True North

Hi, guys. My name is Donnie Rouse, and you are listening to the podcast One Life True North. So I really believe that every single one of us has this internal compass that knows exactly what decision we need to make, exactly what we want at every given moment. But here's where we run into some trouble a lot of the time. We let the opinions, the expectations of others kind of fog that lens to the point where we are not even sure of what we want. So this past week, I'll give you two stories. One, I was at the farmer's market. I was talking to one of my friends, and he was looking at his life, kind of projecting out to the future. He works in the restaurant industry, and if you've worked in the restaurant industry before, you know that it could be a very, very challenging choice of career because, one, you're not only dealing with people. That in and of itself could be extremely difficult and draining, but it could be taxing because it requires you to be on all the time. My friend worked in the kitchen, so he was putting in crazy hours, crazy, crazy hours, and it was very demanding. While he loved doing the work, and he was very good at it. He was looking out and he's like, well, I can't keep doing this forever. Eventually, I'm gonna kind of burn out, and I don't want it to be when I'm older and, you know, and then I'm left with nothing. So as we were talking, he's like, you know, I'm a little confused. I don't know what to do. And then I had him. I was like, well, explain. Well, what would you want to do? And he's like, well, you know, I love editing music. I really enjoy that. I mean, I could do that for no money, and I would just love it. And then he was telling me about the opportunity of investing in some real estate. And he was saying how he and his brother were going to put some money into a property, and the objective was to get enough rentals where it was supplying them the income they needed to live a really good life, a comfortable life. After he told me this, I was like, wait, didn't you just tell me that you had no clue what you wanted? And then it kind of clicked, and he's like, oh, yeah, I think I did say that. Turns out he was giving himself this story that he didn't know what he wanted, when in reality he knew exactly what he wanted. I mean, it couldn't be more crystal clear. Give you another example. This one's a little bit differently. And it's an example of myself. So I've been doing the coffee company for a very long time, and I've been at a tug of war a lot with it, because part of me wants. There's a part of me that wants to see this, too, to bring it to this giant scale, because I know how good my espresso is, and I know how good just what my coffees are. But then there's another side of me that it's craving. This freedom, this adventure to be out in the world. And the internal story in my head is that the business is what's kind of going to keep me stuck. And the picture I have is. Is being in, like, an office building and doing the same mundane thing day in, day out. I mean, is it reality? Probably not. Could it be true? It could if I make that true. Right? The only thing that makes anything true is if we believe in it. And I know for a doubt that if I. You know, I wouldn't even say if when I grow the company, that I would not allow that to happen. But yet I was letting the story kind of go in my head. The point I'm trying to make here, that's not even I sidetracked with that little story. But the point is, I was looking at all these things that I'm doing for my business through this business group that I belong to, the objective of one life. And I noticed a couple of things that I was being guided or kind of, like, swayed by other people's expectations of what I needed to do, how I needed to run my business. And it was causing a lot of internal tension with me. And to be honest with you, it still causes some tension with me. But the difference between then. When I say then, I mean, like, literally a week, two weeks ago, and before that and now is that I finally started becoming conscious of the needs I'm trying to fulfill. Like, whose needs am I trying to fulfill? I can tell you what, they weren't my own. I was doing these things to try to appease and please other people without saying, you know what? Well, what is? What do I want? What do I need? Forgetting that I am. Like, we are the master curators of our life. We get to create our lives, not the other way around. People don't tell us how to create or how we have to live. We get to decide that. And where I was getting stuck, and maybe you get stuck there, too, was kind of like the programming. And it's. Man, it's gonna be tough being, like a parent. I can't imagine because you have all the best intentions for parenting, but yet, like the mind, the way the mind works, it starts to create the stories. Like, I used to get reprimanded as a child to do the right thing. As a result of that, there's always even raising a voice almost puts this disciplinary trigger in my mind. I was allowing things like that to run my life today. The difference is now I've becoming more aware of it now when I see it, I could stop the. I could pause the emotion, observe it going on, change my state to get into a better state, and then make a different action. But I tell you, it's not always that easy because there's these patterns. They've been with us for sometimes 5, 10, 20, 30, 40, depending how old you are. They've been with us almost our entire lives. And how to break them now, that becomes. I guess it starts with awareness. So let me take a step back. Think of a decision that you have to make. Maybe it's something that's been troubling you and you haven't been able to, you know, you haven't been able to make any kind of progress in that. And just the thought of it kind of feels like this struggle. What do you really want? Don't forget anything. What do you really want? You may be going after something that you don't even want, and that's what I want to save you from. Because that is going to lead you down a place where you're ultimately, you're not going to be happy. And then you're going to wait, figure out, like, oh, my God, I wasted all this time. What the hell was this for? What do you want? Do you want this? If you don't, then who are you doing it for? It's important to understand, like, all right, well, what are these influences that are making us kind of take these directions? And the moment we start to become aware of those, we could take a step back and think, wow, this is like the puppet master. These are the strings that have been controlling my life. And once you know that, then you could start to make a new decision again. What do you want out of life? And are you. Whatever you're doing today, is that taking you a step towards what you want, or is it taking you a step back? I been keeping myself busy with activities. One of my brother's colleagues was like, hey, I want you to write down everything, because I have my own business, and there's not enough time to do everything and grow the business. If you're a sole llc, so he said, listen, I want you to do everything. Just write down all the stuff that you're doing. I was starting to write down the task and what I eventually came up with this long list of tasks that it takes for me to run operations. Week after week, I was realizing that I was watering down my time by doing things that some of the things did not matter to me. They did not add any juice to my life. I mean, they could even be things in my coffee, such as picking up bottles, labeling, sanitizing, doing all this stuff that I don't need to do. And yet it takes so much time and energy because I know it's there. I know that it has to get done and it would free so much if I just kind of let it go. What is that for you? What are the tasks you do on a daily basis? I'm going down a different path here, but I already opened up the can, so why not and just kind of look at what you're doing on a daily basis? Why are you doing these? For me, I had this thing where if I was doing something, I would continue doing it just out of habit because I felt like progress. And that's a good as well as a bad thing. Like take this podcast, for example. I've been posting consistently for literally about a year now. And it's because once I kind of like get in this routine of doing things, I hatch so much more pain to not following through and not continuing it. It's good when you're listening to this and you're getting value out of this and you're like, oh, wow, this is great. I love that I can look forward to it because I feel accountable to you listening. But where it doesn't serve me is when I'm doing things that don't serve me. I mean, I be all honest with you, I really enjoy doing this. I hope that you, you get value out of me sharing my experiences. Because that's, to be honest with you, that's the only reason I, I do it, because I want you to learn from what I'm going through again, realize that you're not alone in what you're feeling. And also give you that wake up call that life is happening now and to reach for those things you want. So in closing, I'll ask it. I think. I don't know if this is like number five or it's probably close to number five, maybe even more than that. What do you want? In the past, what has kept you from getting it? Note that whatever reason you put down Here. That's the story we tell ourselves. That's the story. That's our limiting story that we tell. It's the belief we have as to why we can't have what we want. What we want. Once we change that, then we could change how we approach everything. But again, get clarity. What do you want? Guys, thank you so, so much for tuning in. This was kind of a spontaneous. I was not even working on a podcast, but then I just kind of got this desire to come on here and spit these words. I love to use that phrase, but I hope you really got value. If you did, please send me a message, comment on the post, or share with your social media tag me Onny R A U S. Give me some kind of flag to let me know that you're actually finding value in this, because that is one of the things that feeds me. It's not just putting material out there because that's not what it's about. Because otherwise I could spend my time elsewhere. But I want to know that you guys are getting some value out of this through the experiences I share. And going forward, it's going to be more along the lines of living that one life about taking the time to do what you want to do, to live how you want to live, to be how you want to be now. Because we spend so much time in contradiction and conflict in our own minds that we forget that life is happening now and that this is the only time we have. And just to kind of enjoy it. That is it. Again, share this podcast with all your friends. In the future, this might change to live your one life. Because one life is kind of a vague term if you're looking for a podcast, but nevertheless, if you subscribe, you will not miss an episode. So subscribe. And again, please share this podcast with your friends. I wish you all a happy and blessed week. God bless, and I will see you next week.