate job that I hated, but I broke through the social norms and pursued my passion. As a result, I own my own coffee company, I'm espresso sommelier, and I get to travel the world. You too can live a life that you love, but it starts with getting clear about what you want. It starts with a new decision. I'm your host, Donnie Rouse, and you are listening to the podcast One Life Second Guessing. How often do you say that you do not know the answer for something or you do not know what you want when you know damn well that you know exactly what you want? If this sounds at all familiar, or if you say, well, no, I really don't know what I want, I am going to challenge you on that because deep inside you, there is this knowing, there is this intuitive being yourself that you. You know exactly what you want. But sometimes you'll trick yourself into believing that you don't. And the real reason you're doing it is fear, confusion. Will you know if you have something and you're confused, it's fear that's really holding you back. And I'm going to go into a story, I'm going to share with you just sometimes how we can second guess ourselves, but also give you a process to understand what it is that you're being conflicted about and what is your true path forward. So first, let's get clear. So what is the confusion? What are you kind of on the fence about? What is it that you're confused about? Secondly, who is chiming in? Like, what is it that's really making you confused sometimes? This could be a family influence or maybe not wanting to upset somebody or. Or whatever it may be, get to the heart of it. What is the real feelings behind it? And then lastly, what does your intuition tell you? What is your intention? I was hanging out with my cousin this past weekend and she's getting ready to get married. And one of the things we were speaking about were her wedding dress. She was visiting different places and looking at different wedding dresses and it was time for her to choose which dress she was going to use. When I asked her about the dresses, she's like, well, you know, I still have one more place. But, you know, I liked, I liked the one dress over Here, But I don't know if that's the right one. And so I said, well, all right, let's. Let's settle this, right? Let's. Which dress? If you had to feel like. Which dress felt right, she's like, well, I love the one that I saw, Anthropologies. Like, it looked great. It just felt like it was like something perfect for where I'm getting married in Italy. I loved it. And, like, as I'm talking to her, I heard the language and I saw it in her body as she described it. She was using, like, I mean, well, first of all, she used the word love. Like, you know, when you're talking about a dress and you love a dress, that is the right dress. When I asked, all right, well, then what's the problem? She's like, well, you know, I have. My mother thinks this one and my sisters think this one. So she had all these people who are chiming in, telling her, well, no, you shouldn't get that one. You should go with this one. And as a result of that, it was making her second guess. Her intuition was making her second guess what she really wanted. So I went, I continued to press on. I said, all right, well, you know, I said, well, all right. If there was no outside influence, which one would be your dress? She'll go, it would be this dress for sure. But what if I. What if I. What if I. I don't know what this place has. Because she. We were actually walking towards another wedding shop. Well, I don't know what. Maybe there's something in there that I like better. I was like, stop. I was like, you're driving. You're going to drive yourself crazy. Your intuition, your body already knows. You already know which one you want, so why are you second guessing yourself? And it was to please the other people. It was to appease other people. How often do you do that where you know what your gut is telling you to do, but you don't make that decision. You don't make that choice because you're afraid of upsetting people. This is very common when people are, you know, breaking a cultural norm. I remember hearing a story about a guy who wanted to marry a girl who was. Who was not Indian. He was Indian, but his girlfriend was not Indian. And the mother would not have it. She's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You were not going to marry this woman. She's not Indian. And I don't know. I'm sure religion probably had something to do with it, but the different future set for this guy. But he didn't want anything with it, right? He wanted to live the life the way he wanted it. And how often is that, right? Your parents, they may be trying to live through you so that maybe you don't make the mistakes that they do or what they think are the mistakes, right? Because nobody knows what's right for your life except for you. So he was faced with a choice. He could either go and follow the orders of his mother, or he could follow his heart and marry the girl who is the love of his life. The choice, I mean, while that is a very, very dramatic experience, I mean, it could be something small like a wedding dress. And the point I'm trying to make here is that there's a part of you that knows exactly what you want. The only thing you have to do is tune into it. I'll give you one more example. So in creating the course that I'm doing, the. The one. The one life course, there have been a lot of internal conflicts, right? Because I'm like, I'm thinking, oh, but I've been doing coffee for so long, right? If I do this, you know, this. How am I going to do this course and balance all the things? And I was creating a lot of noise in my mind, but then I said, well, what is my intention? Right? Because. Right, when you state your intention, it literally cuts out all the other noise. And you're like, all right, well, what's the intention? Well, the intention was to create something that would give me the freedom, would give me something where I could have impacted. And I say, all right, well, if that's the case, then I know exactly what steps I have to take. I know exactly what actions I have to take. I know how I have to move forward. It eliminated all the confusion. Because now instead of saying, oh, I got to focus on this. What if I do this? And the decisions about how I'm going to produce cold roaming. No, I know what my intention is. The only thing I have to do is move forward towards that intention now. So what is it for you? What are you confused about if I ask you, like, oh, what are you confused? Maybe it's two options. You're like, oh, well, this is good. That is good. Maybe it's a job. Or maybe you're like, oh, my gosh, you know, there's. I have two job opportunities like this one I'm not really excited about, but it has this, that, and the other thing. And then there's this one which I'm not really excited about that one either, but it has A, B and C. Which one should I take? Well, again, what is your intention? If you're not feeling passionate and jazzed about them, then I would say don't take either. How many people do you know who end up taking something because they wanted that safety or just to pay a bill, which I'm not downplaying, right wherever you are, totally the context for your life is going to be very different than the context here. But I hope that by listening to this, I'll just challenge some of your thinking and maybe shift. So this way, at the very least, you can align yourself with what it is you really want. Or if you have to take that job, you do it with the intention and taking action to make your escape as well and to do something that's going to light you up. But how many people do you know where they take something because they're like, I need something right now just to pay the bills. And now all of a sudden, a decade later, they're still there, miserable. What is your intention? Your intention is going to give you clarity, to slice right through all that noise and to make the decision that's right for you. Once you know that, what is the next step? What are you being called to do? And once you know that, the only thing left is to go do it. So I. It was a very quick one. But I hope you realize that what exactly confusion is confusion. There is meant to give you, like this little. It's like a checkpoint. It's not an enemy, right? It's there for you to say, okay, let me stop. Let me re. Evaluate the what. What decisions are here in front of me and what is going to align me with the life that I want to create. So next time you feel confused, give yourself a high five and a hug because you are about to have a breakthrough. And your confusion is there not to distract you, not to throw you off course, but to guide you. If you enjoyed this podcast, please hit that subscribe button. If you'd like to ask a question or comment, you could do so by visiting my website at www.donnyrouse.com again. Www.donniew-o n n y r a u s.com remember, guys, you only get one life. Live it. God bless and I will see you again soon.