The 1 Second Rule - Security vs Success

Most people spend their entire life stressed without ever giving a single thought as to what it is they really want or what's important to them. See, I'm here to cut through all that noise, connecting you to yourself and the life that you were meant to live. I used to slave away at a corporate job that I hated, but I broke through the social norms and pursued my passion. As a result, I own my own coffee company. I'm espresso sommelier, and I get to travel the world. You too can live a life that you love, but it starts with getting clear about what you want. It starts with a new decision. I'm your host, Donnie Rouse. You are listening to the podcast One Life, the One Second Rule. What if it only took one second to get from where you are to the very thing that you long for? Would you be willing to spend that time, that one second, to get there? Well, I'm here to tell you that it indeed does take one second to get to where you want. And another second and another second and another second. But it's all these. It's this compounding of seconds. It's this compounding of taking the steps that will get you to the end result. The body you want, the relationship you want, the career you want, anything that you want is going to start with a single second. And what I'm saying is it might seem a little obvious. Well, of course it starts with a single second. I mean, everything takes time. But that's not what I'm getting at. What I'm getting at is having to break through the fear, having to break through a barrier, right? Because our minds are not designed to make us happy. Our minds are designed to keep us safe. And when you understand this concept, then you can start to make sense of everything that's going on around you, right? When you feel fear, you start to be okay with the feeling of fear. Because, you know, it's just your body trying to keep your mind, your body, everything, just trying to keep you safe. When you realize it's for the better good, then you say, all right, well, this is what I'm feeling. And while it's not going to be comfortable, right, because you're going to be like, all right, I have to step through this. This kind of feels like a flaming loop. How do I go through this? But when you do the one second rule, which I will describe shortly, you are able to break through and you're able to come out at the other side unburned. So what is it? So if one second was all it took, to change an aspect of your life, what aspect or what category or what area of your life would you want to change? And then in that one area, what is the thing that you've been holding back, that you haven't stepped through because maybe you've been afraid. Now, I'm going to go through this podcast and just want you to hold that and listen to what I'm about to say, and then we'll address it again at the very end. So I was in Miami, Florida, this last week. I went for four days, literally, just because I wanted to get out of the. Out of the cold weather. But it was also for another intention. I wanted to start reviewing cafes. I travel around the world, and one of my favorite things to do while I'm traveling is I love to experience cafe cultures. I love to go to places, try their coffee, learn what they're doing. This way, I could bring that ritual back to. To my home and share it with other people. On this trip, I had been kind of indoors in my own little world for a while, and I consider myself to be a very social person. But here's the thing. When I am not being social, when I am in my room doing work and I'm not really interacting with people, I start to develop a pattern of being introverted, of going inward and feeling awkward whenever I have to communicate with other people. And I'm sure I know that I'm not the only person who experiences that, right? Because we tend to form like this emotional home whenever we're around consistently, we start to take on and make our own. So it requires a change of the environment, a change of habit to break out of that. So I was in Miami, and at first I was a little bit, like, kind of. It was more in my head. And then one day in my room, there was a new guy because I was staying at the place called the Freehand, which is a hostel hotel. One of the guys in my room, he came in. I was in my bed because I just landed and I really didn't. I just needed a rest because I hadn't slept the night before. So I was in there. A new guy comes in my room. Like, I really don't feel like talking right now. But then I was like, you know what? Let me just. Let me first. Let me just say hello. So I started talking to him, and his name is Kat. He actually was an awesome guy from Romania, and we would end up developing a friendship while we were staying at the Freehand together. As the days were going by, I noticed myself being More nervous about approaching a girl, talking to new people, specifically of the opposite sex. And then when I started noticing this, I was like, this is stupid. First of all, like, I know how I am around people. I know that I like one, I enjoy two people take really well. To me, it's just, it's always been that way. So why am I afraid? What's the difference now versus what it's been in the past? The difference was I was lit. I was just stuck in my head. So about like two days in, I started to develop this habit. Alright, well, when I feel like I'm a little. Feeling a little apprehensive, when I'm feeling a little nervous, that's when I just make the dove. I say, one, two, three, go. And I just go into talking to the person or doing whatever it is that I want to do. But I'm feeling nervous about one part, that one thing that was very specific. Well, actually two. It was actually both on the same night. The first was I was with my friend Fatih. We were sitting on this chair and there was a group of probably like 13 girls. It was exactly 13 women sitting near the pool. One had a, you could tell she was about to get married. She had like a bridal thing. So you would assume that, okay, this is a bachelorette party. So I was talking to my friend, I was like, you know what, Dha fati, should I go say something? I look, he's like, yeah, yeah, go, go, go. And I felt like nervous at first because I was kind of intimidated, right? There's 13 girls there. I'm gonna walk up to this entire group. But then I remembered like, you know, what makes a change? What makes a change? One second. So even though I was feeling it, I literally threw myself into the situation. I started walking over there and once you're in motion, you're in motion, right? Once you're in motion, you can't turn back. It's almost more embarrassing to turn back. So I went up, I literally went right up to the bachelorette party and I'm looking at the bride to be joking around because it was obvious who she was. I was like, so who's the one getting married here? She's like, oh, it's me, it's me. And I started talking to him, say, where are you guys from? They were all from Texas, first time in Miami. And it was literally just that. It was just a conversation and it was a great conversation. But you know, the reason I did it was basically one because I wanted to talk to people secondly, because I knew I was afraid. And when I again, when you start the motion, when you take that first step, you build momentum. Later on in that night, I was again, I was still with my friend Fatih, and we were. The night was about to be over and I saw two people outside. Oh, no. I don't even know if they were outside. I can't remember if I went outside first or they came afterward. But. But anyways, I was with my friend, five dfs, and then these two girls came out, and as we were sitting there, they were there. I was like, all right, let me just converse. Let me just say hello. So I turned again, feeling like there was that little kind of that friction where I was like, ah, should I say hello? Should I not? Or should I just keep my own business here? And I was going to screw it. I literally turned, 1, 2, 3, go. And I turned and. And I just had a. Said hello. And then I had a great conversation. We actually. And like, it was. The conversation went pretty well into the night. And she was an awesome person. She has a podcast as well called the Inspired Attorney. And we ended up just having a lot in the comments. So it's always, I'm happy when I meet good people, but if I had stayed in my head, if I allowed the fear to control the actions that I was taking, I wouldn't have done it. I wouldn't have stepped out. I wouldn't have met the people that I met. I mean, these are just two examples of that, of that in that trip, coincidentally, they're both around, like, approaching girls and started talking to them. But I could look at that and I could literally even going up to the cafes or doing coffee reviews in Miami, even interacting with the baristas and being on video. I'm not really. I've never really recorded my. My content when I'm talking about coffee. I haven't put it. Really put it out there that much. So it was a new experience for me. And I have this again. I like, just like when I come on the podcast, I'm not always ready to get on here and start speaking. I don't use a script when I'm here, if you can tell. I mean, sometimes I have like some little bullet points, but often, more often than not, there's nothing. So what. How do I do it? One of the reasons why I come. I'll give you my secret as to how I do my podcast, because once that when I go live, the reason why I'm coming on here video is one, because when I Know I'm live. I know there's no turning back. I know I have to move forward. Even if I start fumbling over words, I know that I have to continue. So it is that one second. And I always feel I'm like, all right, when do I press the streaming button? Right? I'll press it sometimes. I'll be like, no, no, not yet. I'll go to press it. No, no, no, not yet. And then I'll press it, and then I'll just start going. That is really what brings me here, and that's what really gets me to carry through. Because now that I am alive and I know people are watching, and then I know that I can't just stop and rerecord because I didn't like the way something sounds, right? Because it really. If there's one thing I want you to take from this, it's about action, committing to the action, not the result. Because the result is a moving target. Once you do something and you do it to satisfaction, there's always going to be a next level of satisfaction. There's always going to be the new thing, but the result. You have to build the habit around whatever it is that you want. And building the habit requires you to step through the discomfort. And this discomfort is the one second rule. If you just say, okay, what is it that I want to do? When you feel yourself apprehensive and kind of like shrinking, that's when you say one go. And you just do the thing that you want that you need to do. And as a result of doing that, you'll realize once you take the action, all the fears, everything else just floats away. And that is how you build momentum. So let's go back to it. So what is an area of your life where you want to see some changes? Second question is, what are the things that, like, where are the actions that you know you have to take, but then you kind of freeze? I'll give you an example real quick. This morning, I woke up a little bit later than I wanted to do, than I wanted to. And I was like, oh, gosh, I gotta wake up. But last night I said, all right, I'm gonna stretch. The first thing I'm gonna do, I'm gonna get up, I'm gonna meditate, I'm gonna pray, I'm gonna stretch, I'm gonna take a cold shower, and then I'll start my day. Sometimes when I wake up late, more often than not I'm like, oh, my God, I gotta stretch. I gotta work out. And I Feel the day's behind me. But I made the decision. I said, no, I am going to stretch right now. And as a result of doing that, you start to. After you do it, yeah, you're kind of like you're hitting the wall. You're a little bit anxious because you feel like the day is getting ahead of you. But then when you realize that you took the action you did, what you said you're going to do, everything else starts to quiet down. Now all of a sudden, I'm in control of my day again. So, third question. What if you took that one action? Well, let's do the third question. What is the feeling that has been holding you back from taking that action that we just did in question number two? Maybe it's like I feel anxious. Maybe I'm worried about doing wrong. Maybe I'm worried about being judged. What is it for you? And then fourth, what will happen after you take that action? Think about the emotions you're gonna feel. Think about the things that are gonna come as a result of taking that action. I'll tell you this is that once you take the action, the fears, everything else that melts away is similar to the weightlifting analogy I gave when I was doing weights. There would be a point where my body was like screaming inside saying, donnie, this is it. I cannot take it anymore. This hurts. And then I would say, I'm pushing through anyways. And there was a point where when I broke through, maybe it was like, set rep number 13 out of a 15. There's a point where I break through. And all of a sudden the mind becomes quiet. And all of a sudden now, now you have this pathway to power because now you know the feeling inside and what is following. So what would it give you after the word, what becomes available to you as a result of breaking through that fear? That one second, that's all I've got for you guys today. I hope you enjoyed this post. I promise you, if you just do this one thing, it will transform your life. I'll guarantee it. This is my written guarantee. So if you enjoyed this, please give it a share. Subscribe to the One Life Podcast. Go to the Rousecoff Donnyrous D O N N Y R A U S.com hit the subscribe button. Why is that important? Because everything in your outside world is there to try to take your attention and it does not have your best interest. They have their best interests, right? I mean, even me, right? I want you to listen to this, but my hope is that by listening to this, you're getting value things that are going to align you with your heart, your true desires, as well as giving you the skill sets to move towards the thing you want. Because I believe that life is meant to be lived. I believe that you were meant to live your most passionate life. And that is what I feel like my calling is here to do is to ignite yours. So please hit the subscribe button. Hit the subscribe button. I can't even speak right now and share it with your friends if you have any questions, Comments if you would like to purchase some awesome Rouse Coffee to start your day when you listen to the One Life Podcast, you can do so by visiting www.donnierouse.com agaiN-O-N n y r a u s.com as always, thank you so much for tuning in. Thank you so much for listening. I know you could be putting your anywhere, but you're choosing to spend it here with me to improve your life and to connect you to your desire. So God bless you guys all and I will see you again soon.