The Power of Stopping: The Only Way to Invite Peace Into Your Day

Most people spend their entire life stressed without ever giving a single thought as to what it is they really want or what's important to them. See, I'm here to cut through all that noise, connecting you to yourself and the life that you were meant to live. I used to slave away at a corporate job that I hated, but I broke through the social norms and pursued my passion. As a result, I own my own coffee company. I'm espresso sommelier, and I get to travel the world. You too can live a life that you love, but it starts with getting clear about what you want. It starts with a new decision. I'm your host, Donnie Rouse, and you are listening to the podcast One Life. What's going on, guys? Donnie Rouse here. And today I want to talk to you about stepping out of the noise. But first, let me start with a question. How many times in a day do you actually stop, meaning you put everything down just to kind of connect and feel the moment. I'm willing to bet that there are actually very few of these moments in your day. And the reason why I say that, or I assume that, because I am very much, was very much that way. And there's a problem when you don't take that time to connect with yourself, to connect with the moment, to connect with greater things, life. You start to make the small things big and the big things small. I don't think I have to tell you how that affects your life. When you do that long enough, all of a sudden you start putting all of your mental power towards the things that it aren't going to matter one day, one week, one month, one year from now. So how do you reconnect? Like, how do you bring yourself back to the most important, the essence of what's important for your life? I tell you one thing, that it's not going to be something that is going to be easy in doing it. It's easy in theory, but in application, it's actually very challenging because the entire time while you're doing it, your mind is going to be key, kicking and screaming, because you've been, you know, you've been stressing yourself out for so long that it wants to continue going down that path, because that is what it knows. But I promise you, if you heed the advice I'm about to give you and take something away from the story I'm about to share and just literally apply a little piece of it towards your day going forward, that it's going to make dramatic difference in your life. So first, let's Bring some awareness to your life. Like, how are you approaching your day? How do you feel on a regular basis? You wake up in the morning, what do you feel? Do you feel like, holy shit, I'm just thrown right into it, there's no time to breathe and I'm feeling lightheaded. Or are you on the opposite side of the spectrum and you're like, you know what? I wake up, I feel super calm. I have my coffee in the morning. I am connected to everything that is, I'm one with the world, with my environment. I know exactly why I'm here, what I want to accomplish, what makes me feel good. Maybe you're one of the very few that are on that side. Very few people live there, at least all the time. But the more we can start moving that ball and pushing it towards the other side, the more we could live into really who we are, what we were here to do, and just bring more joy to our life. So the first thing is bring some awareness to it. What are you feeling on a day to day basis? Secondly, what do you want to feel like? How do you want to experience your day? It's so easy to think that the events of your day are controlling you, when it's actually very much the opposite. You are in control of the events of your day, at the very least, how you show up. And so when you put the stakes in the ground at the very, very beginning and you know why you're going, you put intention into your day. Now all of a sudden it's easier to kind of mold it into what it is that you want. And then thirdly, once you put that intention, the only other thing to do is to make it happen. And I'll tell you this, just by putting the intention there, what's going to happen is that you're going to see the opportunities show up in your day, but it's up to you to take those. So yesterday, one of the things I loved when I was living in Miami beach, one of the things that brought me so much joy was that I would take the. In the evening, well, morning too. Morning. I would go down to the beach, I would take my breakfast down to the beach. I would sit there, eat my breakfast, my instant, not instant notes, my overnight notes as the sun was coming up. And then I would just look in awe because, you know, it's coming up every, the, everything's starting to get more active. And it would, but it was like a slow start to the, to the, my day. Then I would go in, I would, you know, Like, I would do some work, and it literally changed my entire day when I did that. Like, my day started off, and it was amazing. I didn't like being secluded when I was in Miami. I would always work in my. My. From my apartment. And so that part I didn't like as much. But when I started off in this with this habit, I actually was very productive. And then I would go out mid afternoon, and I would go skateboard, and I'd come back and do a little bit more work. And then at the end of the day, what I would do is I would go out to the opposite side of the island, and then I would bring tea, and most of the time, I would bring my dinner. And I would sit there as the sun was setting, and I would eat my dinner and drink my tea, watch as the sun was set in all the lights of downtown Miami. Come on. It brought me so much joy, so much peach, and really, really just connected to me, to my day. I would go back to my apartment. All of a sudden, everything was quiet, right? I mean, it's not like my neighbors were making noise or that there was music playing across the hall. It was my mind. It was quiet. My mind was actually put to rest. And this is probably one of the biggest issues that we face right now, is that there's so much shitty noise. There's so much noise in this world, so many people trying to make demands on your time, that it just speeds you up and has you going in this vicious circle that you don't know how to stop. But stopping is actually the easy part, is just stepping outside of the noise for a moment to give your mind enough time to just calm down. So I'm back here in Connecticut, and I did that when I came back from Miami. I did that for probably, like, a few days. A few days. And then I was right back into the way, like, my normal groove. Then it was like, oh, my God, there's no time to do this, no time to do that. And I would go around. I'd reserve times in the morning to have my coffee to journal. But then there was a lot of times where I was just in quiet desperation. I was just trying to give myself a little bit of, like, a cushion before, like, the day would come in and take me on that roller coaster because there's all these different projects that I want to be a part of, create. And it just felt, like, overwhelming. And I was doing it to myself, to be honest with you. I was doing it to myself. The thought of going out and taking A walk in the afternoon, during lunch, taking a break from doing work at the computer and going out. I'm like, oh no, there's no time to do that. I don't have time to do that. I would get all flustered and I would stay at my desk. And how do you think that made me feel? As a result of not moving? I'm staying at the desk telling myself I don't have the time. And then I would keep going. It actually was less productive than I had just gone out and taking the damn walk. Taking the walk, moving your body, seeing new things, that revitalizes you. And I would tell myself that I couldn't do it. And then going back to the beach and going there and doing that evening routine, I would go towards the gym, like, you know what? I'm going to go to the beach today. Then all of a sudden I would get there. I'm like, no, I can't. There's no time to go to the beach. I have to get this, this and this done so I could do this tomorrow. And then I would just keep pulling myself telling, giving myself all the reasons why I couldn't do the very thing that I wanted and the very thing that would add so much pleasure to my life. I picked up that habit again yesterday. And yesterday I was, you know, you know what? I am going to go to the beach. I'm going to make it a point to go to the beach and I'm going to have my dinner, I'm going to sling my hammock, I'm going to have my dinner, I'm going to watch the sun go down and I'm going to read. It was amazing. So I. But it wasn't just easy. I didn't. I want to share the resistance that I felt in doing that. So this way, when it shows up in your own life, you realize that the resistance is that just to keep going. So I was on my way to the beach, I mean, on my way to the gym. And the. It was about, I think like maybe six o'. Clock. It was past six because I had to do a drop off. I had to do like some shipments. And I was like, man, now I'm not gonna be able to get the gym. I was supposed to do weights and I'm like, well, you know, weights are gonna take me at least a half an hour and a half. By the time I get out of the gym, the sun's all gonna be, it's already gonna be setting and I'm gonna lose all of that as I was going in the gym. I was like, what is it? What is it that I really want right now? I was like, all right. I promised myself, I made a promise to myself at the beginning of the day when I set my intentions, that I was gonna go to that beach and that I was gonna read, I was gonna relax because I know I was really, really put the intention into my day, but also got acquainted with the feeling I was gonna feel as a result of going to that beach and experiencing that. So that was already in my mind. So at the gym, I'm looking, I'm like, what should I do? I could do my weight routine and I'll have to cut it short, which is fine. I could, I can get a good workout in half an hour or 40 minutes. I could do that. But then I was, you know, let me instead, let me just do some cardio. So I, I jumped on the rower and I kicked my butt. I mean, this was not the intention of coming out, but it was, it was rough. I realized a little technique in the rowing, how you lead with the hips, meaning when you're pulling the rowing back, the hips lead and then at the end you lean back and you pull. I, I couldn't even move afterward. But nevertheless, it was a 20 minute workout. I stretched for a little bit, showered, and then I went down to the gym, I mean down to the beach. And you know, as I'm going there, I'm kind of like rushing. I have this fast paced walk as I'm making my way around Cove island park, looking for these, this little secluded trifecta of trees that I sling my hammock in and I go to this spot. One, because the trees are at the right distance apart, but secondly, because there's nobody in that area. So I get that little bit of seclusion. Although there's this tree like right in the center of my vision, like my sight. So it's like I'm looking right at the center of a tree. But it's not bad because I could go in the hammock, I could kick back and forth with my legs and it gives me a little rocky motion. I like it. So while I'm there, I was kind of rushing to get there. And then while I was at the beach and I noticed that everything all of a sudden started to slow down. I started seeing people walking, enjoying their day. I'm looking at the, you know, the sun setting in one direction and looking at the water in the opposite direction, and everything started to almost come, become like 4D, like the colors were more vibrant. Everything was just. I could feel it. And it was because I was taking that moment to. Just to stop and to feel the moment as I was sitting there. I was reading. I was reading, reading Walden by David. I'm sorry, Henry Thoreau. I'm not sure if I'm pronouncing the name. How do I forget that? It's like such a good book and I've been wanting to read for a long time. Thoreau is his last name. That's all we need to know. And in this book talks about simplicity. He goes out to nature. He goes out to Walden Pond and spends, I think, two years here, builds his house. And what he realizes in this is that once his needs were met, like the food, shelter and clothing, that he didn't really need anything. It was about the warmth, just having the warmth of the body. Like the food that he was eating gave the body warmth. And once you had that warmth in the body, then everything else was just kind of like icing on the cake. And one of the things that really stuck to me and the reason why I mentioned this is just because it goes into the simplicity and. And how it's so easy to get caught up with comparison when you are back home. He goes, and he's talking about travel. One of the reasons why I started reading the book was because of this whole philosophy that he had in this book about travel, simplicity and living. Living a certain way. And he was talking about travel and how he, I guess he'd met. He was given the story about a woman who, when traveling, they would live very simply. Like the clothing was very simple clothing, but when they came back to the United States, the clothing was very fashionable, very high end. And he was going into saying about the. Just about the simplicity, how people spend all this money on things that they don't really need, just because they have to keep up with a Persona. His idea behind buying a new wardrobe, for example, was that you don't buy new wardrobe for the sake of buying a new wardrobe or for an event. You buy new clothing when you grow out of the person that you are, which I thought was mind blowing. How many times do you hold on to things that no longer serve you, that you've grown past, but you hold on to this old identity. And as a result, it kind of keeps you a little bit like in the past. So I thought that was just a thrilling concept that he had presented there. But the whole concept, what I really mentioned that was. Wanted to mention that was for. Was for the simplicity. He Went out there to really understand what was it that he really needed in life. And it turns out to be very, very little. Once he, you know, he talks about the great sages, the saints, and how they went out and realized that when they were living in poverty that they. Once those needs were met, they had everything they needed. And I'm not saying this for you to go live in poverty or to give up everything, but rather just to give you a little shake to help you understand, well, what is it that's really important in my life? Like, where am I driving the ship and where is somebody else driving this ship in a direction that I don't even want to go? Because that is ultimately what is going to leave you feeling like you're always thirsty, feeling like you're always missing something when it is just someone else trying to feed you something that you don't even want in the first place. So I gave you a lot of things there. Let's bring it back to the center. My start to my day today was this. I set my intention for the day. What is it that I want to feel? And then I went through all these things, but then I was thinking about the greater my life as a whole and how I want to live passionately, how I want to have an impact on the world. And then I started journaling. Well, what exactly does that look like? And I was going, you know, journaling. I'm like, you know, coffee, obviously, freedom of travel. And then I threw a cafe in there, right? I'm like, oh, you know, having a coffee shop, because I love the coffee, making the coffee, and I love the social aspect of it, right? But I. For my life right now, it doesn't fit because I still want to do a lot of traveling. I don't know if that's ever going to change. I'm always going to want to travel, but at least right now, it's. I made a conscious decision not to pursue the cafe. And then as I was going through the impact I wanted to make, like, what is the impact I want to have on the world while I'm here and while. When I'm no longer here. And that answer that came to me was to help people feel the moment, to connect people to the moment and what is important in that moment? Because it's so easy to lose sight of what's important, to let all the noise around you drown out what your heart is calling you to do. One of the things that I feel I'm here to is to connect you to that desire, to your Day to the things that really matter. I do that through this podcast here and hopefully I do it through the coffee by making coffee that's so delicious that it gets you to stop and savor that moment. So going back to the beginning, like, how do you wake up every day? Like when you, when you wake up in the morning, what are the emotions? Right? And I don't want to trigger you, but if you are triggered by this question, I want you to understand and ask yourself why. And then next, what is it that you want to do? Like, what could add some joy to your day, some bring you some peace, help you to just stop and appreciate everything that there is? This may require you to step outside of the box that you are in. And I say that with all due respect because we all live in some kind of box. There's this balance of familiarity with variety. And when you're too much in one of those, your life kind of just kind of feels off but out of the box. Meaning like out of the day to day routine. Like when I'm here in my room and I'm doing work. Ah, oh my God. But sometimes I'm very effective at doing work here because I want quiet. But the other side, like once I step outside and I go outdoors, I'm like, oh my God, what, What is this? I feel like I'm in. It's almost like I feel like reborn because I just stepped out of that room. I try to do that the first thing in the morning is get outside, go for a walk. So this way I have that. I get that feeling right in the beginning of my day. And then lastly is just to go do the damn thing you said you want to do. It doesn't have to be for an hour, two hours. It could literally be for 15 minutes, half an hour. I promise you that if you do that, even if it's a freaking cup of coffee on your porch watching the squirrels gather nuts and whatever, take that moment, it's going to add so much value to your day. It's going to bring you so much clarity. It's going to realign you with the things that are really important and really matter in your life. And this is important because there's everything around you that is trying to work against you, is trying to pull you in a direction that of their needs, their desires, not what is right for you. So I encourage you to do that because your happiness, your joy, your fulfillment is all at stake. So commit to something, to doing something that will connect you to that moment, whether it be a cup of coffee. Whether it be a walk after dinner, whether it be maybe just catching up with a friend it doesn't even have. You don't have to do it alone. Get a friend and say hey, you know what, we haven't done seen each other in a while, let's go for a walk. Really? Why? Why do you want to go for a walk? It's kind of weird. You never asked me to go for a walk because I want to just connect with the moment and I want to connect with you. Do something, anything to knock you out of that day to day humdrum routine where you are just in hypnosis. Do that and I promise you you will see the benefit and it will impact your day as well as your life going forward so long as you continue it. So that's what I have for you guys today. I hope you enjoyed this message. I hope it changes how you look at your day as well as the intentions you put into it and how you feel. And if all goes to hell, just at least you can enjoy a cup of Rao's coffee. So that is all I've got for you today. I hope you enjoyed this episode here. If you did, please share it with someone whom you feel could benefit from it. And again, please, please, please if you wouldn't mind leaving a review for this podcast. It would be a tremendous help and I would greatly appreciate it. So I'm here to connect you to your day, the things that are important and while I will still continue to do it, it feels good to be able to expand that reach and get more people to hear the words that I'm sharing. So I hope this, this helped you. If you have any questions or comments you can send them to me via my website@donnyrous.com d o n n y r a u s.com that is all I've got for you guys today. Hope you enjoyed this episode. Remember, you only get one life. Live fully, live passionately and most of all live now. God bless you guys and I will see you again soon.