Success Integration - Acknowledge Your Wins and See Yourself With New Eyes

Most people spend their entire life stressed without ever giving a single thought as to what it is they really want or what's important to them. See, I'm here to cut through all that noise, connecting you to yourself and the life that you were meant to live. I used to slave away at a corporate job that I hated, but I broke through the social norms and pursued my passion. As a result, I own my own coffee company. I'm espresso sommelier, and I get to travel the world. You, too can live a life that you love, but it starts with getting clear about what you want. It starts with a new decision. I'm your host, Donnie Rouse, and you are listening to the podcast One Life Success Integration. It isn't success that breeds confidence, but the acknowledgement of one's success that leads to greater confidence and even greater success. Think about tilling a field, right? Imagine that you have this giant field, and you have to get the most abundant crop possible. And so in order to do that, what you do is you would till the field. You would make it so that the conditions for that field to flourish were there. Now imagine that you don't do anything. You literally just had this seed with the seed, which represents your gifts, all the things that are special about you. Now imagine, instead of tilling that field, what you're doing is you're taking all these seed and you're literally just throwing it on top of the surface. What happens when you do that? You may say, well, you know, weeds might literally stifle the growth of the plant. You may also say, well, because there's nothing covering it, right? The sun is literally going to scorch the seed. It's kind of like that Bible verse. And the parallels I want you to draw from this is that those seeds are the gifts. The seeds are the very thing that is special about you. Your gifts to the world, how you show up like the things that make you you. And that when you don't acknowledge those. Those gifts, what you're doing is you're letting it. Kind of like the weeds will come in, and all of a sudden, now the crop is not as abundant. If anything, the weeds start to take over, and all of a sudden, now you're left with nothing. This story is about acknowledging one's successes for greater confidence, because confidence is that cornerstone in everything you want to do. Because the more success you. Not just the more successes you have, the more successes you integrate, the more confidence you'll have and the bigger actions you will take leading to more success. So let's get let's just ask you, like, what is your if I didn't say, how confident do you feel on a daily basis? And when I'm generalizing this level of confidence to say, how confident do you feel in, like, everything from your work to your life, your relationships, on a scale from 1 to 10? And then let me ask you another question. Where have you had success in your life? And this could be a difficult question to answer sometimes, because sometimes when you're looking to answer these questions, you're not giving yourself all the credit that you know. Well, not that you may not know, but that you do deserve. So let me ask you a different question. Where would others say that you are successful? If they were looking at you, they say, wow, you are successful in this. What would they say? Then lastly, I just want you to imagine yourself in that person's shoes where they're looking at you and the success that they see. I just want you to feel it. What does it feel like to really own that thing, to own what you're great at? The inspiration for this podcast here came from this last week. I always say that it's funny because whenever I get these lessons in life, they're all these little subtle lessons that are sewn throughout, like a week. And I'll get these consecutive lessons that teach me something. This week was on success and acknowledging the gifts within me. So my hopes and my intention behind sharing this is that by sharing my story, you can see yourself in my story and you could start acknowledging the successes in you. So let's talk about success, right? In the past, I would say that I struggled with confidence. And even now, it takes a lot of conscious effort to look at the things that are special about me. But let me go to the beginning. I was going for a walk. I was walking down the street with my father, and we had met one of our neighbors and we were talking, casual conversation. Probably been, I don't even know how long since my father had spoken to this neighbor. So they were talking about, you know, the kids. We were talking about soccer. And that the topic of my brothers who were playing soccer, they were very, very. All my, my whole family was a soccer family. And my growing up, my father spent a lot of time with, like, my two brothers, the one above and below me, my brother Philip and my brother John. Just by the way, I kind of fell in that ranking. Like, I kind of got skipped over in which no regrets here, because it helped me develop my life in a very different way. So my father was traveling to different States with my brother for soccer. And then by the time he was done, he couldn't do two of us at the same time. My mother didn't like driving on the highway, so it just wasn't a possibility for me to have that same nurturing of that sport, the skills in that sport. By the time my older brother Philip was finished with soccer, it was my younger brother John's turn. And so as he was talking to our neighbor, I. He was talking about my soccer skills. He said, you know what, Donnie? I didn't spend much time with Donnie doing soccer. And it was actually I. It was like my senior paper, I did, like, a resentment piece on feeling like I was, like, forgotten. So it's just kind of funny. But we were looking at, you know, he was saying, I never spent the time with Donnie, but he ended up doing really, really well. And I was thinking about how I, like, when I was playing soccer, how my skills developed with very little time invested in me. And it was at that time I gave myself a pat on the back. But I also. I noticed a pattern. There was a pattern in my life where I always felt like I wasn't enough. Like, I was less than other people when I was on the socce field. Like, subservient or not subservient. I don't even know what the word is. It was like. I mean, we'll just say less than, right? That's. It's a very vague and general term, but we'll use that. We'll just go with it. Because I think, sure, everyone experiences that and knows what that feels like. And I was looking at this, I was like, oh, my God. It's so funny. Like, this same feeling that has kind of trickled throughout my life. I had it back then when I was playing soccer. But if I was honest with myself, the skills I had with soccer, with the little bit of time that I had invested in me to develop those skills, I was actually really good. You know, I had. I mean, there. I used to have a whistle to my kick. I used to kick the soccer ball. And you'd hear go. Just to tell you how much speed was on the soccer ball in terms of some of those technical skills. Like, I didn't have it because I didn't put the practice in. And, you know, not to put it all on my father. And I'm grateful that my life developed the way it was. But I didn't have the. You know, I didn't go in all these different leagues, so I didn't have the opportunities to develop these skills further. And how does that relate to current day? I looked at the way I wasn't acknowledging the successes in my career, in my body, in all of the categories of my life. And what I want you to come away with is that when you don't integrate your successes, when you don't acknowledge yourself for the things that make you special and for the successes you have, it leads to inaction, it leads to lower confidence. But when you acknowledge those things, all of a sudden, now it's like catapulting yourself up, lifting yourself up. So now all of a sudden there's more confidence. You're willing to take bigger steps and bigger risks and go for whatever it is that you are longing to go for. So reflecting on my life, I was thinking about the coffee, you know, my successes in coffee. And I'm like, well, man, like the. The level of success I've had, you know, to be able to taste things. And I think part of this reflection, I was looking at my path, right? Because you can't connect the dots looking forward. You can only connect them looking backwards. I was looking at my path. And when I had originally gotten a coffee, I had wanted to start, I wanted to have a cafe. But then I had gotten, like, scared from it because I had spoken to a cafe owner and she was just like, oh, my God, you do not want to do this. And pretty much like, freaked me out. And I was like, all right, I don't want to do this. The cafe. To have a desire to have a cafe still is within me. I'm a little bit smarter about where and when I will do that. But it was because of that, like, not going straight into a cafe that my skills really developed and flourished. But I wasn't giving myself the credit for it. So now fast forward, I was reflecting on all of the. All of the successes I've had and how I wasn't giving myself the credit and I was telling myself this shitty story and how, like, I wasn't good enough. People always, you know, these people knew more than me. Always putting myself lower than others. I had a couple conversations, a conversation with my friend Kumara and my friend Natalie. And they were sharing with me. They're like, you know what? My friend Natalie, she went to a concert. She lives a little bit further up in Connecticut, and she went all the way down to Brooklyn to see one of her favorite concerts. And she said she was dreading it. She's like, I was looking at it. I was like, oh, my God, you know what? Screw it. We have tickets. It's a band I love and that I have. I would love to see, but it's just so far. And she was going through this whole narrative of how she wasn't going to go to the concert. Then she asked herself a question. She's like, something like, what would Donnie do? Which I love the question. It's like, what would Jesus do? You ever hear the wwjd, wwdd? What would Donnie do? And she's like, well, Donnie would rally. Donnie would go. Donnie would want to live his life and be. He would be excited about it. So she. They'd made the drive to Brooklyn. Driving back, I think they ended up getting like, two, maybe three hours of sleep before doing the market the following day. But they said they were so happy that they went and they did not regret the decision. But it actually juiced them up. And then I was talking with my friend Kumar, and she kind of echoed the same exact thing. And she was saying, you know, you just have. I love your energy and your passion for life. And hearing her say these words, she actually texted me the words. They were in a text. So it's great, because now I have. I can look back on them and give myself that inspiration. Was acknowledging where and how I've come and the effect that I've had on the people that are closest to me, some of my friends. So looking at this, I was like, man, you know, all this time, I wasn't acknowledging the wins. I wasn't taking. Giving myself credit for the successes that I've had. And what that was doing was making me feel less confident, was making me feel like I wasn't enough. But if you're honest with yourself, isn't there something that you are extremely good at that may make other people like other people may struggle with? And if you say no to that, then you're not being honest to yourself. Because everybody has something. Everybody is good at something. Or something comes easy to one person that doesn't come to the next person. And I want you to just kind of to understand what exactly these things are. Because it's only when you start to understand, like, not understand, see your successes and then integrate them, that you're able to move forward and you're able to have the confidence and you're able to just feel good about yourself. Now, I wasn't planning on going into this, but how do you. How do you integrate? Right? So one of the ways I do, and it's kind of like a gratitude practice that I do. You know, the gratitude practice you state what it is you're grateful for and you, then you state why you are grateful for it. So when I think of success, integration, I see whatever it is that I am had success in or one of the things I had taken. It doesn't have to be a giant success. It could literally just be a small step in that small step where you had some courageous action, you took maybe a small step that advanced you a little bit further. Now it's time to integrate that. So I would look at that, whatever that one step was, and then I would just imagine, I would put it in my heart and imagine whatever it was almost coming into my body and literally enveloping me in some kind of light. You can do whatever visualization you want, whatever is going to feel good for you, but that is what I do. And then I, and then I just say thank you for it, and I allow the success to come in. And that's the integration. The other thing is when you acknowledge it, just standing in it and seeing it and taking on that personification of being successful, being confident. There's a certain physiology that is associated with every single state that you're in, right? If you're in a shitty state, if you're depressed, you're, you know, watching me, you're slouched over, you're not really breathing, but if you're happy, there's, there's another movement, right? You're, you're, you're more animated, your body's moving, you know, your body's moving all over. Your shoulders are back, you're looking up. What are the feelings of success? What is it in your physiology? Think of something you've been successful at and just, even if it's not even you, that's. If you can't find anything just because you're in that space where you're like, oh, I haven't been, you know, you, you haven't, you feel like you haven't been successful, and I guarantee I know you want, you have been. You're just not giving yourself the credit. But if you are in that state where you're having trouble just identifying those experiences, imagine yourself being someone, you know, someone else, or just imagining what it would feel like to feel confident, to feel successful, get it in your body, feel it. How would you breathe? How would your, what would your physiology look like? How would your shoulder, Would your shoulder be forward, back? Would you be standing tall, slouched? And with this physiology, with this state, do nothing for a couple minutes, but just feel what it feels like and then all of a sudden, you'll start to see a shift. You'll start to see that, you start to feel different. And maybe now, all of a sudden, as a result of doing this for a couple minutes, you start to see some of your successes. You start to see how you've improved over the years. I was talking with my friend Tina this past week. We were talking about the years that we've been putting into our beverage businesses. One of our friends is going to a co packer, and she's commercializing after being in business for a few years. And I was talking with my friend, my friend Rolanda, and she was like, you know what? I was like, well, I could keep going the way I'm going, or I could just kind of take that jump, that leap of faith. And I applauded her for it because I think it's freaking awesome because it's a comfort zone. And you can keep going. You can keep doing the same thing over and over without ever making progress. But to take that leap, it's scary. And she acknowledges, well, yeah, it's pretty scary. I was like, yeah, but you are freaking doing it. You are awesome and you're inspiring me. And I was talking to my friend Tina, and it's so easy to compare yourself to other people because you're looking at, you know, everyone's journey is different. And we were talking, she said, you know what the thing that social media is good for? She goes, I was looking back on the years and just the progression that's happened. She's like, you know, I could beat myself up and compare. But then, like, you know, Facebook or whatever media platform she was on, I'm not really sure would give her, you know, like, memories and like, oh, this was a year ago. And she's like, oh, my God. Wow. Wow. That was this year. That was five years ago. I really did make some, Some. Some progress. So what it was really doing was it was allowing her to see and integrate the process. The. The pros can't give me speak. The progress that she's made over the years where being so close to it. Well, not even being so close to it, she's just never integrated that into her body. When you don't integrate success in your body, you're always reaching for the new thing. You never feel like you've actually attained anything or achieved anything. You feel like you're never enough. When you start to just take in the small wins and even something as small as taking a new action to. If you are a food vendor, maybe it's like signing up for another farmer's market and getting into a new place and growing your revenue, even if it's by 1%. Or maybe it is traveling to a new country that you had never been to that scared you. Or. Or going to a social gathering, right? Because I know I. I consider myself very extroverted, but sometimes I'm afraid going to. I feel nervous going to social gatherings. I'm like, oh, well, what if I don't? What if people judge me? What if I don't know? What if I don't meet anybody? Or whatever the bullshit stories you tell yourself in your head, but you do it anyways. So what I want you to do, just from listening to this, I want you to just seek out the successes you've had in your life. And it doesn't have to be something so big, like taking this grand step with your business or booking. I'll throw the booking, solo trip route, because that's what I intend for you. But it could be something small as just taking some small action that is just outside your comfort zone and acknowledging it and then, you know, allowing yourself to take the next thing. But your confidence starts with acknowledging and integrating your successes. Not just doing a success, not feeling anything, and then going for the next thing. Because you're always going to feel like you're never enough and you are enough. And the only way you're ever going to feel enough is by giving yourself that pleasure, that emotion, that gratification of knowing that you are enough and that you've attained so much. I mean, you don't have to achieve anything. You were born worthy, right? The fact that you were alive, the fact that you've woken up, gotten out of bed makes you worthy, right? It's funny, you don't think about that. I was in another conversation yesterday. I was talking with a friend. We're like, you know, we had heard that there was a. Some One of the vendors had been diagnosed with cancer and was no longer at the. At the market. And hearing this, I'm like, you know what? It's funny. You hear these things and you forget that it is a blessing to be alive. Every single day is a blessing. If you're alive, it is a blessing if you wake up, you've already started your day successful. But the problem is that you get so caught up in the routine and the pattern of waking up and just feeling like shit in feeling like you're already 10 steps behind, that you fail to see the blessings that are right in front of you. And the blessing is Just that you're alive, right? So if you can't find any successes to integrate the fact that you are alive, that you get to spend another day here on this earth where there are hundreds of thousands of people who would give anything to have that, who don't have it anymore. And with that, you can say that you are here for something special. You are here to have a. You are here with a purpose. So whatever that is for you, only you know that. But hopefully this will just kind of get you thinking a little bit differently because again, going back to the success thing, you have to integrate those successes in order for you to align yourself with the true path, because you need to have confidence in whatever it is you're going for. Otherwise, you'll never take the steps needed in order to have that reach and the impact that you want to have. So I hope you enjoyed this podcast. I'll go over those questions again just to kind of tickle you to look for those success in your life. Like, what is your level of confidence? We can even say, well, why did you rate from 1 to 10? What is your level of confidence? And then why did you give yourself that number? And then if you were honest, well, you could say, what would you have to do in order to make that a 10, right? Say you said a 5, what would make it a 7? In order for you to feel more confident, a lot of it's going to be bullshit, right? Because you'd be like, oh, well, I would need to get that next promotion at work or I would have to get into. These are all external things. External things, you know, while they help making these leaps, help build confidence, acknowledge the success you've already had. So that the questions I asked, essentially we're kind of setting you up, it was kind of like a trap you're setting yourself to see, well, what are you basing your confidence on? And if it's something external, then you're, you know, it's confidence is internal. And every single person has the experiences in their life to prop themselves up to feel more confident and to have greater success. So then if we were to ask other people, what would they say you are successful at? What would they say you are good at? If you had to be honest with yourself, what would other people say? And then it maybe helps even write this down. And then as you write those down, just feel it in your heart, write them down, read it aloud, and just be like, wow, thank you for giving me the gifts to do X, Y and Z. Breathe it in, feel it in your heart space and then let go and go about your day. If you do that, I know that you're going to feel different because it feels different when I do it and we're not all that different. So I hope you enjoyed this episode. I hope in some way it helps you just to stop in your day and just to acknowledge the successes you've had, acknowledge your wins and to realize that every day that you are alive is a win. And hopefully that gives you a little bit of push to step out in a bigger way in just how you show up in life. If you enjoyed this podcast, you can hit that subscribe button. If you want to ask a question or leave a comment, you could do so by visiting my website at www.donnyrouse.com again www. O-n n y r a u s.com as always guys, thank you so much for tuning in. Remember, you only get one life. Live it. God bless and I will see you again soon.