What Do You Want? - The Question for a Magnificent Life

Most people spend their entire life stressed without ever giving a single thought as to what it is they really want or what's important to them. See, I'm here to cut through all that noise, connecting you to yourself and the life that you were meant to live. I used to slave away at a corporate job that I hated, but I broke through the social norms and pursued my passion. As a result, I own my own coffee company. I'm Espresso Sommelier, and I get to travel the world. You, too, can live a life that you love, but it starts with getting clear about what you want. It starts with a new decision. I'm your host, Donnie Rouse, and you are listening to the podcast One Life. So this one is an experience. I just came back from Colombia from doing a short trip, and this was one of the learning experiences that I've had in that and very, very, very, very big thanks to my friend Giselle. So we're just going to go dive right into it. What do you want? What do you want? If I were to ask you the question for an area of your life, like, what do you want in your body? What do you want in your career? What do you want in your relationships? Would you be able to give me any kind of detail as to what it is that you want? Would you have the nerve or the courage to tell me what exactly what it is that you want? In my experiences, I've found in my own experiences that sometimes I would tell myself that I didn't know what I want. But the truth was that I didn't want to voice what it was that I wanted because either I didn't want it to interfere with what someone else wanted, maybe someone like a friend or someone I was talking to or maybe a relationship. Or I would just tell myself that I didn't know because I wasn't really asking the question. It was more of like a surface, like, well, what do I want? And I would kind of blow over it without ever really giving some conscious thought to what it is that I desire. So let me ask you a question, and this is more for awareness. How often do you ask what it is that you want for a given area of your life? What do you want out of your day? What do you want out of listening to this podcast right now? I'm willing to bet that it's not very often that you ask for what exactly you want. You could look at what you want as setting an intention, right? Your intention guides the energy. Once you set an intention, all of a sudden, now things become possible. Because now you're focusing energy on a desired outcome. But what happens if you don't set that intention? What happens if you don't identify what it is that you want, what it is that you're aiming for? You kind of haphazardly move around your world, trying one thing, jumping to another thing, and you lose momentum. I really do believe that you're guided in a sense that all the decisions are kind of eventually will kind of move you towards a certain path. It just could be longer and a little bit more painful than you want. So let's do the work upfront. Let's identify what it is that we want. So back to the questions. How often do you identify what it is that you're aiming for, what it is you want, what the outcome is that you're aiming that you. That you're going for? Said differently, how often do you set an attention for the task at hand? Next, what do you want? Think of an area of your life where maybe you're having a little bit of turmoil, a little bit of struggle. What is it that you want in that area? And then lastly, and this was actually one of the most empowering results of asking this question was what is holding you back? And I think by asking the not, I think I know by asking the question, when you encounter something you say, listen, this is what I want, you're going to get resistance saying, well, I can't have that because. And while it might be a little bit triggering in the beginning, it's actually a blessing because you're identifying this belief system, something that you think is holding you back from the thing that you desire. So I just came back. I was in Medellin, Colombia. I went down there for literally four days. I left Monday at Monday morning. I got to medellin at about 8 o' clock at night or 9 o' clock at night because my flight was delayed. And then I ended up leaving late Thursday evening or Friday morning at 12 o'. Clock. So it was a very really quick trip. And the reason for the trip was that I wanted to go down there to kind of put my feelers out. I like to travel in the winter, having some, like, nervousness around South America just because I don't speak any Spanish. I was like, you know, let me go test the waters. I have a friend down there. I can go there and see what it's like and if I feel comfortable. But isn't it ironic? Once I actually booked the trip, I got comfortable with the fact of just going even if I didn't meet up with my friend who was living there, my friend Giselle. I still would have been comfortable going there and navigating and moving around just like I had done on so many trips in the past. But prior to planning the trip, I was talking to my friend, jealous. She was like, all right, well you know, I'm going to make myself available for you. What do you want to do in the time that you're here? And I started spewing off all these different things like, oh, well, maybe I'll go to Guatape, maybe I'll go to Jardin, maybe I'll do literally was put all the stuff on paper. She's like, that's fine, but you, you're not going to be able to do it all. What is it you really want? And she would ask us. And I was like. And part of me was like, well, I want to do it all. You know, I want to see everything, but it's not possible in the timeframe that I had there. And then we came to going even like looking at accommodations. So I ended up spending the time at her apartment. And then we booked a place. When we went to Guatape, part of me wanted to also stay at one of the hostels there that was a co working space. But I was like, well, should I stay there? If I stay there then, you know, is she going to be upset? Because you know, I came down there. She's literally blocking out a lot of her time to spend with me and show me her country and her city. And so there was like what I wanted. I started to say, well, yeah, I want this, I want to spend the night here, but how will this person take it? And I started to. That was my first insight as to, you know, yeah, I knew what I wanted, the experience I wanted, but I was putting it off because I didn't. I wasn't sure how someone else would react or how someone would feel about it or if they would be upset with me. Fast forward. I didn't end up staying at that co working space hostel because that my desire changed as I was down there. I realized for when I got there that it just would have been more efficient for all the things that I wanted to do. Go to Guatepe, see Elpignol, that it just wasn't the most effective use of time. So I changed what I desired, what my outcome was. But then during that trip it was kind of the question that kept coming up. Kept coming up, what is it that you want? What is it that you want? Like when we were going to do something for the day. She was always asking the question, all right, well, what do you want? And I found it so refreshing in a way that I was like, well, interesting. I don't ask what it is that I want. We got on the topic of relationships too. We're talking about, well, what do you want? And I would kind of brush it off. I'm like, well, I'm not really sure what I want. But she kept drilling. And as a result of drilling, I realized that I wasn't asking that the most important question as to what I want. And we were just talking about how in relationships, when you don't have, when you're not on the same value system, how it could let you know things could fall apart because you value certain things, certain things that are important, when another person are less important than another. And arguments could happen, whatever. But that's the true of life. If you take a job in an office, what do you want? You want to be out active in the world, like say maybe you love the outdoors, so you would like to be a hike leader or something like that. But you chose to go into accounting and now you're in an office working under, you know, fluorescent lights, right? Your value system doesn't match what you've chosen. So after that trip, I started asking, literally I beat it into my head when I got back to the United States. I was just saying, what do I want? What do I want? What do I want? And I was walking, I was even doing this when I was in Colombia. I just kept asking, what is it? What do I want? What do I want? What do I want? Literally, I didn't stop for a good period of time. Even now that I'm home, I'm still constantly asking myself, what do I want? Different story. Still on topic. I was talking with my friend Ryan. We were looking at YouTube videos, getting inspiration for some of the coffee videos we wanted to shoot. When I was there, I was looking at Gordon Ramsay was doing this ramen, making some like a 10 minute ramen. And there was this, this Asian guy who's critiquing his ramen. And it was just, it was very funny video because you realized everything that this Japanese guy was saying was completely true. Like the ramen looked like it was dead. It didn't look like it didn't even look good. But Gordon Ramsay, the way he was presenting it made it look like, oh, yeah, you know, tell him, cameraman, come in, come close. Look how delicious this looks. And you know, literally, and you're Buying into him, like, ooh. But it literally looked like garbage. And I was looking at this, I was like, well, how can someone put out, like, garbage? Like, clearly, if you look at the way the ramen looked, it didn't look good at all. Like, he was using the wrong noodle, and everything was just off about the dish. One of my favorite dishes. And then I was like, well, why have I, you know, really, it's a Persona. So when I thought about putting out coffee videos, right? I am a coffee authority. But why was I so hesitant to put material out there, right? Who. Who was it that was. I was trying to hold myself back from. Or like. Or what was preventing me from doing this as I thought about what I wanted, right? Even this podcast, for example, wanting to be an inspiration. And I looked at people who were doing the same thing, looking at as maybe they had something that I didn't have that there were, you know, like, well. And I asked myself, well, all right, well, that's what I want. Well, what's holding me back? Why don't I have it? The answer I found was that no one was holding me back, but I was holding myself back. That I wasn't giving myself permission to be the coffee authority, to step into the role of being someone who can influence people to live their one life. And that was when the thing. That's when it changed. Literally, it was like a switch went off. Because I thought about, well, yeah, I am the person that I am holding myself back because I'm saying, well, no, I'm not ready, because. But here's the truth. Once you accept the role, once you accept what it is that you really want, you really are living it because you are in the path, moving forward towards it, right? So let's say being a millionaire. If you say I am a millionaire, you'd be like, oh, yeah, I'm a millionaire. Bullshit. Your mind is telling you, no, you're lying. But if you really feel it in your Persona, because sometimes there's a lot of emotion around money. A lot of people will, oh, well, what if this person hates me? What if people are jealous? You have. There's nothing different separating you from anyone else in the world. The only thing is your habits, especially your habit, challeng way of thinking. So when you realize that you literally have everything at your fingertips and that the only thing that's holding you back is this thing between this perception you have that you don't have it, that is what's holding you back. Abraham Hicks says, ask and it is given and it's always given in opportunity, but it requires you to get specific about what it is that you want, what it is that you're asking for. The million dollar example probably wasn't the best example because even as I was explaining it, it wasn't really making sense to me. But I'll give you one more little backstory. Relationships. I was looking back at relationships, and I don't really even know why this crossed my mind, but I was looking at, like, prior relationships that had prior encounters that I've had. And there was this belief system I had that I wasn't. I don't know if I wasn't manly enough or that I wasn't good in relationships, whatever that reason may be. I don't remember the exact. They just weren't for me was, I think, was the dialogue that was going on in my head. And then that was coming from things where I didn't feel like I was good enough for, you know, in sexual experiences and all these other things. But when I looked at past experiences, I realized that my experiences spoke something very different than what this belief system was. And all of a sudden I'm like, well, why? What is holding me back? It was a belief system in my own mind that was holding me back, saying that wasn't good enough, that I wasn't the right person for a relationship. And once I realized the way my mind was working, once I became, and be honest with you, it's not that I didn't know that before, but it was a result of having this new question of what is it that I want? And then seeing, well, all right, well, why don't, you know, why don't I have it? What's holding me back? And realizing that I was the pin that was holding my prevention, preventing myself from going after what it is that I wanted, it made me realize I'm like, oh, my gosh. I mean, I have. People from the outside would look at and look at me and say, well, he has this. But if you ask me, I would say I didn't have it. Maybe you would say confidence. I would doubt myself with confidence. I would doubt my coffee knowledge. But I know I have that right. I know I've put in the time. I've literally spent 20 years of my life focusing just on coffee. So what do you gather from all this? If you're going to learn anything, what do I want you to take away from this is to give yourself permission. Ask yourself what it is that you really want and give yourself permission to go after it with the Belief that you already have that in which you desire and that you're just on a path. Things are unraveling, things are unfolding for you, but you already have that in which you desire. That is what I want you to come away with. If you listen to this. I want you to just dream a little bit bigger. Get clear about what it is you want without any regard to anybody. It doesn't matter. Your sole purpose is to make yourself happy. Make yourself happy. Does it make you happy? Yes. Does it harm others? If it's no, you move forward. Is it good for the world? If it's yes, move forward. Remember, guys, literally there's one life. You get one life and not a single moment is taken for granted. So we'll review the questions one more time. How often do you ask for what it is that you really want in life? 2. When you start asking this question, what triggers come up? What are the things that you tell yourself as to why you can't have them? Let's go. The third question. If you're honest with yourself, what things are in your life that actually support that in which you desire, that either tell you that you already are on your way or that you already have it? Believe in that. Thank you guys so much for tuning in today. I hope you enjoyed this podcast. I was on a run earlier and I came back and I was like, you know, I want to do. I want to do a post just on wanting, because it literally in the. In the fourth days that I've been asking this, I felt a big shift and I want you to feel that shift as well. So I hope you enjoyed this podcast. Thank you so much for tuning in. If you like this podcast and the content I put here, you can subscribe. If you want to ask a comment or you want to comment or ask a question, you can do so by visiting my website@donnyrous.com, d o n n y r a u s.com thank you guys so much for tuning in. Remember, you get one life. Live it. God bless and I will see you again soon.